Diary Entry: All Kinds of Orgasms Last Night

OrgasmLast night I had the greatest sex of my entire life.  Ryan and I have all kinds of sex. It can be wild, spontaneous, slow, erotic, fierce, masochistic, and even planned out (because of our time schedules). Sometimes we orgasm, sometimes we don’t.  Last night it was a combination of all the aforementioned and ending in great, wild sex with multiple cums on my end.

Ryan’s cock was rock hard as he lay on his back, so hard that he told me to ease up on the stroking because his skin was too tight that it felt like it could rip at any time.  I loosened my grip and moved both my hands up and down the length of his shaft.  I pushed his dick down between his legs so it almost touched the bed…then released.  It slapped his stomach hard.  This was one of those times I knew when he was ready to fuck me, I would be sore the next day.  It’s happened.  It doesn’t take much.

I looked down at his dick and I wanted to put my mouth around it.  My entire mouth was full.  I had to get his head down to the back of my throat to dip into the sloppy, wet spit that I need for lubrication.  I braced myself for the hardness as I opened my throat and mouth as wide as I can to maneuver him down.  I felt like a snake unhinging its jaws to swallow an ostritch egg. From a distance, it looks like I’m convulsing in a crouched position as I work his hard cock.  It’s not as easy when Ryan’s dick is at its maximum length and thickness.  I ease down, my chin is finally touching his balls.  It rarely happens, but I gag.  He makes a kegel muscle and his dick shifts in my throat over and over again.  I can feel my air running out and I lift up slightly.  As I do, I feel his hands on the back of my head and thighs press against my ear signaling me to stay.  I submit to him and stay the extra 15 seconds.  His legs part and I gasp for air.  I replenish and repeat.

His dick is smooth and shiny now, ready to be guided past the growth of hair between my legs.  I get on top of Ryan and slowly rub his penis over my pussy.  Ryan feels the wetness between my lips that has formed from the intense deepthroating.  “Oh, my God, you’re horny aren’t you?”  I face him as I ride gently. I’m careful not to be too hasty, like I were dipping my toes into a swimming pool.  I try to rock back and forth slowly, but the top side of his shaft is rubbing hard on the back of my vagina walls.  I inch back and grind again. Still rubbing hard on the underside of my pussy AND in the back. No matter where I move to, he was too hard for me to enjoy.  But Ryan knows what to do.

He tells me to get on my stomach.  His cock has no trouble finding my little hole; they’re drawn to each other.  He’s kind enough to pump his hips slowly at first.  I moan wearily as if I’m in pain.  In fact, I am.  With each movement of his body, I lie in wait, waiting to see if the next movement will be a deep, hard push against my cervix.  Honestly, those are the ones I crave, the ones that make my toes tingle, the ones that pinch a nerve down both my legs, the ones that send a spark from my g-spot to the backs of my knees – the ones that leave me in a delicious state of paralysis.  I tell him to go deep and slow, and to hold  his dick head at the very back; that is my sweet spot, the reason I love being taken from behind when he uses all his weight, his man-strength, to make me quiver from the inside out.  I can tolerate the pain just enough to where I do NOT want him to stop; I want him to keep going.   I continue to mumble, “Go deep and slow, go deep and slow,” and he obeys.  He moves slow and methodically.  Ryan knows that when he is this hard, fucking me fast and deep is too painful. If he goes fast, the pain shocks my entire body and makes me jerk in pain.  I need it slow.  He pushes into me with enough force to move us both off the end of the bed.  I feel my nipple rings drag beneath me as my breasts are pushed flat.  We reposition ourselves back to the middle of the bed.  I grab the edges of the mattress and try to keep from moving again, flattening myself in order to stay put.

An hour or so passes. An hour of deep, hard, slow fucking.  I am hypnotized by the intense feeling building inside my pussy.  The longer he holds the push toward, the more I feel my orgasm building.  Ryan knows this.  Just then he finds the spot.  I lift up my ass to make sure he can grind his dick as hard as he can.  I tell him to keep going.  He moves faster, slamming his penis into the back of me over and over.  I’ve been put into a trance.  Soon I hear a wet smacking sound and feel juices dripping down my ass and thighs.

