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July 3, 2019

Would You Get a Tattoo of Your Wife’s Name On Your Penis Instead of a Wedding Ring?

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tattoo on penisWould You Get a Tattoo of Your Wife’s Name On Your Penis Instead of a Wedding Ring?

If marriage is really forever ever, and ever ever…. call your local tattoo shop, get ready to be slightly humiliated, and grab a towel to bite down on fellas!  The first question I usually get regarding a tattoo on my penis is, “Did it hurt?”  Tattoo on my dick or a Tattoo on my Penis.

Does Getting A Tattoo On Your Penis Hurt?

No, it didn’t hurt.  After years of rubbing up and down on this thing with my hand, driving it in mouths and rubbing it against teeth, my dick has the rigidness of elephant skin.   Going back and forth inside of a woman’s tight vagina 1000s of a times in a fuck session is going to leave your dick more sore than a tattoo.  Therefore, a tattoo on my penis was nothing.  You will have much more pain getting a tattoo on your leg, chest, ribs, or stomach.  I have a tattoo in all these spots and by far the tattoo on my penis was the least painful.

Is a Tattoo of Her Name on Your Penis Commitment or Dumb?

I think it is a bit of both.   I don’t care though.   Personally, I don’t really need a perfect dick, nor did I ever have one.  Random threesomes may have a quick awkward moment before the other girl puts her mouth around your penis, but that’s about the extent of it.  If we decide to fuck other girls, it has Venice’s name on it.  Which she loves.  When she says to the other girl, ‘You look so pretty sucking my dick…”  She means it.   Tattoo on my dick or a Tattoo on my Penis.

Much like how Andy wrote his name on the bottom of Woody’s foot, Venice has written her name on the top of my dick.  

Where Can You Get A Tattoo On Your Penis at?

Any tattoo shop will probably do this for you; however, it will cost a lot more.  Much like shipping and handling adds to the cost of things you buy, tattooing your dick also has a handling charge.  If you aren’t comfortable with being nude, or having another man hold your penis while drawing on it, then the wedding ring option may be more for you.  More than likely you will have to get a male tattoo artist.  Either way, bring your wife with you so she can enjoy the tattoo experience with you.  If you end up with a female artist, she may appreciate that you aren’t some pervert and brought your wife with you to ease the tension.  

If you really don’t want to do it at a public shop, you could do it at home yourself. It may cost a bit more for a tattoo machine though.

How Do They Tattoo Your Penis?  Do You Have to Be Erect?

No you do not have to be erect.  They will take your flaccid penis and wrap it around a small sterile bat shaped object.  This will tighten your skin and enable the tattoo artist to tattoo whatever it is you need onto your penis.   In fact, much like the photo above, you can see my penis wrapped around Venice’s wrist. That is the exact process.  Except you aren’t going to wrap your penis around the wrist of the tattoo artist.  Once it is tight and stretched, you will be surprised at how easily it can be tattooed.

A Cheaters Mark of Shame tattoo on penis

After getting the tattoo on my penis years ago, I searched around online to see if there were any other examples of what I had done.  I saw pictures of elephants trunks, dragons tails, and various other funny things, but didn’t really see much else.  However, I did read an interview with a female tattoo artist that said she noticed that men that cheat tend to be the ones that asked her to tattoo their dicks.  It seems a penis tattoo shows the ultimate recommitment for a cheating man trying to prove his loyalty.  So much so, women take back their cheating husbands thinking, “If he tattooed his dick, he must be sorry.  That other girl doesn’t have her name on his cock.”

That sounds pretty desperate, but in a way, that may subconsciously explain why I had my own penis tattooed.  Although I have never cheated, I was a virgin when I met Venice.  I am very proud of that.  The more girls we hooked up with together, the more guilty and disloyal I felt. I felt guilty because I enjoyed it.  I felt disloyal because I wanted it.  I felt greedy because I knew I didn’t want to stop and go back to a monogamous lifestyle.  

I had always told Venice that my dick is her dick.  Her vagina is my vagina.  If my dick goes inside another girl, it’s our dick.  She loves to see it.  Although the pleasure is physically connected to me (I’ve still never had an orgasm from another woman’s body), mentally, it’s our  experience. As dumb as that may seem to those not in the lifestyle, it makes sense to us.   In fact, I meant it so much that I tattooed her name on our dick.   And I don’t regret it.  So in a way, tattooing my dick was also my form of recommitting myself to her.

Without her, I don’t need it.

Would You Get A Tattoo On Your Penis?

