How to Masturbate and hatch eggs in Pokémon Go [ Life Hacks ]

How to Masturbate and hatch eggs in Pokémon Go.

Here is a funny and neat article regarding a sexy secret to hatching eggs in  Pokémon Go. Although the author has calculated the distance of each masturbation, depending on your size, your miles may vary!   And it is also something the ladies can do as well.

I’ve been doing my more-than-average holiday masturbation the past few days. Last holiday I was the lucky receiver of a new Apple Watch, which I haven’t used much aside from to collect walking distance on Pokémon Go. I realized over the last few days that masturbating with the watch on has been getting me 0.4-0.6km walking credit for each fap. I was amazed at finding a productive use of the Apple Watch so I did some quick calculations:

My penis is about 15cm long, which means I am getting a solid 3,300 full base-to-head strokes in to get an average of 0.5km. I’ve surmised that the last 10% of strokes gravitate around the upper half of my shaft and head, though. This means I’m getting somewhere a solid 2,970 full strokes and 330 upper half strokes in per wank. Some of that distance could be me sprinting to get a towel that I’ve inevitably forgotten, though.

Nothing is more rewarding than choking your chicken and turning on Pokémon to see you’ve hatched an egg or two in the process.

Celebrity “Self” Sex Tape Reviews: Randy Couture

Celebrity “Self” Sex Tape Reviews: Randy Couture

Randy Couture, also known as the Natural, has unfortunately had a sex tape leak which captures him wearing nothing but his all natural birthday suit.  For those not familiar with Randy Couture, he is a UFC Legend, Champion, and has went on to star in various movies.  During one of his fights, he was famously coined by Joe Rogan as “Captain America.”  Well, Captain America is now in a legal battle over a sex tape that has leaked on the internet.  

After a podcast named The Fighter and The Kid, with Brendan Schaub and Bryan Callen, went viral making fun of Randy Couture’s Sex Tape, the world was exposed to another side of a UFC legend.  In essence, they recorded what is commonly known on YouTube as a “reaction video.”  With this video going viral and being The Fighter and the Kids most popular clip of all time, curiosity got the best of us.  

As always, we will review this self sex tape below:

1 poor, 2 fair, 3 average, 4 good, 5 excellent

Venice’s Review:
Quality: 1
Entertainment Value: 1
Star Factor: 2
Skill Level: 1
The Woman: There was no woman.
The Man: 4
Sexual Value: 1

Well, for a 50+ year old man, he has a great body.  You can’t take that away from him.  Although one would imagine an MMA fighter and legend having huge balls, you will be disappointed when you realize Randy is just an average man with an average sized penis.  No extra muscles, no human growth hormones making it larger, no tattoos on it, no cock rings shaped like UFC belts, and nothing really to keep myself from clicking on “next” on chatroulette other than I am looking at a former UFC champion. There isn’t much else to say.  The money shot was interrupted by a poor wifi connection.   

Ryan’s Review:
Quality: 1
Entertainment Value: 1
Star Factor: 2
Skill Level: 1
The Woman: He was masturbating.  Frank and beans, frank and beans.  He was masturbating!
The Man: 3
Sexual Value: 1

Well, I have now seen Randy Couture spank Tito Ortiz during a fight, spank himself to apparently turn on a woman, and spank his monkey until it throws up all over his webcam.  Obviously this was not made to be leaked on the internet.  I really can’t say much about it because it really is just a video of a UFC legend spanking his own nude ass, rubbing his nipples and balls, and masturbating on camera.  Unfortunately some things cannot be unseen.   Thanks a lot Fighter and The Kid.

Top 30 NSFW Sub Reddits (You’re Welcome)

It is well known that the internet was created for nothing other than porn and all the other unimportant things, such as information, just kind of fell into place. The unsung hero of the internet’s true purpose is its powerful reach when it comes to pushing the boundaries of smut itself. One of the best purveyors of NSFW content you won’t find anywhere else is Reddit.  The best NSFW Reddit combines sex appeal with niche fetishes and kinks, celebrates body positive, and even delves into the surreal. Our list of those communities shines a light on some of the darkest, most perverted, and most popular spots on the internet.

