Naughty Selfies – Ugly Ass Panties

Naughty Selfies – Sexy Ass, Ugly Panties

Sometimes you hit and miss.  This time, we missed!  I found a Victoria Secret bag while cleaning up my closet.  To my surprise, it had 5 brand new pairs of panties in it.  What’s even more funny, it must have been around the time I thought thongs were cute, because two of them were thongs. Unsure of when I bought them, but it had to be about 4 or 5 years ago.  Although not as pretty as I remember, they make for a great blog title!  Because these are some ugly ass panties.

The obligatory spiel about this section and our goal:  I’ll try to keep these selfies limited to new outfits, panties, and ideas, rather than the exact same poses and panties every day. Thankfully, I do change my panties! Unfortunately, until I learn how to stretch and morph my body into alien-like positions,  I am a bit limited at what I can do with my camera! Either way, hopefully you guys have a great week and enjoy another edition of our naughty selfies.    

Dear Naughty Selfie Diary: Victoria should have kept her secret!

Every pair of panties has a story.  Here is mine:

The first thing my husband said when he saw these:

Oh my…

 

But it wasn’t a good “Oh my…”  It was more of a, “So abstract art on your crotch is a thing now?” type of ‘Oh my.’

But it doesn’t matter what he says.  Because the best part about these ugly panties was I knew my husband would be in them the next day himself.  Not to tease him, but it’s fun knowing he will also have to wear these ugly things the day after I have used them up.

Now, let’s put the ass in these ugly ass panties!

The way he stretches the fabric makes the design looks like a QBert video game melted on his hips!

 

 

 

 

 

 


You can buy these ugly ass used panties if you like.  Click here to find out size and your special request!  Want to see some other designs?  You can check out all my naughty selfies here!

Dating Tips – Are you DTF? If So, Let Him Know

Dating Tips – Are you DTF?  If so, let him know.

There are times we see men and know immediately if we want to fuck them, friend them, or possibly get into a relationship with them.  For instance, we may see a handsome tanned muscular man who is much younger than us, but obviously still be attracted to him.  We already know that this relationship wouldn’t work, but he could still be fun.  With your own preferences in mind, you already know in advance a relationship probably wouldn’t work.  That doesn’t change the fact that he may still pursue you.  If he asked you on a date would you want to waste time and pretend there is a possible connection or cut to the chase and let him know what you’d like out of a date with him?   DTF (down to fuck).

Maybe you don’t have to be so brash and outright say it, but you can communicate your interests and what you want out of a date ahead of time.  Usually women are reserved and are expected to never want sex.  While on the other hand, men are down to fuck at the drop of a hat.  No secret.  No mystery.  No shame.  They are DTF and proud.  So why aren’t we?

It really is that simple.  And it’s totally up to you.   I have listed a few things you can do to ensure you have a great experience on a date when your goal is to enjoy a sexual experience and move on.

dtf1. Let him know in advance you are DTF.  

Obviously you can revoke consent at any time up to and during sex, but giving him the all-clear ahead of time is a good way to get both of your juices flowing.  What is the all-clear?   Let him know you are down to fuck (DTF).  Some of you are reading this like, “Oh my golly geez gosh, no way!”  Why the heck are you reading a sex blog then?  We like sex.  

Although this may be a bit tricky if you are going on a date with a coworker or someone you know from church, but if you are meeting someone through a hook up app, then the term DTF isn’t all that unfamiliar. 

If he knows before the game even starts that he will be holding up a trophy afterwards and yelling out, “Mom, I’m going to Disneyland,” sex will be much better.  He will also be more hands on during the date and give you an entire different type of attention.  Just because you are going on a date, doesn’t always mean you have to look for Mr. Right.  Sometimes you just want to be selfish and enjoy a good romping.  Him knowing this is what you are after will put him in a whole different mindset.  It will also show you what type of man he really is without all the smoke and mirrors.  No games, no guessing if he gets you home will he make a move, and no change of personalities as soon as the doors close.  And if he acts a bit creepy, you can always let him know, NVMINDTFAM (never mind I’m not down to fuck any more).  

I just made that one up.  

It happens.  Him removing the “perfect gentlemen filter” may give you all the signs you need to cut a date short and end the night with yourself.

2. Knowing the end game means you can prepare better and talk about the rules. 

No last second talks about condoms (or lack thereof).   Depending on what you want, you can talk about using protection, what you would like to do, and what is off limits.  Letting your date know up front your intentions takes away all the last second scrambling and possible miscommunication and mistakes out of the picture.  Although it may not be perfect, it will be much better than talking about using protection while he has already came inside you and is reaching for your cigarettes.  

3. Public Syntribation.

Since you both know the end game, and he is trying to win the Super Bowl, why not throw in a few trick plays and options into your the old playbook.  

Here is an option that can’t miss:

Syntribation [sin-tri-bey-shuh n]  Of a female, to masturbate by crossing the legs and rubbing her thighs together.  

Whether he knows or not, you can get your juices flowing throughout the entire date.  If he knows, it may drive him wild.  If he doesn’t know, it really doesn’t matter, because if you know how to syntribate properly, you are one step ahead of the curve.

