Love the blog guys! Great job on providing an honest opinion, by, and for real people. Definitely the only site of this nature I would sign up for with my real e-mail address. Drop us a line if you ever head up to Canada’s frozen North!
J&M
Thank you J&M. We would love to visit Canada one day. 🙂
With our blog focusing on being a married couple and our journey together, we sometimes get readers that disagree with our ideas. The biggest argument we seem to be faced with is the argument of marriage. Here is an email from a reader that claims that if we wanted to have threesomes we should have never gotten married:
Venice and Ryan, I wholeheartedly disagree with what you guys write about on your blog. Your website almost cheapens the idea of marriage and shows how far our society has gone. Originally marriage was about two people loving each other, having a family, and being exclusive to your partner for the rest of your lives. What happen to those days? Why would anyone get married when they still enjoy committing adultery? Maybe you should spend more time reading about what marriage really means rather than writing about your adulterous adventures.”
Okay, I will take your advice and read about what marriage really means. Let’s talk about the origins of marriage.
Below is an excerpt from an article written by Tia Ghose of livescience.com. The facts themselves were sourced from Stephanie Coontz, the author of “Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage,” (Penguin Books, 2006).
1. Arranged alliances
Marriage is a truly ancient institution that predates recorded history. But early marriage was seen as a strategic alliance between families, with the youngsters often having no say in the matter. In some cultures, parents even married one child to the spirit of a deceased child in order to strengthen familial bonds, Coontz said.
2. Family ties
Keeping alliances within the family was also quite common. In the Bible, the forefathers Isaac and Jacob married cousins and Abraham married his half-sister. Cousin marriages remain common throughout the world, particularly in the Middle East. In fact, Rutgers anthropologist Robin Fox has estimated that the majority of all marriages throughout history were between first and second cousins.
3. Polygamy preferred
Monogamy may seem central to marriage now, but in fact, polygamy was common throughout history. From Jacob, to Kings David and Solomon, Biblical men often had anywhere from two to thousands of wives. (Of course, though polygamy may have been an ideal that high-status men aspired to, for purely mathematical reasons most men likely had at most one wife). In a few cultures, one woman married multiple men, and there have even been some rare instances of group marriages.
4. Babies optional
In many early cultures, men could dissolve a marriage or take another wife if a woman was infertile. However, the early Christian church was a trailblazer in arguing that marriage was not contingent on producing offspring.
“The early Christian church held the position that if you can procreate you must not refuse to procreate. But they always took the position that they would annul a marriage if a man could not have sex with his wife, but not if they could not conceive,” Coontz told LiveScience.
5. Monogamy established
Monogamy became the guiding principle for Western marriages sometime between the sixth and the ninth centuries, Coontz said.
“There was a protracted battle between the Catholic Church and the old nobility and kings who wanted to say ‘I can take a second wife,'” Coontz said.
The Church eventually prevailed, with monogamy becoming central to the notion of marriage by the ninth century.
6. Monogamy lite
Still, monogamous marriage was very different from the modern conception of mutual fidelity. Though marriage was legally or sacramentally recognized between just one man and one woman, until the 19th century, men had wide latitude to engage in extramarital affairs, Coontz said. Any children resulting from those trysts, however, would be illegitimate, with no claim to the man’s inheritance.
“Men’s promiscuity was quite protected by the dual laws of legal monogamy but tolerance — basically enabling — of informal promiscuity,” Coontz said.
Women caught stepping out, by contrast, faced serious risk and censure.
7. State or church?
Marriages in the West were originally contracts between the families of two partners, with the Catholic Church and the state staying out of it. In 1215, the Catholic Church decreed that partners had to publicly post banns, or notices of an impending marriage in a local parish, to cut down on the frequency of invalid marriages (the Church eliminated that requirement in the 1980s). Still, until the 1500s, the Church accepted a couple’s word that they had exchanged marriage vows, with no witnesses or corroborating evidence needed.
8. Civil marriage
In the last several hundred years, the state has played a greater role in marriage. For instance, Massachusetts began requiring marriage licenses in 1639, and by the 19th-century marriage licenses were common in the United States.
9. Love matches
By about 250 years ago, the notion of love matches gained traction, Coontz said, meaning marriage was based on love and possibly sexual desire. But mutual attraction in marriage wasn’t important until about a century ago. In fact, in Victorian England, many held that women didn’t have strong sexual urges at all, Coontz said.
