First of all, Liberator is a local company just a few miles away from us, so let’s just say we may be a bit biased. 🙂
Okay, not really, being bias is for the weak. Venice and I are strong like bull! However, it is cool to know that the flagship store is near us. Knowing that if this order didn’t turn out right, I could easily storm into the flagship store and flip over tables of anal plugs and penis pumps until I got my satisfaction. “First of all Ms. Liberator Store Manager Person, either you guys need to add a few inches to this Hipster’s height, or you need to make my penis a few inches bigger. No exceptions. I’ll wait over there by the strap ons and ball gags until you decide what you need to do.” Let’s just hope the Hipster is everything we wanted it to be…
So we got this small package in the mail and had no idea what it would be. We hadn’t ordered anything small and the box was the size of computer tower. I opened the box (in the future, if anyone is interested in us recording our box openings, leave a comment and let us know) and saw what appeared to be a cute red velvet material folded nicely, a nice zipped up bag the size of a round couch pillow, and a promotional photo of a woman and her Hipster. Seeing the red velvet and the promotional photo let me know this was the Hipster. My first thought was, “Oh God, this is blow up furniture.” A bit disappointed, I pull the material out of the zipped up bag. It looks like a very durable material. My next thought was, “How long will it take Venice and I to pop this damn thing.” I saw printed on a small piece of paper, “Vacuum compressed.” Unsure exactly what that meant, I dug my fingers into the plastic and ripped the material out of the bag. And then… I was attacked! As soon as the air hit the inside of the bag, I learned that not only was it not inflatable, it was ready to come out of the package and launch at me. I panicked, thinking the Hipster would get stuck in the plastic as it expanded, I fought back to rip off all the plastic wrapping so it could expand without any problems. It did. In fact, I was blown away by the packaging. The Hipster is huge, sturdy, and I don’t think there is any way Venice and I could do anything destructive to this thing no matter how rough we got. I grapple/mma on material similar to what is inside the Hipster, and this stuff is durable as hell.
For me, this is a good thing. Because recently Venice broke a bouncing sex chair (and my penis) a few months ago and it scarred/scared me for life. We just happen to be filming as it happened. Yes, that *.gif is the bouncing sex chair breaking mid bounce. Thankfully my penis made it out of the accident with only a few minor scraps and bruises.
Anyway, I promised myself that if we did more reviews, we would not judge how safe a sex toy is on the environment, how certain rubber will loosen the vagina much more significantly if it’s twice the size of a softer rubber dildo, or how rubbing a sex toy against your body may cause red marks if you do it too hard. We review for fun, for the experience. I’d like to make sure all our reviews talk about our own personal experience with the product and not something we’ve read or researched. I also like to have fun, make jokes, and just be myself. No infomercials allowed. Let’s leave those types of reviews to the sex toys gurus… I just want to fuck Venice while she bends over this sexy ass red velvet pillow.
With that being said, when Venice saw the Hipster on the bed, she ran full speed with her jeans on and belly flopped onto the cushion yelling out, “I’m so tirrrrrred.” She grunted when she landed. I turned around and laughed when I saw the position she landed in: ass up / face down. I wanted to rip her jeans off on the spot.
Don’t move, I want a photo!
Okay, so I left my phone at the bank. Let me translate. I lost my homemade porn storage device at a place where there are 5 nosy women just looking for something to do. I think losing my phone may be in my personal top 5 of my biggest fears. Forget my credit cards, forget my cash, I just do not want to lose my mobile smut machine.
I originally titled this blog “Congratulations Venice!” I changed it because I ended up about 7 or 8 paragraphs deep and decided to give it an actual title. My original purpose was to give a quick summary on her weight loss and tell her congratulations for losing over 40 pounds in 8 months! If you see her on twitter @Venicebloggs, maybe give her a quick tweet congratulating her. She’s earned it.