4. Your vagina will be clean and ready.  

So let’s imagine an actual scenario where you do not tell him up front your intentions.  You go back to your place and you are unsure exactly what either of you want.  No planning.  No idea if how far it will go.  No comunication.  Maybe he doesn’t want to have sex.  Maybe he does.  So you feel him out and maybe kiss a bit.  He reaches down to feel up your dress and you are unsure if being wet all night has left you too sticky.  You don’t want want to ruin the moment and stop his hand, so you let his fingers slide inside your panties.  He then proceeds to slowly move his head down your chest and into your lap.  The next thing you your legs are up on his shoulders and he is face deep inside of your vagina with his nose and tongue.

Uh oh.

Did you sweat too much during the date?  I mean, you did have your thighs rubbing together all night while you helped yourself to a bit of syntribation.  But did you get too wet and leave your panties and vagina too moist?  Is he ready for that?  You know you aren’t gross, but you could have been so much more fresh if you had a chance to prepare or run to the bathroom as soon as you got home.  And the same goes for him.  What’s worse than warm chest nuts over a roasting… mouth?

When you both know you are down to fuck, you both can make sure to excuse yourself and go to the bathroom and tidy up.  In fact, you both can outright take a shower together if you wanted.  

5.  Take a shower together.

Why not?  You are going to get busy soon and share all your naughty bits anyway.  If you are too nervous to shower in front of him but totally okay with him throwing your legs on your shoulders and studying your vagina while he pounds it, this may not be the blog for you.  Girl, give yourself the opportunity to study him too.  His body.  His dick.  What better way to feel him up and see his body during all states of arousal.

And the biggest advantage is, when you are both showered and clean, you will be able to totally relax and enjoy each other thoroughly.  That alone will make your date, your sex, and your aftercare (worrying the next day if he / she was clean) so much better.  

There are many reasons why communicating your intentions help with all sorts of situations in your life, but they will definitely make first time sex with a date much better.  And telling someone you want to fuck may have a stigma attached to it, but so does everything you do in life with sex attached to it.   Do what makes you happy and enjoy yourself.


This post is sponsored by Fuckbooks.com.  Fuckbook dating app is the best local adult hookup site online.  If you can’t get laid on Fuckbook, you can’t get laid anywhere.  

Naughty Selfies – Make Sure Your Panties Match Your Shoes

Naughty Selfies – Make Sure Your Panties Match Your Shoes

You never know when you are driving home and end up in the back of an ambulance with your pants shredded so they can put a leg splint on you.   You have no control over that.  But you do have control over  making sure your panties match flawlessly with your shoes!  And even though it my coordination was a pure accident they wouldn’t know that.  I’ll just lean back in my oxygen mask and keep faking it until I make it (to the emergency room).  Either way, today I am ready for anything.

The obligatory spiel about this section and our goal:  I’ll try to keep these selfies limited to new outfits, panties, and ideas, rather than the exact same poses and panties every day. Thankfully, I do change my panties! Unfortunately, until I learn how to stretch and morph my body into alien-like positions,  I am a bit limited at what I can do with my camera! Either way, hopefully you guys have a great week and enjoy another edition of our naughty selfies.    

Dear Naughty Selfie Diary: Coordinate

And here is a quick shot of the back side for those that don’t care about the shoes.   

No culture having….

I am texting a few of these selfies to my husband and letting him know he better match me tomorrow

Here is his response:

Dang, super cute.
Your shoes match your panties!
 

 

Now let’s wait and see what he comes up with tomorrow.  Maybe he will spill a bit of milk on his shirt to match the stains I left on my panties?  LOL

Checkmate girl.  The hat matches panties…

 

So he sent me that message showing off that his hat matches my panties.  Smh.  How is he going to get all cocky and text me checkmate when he is taking a selfie wearing my dirty ass panties from the day before.   Checkmate my ass.  Plus, I didn’t realize this was a competition.   

Men.


You can check out all my naughty selfies here.

Dirty Talk: Exploring Bisexuality With My Childhood Best Friend

Exploring Bisexuality With My Childhood Best Friend

The Dirty Talk Intro & Disclaimer:  Everything in the story below is random and created on the spot while massaging and giving a handjob to my husband.  No filters, no rules, no boundaries; just a story and situation created to help my husband orgasm and enjoy our experience together.  We do this for intimacy and find handjobs less destructive on our bodies than having sex daily (our bodies just can’t handle penetrative sex each day).   All dirty talk is usually pure fantasy.  I use this dirty talk as a form of mental porn for my husband while he is in a vulnerable state due to being touched and massaged.  Sexual intimacy can also help reduce feelings of anxiety and depression as it triggers the release of three mood-boosting chemicals — dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin.  I usually also get really wet because my own naughty thoughts push my own personal boundaries and really turn me on.  This is why it’s so fun.  Unlike giving a blowjob or going through the theatrics of sex, you both connect thoughts together and create sexual stories in the heat of the moment.  He trusts me and we both love this natural vulnerability.  I can almost get inside his head and control his fantasies, dirty thoughts, and talk him into an orgasm in the exact moment my story hits it’s climax.  During my stories he will ask me questions while I talk.  I will include these to the best of my memory.  In fact, every story is to the best of my memory, as I do not know remember all the exact details.   