10. Market economics
Around the world, family-arranged alliances have gradually given way to love matches, and a transition from an agricultural to a market economy plays a big role in that transition, Coontz said.
Parents historically controlled access to inheritance of agricultural land. But with the spread of a market economy, “it’s less important for people to have permission of their parents to wait to give them an inheritance or to work on their parents’ land,” Coontz said. “So it’s more possible for young people to say, ‘heck, I’m going to marry who I want.'”
Modern markets also allow women to play a greater economic role, which lead to their greater independence. And the expansion of democracy, with its emphasis on liberty and individual choice, may also have stacked the deck for love matches.
11. Different spheres
Still, marriage wasn’t about equality until about 50 years ago. At that time, women and men had unique rights and responsibilities within marriage. For instance, in the United States, marital rape was legal in many states until the 1970s, and women often could not open credit cards in their own names, Coontz said. Women were entitled to support from their husbands, but didn’t have the right to decide on the distribution of community property. And if a wife was injured or killed, a man could sue the responsible party for depriving him of “services around the home,” whereas women didn’t have the same option, Coontz said.
12. Partnership of equals
By about 50 years ago, the notion that men and women had identical obligations within marriage began to take root. Instead of being about unique, gender-based roles, most partners conceived of their unions in terms of flexible divisions of labor, companionship, and mutual sexual attraction.
13. Gay marriage gains ground
Changes in straight marriage paved the way for gay marriage. Once marriage was not legally based on complementary, gender-based roles, gay marriage seemed like a logical next step.
“One of the reasons for the stunningly rapid increase in acceptance of same sex marriage is because heterosexuals have completely changed their notion of what marriage is between a man and a woman,” Coontz said. “We now believe it is based on love, mutual sexual attraction, equality and a flexible division of labor.”
What is marriage? Since the idea of marriage has been changing since our existence, there is no real definite answer. My opinion? Marriage is two people learning to work together, raise a family together, and live together happily for the rest of their life. Two people communicating, being best friends, having experiences together and both agreeing on what they want to try together, without close minded limits worrying about how other people view your marriage. Marriage is not about what other people think your marriage should be, it is about what you as a couple feel your marriage should be. You don’t marry their opinions, you marry your spouses. And if you and your spouse are happy, that is really all that matters. Ryan and I are very happy.
Thanks for the email.
After many weeks of late-night gaming, video-editing, and uploading, I went to bed earlier than usual, getting a full six hours of sleep last night. My body woke up earlier than normal, more than a half hour before my alarm was set to go off. I cozied up against Ryan and put my hand on his chest. He stirred as I moved my hand under the sheet to touch his skin; rubbing my fingers over his warm balls and soft penis. This woke him up. He rolled over and kissed on my neck as he slid his hand between my thighs. I was already nude. We both were. His fingers slid between my lips, in and out. I was still wet from when he left his semen in me just hours earlier. I pulled him down to me, hooking my arms under his and holding onto his bulging traps. He slowly slid his dick inside me and I start to moan as I feel him get thicker inside me. His shaft starts to rub harder and harder. He lifts up both my legs onto his shoulders, getting even deeper in me.
“Grab my shoulders now,” I moaned into his ears. As he does, we’re locked in a tight position and I’m forced to take all of his cock with no room to wiggle free. Both of my legs are high on his shoulders as my own knees are forced to rest next to my ears. As my legs are on his shoulders he reaches underneath my back and latches onto my shoulders so he can squeeze me into a ball and pull me down into his thrusts. This position forces my body into a tight ball with my pussy and ass totally exposed to his thrusting pelvis. I wanted to be abused.
Continue Reading Good Morning – I want you to cum “right there”
Last night I found some old naughty polaroids Venice sent me for the Valentine’s Day before we got married. As I looked through the pictures I began to think about how much has changed since she stood in front of that camera excited to share her body with me. Back then, these pictures were almost like a marriage license before you were married. You didn’t send anyone polaroids of yourself unless you really trusted them. In fact, I remember one huge argument we got into that ended with her saying, “Whatever, you don’t have to ever talk to me again but please send back my photos.” I suppose the photos became divorce papers when a boyfriend and girlfriend argue. Hearing her say that meant this wasn’t just a back and forth argument a new couple goes through, she was seriously considering ending our relationship. I immediately apologized and let her know I loved her more than anything in the world.