Ryan confirms what I am feeling and tells me, “You squirted all over me….”

I moan and reply, “I’m sorry.”

He responds by changing his pace and slowly down, grinding deep inside my wet pussy, “There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

This is a great first cum of the evening.

His rhythmic pumping slows again before he lays back down on the bed.  I go straight for what’s in between his legs and suck away. I taste my juices, which Ryan describes as smelling like watermelons and apples.  I rub my face in his soaked balls and clean between his thighs, under his balls near his ass, and around his thighs.  I clean him off until there is no trace of me.  He tells me he wants to get back inside me.  I deepthroat him again and leave the sticky spit all the way down to his balls.  I get back on my stomach and wait for him to slip into my body.  His dick is harder than ever now.  I tell him again that I want him to go deep and slow.  He digs up in me like he’s shoveling snow.  Once again I’m put in a state of paralysis as he pushes all his weight onto my cervix.    He leans around me with his face and tells me to lick the sweat off his neck and forehead.  I obey.  After all, he has worked hard pleasing me and making me cum once already.  As his cock gets even harder and his balls tighten up, signaling to me that he’s about to cum, I grab the sheets even tighter.  Nothing we ever do comes close to the intensity of a huge strong man with his penis at it’s hardest, seconds before it cums.  I scream, trying to bear the pain for just a few moments longer.  He uses his dick to skewer me as my head is now off the bed from all the jarring.  His cum is so intense, I can feel the the first shot shoot inside me.  It’s very rare, but it has definitely happened.

Then an unusual thing happens: I cum again.  My most intense cums come from when I used a Hitachi, a.k.a. “back massager.”  Why?  Because my clit is stimulated with such an intensity that I’ve been known to cum within seconds of it making contact with my body.  My body muscles begin to tighten up as soon as I get the cum feeling; the g-spot behind my clit has been activated.  Ladies, you know what I mean.  The feeling cannot be stopped and we HAVE to cum otherwise we get frustrated.  As soon as Ryan came in me, those same muscles that I tighten when I have a Hitachi cum were triggered. When his dick was still twitching inside of me, spewing out the last bit of cum, my body was numb.  All I felt was my inner pussy muscles convulsing.  I told him to keep pumping in me.  This type of “hands-free” cum has only happened to me a handful of times, pun intended.  I noticed that this only happens when HE is cumming in me.  It’s as if HIS cum triggered MY cum.  If his orgasm is short, as in he pumps just a few times, or he doesn’t press back in me long enough, I absolutely will not cum.

What a great second cum and third cum for the night.   If you missed the third, that was when Ryan released himself inside me.  I strongly believe my body or mouth making Ryan cum is equally as satisfying to me.  I love draining his body and holding his fluids for the rest of the night.  His orgasms alone satisfy me completely.

Ryan, exhausted with a sweaty body and our cum on his penis, then asks me if I want to use my toy to get a clitoral stimulated orgasm.  I KNOW for a fact I’ll cum, so why not get all four kinds of cums in one night?  I get my toy.  Ryan lays to my side, sucks on my nipples, and starts fingering my cum filled pussy.  Sometimes he will fuck me with his dick as I do this — not today.  I can feel his wet dick starting to soften on my thigh.  He scoops out our cum with his fingers and wipes them down my crack to my anus, then proceeds to stick a finger there in there too.  Two minutes pass and he says to me, “My dick can make you cum faster than this.”  Funny, because today it was true.   Soon though, my toes start to curl and I can feel the jittery sensation in my pussy.  He moves his fingers in my ass and pussy faster as he  also swirls his tongue around my nipple.  I squeeze tight around his fingers and scream out that I am going to cum. The spasms continue for another minute before finally subsiding.  I feel my body pouring onto the bed as if someone turned on a faucet between my legs.  Whether it was my orgasm or his huge load, my body drains as if I was having my own “cum shots.”   I rest for a moment before getting up to take a shower.  I look on the bed and see two dark spots where the sheet has been soaked, one where I squirted and other where my body just was.

