A Real Couple Blogging About Sex, Life, and Everything In Between +

July 22, 2014

The Vagina Dialogues – Vaginal Plastic Surgery

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Previous Vagina Dialogue

vaginal plastic surgeryHave you ever pulled into an 10 minute oil change shop and thought to yourself, “I wish they had 10 minute vagina repair shops.”   Sure you have, we all have.

Some doctors say vaginal surgery can increase pleasure and improve appearance, but these procedures are rarely medically necessary, are hardly ever covered by insurance, and can cause nerve damage.   A few of the so-called corrections offered:

Labiaplasty (Labial Reduction Surgery) – $6,000 +
Labial reduction surgery is performed to correct enlargement of the labia. Enlargement of the labia minora (inner vaginal lips) affects many women in the United States. The medical term for enlargement of the labia minora is labial hypertrophy. Women who have an enlarged labia minora experience larger outer lips that protrude beyond the labia majora. Women may suffer from pain during exercise, sexual intercourse, cycling, and horseback riding, as well as when wearing tight jeans.

Labia minora reduction is a procedure done in an outpatient setting under local anesthesia and mild sedation. Labiaplasty surgery reduces an enlarged labia minora with little or no visible scarring. During this procedure, the surgeon will contour, reshape, and reduce the size of the labia. The procedure results in a sleeker, thinner appearance of the labia. After the surgery, the patient must get 2 to 3 days of bed rest and apply ice to the area.  This can reduce the size of the inner or outer labia and even out asymmetrical lips. However, visibly asymmetrical and uneven lips are actually the norm.

Ryan: Not only the norm, but how I’d hope most men prefer to see a woman’s vagina.
Venice: Do you think men want symmetrical vaginas?
Ryan: Men?  No.  Boys?  Maybe.
Venice: Ah.
Ryan: The best part about pulling down a woman’s panties is seeing her vagina.  Her unique shape, smell, size, and yes, how her lips appear.   I mean, other than me experiencing you, we’ve been with the same girls.  What do you think?
Venice: Nothing turns me on more than seeing a woman spread her legs and show me her vagina.  It’s why I am bisexual.   I’ve never really looked at the vagina and thought it was anything but sexy, and I love the variety.
Ryan: What about your own?
Venice: See, that’s funny.  Of course I have thought about what it would be like if my vagina wasn’t sideways, the same as I have thought about my breasts being uneven.  But I’ve never looked at another girl and felt anything but turned on.
Ryan: Welcome to my world.

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July 21, 2014

Threesome Memoirs – Our First Sleepover

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two panties-picsayRyan and I have been seeing one of our girlfriends for months now.   For the most part, we’d only been seeing her during lunch breaks and occasionally dropping by her job to say hi.  We’d been pretty content with seeing her sporadically, squeezing each other in during our days. But then things got a little more serious.  For me, I would say the pivotal point of our “relationship” was when she started buying me things.  It started with lunches, then gradually moved on to sex toys. To me, spending her hard-earned money meant that she thought about me/us as more than sexual gratification.  And no matter how hard I wanted to ignore it, it tugged on my heart strings just a little bit.

Recently I asked her about the possibility of spending the night.  I explained to her that the lunch time meetings were great, but I wanted to spend more time with her, get to know her a little, and just not feel the need to be rushed because of time constraints.  She agreed that it was a great idea.  I couldn’t wait!

A few Fridays ago was a big day for me and for Ryan.  I prepared my mind and body for the things to come.  When she arrived, she was dressed in jeans and a tank top and she let her hair down..literally, down her back.  I wasn’t used to seeing her out of work clothes; immediately I felt my mood lighten.  I made drinks for all of us and we sat outside with Ryan as he grilled.  It was such a nice change of pace to be able to sit and enjoy each other’s company without having to worry about time.  We teased Ryan about him cooking for two women as we took turns slapping his ass through his jeans. As the drinks started to take effect, we started to get more and more comfortable around each other.