We have our own naughty selfie section for those interested in seeing what we look like and share online.  Or you can play “Where’s Waldo” and find us posting on these naughty nsfw sub reddits below!


 

r/sex

Probably the main subreddit we browse.  We enjoy the witty comments, open-minded sexual questions, and enjoy reading various talk about random people’s sex life. It’s kind of what we do with our blog right?  We ourselves have posted on this subreddit numerous times, been called “trolls” because some of our adventures seem unreal to some users, and also have been complimented.  No hard feelings, we are real and we love this the r/sex sub reddit!  

r/normalnudes

The real MVP.  Men and women a bit self conscious about their bodies ask for feedback from the internet.  Protected by mods so you cannot troll or be mean, so it’s extremely body positive and fun to look at!  Enjoy.

r/gonewildhairy 

Like us, we are embracing natural hair, the natural bush, and both growing out our hair.  This is a nsfw sub Reddit that has stages of women going through hair growth.  It is beautiful and sexy.  We love it!

r/AsianBush

The asian bush.   The best bush.

You can follow her on twitter as well.

r/HairyPussy

Again with the hair!  Well, since we are both all natural and have decided to give up the razor, it only makes sense that we would enjoy a subreddit that is all about the beauty of the bush.  Not everyone’s cup of tea, but definitely ours!

r/erasernipples

This is another random subreddit we found very fun and sexy.  There are a lot of subreddits like this, very particular to what you are looking for.  If you love large nipples, like erasers, this subreddit is for you!

r/changingrooms

Selfies taken from changing rooms.  Help these ladies pick out the outfits they will be wearing that night.  Help them pick out the right panties and bra.  Or just look at them flashing their breasts while inside a changing room.

r/AsiansGoneWild

If you have followed our blog at all over the last 5 years, then you know Venice is Asian, and Ryan loves Asian women!  Well then of course they love the subreddit of amateur Asian women sharing their bodies for fun!  Asainsgonewild is a hot spot for the Bloggs on reddit.  And if you have a thing for Asian women, this is where you will learn all about their naughty bits.

r/asianpussy

And one last Asian category to grow on.  Literally.  Good community, a lot of content, and you may find me there exposing myself!  Shhhhh, don’t tell anyone!  

Big trouble in little china! 

tiny asian vagina

r/tipofmypenis

Are you looking for that rare porn you remember masturbating to when you were younger?  That 3 second gif that you can’t stop staring at, wanting to see more.  That video that just shows 2 minutes and nothing else?  This subreddit is the brains behind helping you find any obscure video or porn star you have ever imagined.  If these guys can’t find it, no one can.  And if you think you can do better?  Join them and make them better.  

r/stupidslutsclub

Random amateur/real stories from women all over the world that proudly slut it up.  From public sex, to gang bangs, to whatever their heart desires.  Good reads.

r/grool

Girl drool.  Say no more.  Trust me, here at Sex Life and Everything we are finding the good stuff for you.  You’re welcome.

r/nostalgiafapping

If you grew up in the 90s, this is for you.  Before the internet, before pornhub, before xhamster, there was tv shows, short shorts, random cleavage, and Cinemax after 12 AM where we got all the fapping material needed.  Boys knew they hit puberty after seeing some of these scenes and photos.


25 More…

NSFW Reddit Gone Wild

There’s something for everyone in the sprawling corner of NSFW Reddit known as Gone Wild, or Reddit GoneWild. Here are the NSFW subreddits to start with.

1) r/GoneWild

The best-kept secret in amateur pornography on the internet. That is if you can still count it as a secret when almost a million people subscribe, and even more just pop in for a visit. Reddit GoneWild has fostered a deeply supportive community, with regulars and a dedicated pack of commenters. Reddit’s GoneWild allows people to safely explore their exhibitionist tendencies, but it’s basically just women. For readers looking to indulge in male nudity, keep reading.