What a great fourth cum for the night.

Although I have different ways to cum, this was the first time I had all four different types of cum feelings in one night, so I figured I would write it out for keepsake.  Also, I do not want to confuse my above blog with multiple orgasms, because for me that is a bit more common.   Mostly through clitoral stimulation, but that is a whole other topic for a whole other blog.  Most of the time, my clitoral orgasms comes in twos, if you know what I mean.

Her Perspective on the Anal Butt Plug

Wearing a plug with see through panties is Ryan's mating call.
Wearing a plug with see through panties is Ryan’s mating call.

Original Article:  To me, seeing a pink, rubber anal plug is not as sexy as seeing a stainless steel one with a pink or blue diamond-esque cap. There’s nothing wrong with the pink plug – I have one myself. But when I first saw the shiny, metal anal plug, it looked regal, provoking viewers to draw their own conclusions as to what purpose such a fancy piece of metal served

Besides the aesthetic purpose, I assumed that it can also be served as a placeholder for a near future ass-fucking. The actual circumference of the the stem of the smallest plug is approximately the size of a #2 pencil.  So although it’s not too wide around, it can be used to “semi-stretch” myself in preparation for anal sex.  When I found out there were three sizes, I knew it had to be true. Starting with the smallest size and working your way up, all three were meant to stay put. The spade-shape is meant for your sphincter muscle to grasp around the narrowest point. Trust me, that thing is not coming out no matter how hard you push. I have to pull on it tight and my reflex is to squeeze. So there is no danger of it “accidentally coming out” when you’re walking.

When I put it on in the morning, I use a few drops of lube on the tip and swirl it around a few times before working it into my anus. I relax my muscles as I carefully slide it in until it’s nestled comfortably in my body. I alternate tightening and relaxing times in order to lubricate the stem and maneuver the plug into the perfect position. The first day I wore the smallest plug was quite comfortable. It was the outside that was slightly uncomfortable because when I moved around in my chair, the cap would pinch on my butt cheek skin. The next day I wore the second size and not only was the narrowest part slightly wider in circumference, but the entire plug itself pushed in me deeper too. I knew that I had to spend a little more time in stage 2 than I did in stage 1.  Eventually it got to the point to where I’d be lying in bed and I’d ask him to go ahead and put it in me, like I’d just asked him to turn off the light.

But no matter which size I have in, there was one thing that was guaranteed: Ryan was going to get in my ass that night. Wearing it makes me feel sexy and kinky. I have a dirty little secret that only Ryan and I knew about. It reminds me of our intimacy, our open-mindedness, our love of seeking new experiences together. I never dreamt of doing, let alone enjoying, 95% of the things we do. But we grew as a couple, experiencing so many “firsts” together.  I haven’t had many issues with anal sex, especially when I initiate it.  Sometimes my pussy would get so wet when I’d ride him that I’d use my own juices to slide my ass down onto his dick.  I would lift up, smear my wetness on the outside of my hole, and slip down smoothly onto his cock without one single tear. When Ryan sees the little jewel between my ass cheeks, he knows exactly what’s on my mind.  It’s similar to a mating call and a day-long way to turn him on without touching him.  I would even go as far as saying it’s more of a symbolic representation of my sexuality.  Knowing that the plug is in leaves the option of ass-fucking open.  Sometimes we don’t, even if I’ve been wearing it all day.

I haven’t done any research on others’ experiences, but I have made my own discoveries:

Discovery 1:  It’s hard to dry off after I pee at work.   It gets under the jewelry and is hard to dry.  Being at work isn’t the most convenient place to care for a butt plug.

Discovery 2:  There is no need to wear it the day after you have anal sex.  Why?  Because I’d say most dicks are wider than the jewel and for the next few days my anus will be much looser.  This means, the smaller sizes can possibly come out during different situations (see discovery 3).