Would you tattoo your wife’s name on your dick rather than wearing a wedding ring?  If you are polyamorous, would you use your dick as a chalk board and just tattoo various women’s names on your penis to show your commitment (bad joke)? 

 

May 29, 2019

The Biggest Penis Secrets Exposed: The Untalked About Mechanism Used To Create Better Orgasms For Men

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The penis and its biggest secret.  How to create better orgasms for men with a little knowledge and something that has never been talked about before… The Pushback. Sex Secrets

Oh my God, Fuckblogging.com has sold its’ soul to the internet devil and is publishing penis enlargement articles!?!?!   No, we will never sell our soul.  We’re all about the home grown, amateur, never make a buck, smut peddling, making up our own sex terms, ignorant opinions, awful sex suggestions, and horrible relationship advice that we have been doing now for over 7 years online.  Today is no different.

There is no toy called The Pushback and it is not a device you can buy on Amazon or your local sex shop.  The Pushback is a word that can possibly help you understand the mechanics behind sex that hasn’t really been discussed before.  And for free.  And what’s really cool, just understanding The Pushback can possibly help you give you and your partners better orgasms.  So let’s get into the important stuff shall we? Sex Secrets

The Pushback, Our Biggest Sex Secrets Revealed

Fellas, you can make your orgasms much better if you know what exactly is causing them.  Let’s start with a simple example so we can all be on the same page.  Ladies you can follow along too!    Make a cylinder with your hand and gently put it around your thumb.  Now move your thumb slowly in and out.  You will feel a slight tickle sensation across your thumb’s surface area.  You will also feel that you have a good sense of all the various textures and ridges in your hand. Now, do the same thing except squeeze your hand tighter around your thumb.  As you move in and out, you will notice that you actually feel less detail of the hand because of the pressure surrounding the thumb as a whole.  However, you can feel the resistance and it is obviously much tighter.  Now ask yourself, why does a tight vagina or anus feel so much better than a loose one?   First, your penis isn’t your thumb.  It is much more sensitive and has very sensitive nerve endings at the tip of the head and frenulum area.  The tight sensation around your penis also creates much more friction as it  rubs through a woman’s walls.  The idea of friction makes immediate sense, because if it’s tighter, it creates more friction and that just better around our penises right?  So this is why tight pussy feels better?

Not so fast… Sex Secrets Slowed Down

There is more.  Go back to putting your hand around your thumb and squeezing.  As you move in and out, I want you to pay attention to the knuckle at the base of your thumb.  In fact, you can actually visually watch your knuckle respond to the motion as you move your thumb in and out of the hand.   The tighter you squeeze, the more resistance, the more you will see that thumb knuckle move around the base of your thumb.  That is what we call “The Pushback.”  And that knuckle in comparison to your penis, is your prostate.  

If you are following along, I feel like this is the moment the light bulb goes off in your head and you have just been awoken.   It’s that simple.  Something that has never been put into words or talked about, makes all the sense in the world when you finally hear it.   Let me let you take your time to register that example for a second. The  untold Sex Secrets.

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March 27, 2019

If Every Straight Hook Up Site Was Like Grindr The World Would Be A Better Place

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If Every Straight Hook Up Site Was Like Grindr The World Would Be A Better Place

I was browsing through Reddit and I saw a question regarding a guy who had decided to let his girl experiment with another girl while he experimented with another guy.  It was an interesting post and a few things about it really piqued my interest.  

My girlfriend recently came out and said she wants to have sex with women but no other man. As a result it got me to thinking, and I would like to have experiment with the same sex as well. However, we are very unsure of how to find people to experiment with. How do people find patient, understanding lovers to learn the ropes with when they’re the same sex? We’re at a loss as to how to proceed into the territory of homosexuality.”

The Difference Between Men and Women Hooking Up

I immediately thought to myself that there was a few things that was going to happen.  First, his girlfriend would have to spend a lot of time looking for what she wanted.  She would have to  sort through girls that really just want threesomes with their husband (admittedly,  she’ll be sorting through us), catfish/men pretending to be women hoping to pick up some stray and confused pussy, curious females that will never actually meet you,  stud females that act like men and want to pound your guts in with 10 inch dildos, and various other things that will be obstacles for her and her bisexual journey.  I’m not saying this is how it always is, but in our experience, it’s exactly how it was.  However, his experience will be quite the opposite.  By the time she hooks up with another female, he may have an anus that will appear visually similar to the grand canyon.  I am not joking either.  Men will be lined up ready to suck, fuck, and rearrange his back in ways a chiropractor could only dream of.   

Which is why the following comments were hilarious to me…because it’s true.

