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June 14, 2013

Dirty Talk – Breakfast In Bed

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breakfast in bedEvery morning Venice wakes me up kissing my neck, under my arms, down my stomach, until eventually she is between my legs playing with my genitals.  Usually this routine ends with her sucking on my balls and dick, maybe a few minutes of fucking, including anal, but never an orgasm.  This is something we practice called “our circle,” and it’s purely for intimacy.   It’s not just a blog topic, it’s really our daily routine.  It may sound weird, but if I know that night Venice will want and expect more intimate time with me, there is no real urgency to orgasm every time I get an erection and am intimate with my wife.  I enjoy waking up with her saliva or vaginal juices  on my penis, semi-hard, and still horny because I didn’t cum.   It’s definitely waking up on the right side of the bed.  This “circle” seems to keep her on my mind all day and makes me much more attentive to her.  Whether that’s right or wrong, it works.

This morning, Venice was in a great mood and extra perky.  This means she hops on me like Tigger from Pooh, and nibbles on the side of my face and neck.  She grabs my arm and lifts it over my head, semi bites my pierced nipple and quickly moves her face under my arms.  As she kisses my underarm area, my penis almost immediately gets erect, no matter how tired I am.  If a guy has a g-spot, this is probably mine.  Venice slowly works her way over to my other nipple and underarm, kissing me across my chest on the way there.  Maybe it’s her good mood that gets my juices flowing or maybe it’s the fact it’s Friday, but before she got down to my dick, I already know I want to fuck her.   This means, I want to cum.  When I say in the morning we usually are intimate with no orgasms, I mean it.  Maybe once or twice a month we have these moments (usually a Friday) where things get a little too hot or heavy, but the goal with our “circle” is to not reach that point, especially on a work day.  Luckily, this was a Friday!

As she plays with my dick and balls, rubbing and massaging, putting a single ball in her mouth and slowly sucking, or just taking my whole dick and shoving it down her throat.  Sometimes it feels as though she is like a kitten.  My genitals become her yarn as she paws my crotch.  Her moans are almost purr-like.  She nuzzles herself in my crotch, rubbing my dick and balls against her face.   I was rock hard.

I look down and ask, “Do you want  breakfast in bed?” 

She immediately responded, “Yes.”  

I then sat up and rolled her over, putting her face near the top of the bed.  She leaned her head back as I positioned my hips over her face.  I let my hard dick dangle above her, rubbing her nose and forehead, as I wrap my arms around her knees and legs.   I slowly drop my hard dick down into her throat, while at the same time burying my own face in her vagina.   We both already know that the goal is to feed her my sperm.   The term “breakfast in bed” has its own meaning in our world, as it took life a few months ago and became a part of our sex language/dirty talk.  I dig my hips low over her face until I can feel my dick pass through her tight throat, down her neck.  I also feel my balls press hard against her nose, pushing them back and up into my own ass cheeks.  I love this feeling.  The tip of my dick, the most sensitive part of my penis, can feel the textures deep in her throat.  I will never be able to explain this feeling properly, but you can almost feel the area of the throat where it seperates the throat passages, lung/stomach.   It rubs and tickles the head of my penis as my shaft moves back and forth inside her. 

The morning talk is loud and dirty as I grind my dick into her face.  “You want me to give you breakfast in bed?”  She can’t still can’t breath, mouth full of my cock.

Until I pull out and hang my dick above her face, she can’t get air.  This means, as soon as I lift my cock out of her, she gasps and breaths as loud as she can.  She is unable to respond to dirty talk until after she catches her breath.  “Give my fucking breakfast!” she screams.   “I want my morning protein.”  My dick hangs half way over her face while she talks and gets ready for more.  It’s dripping my precum and her  own saliva back all over her face as I wait to fuck her more.  She loves every second of it, as this is probably her favorite way to make me cum.  Admittedly, it’s not my favorite, but nothing makes me cum as fast orally as this technique.  And when I do cum, it’s more of a sex (intercourse) orgasm rather than a blow job orgasm (for me, there is a huge difference — later blog). 

After a few minutes of this back and forth, in and out, I unload deep inside her throat.  I bury my hips hard on her face as I thrust, exactly how I would fuck her vagina or ass, digging as deep as I can until I feel my shaft completely empty of fluid.  

