Each week we will post our most outrageous search terms that people used to find our website that week. Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.
Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real search terms. Each search term was used by some person in the world that ended up on our page.
10. super deepthroat / megadildo deepthroat
Ryan: Sounds exciting.
Venice: Sounds like an amazing se-XMen movie.
Ryan: The Return of Magneto and Mandingo
Venice: se-Xmen Origins: Polverine.
Ryan: …
Venice: Professor seX and PipeCrawler
Ryan: I’m done.
Venice: The Colossus and Longshot
Ryan: Done?
Venice: Cyclops and Cumfire Released
Venice: The Beast and Cockheed Do Dallas
Ryan: Seriously, I only know Magneto and Wolverine. Mine are all used up.
Venice: Marvel Girl’s Rising Phoenix
Ryan: Nerd.
Venice: Hayyyterrr.
9. i lost a bet and sucked another mans cock
Venice: I have to wonder if this type of bet is contractually binding?
Ryan: Well, it is an oral agreement.
Venice: I see what you did there.
Ryan: Depending on his size, it could have been a pinky promise.
Venice: Just stop…
Ryan: What? The guy lost a bet so he needs to suck it up and pay the piper.
Venice: I just think this is one of those bets a guy should welch on.
Ryan: Listen, all we have is our balls and our word…
Venice: …and apparently another man’s balls in your mouth.
Ryan: Oh god. If a man says he is going to mow your grass, well damnit, he better not let the weeds grow.
Venice: If I was a man and I found out the weeds squirted sperm in my face, your yard would be a damn forest.
8. pics of women who will swallow my cum
Venice: Is he looking for pictures of women that would possibly swallow his cum?
Ryan: Hmmm, kind of like a classified ad.
Venice: “Wanted: Woman who will swallow my cum. Must be a woman. Must have a mouth. Please send selfie shots to willyouswallowmycum19283@hotmail.com”
7. my husband wants to let our baby suck his dick
Ryan: Not cool at all.
Venice: What the fuck.
6. what women think of anal cum shits
Venice: Truly a question for the ages.
Ryan: Listen, I’m still not over the last one. Like, seriously, why put the baby term on the list and then follow up with cum shits?
Venice: You’re welcome.
5. lol dildo swallowed
Venice: I don’t see what’s so funny.
Ryan: All your lulz are belong to us.
Venice: Really Ryan?
Ryan: What? The person thinks it’s funny to swallow dildos. Nothing wrong with that.
Venice: Okay Mr. Funny Guy, how about you make me laugh.
Ryan: …
4. biggest dick ever been deepthroated
Venice: I’m flattered this person was led to us
Ryan: You’re flattered? So am I, unfortunately he was extremely let down.
Venice: Ha! Stop.
Ryan: Not laughing.
Venice: All your lulz are not belong to us!?
3. i let him see my vagnia
Venice: Since when did we become a confession booth?
Ryan: I don’t think God has any problem with vagnias.
Venice: We should Urban Dictionary some of these terms we get.
Ryan: Well, what exactly does vagnia mean to you V?
Venice: Vag-ni-a (noun): A 6th sense found in females that gives them power to control a male
Ryan: Oh that term is already in Urban Dictionary. It’s called Pussy Whipped.
2. will my wife enjoy wearing a butt plug during sex
Venice: What the hell. Why don’t you ask her?
Ryan: Actually, I googled that term and clicked our site to see if you would answer it on Freaky Friday.
Venice: I hope you are fucking kidding me.
Ryan: Well?
Venice: Well what?
Ryan: Will my wife enjoy wearing a butt plug during sex?
Venice: Done.
Ryan: This is my new form of communication. Google terms and somehow have it lead back to our page so you can answer my questions.
Venice: So smartie, how well did that whole, ‘get an answer’ thing work out for you?
Ryan: Well, give me a chance to perfect this communication technique.
Venice: Done.
1. if i swallow my own sperm from masterbating will i get a disease
Ryan: This depends on what exactly you do prior to swallowing your sperm. Let’s say you sperm into a nice cold bottle of delicious syphilis on a hot day, it may be possible.
Venice: I like the way you make that bottle of mountain brewed syphilis delight almost sound wonderful.
Ryan: Well, it did make me thirsty…
Venice: Do you want me to give you a minute alone in the bathroom or something?
Ryan: Hmph.
Bonus: dustins nipple
Ryan: Winner.


We have decided to add erotic photography of us to our blog each Wednesday, now known as Snapshot Wednesday. These won’t be low quality candids or shots taken from our cell phones, these will be photographs we love from our own little photo shoots. Hopefully these pictures will come out more like tasteful erotic art rather than amateur pornography. We will update the gallery each week with a new photo to share with our blog followers. We have also decided to add a Kinky Thursday, where I will answer different questions about sex, and Freaky Friday, where we will list off the top 10 freakiest search terms used to find our website that week.
Thanks to Bobbie Morgan of