We sat outside for a while with our steak and broccoli and watched as the sky turned violet above us.  Although it was perfect outside, I only had one thing on my mind: getting inside the bedroom.  I stood up and motioned for Ryan and our girlfriend to head inside.  I went to the bathroom and started running a bath.  A few minutes later, I went back outside and saw that they took my hint and began putting the chairs and grill away.  I approached her and whispered, “Want to take a bubble bath?” She looked at me with a surprised look, but nodded eagerly.  We started undressing as soon as we got into the bedroom.  We got there just in time as the bubbles were about halfway up the tub.  After we slipped in, I turned the jets on, letting the force of the water massage us.  She told me about her boss who was married, but also had a girlfriend on the side, both of whom knew about each other.  “What an asshole!  Being married and having a girlfriend!” I exclaimed.  “Oh…wait,” I quickly said.  We both laughed after we realized what I had just said. Ryan walked into the bathroom after he heard the commotion.

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July 16, 2014

Q&A: I’m No Longer Attracted To Overweight Husband

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overweight husbandI am really nervous about sharing this, but here it goes.

We have been married just about 5 years now, together for about 9, both 32 years old. He was always a big guy..he was about 250 when I met him but it was his charm, his wit, and his easy-going fun-loving nature that drew me to him. Whenever we were intimate I seem to recall that I really did enjoy it. His penis was/is the smallest I had ever seen. It is maybe about 4 inches when erect. We mainly did it in the doggystyle position and it was fine I guess because I had strong feelings for him then.

Well fast forward to more recent times.. He has gained about 150 lb which puts him at nearly 400 lb (he is 5’11). I am only 5’2 at about 145 lb. Also, because of him slacking in the head of household dept and lying, and a host of other things, we separate for half of last year. During that time we both entertained other individuals. I was intimate with the person I was seeing. We are however, back living together now and have been for this year. 

Here is the problem: I find sex and the thought of sex with my overweight husband gross.

1-He is overweight at almost 400 lb so rolls of fat are all over the place. I am not keen on having missionary (him on top) or cowgirl (me on top) because several years ago, we were just sitting on the bed, and the bed broke. This means that we have wound up having doggystyle sex which does NOT work because….

2-His already small 4-inch penis is further hidden by the added belly and pubic area fat. He so called puts it in, but it’s like nothing is in there. The worst part is that the guy that I was intimate with was very well endowed. I have not idea why people say the thing about black men because it is the COMPLETE opposite for my husband.

I just don’t know how to find a solution to this. I have tried faking enthusiasm for sex, but I realize that I am just short-changing myself because I have a pretty high sex drive. I don’t get any satisfaction from sex with him whatsoever.

I know the standard reply is that I knew he was a big guy when I met/married him, so I shouldn’t say anything now. But truthfully I married him and ignored a lot of things simply because I just wanted to get married. Yes I loved him and we had/have lots of fun together, but fun doesn’t come in handy when I need someone to share certain grownup responsibilities. I’m one of the statistics: got married to him for the absolutely worst reasons. So now that I AM here, and I do have to live with my bad decision.   What can be done NOW?

Is this a reason for divorce? What suggestions do you guys have? I am sexually frustrated and crave affection.

Venice’s response:

First of all, laziness can be fixed.  If he isn’t carrying his weight around the house, let him know it’s a deal breaker.   You should be able to make this stand for your marriage, simply because you already seemed “checked out” and won’t have any problem going through with any consequences you’ve mapped out  if he doesn’t start helping out around the house more.

Now on to what really seems to be bothering you.

A woman who loves her man will love his size regardless of what a ruler says.  However, there will always be women like you whose love doesn’t transfer past the physical attributes of a person (body, penis, etc.). I’m willing to bet you both have never had a serious talk with each other, i.e. the importance of health, physical attraction, in your relationship. I’ll be the first one to tell you – I will never tell anyone to leave a man because he’s “too fat” or his dick is “too small.” That’s all subjective. That is your preference. But I know if a woman loves her man with all her soul, she would rate his body lower than his sense of humor, smile, caring nature, protectiveness, and his ability in making her feel good about herself.  It’s apparent you no longer love him.  And once those feelings are gone and you openly tell yourself and others how gross he is and how small his penis is to you, I don’t think you can ever turn it back on and respect him as a man again.  The damage is done.