Sometimes it’s worth it to be late to work.

When I started this blog, I actually wanted to talk about dirty talk and the language of sex.  After the first paragraph it seemed boring and I ran out of things to say.  Instead, I wrote about my morning.  However, the original topic was “breakfast in bed” and how Venice and I use it.  We both know what it really means, and we are both turned on by it.    Is it the double meaning that turns us on, or just that we call my sperm her breakfast, as if she needed my cum to survive.   Now, anytime she is giving me oral sex in the morning, our dirty talk almost revolves around that term.  It means to finish, to feed, to be intimate in the morning, and that I am taking care of her needs.   I dumb thought like breakfast in bed during oral sex, turned into a dumb thought while I was taking a shower after I came inside her throat this morning, turned into a dumb blog with an extremely sexy story.   I’m okay with that.

May 30, 2013

Midnight Snack

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Midnight snack
Midnight snack

I squeeze Venice in my arms as tight as I can, my forearms under her underarms with my hands cupping her shoulders from underneath.  My face is buried in her neck and I can only see her hair and smell her lotion.  My back arches upwards as I grind my hips as deep as I can between her thighs.  She wraps her arms around me head and holds my close to her. It almost feels motherly, because I feel completely safe in her arms, even though I am near my most vulnerable moment.  I feel so safe I just want to climb back inside her, so I dig as deep as I can, trying to put my penis in her womb.  I feel the pain of an orgasm building and I squeeze my muscles so hard my body begins to shake.  My penis is buried so deep inside her vagina I can feel her back walls smashing my head and pushing my shaft back into my own body.  This pressure, the back walls pushing my erect penis back into my prostate, creates a greater orgasm intensity.  The pain hurts.  I slam my dick as hard as I can, hurting us both the entire time, just to get our bodies as conjoined and close as possible while I release inside her.   I shoot everything I have stored in my testicles and listen to her moan as she feels the thrusting of my hips slamming against her crotch.  This deep hard pumping motion is also what Venice physically enjoys the most.  It makes her cervix twitch and triggers her own orgasm.  She has said to me that she is unsure what really triggers her penetration climaxes, but she notices that after my first release of semen,  her body, specifically her cervix,  starts twitching almost immediately.  She has suggested that it could possibly be from the chemicals in my semen.  I have no idea, but I do know anything happening is nature and our instincts making conception as pleasurable as possible, for both of us.  I’ve heard a woman’s cervix dips into the pool of sperm left inside her while she orgasms, if she gets hers after his.  I wouldn’t be surprised if the chemicals in sperm create this reaction, as it helps with conception, but I’d assume it also is a mental thing, knowing she just made a grown man turn to mush in her arms simply by letting him feel and explore her special little hole she kept hidden from everyone her whole life.  That’s got to be a powerful feeling for a woman.

As I lay on her chest for a moment and listen to her heartbeat, I can still feel her vagina walls convulsing and tightening around my dick.  Her eyes stayed closed and she is bitting her lips.   I tried to whisper something in her ear and she immediately said, “shhhhh.”  Her “penetration orgasms” can last up to a minute after I stop moving, so I will lay on top of her with my softening dick inside her until she is through.  Although not as intense as her “clitorial orgasms”, she seems almost numbed and out of consciousness for a longer period of time.  She will not respond or talk, just move her hips slow and tighten around my dick until her body is done spasming.   

The smell of her lotion has changed a bit because of the heat of her body.  Everything feels perfect.  I get up and kiss her forehead and tell her how good she felt.  We both confirm that we enjoyed the moment.  It’s always special when both of your bodies our on the same page and you orgasm in unison.  I get off of her and slowly let my penis slide out of her body.  She immediately closes her legs to keep all of my semen inside her.  I head to the shower while she lays in bed keeping her eyes closed.  I notice that she has slid her hand down over her pussy and is slowly circling her clit with her fingers.  Her cool down.  Venice enjoys the idea of her body absorbing my semen, and has acknowledged that she does feel the affect of the hormones and mood altering chemicals the longer she keeps my full load trapped inside her  (some people have a hard time grasping this concept — she doesn’t).  