Discovery 3:  Although your ass muscles are tight and strong, under some circumstances the plug can get pushed out.  For instance, one day I raced into the bathroom after work  only to find Ryan in there.  With my pants already half down and my body ready to release, I knew I couldn’t make it to another bathroom in our house so I jump in the shower, squatted down, and released (yes, I peed in the shower!).  I believe the force of my muscles holding and suddenly relaxing coupled with the squatting position (maybe helping to spread my cheeks) caused the plug to pop out. Surprisingly enough, I didn’t even realize it until I heard the heavy thud beneath me.  This was with a smaller size and the day after having anal sex.  A lot of different variables.

Discovery 4:   When removing the plug make sure you have a moist wipe ready to clean it.  Your anus isn’t the cleanest area on your body so don’t be grossed out if it’s a bit dirty.

I love wearing my plug.  I don’t feel there are any negative outcomes, physically or otherwise, by using one even for the length of a workday.  My only drawback is the limited colors and styles that are available (unlike tongue piercing barbells).  This may be a good thing because I might amass an extensive collection that could require its own bathroom drawer.

Q & A: Premature Ejaculation?

pre ejaculationMark from the internet:

Hi! I have a problem when having sex. Even before we both start enjoying sex, I already cum.  We usually start with the 69  then go on to have sex.  She takes a bit long to orgasm. I really would like us both to enjoy sex. What can I do to postpone my ejaculation and make her climax earlier? PLEASE HELP!

Venice’s response:

Hi Mark. Thank you for your question. Do you and your partner engage in any kind of foreplay? Because I noticed that you said “We usually start with the 69 then go on to have sex.” To me, that sounds like you are both stuck in a sexual routine.

First off, I applaud your desire to please her during sex. Since you said you ejaculate too early, it is obviously pleasing to you. But now you want her to enjoy it with you. I suggest changing your routine and regular methods, positions, locations – basically anything that is out of the ordinary for you. It’s not just about the orgasm for a woman. You have to take in many factors when being intimate with a woman. Begin by showering her with compliments about her body, how much you appreciate her, how you’ve thought about her all day, how you miss her smell. All these things build up an anticipation in both you and her. She will realize that it’s not just the sex that you want from her. Fuck in different places in the house. Get frisky in public (please don’t get arrested). Anything that can spice up your sex life.

Also remember that foreplay doesn’t necessarily mean the five minutes before you penetrate her. I like for Ryan to grab my ass in the middle of the store while I grope his dick. I smell his neck and kiss his ear during dinner. He squeezes my tits…well, pretty much whenever he can! And I love it! It shows me that he loves me, he’s turned on by me, and he’s ready to fuck me.

As for making her climax earlier, change your routine, as I suggested earlier. Change the actual physical contact (lick her feet and work your way up, or lick her everywhere except her tits and pussy). Use toys, massage her, build up her anticipation. Her mind is already thinking “we’re going to 69, then fuck.” Give her the unknown, the excitement of not knowing what you have planned for her.

I commend you for taking the steps in the right direction, which is to make sure she enjoys sex with you. Because if she’s bored or just not excited, she may find other ways to get excited.

Ryan’s response:

Honestly, I have never had a premature ejaculation issue.  Although I admit, Venice will play around and give me a hard time every now and then if we experience my version of a “premature” ejaculation.  My version doesn’t happen in minutes though, it could be 30 minutes into sex and I will be grinding in and out of her body talking dirty, no orgasm feeling whatsoever.  Venice will then give me that ‘oh god, you are doing it so perfect‘ face and quietly whisper or loudly scream, “Keep going, I’m getting that cum feeling.”   I immediately feel my body wanting to orgasm from that point forward.  Remember, this is after having sex for 30 minutes with no orgasm feeling at all.  I mean, I feel like a workhorse that can literally fuck her all night, no breaks.   If she catches me on the wrong night with, “Oh god, you are going to make me cum,” I can go from 0 to 100  in just a few seconds.   In my opinion, this is just pure excitement and anticipation.  If I know she loves it, I love it more.  If I know she feels like she is going to cum, I will also feel like I am going to cum.  Whether we are in sync or my brain overreacts to the idea of her cumming because of my dick, I can immediately get that feeling when she tells me she feels “it.”