 

Reddit nsfw : Amateur porn photo

 

Continue Reading Top 30 NSFW Sub Reddits (You’re Welcome)

Australian Brothels: First Hand Experience and Guide To The Low Down On The Down Under

Below is a great article written in detail by a man from Australia that has just gotten out of a monogamous marriage. He has decided to share his experience with legal brothels and escorts in Australia.   If you have any experiences you would like to share, please contact us.

Me – In my early 40s. Why? Because I’ve come out of a 20 year monogamous marriage, have never done anything like this before, have the cash and I’m not ready to date yet. I also figured it was safer from disease than Tinder. Plus, well… I’m in my 40s, balding and out of shape…

Where? Australia, in a city where there are legal, licenced brothels.

How many? 5 different Brothels, 10 different sex workers including one private escort (holy shit that actually seems like a lot now that I’ve written it down).

Why write this? Because it might provide useful info. Any sex workers on here please feel free to comment, good or bad. These are my opinions, observations, and assumptions – I could be wrong.

Terminology – I’m going to use “Sex worker” or “Escort” instead of “Prostitute” because where I’m from it’s a more respectful term.

BEFORE YOU GO

Many brothels have websites where you can read short bios of the girls. Most of them have fake pictures (the fine print says the image is a “likeness only”, and the likenesses are usually not all that accurate). The website usually has a roster, so you can see who is working and when. That way once you get to know the girls you know whether the ones you like are working, and can even make a booking in advance for a girl you particularly like.

ON ARRIVAL

All had off the street parking, behind a 6+ foot fence for privacy. Some of them even had sheets to place over your car for further privacy. None of them had large signs out the front. In general they’re the kind of place you could easily drive past without knowing what it is.

All of them had a front door you can’t open without being buzzed in. They must use the video cameras to judge whether you’re ok to enter.

When you’re buzzed in the receptionist meets you at the door & asks whether you’ve been there before. If you haven’t then they explain how everything works. They’re usually very friendly and try to put you at ease. They then take you to a small room with 2 chairs, or a small couch. If it’s busy they take you to a normal style waiting room where you have the joy of waiting with other men. This only happened once to me. I never made eye contact with anyone. Once a small room is ready you’re taken in and the door is usually shut.

THE SMALL ROOM

The small room is the room where you’re introduced to the girls. It usually has 2 chairs or a small couch, a side table with pornos and sexual health pamphlets, a TV with porn playing with the sound down, and a CCTV camera up in the corner looking at you. There are often signs on the wall with stuff like the standard rates and advice safe sex (with condoms) is mandatory by law, so don’t ask for unprotected sex.

THE RATES

Ok, so I’ve put this before the intros, because it’ll make more sense. There are two rates – one for the brothel and one for the sex worker. The brothel’s rate is purely time based. 20 mins, 30 mins, 45 mins, 1 hour – whatever. It might be about $150. It usually includes the basics of a “massage”, hand job, penis in vagina sex and oral on you, and you get to cum once. That’s all. The sex worker’s rate covers “extras”. What is defined as an extra, and how much the extras are, are entirely up to the individual sex worker. Typical extras include things like kissing the sex worker’s breasts, her kissing your body, you giving oral to the sex worker, kissing each other on the lips, fingering, deep throat blow job vs normal blow job. Basically anything over a hand job and penis in vagina sex.

To make the whole extras thing easier, some girls offer package deals, often called GFE or PSE

GFE = Girlfriend Experience and often includes things link you giving oral on the sex worker, you kissing the sex worker’s breasts, multiple cums.

PSE = Porn Star Experience and includes GFE plus extras like French kissing, deep throat blow job, toys, squirting etc.

THE INTROS

One by one the girls will come in and introduce themselves. They’re wearing something sexy. They ask you whether you have any questions.

Ok, I’ll break from the facts at this point to give an opinion… You may think you’re a big shot having women paraded in one at a time for your choice, but I reckon they’re judging you as much as you’re judging them. “Does this guy have money for extras?” / “Do I really want to fuck this guy with no teeth who smells like he hasn’t showered in a week?” / “I’ve just done two bookings in a row, I need a break” / “The rent’s due this week and I need the cash” / “I’ve already cleared $600 today, I don’t really need this” etc.