With that being said, this seems like a pretty easy fix. The answer to your question is yes, this is a reason for divorce. Not just for you to divorce him, but for him to divorce you. Also, for you to say you crave affection is misleading because you never mentioned that he never gave you affection; rather you’re just looking for people to agree that you need to leave him. So…leave him. He can do better than be with someone who is essentially ashamed of him and who grosses her out. And you can be with with a man who will have a large penis, isn’t fat, and will help carry his load around the house.  Hopefully your new man will still love you when your body starts to deteriorate.

Ryan’s response:

What really stands out to me is the fact you mention his penis size being small numerous times.  You also throw in a very unnecessary comment about your husband being black and not living up to the “myth.”   Why does that really matter other than you want to anonymously humiliate him?

Obviously you have resentment towards him being lazy, him gaining weight throughout the marriage, and you no longer being attracted to him. Truthfully, if you aren’t attracted to him any more, and you definitely do not have respect for him as a man or his manhood, move on with your life. Give him a chance to meet someone who will actually respect and love him, and you find the same.  He can lose all the weight in the world and work hard to carry his half of the grownup load, but nothing will ever make him bigger than 4 inches or a BBC.

Move on as soon as possible and find someone that makes you happy. Life is too short.  Even if your husband doesn’t know it yet, he will be more happy without you.  Especially if he knew how you felt about him, his body, and his penis. Hopefully you stay skinny for the rest of your life and have the most absolute perfect breasts in the world. I’d hate for someone to marry you just to be married and figure out later that your breasts are saggy and small, nipples are ugly, your tummy is getting a bit larger, and your vagina is huge.

 

July 15, 2014

Threesome Memoirs – The Women I Want

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types-of-barbie-dollsI do a lot of porn surfing.

What?  I do.

And in doing so I’ve come to find myself attracted to an array of women of all different types. At first, I assumed that since Ryan was Anglo, and I loved everything about him, my taste in women would resemble his background. I soon realized that I shouldn’t limit myself to a certain flavor. So, after much exposure to all these lovely ladies of the x-rated Internets, I decided to compile a “wishlist,” if you will, of women I would like to experience.

Rebeccah – the dark-haired stay-at-home mother of four who spends most of her free time juggling kids and planning events at the elementary school. She’s very patient with children, naturally, and rarely raises her voice (not even to tell people her name ends with an H). A soccer mom, who secretly reads Fifty Shades of Grey and highlights her favorite parts. However, she is embarrassed about owning the book so she keeps it under her bed hidden from view.  Since she’s a natural giver, she wants to be spoiled in bed… and she’s turned to me and Ryan for that.  Everything in her everyday life is considered average.  We are her escape from reality and when she gets around us she can be the slut she has always wanted be. First I’ll eat her out and get her wet before asking her if she wants to get fucked. When she says yes, I’ll put Ryan’s dick in her and hold her legs up and let her get fucked hard.  She does everything she is asked, no matter how dirty, and loves every second of it.

Maria – Just because she’s from the old country doesn’t mean she’s old-fashioned. And by old country, I mean her mom was born in Cuba and her father immigrated from Colombia when he was three-years-old, but he can’t speak Spanish. Monica’s skin tone is similar to mine and has large breasts that jiggle in her tank top when she laughs. I love her boobs and I can’t help but look at them when she’s not looking. I’ve been with women who were C and D cups, but she claims she’s a 42HH, whatever that is. I want to wear a strap and fuck her as she lays on her back while Ryan fucks me from behind. I want to see her tits bounce by the force of us getting rammed.

Paula – the natural red-head who’s quiet and conservative, but get a few shots in her and she becomes slightly obnoxious when talking about her future efforts to volunteer for Habitat for Humanity. I would most likely meet her in the cereal aisle at the grocery store as she decides between Honey Nut Cheerios or Fruity Pebbles (she opts for the Cheerios). I’d like to see her fair skin juxtaposed against mine as we both suck on Ryan’s dick. I’d also like to see if her lips are just as pink as the inside of her pussy. From what the Internets have shown me, I want to say it’s neck and neck, but I need to judge for myself in person.