As I finish my shower, Venice strolls in behind me holding her fingers up to her pussy lips so my semen doesn’t drip all over the place.   I step out of the shower and she slaps my ass jokingly saying she loves my “juicy booty.”   Her mood after sex is always positive and upbeat.  I dry off and lay down in bed nude as she hops in the shower and washes off.   After she is done with the shower she walks past the bed and lifts the covers.  She glances at my butt or package or whatever she sees and makes a teasing, “ohhhhhhhhhhewwww” sound.  I pretend to not care but I love how playful she gets after sex.  She sits down at the computer desk and begins to work on a blog.  At this point, I am extremely tired and pass out.

I wake up panicked because I feel this weird sensation in my stomach.  I had probably  been asleep for an hour or two, so it was a deep sleep you normally do not wake up from.  Immediately I can feel my legs, feet, and chest exposed to the air because my cover and sheet is completely off me.  I was sleeping nude, so I didn’t feel anything removed or tugged on.  I look down and see Venice laying her head on my legs sucking my dick, which for whatever reason, gave me a butterfly sensation in my stomach.  I wasn’t hard, so she was sucking my flaccid dick with her head sidesways in my lap.  I’ve never really sat back and thought what it would feel like to have my penis in a girls mouth while I was totally unconscious or not wanting that sensation.  It feels weird.  To explain it better for those who can’t imagine this experience, think about someone nicely tickling your back as you fall asleep.   It would feel great and relaxing.  However, if you woke up and someone was tickling your back, it would almost freak you out.  Your mind has to grasp what is going on for you to really enjoy these things.  Getting my dick sucked was no different.  

What’s funny is, writing this blog reminds me of another time recently when Venice was sucking my dick and stroking me while I had already fallen asleep.  I remember having a partial erection but was so tired I was in and out of consciousness.  Each time I woke up I had this huge urge to just cum everywhere, but I’d fall back to sleep and dream about my penis feeling extremely oversized and hard.   Eventually, I believe I came and she swallowed or cleaned everything, but honestly I am unsure exactly what happen.   I had an orgasm sleeping, but only Venice knows how it looked or took place.  It seems scary  like sneezing with your eyes open, but I do wonder if I moaned or made an “o” face in my sleep.  A few times after this incident I’ve joked publicly about being taken advantage of, but joke or no joke,  it is definitely possible.   Venice has managed to make me orgasm while I was sleeping. 

Oops, I jumped off track a bit. 

Anyway, I woke up and Venice is sucking my dick.  Her body is faced up and she is laying her head in my lap.  Her face is sideways with my flaccid dick in her mouth, sucking.  I also hear this buzzing sound and look over to see both her legs spread and her massager between her thighs.  Venice has told me she enjoys her orgasms more if she has my penis in her mouth.  I do not know if its a comfort thing, or it just turns her on to feel my penis in her mouth and throat while she cums, but she woke me up just to suck on my dick while she played with herself (not the first time we have done this, as a lot of times when we face fuck, she will use her massager and cum while  my whole dick is going in and out of her throat — which she has blogged about loving to cum while she can’t breath — deep throating).  I assume, had I not just had sex before I fell asleep I would have woke up and participated a bit more, but that didn’t happen.  I fell back asleep and woke up to her screaming with my dick almost vibrating in her mouth as she came.  She shoved her face onto my crotch to get all of my dick in her mouth and throat, and yelled as she came, except she can’t yell.  My dick just vibrated.  I felt this huge jolt but only hear a muffled gasp.  A very intense gasp, but muffled.

I am immediately excited and feel myself growing in her mouth.  She had different plans.  She turned her toy off, threw the covers back on me and rolled over.  Within a minute she was asleep.  That’s it.  I wish I had more to tell you about this story, but that is it.  I’d say it was anticlimactic, but for Venice, it wasn’t.  For you as the reader, and me, it was. 

I love her.

May 14, 2013

Face Fucking Until I Vomit

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FACE FUCKING:  Aggressive deepthroat fellatio (see previous article:  Face Fucking)

IRRUMATION:  The act of thrusting of the penis between the legs, breasts, feet, upper thighs (also known as interfemoral sex), mouth and throat, or between the abdomens of two partners. In the ancient Roman sexual vocabulary, irrumatio is strictly a form of os impurum, oral sex, in which a man forces his penis into someone else’s mouth, almost always that of another man.

These are both good definitions, but I will lean toward the second definition as I believe face fucking connotes a very forceful and passionate sexual act.