Back to the facts… The girls will ask whether you have any questions. This is the time to ask what’s included in the standard booking fee vs what’s extra. What are extras for some girls will be inclusions for others and vice versa. In general the hotter the girl the less is included in standard, and potentially the more extras will cost. I mean if you were the sex worker and you could charge more than the next girl because you’re smoking hot, wouldn’t you?

Some girls will swing in, show little interest and then leave. Others will sit down to have a chat. I guess it comes down to a lot of different factors (see above for a few examples). Once the girls have all come through the receptionist reappears and asks which girl you’d like. You pay the receptionist the standard rate.

THE BEDROOM

The girl you chose comes back & takes you to a bedroom. Depending on the brothel this might be a room with just a shower and bed, or it might be a room with shower, spa bath, massage table, theme room (African etc.). The walk to the bedroom is a good time to engage in a little small talk.

THE EXTRAS, THE INSPECTION & THE SHOWER

Once you reach the room you confirm what extras you want, and pay the girl in cash on the spot.

Rubber glove time. Time to inspect your junk for infection. If you show signs of infection then it’s a no go. Yes, there are rubber gloves and a light. In fact, if this doesn’t happen then I suggest you GTFO because if they didn’t inspect you then they didn’t inspect the other 100 guys with Herpes, Gonorrhoea etc.

After the inspection they tell you to have a shower to freshen up. Fair enough, but keep an eye on the time. From what I can tell, the clock starts ticking the moment the door shuts. I have a feeling some sex workers use this time to wind down the clock “have a quick shower, I’ll be back in 10 mins” WTF? I booked 30 mins, and 10 mins will be spent in the shower by myself?

The better places will have toothpaste, mouthwash and deodorant available for you to use after your shower.

THE START

Sometimes the sex worker will offer a massage at the start. I’m guessing this has 2 purposes: Firstly to break the ice between you and her and secondly, to further wind down the clock. Getting started with the sex can be weird. I mean really, both of you are about to have sex with someone you just met. Anyway – the better sex workers will find a way to make this less awkward.

THE SEX

How is the sex? Well there’s good and there’s bad.

The good:

• You get to have sex with women hotter &/or just plain different than you realistically would ever have been able to outside of this arrangement. Hot young surf chick? Hard rocking chick with tatts? MILF? Slender? Thick? Whatever – you have the opportunity to partake, depending on availability.

• You are paying for a service, so there is usually a degree customer service.

• The sex worker is usually experienced and knows how to help.

• You might be able to try a bunch of stuff you’ve never done before.

The bad:

• It never matches the high of making love to someone with whom you have a true connection.

• It never matches the passion of a one night stand, where you’ve both played the game all night and are now down for some hard core fucking.

• You’re having sex with someone who may have already had it several times today / dozens of times this week and despite their efforts, might not seem to be into it.

AFTERWARDS

After you finish they’ll ask whether you want a shower to clean up. If there’s time left they may give you (a generally shithouse – they’re sex workers, not masseurs after all) massage until time’s up.

There’s usually a timer of some sort – either their phone alarm, or a single phone ring to let you know time’s up. The girl will often take you out an exit separate from the entrance, for your privacy.

GENERAL OBSERVATIONS

• Hotter women charge more for the same service and vice versa.

• Some girls will put on music. It’s not just to set the mood – they know how long the playlist goes for and will use it to keep track of the time.

• Some girls will start faking orgasm when it gets close to time, in order to help make you cum. In fact I would say that the best sex workers are the ones who can fake it the best. Personally it’s unfulfilling to have sex with someone who doesn’t give feedback, even if it’s fake.

• Some girls will try to make you cum as fast as possible (they know how to). Remember – many places only allow one shot per session. If you were the sex worker would you prefer having sex for 30 mins or would you make the guy cum in 15 mins then take the next 15 having a shower and giving a massage?

