The other day, Ryan (Mahal) and I were looking through his box of memories. It was filled pictures of me through various stages of my life, movie stubs, receipts from local movie rental stores, postage from care packages, candy wrappers, and letters I’d written to him while he was away at college. Sometimes on a roll of cash register paper that he’d have to unfurl to read, sometimes on cardboard packaging, and sometimes on college ruled paper. We spent most of that night looking at his memories. He cried a few times as he remembered how in love we were, and still are. It’s like we blinked and we went from being giddy teenagers without a care in the world to being married, raising our young, and spending our days together doing yard work and taking vacations and caring for each other.
Here is one of the letters that I wrote to Ryan reminding him (and me) of the many reason why I love him. Please keep in mind, I was young and he was my first real love. Also, emoticons were around before computers!
1) he took my virginity
2) i took his virginity
3) he likes to talk to me
4) he listens to me when i bark
5) he licks my back and makes me feel tingly
6) when we kiss, he looks with his eyes open
7) he gets me drinks when i’m thirsty
8) he massages my feet when i just take off my shoes and they’re all hot and sweaty
9) i’ve felt every feeling except [anger] towards/with him
10) he’s my best friend in the world
11) he learned to comb my hair and make it tangle free
12) he puts puzzle pieces together and helps me find the pieces i need
13) he eats food from my mouth
14) he eats already chewed up stuff from my mouth, so all he has to do is swallow
15) he massages my back
16) he likes to go grocery shopping with me
17) i like how he looks in baggy jeans
18) he answers all my questions when i think he’s not paying attention
19) he licked my molars with his tongue
20) he ate ice cream off of me
21) i talk to him as my boyfriend or my best friend
22) he has a cutesy face
23) he has a cutesy smile
24) he has a cutesy butt
25) he has cutesy hands
26) when he’s mad he looks even more cutesy
27) he is a little shy boy
28) he’s a real talkative man
29) he says “ihh…you put ice in your milk! That’s gross” and then goes home and ices his milk
30) he rubs off on me
31) i rub off on him
32) we rub off on each other
33) he cares about my feelings
34) he cares if im mad
35) he calls me collect and says to call him back as his “name”
36) he talks like a little baby sometimes
37) he talks like a grown-up
38) he copies the things i do and say
39) he looks cute when he thinks too hard
40) he looks good with a shirt off
41) he reminds me to put my seatbelt and slow down when i drive too fast
42) he holds my hand (and sometimes puts his arm around me) in public
43) he made my bed
44) he knows how to share his toys
45) he gives me whatever i want
46) he gives me piggy back rides
47) he does what i tell him
48) he doesn’t let his eyes wander
49) he wrote poems for me
50) when we ice skate he holds my hand
51) he likes how i look
52) he sends me things in the mail
53) he kisses so well!
54) he has a cutesy face
55) he’s smart
56) he would never cheat on me
57) i get all his attention
58) he eats ghetto cheese and mountain dew
59) he likes the stories and poems i write
60) he lets me cut his nails
61) he wants to do nasty things
62) he asks to do nasty things
63) he cries when he feels like it
64) he lets me in the bathroom when he’s peeing
65) he learned a lot of things from me
66) he made me believe that i can really love someone
67) he shows me off
68) he started liking Jon B. when he only liked rap
69) he has a cutesy face
70) he is thoughtful to me
71) he makes my heart flutter
72) he’s honest
73) he likes to be clean
74) he likes to get dirty
75) he’s a deep thinker
76) I’m the happiest when I’m with him
Ryan and I went out to eat last night at our local wings bar. As we made our way home, we saw a huge, gray mass in the sky hovering near our house. Flashes of lightning lit up the sky as we pulled up into the driveway. The wind picked up when we got into the house and I feared one of the pine trees in the backyard would surely topple over. Thunder shook the house; I thought Ryan was hitting the wall from behind the closet door. It felt was that close. As I put some french fries in the oven for everyone to eat with the hamburgers I made the night before, the lights flickered for a split second. But I wasn’t worried because this is very normal and very expected during a storm.
So I began moving my arms and legs. My mind started to feed on itself. “Is that a light out there? Or is that lightning? Is someone out there with a flashlight? Are they going to break in and kill us like in ‘The Strangers’ with Liv Tyler? How fast can I get in the house, grab my phone so I can call 911, gather my kids into Ryan’s closet while he gets the gun loaded? It’s the light again! That’s not lightning! What if my legs are too wobbly to make it out of the garage? What if I trip over the bottle water? There’s the light again! Can they hear my elliptical machine from out there? Should I tell Ryan? I don’t want to die without pants on! There goes the light ag–WHO THE FUCK IS OUT THERE?!?!”
After work yesterday, Ryan and I went to the mall to look for a birthday present for his sister. “I think she needs a new wallet,” I told him. So we entered through Sears because it was the quickest way to get to Old Navy.
Older Women Fuck Better
I’ve recently discovered the joys of creampies. Ok, not quite recently. I know what they are as I’ve seen them in a few porns. And to be honest, I thought it was pretty disgusting. But for those of you who aren’t aware of what a creampie is, lemme ‘splain. A cream pie is when a man ejaculates in a vagina and the semen seeps out. Similarly, an anal creampie is the same, only it comes out of her bootay. So when the semen comes out, it looks like, you guessed it, a creampie.