Exploring Bisexuality With My Childhood Best Friend

I was a bit hesitant with this story as some things are hard for me to open up to.  My husband could sense that this fantasy wasn’t something I was more reserved about, simply because I had never done anything with my childhood friends.  I do get why it’s kinky, but I also get a bit jealous because I am sharing intimate details about my idea of their bodies.   If that makes sense.


Do you want me to talk about having a sleep over with my friend?

Yea, what friend?

Stella.

How old are you?

I am 16.

How old is she?

17.

Are you going over to her house?

No, she is going to stay with me for the night.

What are you wearing?

I am wearing sweats and a loose tank top.  

Are you wearing bra?  

No.

Are you wearing panties?

Yes, a thong.

Stella comes over and knocks on the door.  

How does she look?

Pretty.  She always looks pretty.

What is she wearing?

Baggy sweats and a t-shirt.

Is she wearing a bra?

No, we never wear bras when we have sleepovers.

Can you see her nipples poking through her shirt?

Yes, her nipples are perky and I can see the outline of them through her shirt.

How big are her breasts?

Me and her probably have the same size breasts.

Does she smell good?

She smells amazing.  She always smells good and looks pretty.  Sometimes she wears too much make up but today she doesn’t have very much on. 

We rented a scary movie and decided to watch it up in my bedroom.  We are both sitting on my bed side by side.

Do you and your friends sleep in the same bed when they sleep over?

Yes, me and my friends always sleep in the same bed during sleepovers.

So we are upstairs sitting with our backs against the pillows on the bed.  The movie is scary, so we are sitting kind of close.

Are your parents home?

My parents are gone for the night so it’s just us.  That’s why the movie is extra scary.  We do not have any adults around us.

I lean my head on her shoulder and she smells amazing.  Not sure why, but I slowly slide my head down her shoulder to her chest, and can feel her breasts rubbing on the side of my face.  

I wait to see if she makes a sound or pushes me away, but she doesn’t.  I reach up and wrap my hand around her stomach and up her ribs.  She leans her head back and closes her eyes.

Have you ever talked to her before about being bisexual or liking girls?

No, never.  We are both virgins and have never had any conversations about sex or our sexuality.

I slide my hand inside her shirt.  I move slow because I am still nervous she is going to stop me.  Neither of us have done this before.

She doesn’t stop me so I slide my hand further up and grab her breasts.  I can feel her nipples hard and her skin feels so soft.

Do you kiss her?

No, not yet.  I don’t want to kiss her.  I just want to feel her breasts.


I can feel my husband’s dick get hard and soft throughout our conversation.  Some things turn him on, but some things just peak his interest so he loses his erection.  I try my hardest to keep us focused on the sexy.


I want to see her breasts so I lift up her shirt and look at them for the first time.  They look amazing.  Young and perky.  They are about the same size as mine except her nipples are smaller.

About what size?

About the size of a half dollar.

I put them in my mouth.  I just want to suck on her breasts.  She puts her head back and moans.   She loves me sucking on her breasts.

I am a bit more curious and want to feel between her legs.  I start moving my hand down her stomach and reach inside her sweats.  She has on panties so I slide my hand under them as well.  She is so hairy.  She has a huge bush and has probably never shaved before.  It feels so amazing.  I slide my hand lower so I can feel the wetness between her legs.  

Continue Reading Dirty Talk: Exploring Bisexuality With My Childhood Best Friend

Naughty Selfies – Be My Valentines

be my valentines day pantiesNaughty Selfies – Be My Valentines

It’s Valentine’s Day so let’s celebrate with my valentine’s day panties.  They will leave your heart warm!

The obligatory spiel about this section and our goal:  I’ll try to keep these selfies limited to new outfits, panties, and ideas, rather than the exact same poses and panties every day. Thankfully, I do change my panties! Unfortunately, until I learn how to stretch and morph my body into alien-like positions,  I am a bit limited at what I can do with my camera! Either way, hopefully you guys have a great week and enjoy another edition of our naughty selfies.    

Dear Naughty Selfie Diary: Valentine’s Day Panties

valentines day panties

 

valentines day assAs always, I ran to the bathroom during my work day, which thankfully is Friday!  Not only Friday, but Valentine’s Day.  I took a few selfies with my Valentine panties and sent them to my husband.  I posted a few on my social media, and now I am adding them to our blog.  So much work to take these dang selfies!  Not much else to say, hopefully all the couples that read our blog, gay, straight, or bi, enjoy our Valentine selfies.  Have a great weekend!   Don’t be too naughty.

 

valentines day pantiesThe following day, my husband was wearing my used panties and ran to the bathroom before we checked out to take a quick selfie for the blog.  Nothing like celebrating Valentine’s day twice in one weekend.   lol!

I think he looks great!

 

 

 

 

 

 


You can check out all my naughty selfies here!