Anyway, seeing the photos reminded me of how beautiful she was. How lucky I was. How skinny she looked. How young she looked. And yes, how different her body looked seeing her with pubic hair. I remember in college and throughout the first few years of our marriage I would secretly pull out these pictures and study the details of her body. Then, as cell phones became more popular and every phone had a camera, I put the polaroids away and had my own hidden stash of naughty pictures she would send me or I would take of her on my phone. The need for the polaroids became obsolete and the memories of what she used to look like faded away.
Until last night.
After seeing the photos I started to think to myself about different things Venice had done with me over the years that I hadn’t thought about in a while. As I remembered some things I immediately thought to myself that I should write blogs about these random memories. That was the true intentions of this blog to begin with.
So, that’s what I will do.
Continue Reading Crying During Sex, The First Time She Cried
M
en often view having a large member as a symbol of strength and sexual prowess. But it turns out, when it comes to keeping a woman satisfied, bigger may not be better.
Contrary to popular belief, a new study out of Kenya found that husbands with larger penises were more likely to be cheated on by their wives (shocking, we know).
For the study — published this month in PLOSOne — researchers interviewed 545 married couples in Kenya in order to better understand their relationship habits and, more specifically, to identify factors which contributed to women having extramarital affairs.
Researchers asked both partners to self-report the male’s erect penis size (they had a 15 inch ruler on hand for reference). Then, if there were differences between the estimates (which there were), they either took the average of the two or went with the estimate from the partner who was less likely to fib.
What they found was rather shocking:
“Every one inch longer penis increased the likelihood of women being involved in extra-marital partnership by almost one-and-half times,” the researchers wrote. “Women associated large penises with pain and discomfort during sex which precludes the enjoyment and sexual satisfaction that women are supposed to feel.”
In fact, one woman interviewed for the study told the researchers the following: “Some penis may be large yet my vagina is small, when he tries to insert it inside, it hurts so much that I will have to look for another man who has a smaller one [penis] and can do it in a way I can enjoy.”
According to the study, 6.2 percent of the 545 females had affairs during the six-month study. Other factors that increased the likelihood of women straying outside the marriage included domestic violence, being denied sex or denied preferred sexual position, being under age of 25 and a lack of sexual satisfaction.
Researchers focused on female infidelity specifically because of the prevalence and spread of HIV among women in the region. Researchers felt if they could identify reasons for unprotected sex, they might better prevent it.
Venice’s Response:
This article is nothing new to most of us women. Men are infatuated with their penis sizes. Men also tend to admire other men with larger packages. Just judging different social networks, men with larger packages tend to be praised highly by other men. The infatuation almost seems somewhat homosexual. Men also seem to be the only ones that insult other men (who appear smaller in photos) about their penis sizes. It’s almost penis bullying. Women are usually polite and give most guys the benefit of the doubt, regardless of what their penis size. Most women just don’t care.
Wait, women may care at first or want to “try” something huge, but at the end of the day we want sex to feel good, to feel comfortable. Like men, we want to be able to relax and enjoy the moment. If it feels good, we are happy. If there is an emotional connection, it feels huge and intense inside us regardless of the “ruler” size.
We also get protective over our men and inherit their size as our own. If women are asked about their men’s penis by other men, we tend to exaggerate the size to protect our men. Does it matter to us? Nope. But since it matters so much to them, and we do not want our husband’s bullied or talked down on just because of some piece of flesh they have no control over, we exaggerate. This misconception almost seems like a vicious cycle. Some men may think us bragging about larger penises is because we truly do love large dicks, but most of the time it’s to protect our lovers from scrutiny. Even replying that your lover is average tends to get the comment, “Well I am well above average babe, I can please you like he never could.”
Lame.
Some men are shallow and will never understand this. Men with larger penises tend to think just showing or sending a picture of their cock will sweep women off their feet and magically make them want to be unfaithful. It’s probably that shallowness that keeps the women in the article above unfaithful to them.
Ryan’s Response:
For me this could mean a few things. Since the penis size was more of the woman’s perspective, it’s very possible some of the women exaggerated about their husband’s penis size because it meant something to them. For them, to have a husband with a larger penis was a trophy. Because the penis size is important to them, sex seems to be more important as well. This leads them to be a bit more promiscuous.
Or the women were being completely honest and guys with larger penises do not satisfy them so they look for satisfaction elsewhere. The reasons could be physical or mental. A man with a smaller package tries harder. He also may not rely on his sexual prowess to win a woman’s loyalty, but instead uses his personality.
Interesting article.
Original article reported by Taryn Hillin of The Huffington Post.
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