Dear 11-Year-Old Ryan

Dear 11-year-old Ryan,

My name is Venice and I’m writing to you from the future. In case you don’t believe me let me say a few things. You’re allergic to mushrooms, you have a turtle shaped birthmark on your shoulder, and you get up five minutes early every morning to put your sheets in the hamper because of a certain kind of “accident.” Just kidding about that last one…no I’m not!!! We won’t meet for a few years, but I have a few things to tell you before we do. I’m writing to you as your wife of over 15 years. I know that must answer a few questions like, “Will I ever live to see 30?” “Will I ever get married?” The answer is yes and yes! I don’t really want to ruin your future too much, but as a 11 year old boy, what could I possibly talk about that you’d be interested in?

Okay, let’s talk about your future girlfriends.

In a few months you will have your first kiss.  You will be followed around the skating ring by a cute girl, and eventually, at the end of the night, kiss her. The next week you will find out she talked to another boy and when she walks up to you to give you a hug, you will scoot her out of the way without saying a word. In fact, you never talked to her again.

lexi1In the 7th grade, an Indian girl will have a crush on you. She and her friend will call your house and ask you why you are so mean to her or why you don’t like her, and even write letters saying the same. You will think she is very cute, but to everyone else in class she is seen as very clumsy.  Sadly, you will think she is nice and pretty, but because of race and because of her being known to be clumsy, you would rather be single than deal with your classmates wondering why you would date someone like her. You will never date her. At Christmas she will give everyone in class a lollipop and a small note. Your note will be super long. After you read the first few lines, you will ask your friend to see his note and it will be like, “It’s a good time to be happy!” (end note). You letter will start, “All year I really have been nice to you and don’t understand what I did to make you so… ” You will stop there and throw the note in the garbage. Don’t feel bad. You’re not the only one who has missed an opportunity to be happy because of peer pressure. Like the time when you were 4 and you had a crush on your neighbor, the one who everyone said you were boyfriend & girlfriend with. mudYes, I know about that 🙂 I know that you played together every day and made mud pies, but after everyone teased you, you were purposely mean to her because you’d rather be “single” and not make mud pies than be teased for having a girlfriend. You really liked her but society made you hate her. I had a friend just like that when I was your age who I played with every day, got teased the same way too. And, like you, I was purposely mean. But what I did was knock him down as he was sitting on the trunk of his parents’ car and made him land on the car hitch. I walked away as he stood crying. Anyway, you will end up marrying a very dark Filipino woman to make up for your racism. You and I are cut from the same cloth, which is probably why we are drawn to each other.

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The Blowjob Bible

Great article contributed to the internet anonymously, so we decided to add to it and share it with our readers.  Thank you internet.

Oral-sex-banana-300x225Contributors to this article are women, straight men who know what they like, and gay and bisexual men (they have given and received).  There’s a lot to blowjobs, and it’s important to know that everyone is different, there is no magic technique that will bring every guy back for more.

Table of Contents

  • How do you receive head well?
  • How do you know if you’re giving good head?
  • Your enjoyment of the blowjob you’re giving
  • Preparation
  • Lubrication
  • Stimulation
  • Using your mouth (tongue, lips, cheeks, dealing with the hard surfaces)
  • Using your hands
  • Using your hands: Extending your mouth’s reach
  • Using your hands: Grip
  • Using your hands: Angle of cock
  • Using your hands: Steadying his cock
  • Using your hands: The scrotum
  • Don’t forget the rest of the body
  • Phases of blowjobs: Beginning
  • Phases of blowjobs: Middle
  • Phases of blowjobs: Approaching his orgasm
  • Phases of blowjobs: During his orgasm
  • Phases of blowjobs: After his orgasm ​
  • The biggest secrets behind his greatest blowjob

How do you receive head well?

It seems to be common knowledge that many guys aren’t active enough in their feedback when it comes to receiving blowjobs. This is a failing of the school system in that Sex Ed in school isn’t comprehensive enough. They should be teaching us to be better lovers as well as safe lovers. Not with practical demonstrations, there are moral and legal issues with that abound, but tips and tricks would be useful.