However, there have been times when I release first.  If this happens, I will offer to go down on her afterwards or offer to let her use her toy/vibrator.  I am multi orgasmic so even if I cum once, I can go again.   Most of the time though, she reaches climax before I even start, and we do this on purpose.  I will use her vibrator or our hands during very light intercourse, to stimulate her clit.   I won’t get worked up or fuck her hard, just a real nice slow fuck while we play with her sensual spots  and get her off.  What I mean by that is, I will move slow and let her feel the sensation of my erect penis being inside her vagina or ass, whether I am sitting up or laying off to the side of her.  I will slowly dig deep inside her and grind while we stimulate her clit.  She will usually orgasm quickly with direct clit stimulation, and as she cums, she will pull me in and beg to be fucked hard.  This is when I start.  The positions change, the speed change, the shit talk starts.    Sometimes Venice will cum again, but it isn’t on my mind.   It’s open season.

With that being said, Venice has also told me that she is equally as satisfied feeling me cum inside her as she is when she cums herself.  Whether it be a mental thing or not, she has taught herself to enjoy feeling and seeing me at my most vulnerable moment.  She loves it.  I’ve noticed lately she will even talk me through everything she is feeling during sex:  like how it feels when my penis head rubs her walls, how she can feel the texture of the veins on my dick rubbing through her lips, and the way my balls feel slapping against her ass (warm, cold, full, heavy),  everything.  Just last night she told me she felt my penis pushing very hard against the back walls of her vagina, and as I came, she could actually feel the sperm push out of my urethra hole and grind against her back wall and my penis head.  In fact, she moaned, “Oh god, I can feel it coming out of you.”  This idea and feeling made her orgasm.   Not only that, she laid there after I was done and said she couldn’t stop her vagina from twitching.

How does that help you?  It doesn’t really.  I got carried away.

Quick ideas:  You may try numbing cream to help you desensitize your penis so it doesn’t feel “so” good it immediately makes you cum.  You can try wearing a thick condom which has been known to take a lot of the feeling away.  You can try thinking about something other than sex, like playing a round of golf in your head or saying the alphabet backwards.   You can masturbate prior to having sex.  This can naturally help you last longer even if you do not have a premature ejaculation issue.

As far as helping her enjoy sex more?  It’s a mental issue.  If she is open minded she can find a lot of reasons to love and enjoy sex.  If she sees sex as something she does at night to make you happy, and every now and then she can orgasm too, it may not be such an easy task.  Not only that, you have to find out what makes her tick.  Talk to her and find out what she likes, what turns her on, what she enjoys the most about your foreplay.  Although above was more of my own personal story, there is a lot of things you can snatch out of that story and try for yourself.

Wiki’s response:

When deciding the appropriate treatment, it is important for physician to distinguish PE as a “complaint” versus PE as a “syndrome”.  About 20 years ago, PE was classified into “lifelong PE” and “acquired PE”. Recently, a new classification of PE was proposed based on controlled clinical and epidemiological stopwatch studies, and it included 2 other PE syndromes: “natural variable PE” and “premature-like ejaculatory dysfunction”. Only individuals with lifelong PE with IELT <1 to 1.5 minutes should require medication as a first option, along with or without therapy. For those who fall into one of the other categories, treatment should consist of patient reassurance, behavior therapy, and/or psychoeducation to explain irregular early ejaculation is a normal variation.

Dapoxetine (Priligy) is a short-acting selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) marketed for the treatment of premature ejaculation. Dapoxetine is the only drug with regulatory approval for such an indication. Currently, it is approved in several European countries, including Finland, Sweden, Portugal, Austria and Germany. Dapoxetine is currently waiting for U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approval after concluding the Phase III study, which included participants from 25 other countries, including the United States. In this diverse population, dapoxetine significantly improved all aspects of PE and was generally well tolerated.