I’ve seen many amateur face fucking videos of all types: some where a girl is on her knees and takes no more than two inches in her mouth, another where she’s sitting on a couch and the guy is standing over her, and some where she’s got her head off the edge of the bed or couch.  When the guy holds her head and tries to fuck her face, she fights a little as she cannot take it all in.  It seems like they both enjoy the back and forth struggle.  However, at times the girls will jerk their heads back and give a quick look of “Damn, you asshole!  Don’t do it so rough!”   I know it’s just for show and as soon as the camera turns off, she cringes and complains.  I used to be really judgmental, saying things like, “But she’s not even taking him at least halfway down!”  It seemed that I forgot that I was physically able to only do what those girls did, if not much less. I remember when I could only suck to the bottom of Ryan’s circumcision scar — gagging immediately if I tried to take more.  

I did like the idea of the act – the violence, the aggression, the brute force of a man’s hips slamming his dick into my face and down my throat.  When I first started learning to face fuck, I was uncertain of who I was or what I was allowed to enjoy without being judged by Ryan, so I remember being hesitant in embracing it.  I also remember my first time trying.  I read that this face fucking technique, hanging your head off the bed, made it easier to learn deep throat.  It gave the penis a smoother path down your throat.   I remember Ryan fucking my face, and for the first time in my life, I felt in danger.  It wasn’t Ryan’s intentions, but as he pumped his hips in and out and got harder with each thrust, I no longer had any control.  If I closed my throat like I used to, his erection and sleek penis head would pry open my throat and tongue like a fleshy crowbar, and force its way inside.   The penis was built for this.  It scared me.  I remember feeling him cum with his balls smashed against my face, watching his ass hole pucker up with each cum shot, and feeling his hard dick jerk inside my throat.  Whether I wanted to swallow or not, was no longer an option.  I took his cum forever.

It’s not that I would get mad at Ryan for being the aggressor, because I like that.  It was the fact I lost all control.  As a young woman, I had to feel like I had some sort of control.  Even if it was my enthusiasm, I wanted to make sure Ryan knew I was in control.  With face fucking, there is no control or emotion.  Your face gets used and fucked with very little emotional connection.  As soon as I understood how my body and his body worked (my mind was accepting of face fucking as something I wanted to learn), I could not be stopped.  The more I realized I would drip and even squirt from being face fucked, I knew it was something I secretly desired.  It’s now my favorite position.  In bed, I love this absolutely powerless position.

So as I watched more and more face fucking videos (although normally I didn’t just watch porn when I learned to deep throat, I practically studied clips), I came upon one where a girl had her head hanging off the edge of the bed.  I thought it was going to be a humdrum face fuck, when suddenly her gag reflex kicked in and she threw up all over herself.  And being upside down, it was all over her face, nose, eyes…everywhere!  Chunks of food spewing and coating her face, as if someone threw a melted ice cream sundae with peanuts at her!  I don’t have a vomit fetish and seeing it didn’t give me a new goal, but it was her persistence and lack of fear and shame that I came to appreciate.  I don’t even remember if he came or not, but I know it is probably one of the impressive things I’ve seen anyone do.

Then I wondered how I would react if that ever happened to me.  Through deep throating I’ve learned two things: that I can handle Ryan’s cock and that I can control my gag reflex.

This weekend was different.  Ryan told me that he wanted to face fuck me, but pull out and cum all over my face.  We had fucked multiple times the few days prior but he purposely would stop before he came.  Now I knew why, he wanted to explode all over my face.  Of course I was down for it (see previous article:  31 Days of Cum Shots project).  This could be fun!   Me and Ryan took a few shots of rum to kick off our Friday barbecuing.  This is what we usually do, so my drinking was not threatened by the fact I would be face fucking moments later.  That day, however, was different.  Maybe it was my allergies and and the cold I was fighting because both were terrible that day.  After my fourth shot, I felt a slight burning in my throat, as if the alcohol was stuck in my esophagus.   I washed it down with some Coke and thought nothing more of it. 