Guys, the feedback you should be giving to be useful is:

  • Moaning if you enjoy something,
  • Telling the person gracing your cock with their lips if they’re scraping with teeth and you don’t like it,
  • Telling the person gracing your cock with their lips if they’re scraping with teeth and you do like it – Do you want more? Tell them…
  • Saying “Keep going” if you’re enjoying the way they’re doing something
  • Saying “Speed up” or “slow down” if it would help your enjoyment.
  • Saying “Could you use more saliva/lube?”
  • If you’re not enjoying it, you’re (probably) not obligated to keep going while the other person gets frustrated from getting no reaction out of you. Try switching to something else.

How do you know if you’re giving good head?

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Sexcapades – Pillow Talk

Rough SexMy alarm went off as it always does. And like I always do, I extend my legs and arms and do a quick stretch to wake up. Although I’m not a morning person, every morning I look forward to waking up Ryan. I know that our mornings make his day, but it also makes mine. After the last bit of yawning and stretching, I begin to prop myself up. Today, however, Ryan scoots his body close to mine like we’re about to spoon. He pulls my hips toward him and starts to rub between my legs. I know exactly what he wants, so I grab the jar of coconut oil that I keep on my side of the bed and dab a little between my labia. He holds his already hard dick still for me as I position myself on him. Ryan glided in me effortlessly; I moved with him.

He started moving faster and faster. “Get on your stomach,” he suddenly ordered. I know better than to disobey. I turned over and put my hands at the head of the bed ready for him to grab my wrists. Or hold down. I let out the softest of moans as he plunged deep into me. He put my pillow over my head. He muffled something, but it was hard for me to understand from beneath my down pillow. I was able to make out a few words: “Don’t say a fucking word.”

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What Makes A Penis Attractive To A Woman

CocklineWhat Makes A Penis Attractive To A Woman

So I decided to write an article dealing with what women find the most attractive about a man’s penis.  In doing so, I have searched for various responses and took a poll that I sent out to other women from all walks of life to get their answers.  Everything quoted throughout this article is the responses from various women about what they find the most attractive about a man’s penis.

First, let’s talk about the survey, published on July 23, 2015, in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, aimed to find out which qualities women consider most carefully when deciding whether a penis is attractive. This survey seems to almost want to prove that women are attracted to more than just size (which goes against previous studies). Researchers from the University of Zurich in Switzerland (I believe these poll results would be drastically different depending on nationality — and even more so if you asked a specific race in a country such as America: Asian, White, Black, Spanish) first asked a group of 105 women, ranging in age from 16 to 45, to look at pictures of male genitalia and rate how “normal looking” they found each penis to be.

Next, the women were asked about which penile qualities they considered most important when assessing the attractiveness of a man’s package. Specifically, subjects were asked to rate the following attributes in order of importance: length of the penis, girth of the penis, position and shape of the meatus (the opening where certain fluids come out), shape of the glans (the rounded tip or head of the penis), appearance of the scrotum, appearance of the skin on the penis, appearance of pubic hair and the overall cosmetic appearance of the penis.

So to break it down, here is how those qualities ranked:

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What It Feels Like For A Woman To Have Sex

woman sexNot all women, but me.

While we have sex, Ryan has said to me several times, “You feel so good, I wish you could feel what I feel.” While it’s definitely a compliment to me, I knew there was no way I could physically/physiologically relate. We can discuss how a sinus headache feels or how good it feels to have someone rub your feet, but male and female orgasms are something I’ve never really been able to compare. Not only am I unable to relate, I really don’t feel there’s anything remotely similar between a penis and vagina to which I can compare the feeling. I understand they both contain nerve endings that, when stimulated, result in an orgasm, but unless we switch bodies, I won’t get it, because I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever have a penis.

Now, because I’m very ticklish, it’s hard to enjoy foreplay in the traditional sense, i.e. being kissed, licked, massaged, etc. I love to be touched, caressed, massaged – all of that – but the tickle sensation always cuts the foreplay short. I’ve gotten better about only because Ryan knows my body. When I lay on my stomach and he massages my back, he know to stay toward the middle of my back, to press hard, or even scratch with increased pressure. When he sits at the edge of the bed and kisses on my neck, he knows to keep his hands on my upper thigh and not on my waist. If he does and he feels my back arch or if I inhale sharply as a reaction to being touched in a sensitive area, he pulls his hand away quickly. But there is a very, very brief moment between his sensual touching and a downright tickle attack where my body is in a heightened state of euphoria. Goose bumps form along my arms and back, the hairs on my body dance, and my nipples get sensitive. I shiver and moan and can feel my eyes moving to the back of my head.

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