Monica – She did some nude modeling for art students in college to pay for her books (they were Chemistry books and they were really expensive). She has smooth, dark skin. And I mean really dark, like Wesley-Snipes-at-midnight dark. Like Paula, I would love to see the contrast of her skin against mine (and Ryan’s) as we all play together. Additionally, I want to watch my brown fingertips slide inside her dark vagina and feel her pussy walls tighten around my fingers.

Melinda – She’s a very active member of her church and it’s most likely because she’s trying to keep her kids active and their minds occupied from her recent divorce. Her hair is blond and always in a ponytail pulled through the snaps of her baseball cap. She wears leggings, a sweatshirt, and running shoes so I know she’s either about to head to the gym or is getting back from it. Sometimes I see her in the morning jogging, and notice her sweat showing through her running outfits.  That means one thing to me: she’s running so she can get in shape, stay healthy, and wants to look great naked. But honestly, the only stamina I’m interested in how long she can eat me out.  She can wear a headband if she wants.

Chainsaw – Her real name is Misty, but she doesn’t go by her birth name anymore since she bought her motorcycle. Her nails are real short, but they’re clean (thank God). She has a leather jacket with a small hole on the sleeve caused by a clumsy ex-boyfriend who dropped his joint after laughing at a knock-knock joke. She has a fresh tattoo on her lower back and brags that only women are allowed to see it. I want to see it. She wears a lot of eye make up and it makes her look rough around the edges. I’m hoping that she’ll let me ride her like a Harley as I hold onto her hair like handlebars.

In writing this blog I mistakenly asked Ryan if he had a wish list and what types of girls he would like to experience with me.  His answer is as follows:

“Probably like, an Eskimo.  If she left her big huge Eskimo coat on somehow, with the hood real snug around her face so all you can see is her nose, part of her eyes, and her frostbitten red cheeks.  Also, if she could manage to keep a real snow flake on the tip of her nose during the entire experience, that would be really cool.”

Um, wtf?  Anyway, I won’t be asking him that question again.

July 14, 2014

The Wild Wild Web – I Went Fishing And Ended Up in a Porn.

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I’ve decided to add yet another new category to our blog called, “The Wild Wild Web.”  Not that this category will be busy with new stuff, but I just need a place for some of these stories I read from different websites.

The story below is from a fight fan forum (boxing, muay thai, bjj) I lurk where everyday members say random things or post different stories that happen in their daily lives.  Although they are all fight fans, sometimes things get a bit random.  This is a story I recently read that made me literally spit out my drink while reading it.  I found it hilarious so I wanted to share on our blog.

John writes:

True story, this happened not two hours ago.

I left work early to hunt the wild gorillafish in a park by my house. I was out on a rocky pier happily casting away like Huckleberry Finn when I see this dark skinned girl with big tits walking out toward me with this creepy old white guy with long grey hair. He was taking lots of pictures of her, etc.

I immediately theorized that it was either a porn thing, or she thinks she’s a model so she’s letting her drug hook-up take pictures of her, whatever. Then I hear them talking and she comes up to me and asks if she can try a cast (I don’t know if he’s filming at this point, I think he was). I say OK and give her basic instructions, remaining largely impassive. I hate people, and women especially, and wait for her to do her thing but they won’t leave. They sit on a rock behind me and start making out.

So I head back toward land maybe 30 feet, and as I look back through a tree that now stands between us I see the unmistakable head bob as this guy films her sucking him off.

Closed up my tacklebox and left. I have no idea if it was just some (strange) couple filming themselves fucking or if it was a porn thing, but I think I’ve just become a pioneer in the “disinterested fisherman” cuckolding sub-genre, where a hot girl sucks a hideous guy’s dick while a white male fishes a few feet away.

I hate people, they’re disgusting.

Anyways, I’m off the porn these days, but if any of you guys in your hours of daily porn viewing come across this video, know that you’re whackin’ it with the help of john the angry fisherman.