Venice never needed a damn pill. What’s funny is, at 19 she had the skinniest arms and shoulders I had ever seen on a girl. I could see the anatomy of her clavicle and shoulder bone. By far the slimmest girl I ever dated. Those pills may have helped her lose 10 pounds quickly, although probably all water weight, but she didn’t need it. She’s a tough girl. Anything she puts her mind to, she can do. Venice was in the military, so this wasn’t the first time she made this lifestyle decision. She was in great shape while in the military. I saw her go from not being able do a push-up, to doing 20. From not being able to run a mile, to running 3 (and lost 20 pounds on accident, no pills needed). This was a long way long way from her teenage days of having the skinniest arms I had ever seen and still being extremely unathletic. In my opinion (she’d disagree), she was naturally slim but had horrible eating habits (her mother gave her money for Carl’s Jr. each night instead of making home made meals) and probably hadn’t exercised a day in her life. Her arms were sticks, her waist horded all her fattening food, and she felt “fat” just because she didn’t look like a swimsuit model. She used to say to me, “Just because I am 129 doesn’t mean I am not fat.” I was just a young guy. Guys already don’t get it. But at that age, I really didn’t get it. I cared very little about any of her body issues. All I cared about was her vagina (which unfortunately I didn’t have one of my own, or before her, one to play with). I just really really wanted it. Seriously. Eat Carl’s Jr. all you want, just please eat that greasy ass burger while you squat over my face so I can study your pussy up close. Thanks.
We have a long running series called the 
This is the best known of the female genital hot spots, located at the top of the vulva, where the inner labia join at their upper ends.
This is the spot of all spots. You can call it the C-Spot if you want, because if you C (see) this spot, you better put your mouth on it, suck on it, lick on it, touch it, tap your dick against it, rub it, circle it, pinch it, jerk it, stroke it, and make sure you leave your woman with a C (sea) spot on the bed. When I orgasm during oral sex, it’s always because my husband is gentle (but quickly) flicking his tongue back and forth over my clitoris. This orgasm is my most powerful. Whether it be with my own fingers, my husband’s tongue, or a vibrator, this is the spot. As soon as I orgasm though, slow down and take it easy. Much like your penis head gets sensitive after/as you orgasm, our clits get extremely sensitive as well and too much movement can ruin our orgasms and be very painful.
An Australian surgeon recently reported that the clitoris is larger than previously thought, much of it being hidden beneath the surface. The part that is visible is simply its tip, the rest of its length – its shaft – lying beneath the surface and extending down to surround the vaginal opening. This means that, during pelvic thrusting, its concealed part will be massaged vigorously by the movements of the inserted penis. There will therefore always be some degree of clitoral stimulation, even when the tip is not touched directly. The clitoral shaft is, however, less sensitive than the exposed tip, so that direct contact with the tip will always have a greater impact on female arousal. Some women claim that, by employing a rhythmic, downward roll of the pelvis, they can create a direct friction on the clitoris tip while the male is making pelvic thrusts, and can in this way magnify their arousal, but this requires a more dominant role for the female, which is not always accepted by the male.
This is a small patch of sensitive erectile tissue located just above and on either side of the urethral opening. It is absent just below the urethra, in the small area between the urethra and the vagina. Less well known than the clitoris, its erotic potential was only recently investigated by American clinical research workers. They found that if this region was gently caressed, with the finger, the tongue, or the tip of the penis, there was an unexpectedly powerful erotic response.
So I have decided to add a new series to our blog. Nothing crazy or elaborate, in fact, just the opposite. A simple diary of something I want to remember for myself later. I am not trying to win a Sex Pulitzer, impress anyone with my writing, or create a smut story so detailed you guys can jack and jill off and finish before the ending. This is just a section for me to keep track of the small things we do and have done over the years. If it’s something I am doing recently, I will add a date for my own personal reference. Although we still only submit new blogs on Mondays and Thursdays, the dates will be accurate for when the sexcapade occurred.