After getting through the comments I noticed the original author edited his question and added that she wasn’t being serious.  More specifically, she was not okay with him having sex with another man.

Update: So the gf is no longer comfortable with me seeking men and it seems like she’s using this whole thing as revenge for some beef we have in our past. I think I’m going to walk on this relationship seeing as how it is incredibly toxic at the moment. Thank you all for your help and I’m definitely still going to experiment in the future!

Continue Reading If Every Straight Hook Up Site Was Like Grindr The World Would Be A Better Place

March 13, 2019

Foursome Memoirs: The Silent Partner, Phone Sex, and Swingers

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This is possibly the shortest running memoir series we will have on this blog.   1 post.

So we have been members of  a swing lifestyle website for years but have never met anyone from this site.  In fact, we have probably been members for just as long as we have blogged.   We’ve heard that although we only hook up with women, it’s still technically considered part of the swingers lifestyle.   Most swingers do actively look for a bi female, also known as the unicorn.  This past week, things changed.   We spoke with a couple that was interested in having the wife spoiled by another couple.   They were both in their second marriage and had only been married for about 3 months.  Personally, we both thought this was too soon, but we didn’t mention it. It was stated up front that the other wife wasn’t comfortable with Venice and her husband hooking up, which was fine with us, because it isn’t something we do anyway.  The couple both spoke with us on Kik and talked about how they spent their honeymoon having a mmf threesome with the husband’s friend.   Kind of weird I guess, but whatever.  The husband talked a lot about how he is doing this for her, it’s all about her needs, and he is really just a silent partner that enjoys watching his wife pleased.  He said he was really excited to see her with another woman.

We decided that this couple may be a match for us.  Although we have never done anything with a husband/boyfriend in the same room, it does turn us on to think about having sex in front of another couple.  We also thought we’d enjoy watching another couple have sex in front of us.  In hindsight, this may not be a reality for us.  As a couple, we like to joke around, take things a little less serious, and we tend to use comedy as a way to deal with uncomfortable situations.   This would probably be a recipe for disaster when watching a horny couple getting it on in front of us.

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February 13, 2019

Attention all Virgins Looking To Have Sex For The First Time

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Like A Virgin, Touched For The Very First Time

We found an interesting take on the idea of losing your virginity being “over hyped” and not a big deal.  Although this guide was written with the right idea in mind, the author seems to lose himself and accidentally makes virginity that much more of a big deal.   I mean, he wrote a whole essay about it!

Disclaimer:  It may seem like we are coming off toxic, but please know we are just being lighthearted and having fun with the article.  Our comments are meant to add a bit of entertainment value to the original guide, because… why not?

LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY ISN’T THAT BIG OF A  DEAL  A GUIDE TO LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY.

So, I’ve just turned 28 which means that I’m now enough of an old man to give life advice 🙂  I’ve been reading a bunch of people asking questions about the topic of losing their virginity lately and wanted to give my thoughts.

Losing your virginity is a big deal only if you never had sex

We’re conditioned by society (and maybe religion too) to think of our first time having sex as this huge milestone, like a watershed moment in becoming adults, or something like that. There are countless movies about boys and girls having sex for the first time (more on that later).

In retrospect, your first time having sex is no big deal. It will just be the first time of many more. Ten years later, you’ll consider that moment just the same as the first day of school as a kid. While you might remember well your first math class (and it might still haunt you), your memories from your schooling days will be primarily made of all the other experiences you’ve had during those years.

Your first time will be ‘ok’ at best

Forget the movies: your first time is very unlikely to be anything like that. Sex is dirty, messy, stinky, and in general quite gross, to be honest. You might end up being all sweaty (try showering together at the end). It likely won’t be as finely romantic as in that Hollywood movie.

In my first time, I remember being so nervous and excited at the same time, that I actually had a partial black out, and at the time I felt like I was “on autopilot” and my memories are confused (yet I was fully sober).

Venice:  Yea, it’s totally not a big deal guys.  I mean, you will get confused, literally black out from all the endorphins like you are high and drunk, and then write about it for years to come.  Not a big deal though.  lol.

Ryan:   And this is why men all over the world are excited, anxious, and can’t wait to lose their virginity.  They want to black out too!!  You can ride a roller coaster once and be so scared and excited that you black out. That’s a rush and a crazy experience.  Now if you ride roller coasters so much it loses all it’s luster, then yes, it’s easy to look back and say, “Riding a roller coaster isn’t a big deal.”  Nothing compares to the first time you rode a roller coaster, even if it was the old clunky wood one that didn’t do any loopty loops!  

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