As we waited for the steaks to marinate, we slipped into the bedroom and I jumped onto the bed.  I stripped down to nothing and lay on the bed as I waited for Ryan to mount my face. I looked up and over my shoulder as Ryan pulled his dick out and began stroking in front of me.  I wanted to taste him so bad.   I felt the bed shift as he made his way to me.  I eagerly pulled him toward my face and took his large soft dick into my mouth.  His hanging balls rubbed against my nose and face.  He pumped his hips as his cock began to thicken.  It grew slowly, bending slightly in my throat with each motion.  I love the feeling of his growing penis as it morphs from limp to thick to fat to fully erect.  When he’s thick, he forces his body to push his dick down my throat, slightly folding as it enters my tight throat.  The harder he gets, the easier it is to do straight down.  Friday, though, was different.  Ryan was talking dirty and began fucking my throat as hard as he could.  Slamming his cock into the back of my mouth at times, forcing his dick to find any hole to squeeze into.  I gagged a few times, but it wasn’t a big deal because nothing ever comes up.  I never ask him to stop.  In fact, I get upset when he stops and wants to fuck my pussy instead.  That day, he thrust his dick in my mouth, rubbing his sweaty balls and ass on my face each time he pulls out to let me breath.  I love it.

I can feel Ryan is about to explode because his movements got more intense.   He sits up and I put his ball sack in my mouth.  I feel him thumping my chin and chest with his dick telling me he is about to cum all over me.  As he lifts his body up and un-suctions his sack from my lips, he immediately replaces it with his long dick.   I feel his dick bury itself deep in my throat, as deep as it can go.  Within seconds, a gag feeling erupted, one that wasn’t any different from the others.  I ignored it and allowed myself to dry heave normally.  But as soon as Ryan lifted up, I felt a wetness bubbling up from my throat.  Not once did I feel like the contents of my stomach were going to expel unexpectedly because it happened so fast, and before I knew it, I actually threw up!  It wasn’t projectile vomiting but very subtle like a tabletop water fountain.   It wasn’t until I felt a mouth full of stomach acids and liquor actually in my mouth did I realize that there was stuff coming up.  For a split second I thought to myself, “Should I swallow this?”  Instead, I pushed out all the  viscous liquid out with my tongue and let it spill over the corners of my mouth and down my face.  The acids, working immediately, burned into my cheeks, some in my ear, as well as my hair.  As Ryan watched my face covered with vomit, he stroked his dick and shot cum all over me.   He later told me that as he pulled out to cum, he saw me throw up all over myself, then shot all over my wet face.  Obviously holding out for a few days was a complete waste, as I don’t care if he didn’t cum for a year, he wasn’t going to facial me worse than I had just facialed myself.

During any other time in my life I believe I would have been upset – by the mess, by the “disrespect” shown to my body, and maybe even by the embarrassment.  But the idea of being face fucked so hard that I threw up had become a badge of honor, one that meant I persevered and endured humiliation at all costs.  Immediately, Ryan asked if I was okay, hoping I wasn’t upset.  At first I didn’t answer, still shocked about what had happened.   After I washed off and got myself together, I opened the shower door and asked Ryan, “Did that turn you on?”   He nodded that it did, and I knew inside I really liked it as well.   Something the old me would not have enjoyed at all.

As I came out of the bathroom and looked at the bed, needless to say, the bed had two big wet spots (one on each side of my head), which I asked Ryan to cleaned up.

May 6, 2013

My First Orgasm

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How it first looked.
How it first looked.

As a man, is there anything more fulfilling or entertaining than watching you and your partner orgasm?   You see, I added the word “you” in that sentence on purpose.  Truthfully, my original question was, “Is there anything more entertaining than watching yourself orgasm?”  I knew I would get an immediate response of, “Yes, watching my partner orgasm!”  So instead, I changed my question to make it less selfish.

However,  I still want to talk about watching yourself cum.  I can still remember being a teenager and looking down at my young body, skinny with very little hair.  For whatever reason, even after puberty, other than my arms and legs, my body wasn’t hairy.  It felt so erotic seeing my young smooth skin and youthful hands, holding this huge erect veiny man cock.    It’s like my entire body was the absolute image of youth, but my hard penis ready to explode was all man.  I remember squeezing my lower shaft as hard as I could and watching my upper shaft and head get huge with the pressure from the blood being pushed inside it.  As I felt the build up of an orgasm, right below my balls, in my ass, and around my thighs, I would feel this insane pressure that would instinctively make me squeeze.  The longer I squeezed, the more intense it felt.   As my body collapsed from the pressure, I released my muscles and watched the head of my penis erupt like a volcano, releasing my body’s fluids all over my hands, stomach, and chest.  I remember watching this and thinking, what will a girl think when I pull out and do this all over her?  Will it hurt her if I have too much and release it inside her?   Will she be grossed out or mad?  Will she be excited?  Will she want to taste it or feel it?  Will she be just as amazed as I am about how it all works?

