My wife is a very strong “type A” personality and I am sure in large part this is due to her career where she is an executive only two steps below the CEO. She is a woman in an industry that is 95% plus male and has to be even tougher and type A due to her gender.
At any rate we have been married 15 years and have 2 kids. We are both in our early 40s and have a pretty good marriage with what most would consider a good sex life. Nothing crazy but good and mostly satisfying for both of us.
As with most marriages I would imagine our sex life “evolves” somewhat from time to time (again nothing crazy). I recently have discovered that she likes to be dominated. She loved being “manhandled” and kind of forced into doing things. I surmise that this is due to some sort of psychological thing that allows her to deviate from her normal type A personality. Instead of being in charge and calling the shots….someone else is (me!). She LOVED the Fifty Shades of Grey books which again are a deviation (from the womans point of view) from her normal personality. I have kind of known this for years but like I said we never “evolved” into domineering situations before now. So now I am really taking the lead (when the time is appropriate) and kind of dominating her.
We are both looking forward to the Fifty Shades movie and I will now be reading the book. In the meantime we were talking the other night about purchasing some Fifty Shades novelty type items for us to try out. This would definitely be an evolution in our sex life as we will likely be getting arm and leg restraints, a paddle, a blindfold. I might get some nipple clamps as well (something we have never done..but she loves nipple stimulation). Then she said “I don’t want the butt plug though”.
Having not read the books I didn’t know about the inclusion of a butt plug in the story. Now..She up until this point in our relationship has maintained that she has no interest in anything anal related. A few years ago I manually rubbed her anus during sex when she was on top and she absolutely got off on it (she orgasmed within seconds of my doing it) but that notwithstanding she denied that she liked it. And denied interest. So I really haven’t tried anything anal related since. But after she mentioned the “no butt plug” thing I asked her about it. When I mentioned that many women really enjoy them for some reason…they must have some sexual value. She agreed with that point and we both admitted that we really didn’t know what they did to enhance sex. So I did some reading today and discovered that the purpose behind butt plugs (for women) is after insertion (slowly) is to kind of just fill a woman up. Due to the butt plug being inserted the vagina is made tighter which of course increases everyones pleasure during sex. Supposedly the womans contractions and spasms leading up to and during orgasm activate nerve endings in the anus/rectum and seriously enhance pleasure.
Is it a worthwhile and pleasurable item to add to our lovemaking?
My wife seemed to open up to the idea a little bit after I told her what I read but I think a maybe a testimonials from a real women might help her in her butt plug usage decision process. I would LOVE to try this as I am more adventurous sexually but of course if she isn’t going to enjoy it there is no point. The idea of her tied up, blindfolded, nipple clamps on, and a butt plug inserted sounds like it would be tremendous fun.
Do you or your readers have any feedback about your experiences that may help? Thanks.
Continue Reading Q&A: Fifty Shades of Grey and A Butt Plug Question
After I looked up a word on my dictionary.com app, it redirected me to a commercial for I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter. Even if you don’t use this brand of butter, which I do not, you still know what this is. To me, I know it for cheesy commercials with male 80s/90s model Fabio. The name itself is a joke, so having Fabio as a spokesperson for them is simply genius. But now, it looks like ICBINB has changed its tune and is forcing its consumers to take them more seriously. Apparently, they’ve got a new simplified recipe with no preservatives and containing the “good fats” etc. etc. etc. That’s not the point. The new commercial does not have a long-haired Italian blonde man with an accent so thick it’s comical. Instead, it has a new revamped version of a dark-haired, bearded muscular American chef who looks like Kahl Drogo from “The Game of Thrones.” Within seconds of the new ad, ICBINB is taking a more serious, seductive stance with their new campaign. Let me break down the 30-second pornmmercial.
The two places I never expected to see our blog, the nerve.com and refinery29.com. These great online magazines do not really focus on sex or sex blogs, but they do write articles every now and then that have sex related topics. Both of them have published our interview that we originally did with Nerve.com. The exposure they have given our blog to new eyes has been extremely appreciated. Thanks again you guys!
Hello Venice and Ryan. Me and my husband have been married for 6 years and probably have sex maybe once or twice a week. Not that I do not want it more, but he just works so much and is always tired when he gets home. We have a 2 year old daughter that I stay home and take care of. Our relationship is good, except I just have a higher sex drive than him and even when he isn’t around I think about sex constantly. I feel like I am an exhibitionist at heart, while my husband is extremely conservative. When we do have sex, it’s usually missionary. With all that being said, I have noticed online that women can model on webcam while at home, get off to other men watching them, without ever giving out your personal information. This is something I would love to do but I am unsure if I should do it without him knowing it, or maybe convince him that I would like to try it. I want to be open with him but I just don’t think he would let me. It turns me off so much thinking I am his possession and he can forbid me to do something that I really want to try. I don’t want to be controlled and feel it will lead to resentment. Any advice?
A few Saturdays ago, Ryan was invited to watch UFC 182, Jon Jones v. Daniel Cormier, at his friend’s house. Because of a prior commitment with our little ones, I wasn’t able to go. This was a very highly anticipated fight for Ryan, so I told him to go and to call me if he got bored or if he wanted to say hi. The preliminary fights started at 7:00 p.m. and the house was an hour away. He was bringing drinks, so he knew he had to leave about 5:30 so that he can stop by the liquor store and get provisions.