• The one time I was put in the waiting room I saw 3 foreign guys (two of whom were mates) and one local. The local must have booked a GFE in advance and brought flowers for the girl. It was really sweet. The girl came to the waiting room in a nice dress to pick him up and took the flowers with a big smile. I thought she did a really good job for the guy.

• Some of the more popular girls get booked out in advance. I’m not at that level of knowing who’s who and when they’re working. But if you like someone then you should probably book them so you don’t miss out.

ETTIQUETTE AND TIPS

• Remember, the girls are human. Yes, they are providing a service, but that doesn’t mean you can be an arsehole.

• Try to build rapport in the small room. Chose a girl you have some chemistry with. Yes, there might have been a hotter girl but would you rather have sex with someone who breezed in for 15 seconds and didn’t give a fuck because she’s so hot she knows she’ll walk out and get booked straight away, or someone who’s only slightly less hot but took the time to sit down and chat with you for 2 minutes?

• You’re paying for a service, but remember point one – the girls are human. I reckon most girls would give better service to a guy who’s average looking but nice, clean, respectful and tries to build rapport vs a guy who’s hot but a complete fuckwit.

• Hygiene! Clean yourself before going. Have a shower, wash your hair, clean your junk (including your arse!), clean your teeth, use mouthwash and put on clean clothes BEFORE heading to the brothel. Yeh, you’ll have to have a shower again before you get there, but do you really think you’ll get the best service if you turn up stinking and flop out your dick for inspection only for it to stink of a hard day’s work, and covered in cheese from not being cleaned properly for days? Or if you’ve cleaned your dick immaculately but forgot to scrub your arse, which is only a couple of inches away. Or do you expect a girl to give a fantastic blow job when you’ve got a thick Amazon forest of pubes around your cock? Besides, if you have a proper shower before going then you don’t have to spend as long getting clean in the room, and get more time on the bed.

• Don’t try to haggle with the girls. Many of the places have signs on the walls asking you not to do this. I reckon it’d be pretty demeaning “So you want $50 extra to suck your tits? Best I can do is $30” Fuck that.

• Keep an eye on the time. Note what time you entered the room. As previously mentioned, some girls will try to wind down the clock by using shower time or massage time. Be aware of this.

• If you have a “large” dick then be aware that many Asian sex workers are, well, small down there, and it can be painful for them. They may not be able to give you the service you’re after because it’s physically painful for them.

Notorious ‘Nipple Man’ Nabbed After 3 Years As A Public Transit Pervert

He was nipped in the bud.

Police in Kyoto, Japan, have arrested a man long suspected of fondling his nipples while leering at schoolgirls riding the subway.

Toshihiro Fujikuma, 33, was charged last month with suspicion of indecent exposure after he allegedly exposed the lower half of his body to two teenage girls while on a train.

Fujikuma, a welfare caseworker in Ritto City who was fired from his job after his arrest, admitted to the charges, police said. He told investigators he “was stressed and had sexual motivations,” according to TokyoReporter.com.

He was released on bail pending further investigation.

Though Fujikuma was accused of flashing his bottom half, he was notorious all over Japan as “nipple man” or “nipple geezer.”

Numerous internet photos show a man identified as Fujikuma playing with his nipples while looking at women on trains. Fondling one’s nipples while wearing a shirt isn’t illegal in Japan, but it was disconcerting to the women who witnessed his activities.

Fujikuma first became known as “nipple man” in July 2013, according to the Daily Beast.

That’s when a woman tweeted, “This jerk, is playing with both his nipples while staring at my face. The way he stares ― it’s creepy, right?” 

Other victims posted their own photos. The consensus was that he was skeevy, but harmless.

But his alleged turn to buttocks flashing brought trouble. Kyoto police said they suspect him in several other acts of public indecency, according to the Daily Beast.

The arrest surprised Ritto City Mayor Masahiro Nomura, who told reporters he “can’t hide just how shocked I am, for a city official to lose trust through this horrible act,” according to NewsOnJapan.com. 

Nomura added: “I’d like to deeply apologize to our citizens, and will strive to restore trust as well as deliver strict punishment.”