I still remember my very first orgasm.  For whatever reason I would rub my body back and forth over a pillow and feel this extreme pressure in my anus area.  I did not have to be erect.  As I felt the pressure, I would squeeze my young butt cheeks and hold myself still until the feeling subsided.   It felt so good but nothing ever came out of my penis.  Of course, looking back, I know what I was feeling now.  My body was basically going through all the mechanics of an orgasm but dry heaving because my testicles hadn’t matured.

At about the age 10 or 11, I was in my bed at night moving my body back and forth over a spare pillow, waiting for this feeling to come.  As I felt the build up, I squeezed my butt as hard as I could, for as long as I could.  When I let go, this time, it wasn’t so dry.  I felt as though a small bug crawled through my lower shaft and worked its way to the tip of my head.  Because I was smashing my flaccid penis against the pillow, nothing came out.  As I sat up, I pinched the tip of my head holding in what I thought was maybe pee or something.  When I let the tip go, nothing came out.  I still felt something inside, so I slowly start to milk my dick.  As I stroked, I noticed the blood rush into my head and my penis looking bigger than normal.  I also noticed that this huge clear drop of fluid came out of my penis hole.  I immediately pinched it with my thumb and index finger so I could get a closer look.  As I brought it closer to my face and opened my fingers, I noticed that it was sticky and made a huge line of fluid that went from one finger to the next.   This was my first time ever seeing cum / pre-cum.  There was no internet and I had never seen a porn in my life.   And although this didn’t happen again for a year or two, this instance saved me from an embarrassing moment a few months later when a few older boys doubted my sexual knowledge and teased me for being a virgin.  “I bet you never even came before.”   I may have been a virgin, but I had came before.  By the way, fuck you guys.  I hate bullies.

It wasn’t until I met Venice, that I shared this moment with another person.  For me, it’s special and intimate.   Not just the orgasm, but watching closely as my dick releases semen.  Watching my gland expand and change colors before it releases.  Watching my entire body get goosebumps as I squeeze my ass and straighten my legs before I cum.  Watching my balls shrivel up into a walnut-like shell moments before I explode.   By sharing, I mean stroking in front of her with the lights on and letting her see the entire process.  With Venice I learned to enjoy myself properly, because before her, I would either rub myself on pillows or just stroke my dick like I was milking a cow. No touching, no rubbing, nothing that would make me feel weird or “gay”  like fondling my balls or sticking the tip of my finger in my ass.   She opened my eyes to teasing and playing with my asshole, massaging my balls, playing with my nipples, and stroking with both hands.   I learned through her reaction that she enjoyed seeing more than me just jacking off, which made me feel more comfortable trying new things.   Every man is different, but with a woman open and wanting to see a man explore his body, it’s easier to enjoy the less “manly” rituals.

Now, with our website, the videos and photos, we have shared this moment with others, but we’ve grown past the idea of keeping ourselves locked up in our own little worlds.   Some of our photos show things noone has ever seen, except us.   This was our first transition after the new us.   In fact, when I started this article I wanted to talk about the difference between Venice watching me orgasm when we first met, to her watching me now, 15 years later, with the new us.   I will try to hit on that topic for my next blog, but this was a good introduction.

May 1, 2013

Fantasy – My First Female Experience

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Lately I’ve been thinking more and more about women. I always found a woman’s body attractive, but I was afraid of being called a lesbian. Not that it was bad because my parents never showed favoritism or dislike to any race, religion, or lifestyle. However, people have expressed same sex experiences as something that was sinful. But as MTV’s Real World, Girls Gone Wild, and the endorsement and praise of celebrities, politicians, and other public figures have become more mainstream, it’s become more acceptable to enjoy it and be aroused by it.

So now, I’ve been talking the talk through this blog, on Twitter, xhamster, and other sites of which Ryan and I are members. My eyes have been opened by the flood of people who were like the old me (quiet, afraid of being judged by others for saying a woman has a sexy body), the me now (open to suggestions, receptive to male and female flirtation), and the me who I want to be (willing to bring a female into our bedroom, vocal about my attraction to women). And I can relate to all of them. I still remember the hesitation of looking at a woman’s breasts and wondering if her nipples look like mine. I can now empathize with the women out there who have yet to experience another female – a kiss, a more-than-friendly touch on my hand. And I envy the women out there who already have.

As I said, I’ve been thinking more and more about women. But truthfully, it has never really stopped. My thoughts have been becoming more intense knowing that Ryan would not only allow, but also enjoy me being with another woman. With his acceptance, he has alleviated a lot of reservations I’ve had and has encouraged me to explore my curiosities.

I’ve noticed that a lot of girl-on-girl fantasies are written by men, so let me show you mine.

My ideal woman would be someone who I know as a person and in turn, knows me as a person. She is open, but not whorish; playful, but not a rough-houser; loving, but not needy. I want someone to accept me AND Ryan – as a married couple, as individuals, and as people. We both have to like her and she has to like us both (because we come as a team). These are all important factors to me because I want to be able to have complete control as to who I let into my life, marriage, and pussy. I want Ryan to be able to talk to her and feel comfortable around her, otherwise I would be excluding him as an active participant. I want the other woman to respect and understand our boundaries. I want her to respect us the next morning. I want her to remember our likes and dislikes. I want her to be attentive to my needs and allow me to explore. In a way, my search of my first woman experience will be an interview of sorts, one that you either pass or fail. That’s the beauty of doing a search – I afford myself the opportunity of an extensive search.

Assuming we find this woman, we’d spend an evening together (I’d prefer a casual restaurant on the beach or hanging out on the balcony also overlooking the beach) talking and have a drink or two. I don’t want to be wasted because I want to remember my first time. I’ve only known the rough face of a man, the grip of his hands, and the power of his body as he thrusts his cock in my pussy, mouth, or ass. This is what I love about a man – feeling overpowered, protected, knowing his brute strength is controlled as he drops down onto my body. Although I’m Asian, I’m not the stereotypical petite woman and it takes a real man to handle me. So having Ryan’s 6’5″, 220 pound frame on me is such a turn on. To be clear, I am absolutely not in a rush to make this happen. It may take a few months, it may take a year, it may never even come. If we never find the right woman, then so be it.

With permission from the beautiful @alwaysbinikki
With permission from the beautiful @alwaysbinikki

But for now I’m ready to feel a woman’s lips, feel her skin, and smell her skin – all the things Ryan loves about me. I know the places where I liked to be touched – behind my ear, down my jawline, between my breasts – and I would love to be able to make another woman experience it from me. I love my man’s hair; it’s what makes him a man, it’s what reminds me of masculinity. But there is something about a smooth, female body that is enticing. To me, it means she takes care of her body, she cares about her appearance, she wants others to enjoy her body, too. After my Project Bush Growth experiment, I shaved myself bald again. And though Ryan wanted me to keep it, he couldn’t keep his mouth off of me the night I shaved. He sucked and slurped and used his tongue as a wash cloth to clean me off! He moaned and told me non-stop to always keep myself shaved..he missed it! That was so unbelievably sexy to hear him say all that! I won’t lie – I found a renewed love for shaved pussies after that. I started to see them in a new light, like his new appreciation for clean-shaven area made ME want to know that feeling. Soon I started seeing pussies that I wanted! I’ve been open with my appreciation for them for a while now, especially with so many people on Twitter (as well as those who I considered friends) posting them. But it wasn’t until I saw @AlwaysBiNikki’s photo of her vag did it prompt me to actually begin writing about my desire to have my first female experience. I needed to let others know that along with my openness came the need to follow through. I started to fantasize about losing my girlginity and eating a vagina for the first time. How badly did I want to slide my hands down and feel the dampness on a woman’s panties. I want to suck on lips, taste the juices, slide my tongue inside the holes, circle slowly on the clit – all just how I like, because I know what turns me on, what gets me sensitive, and what gets me to cum. I want to slide my fingers in and slowly massage her walls as I feel her tighten and squeeze around me. I want to feel her quiver and grab my head to let me know she was enjoying me between her legs. I want to make her moan and feel her clench as she cums on my lips, my own pussy soaking from the excitement of having a woman in my mouth for the first time.