Tramadol (Ultram or Tramal) is an FDA approved atypical oral analgesic for mild pain. It is atypical because it is similar to an opioid, is an agonist at the mu receptor, but also is similar to an anti-depressant in that it increases levels of serotonin and norepinephrine.  Tramadol also has few side effects, low abuse potential, and increases (IELT) 4-20 fold in greater than 90% of men.

Clomipramine (Anafranil) is sometimes prescribed to treat PE. One side effect of the drug can help delay ejaculatory response. The side effect is described by the Mayo Clinic as “Increased [sic] sexual ability, desire, drive, or performance.”

Desensitizing topical medications that are applied to the tip and shaft of the penis can also be used to treat premature ejaculation. These topical medications are applied on an “as needed” basis 10-15 minutes before anticipated sexual activity and have fewer potential systemic side effects as compared to pills taken orally. However, use of these topical medications have in the past been associated with loss of penile sensation, and reduction of sensation for the partner due to exposure.  Penis insensitivity and transference to the partner are greatly reduced when using new topical anesthetic sprays based on absorption technology which enable the active ingredient to penetrate through the through the surface skin of the penis(ie stratum corneum) to the sensory nerves which reside in the dermis. Any residual surface medication can be wiped off before sexual activity to further reduce partner concerns.

Another method, intracavernous pharmacotherapy, involves injecting a vasodilator drug directly into the penis to help men control premature ejaculation and maintain their erection. It has been proven to be effective in over seventy percent of test patients.[citation needed] This method is used by companies such as Florida Men’s Medical Clinic, Boston Medical Group and others.

Let Your Man Be A Man

Let A Man Be A Man
Let A Man Be A Man

Part of my transformation to becoming a woman was to pinpoint my shortcomings and rectify them.  Just because Ryan and I picked each other over the billions of people on this planet doesn’t mean everything is perfect.  I had to step back and look at myself in another light, a light that wasn’t very flattering.  I’m not saying that I’m right or wrong, but I do know through experience what works for me.

In looking at myself and seeing the way I treated Ryan and sex over the years, I’ve come to the conclusion that a woman should never suppress a good man from being a man.  Let me try to  explain.

We know that men are naturally built more physically superior to women: they’re taller and for the most part, stronger.  They also have deeper voices that connote aggression.  It’s the sound of the baritone coupled with non-physical aggression that can submit others without having to use physical force.  Women can learn to harness this aggression in a positive way to use it to their advantage; this means realizing that a man is capable of violence (protecting his woman during a bar fight, carrying her out of a burning building, etc.).  We look for these characteristics in a man and we are drawn to them for survival aspects.  Additionally, society has also taught us that men wield this natural power and have the ability to overwhelm more delicate creatures. Yes, I know there are exceptions.  But for the most part, men are the more physically superior sex.  As women, we learn to control this physical strength and make it our own.    I don’t want to get to far ahead of myself, so let’s stick to our men for now.

One way men release their aggression is through the use of force.  They punch walls, they break things with bats, they lift weights, they train and release stress with physical activity, and yes some even fight or start fights.  Unfortunately, for the men who can’t control themselves, their significant other can become a target of this aggression.  These aren’t the men I am talking about in this article, the ones that become violent with a woman, those men are garbage.  A real man uses his natural strength and aggression to protect what he loves the most, his wife and family. Because men have this natural advantage over women, they should never use it against them.

This is where trust plays a big part in a relationship.  If you have seen your man at his worst, his all-time low and he still wouldn’t think of hurting you, you know you can open the doors to physically trusting him.  If you have seen him angry and he still protects you physically and emotionally, then how could you not trust him when he is happy?  When I say happy, I mean during sex.  Most men are at their happiest when they are inside their woman.  The drug-like reaction to sex gives men a natural high.  I’ve given Ryan a blow job and watched his eyes roll back in his head like my mouth was a heroin injection.  Sometimes he will mumble something that makes no sense, like he is completely gone from this world.   I get this same reaction when I ride him or when he is going deep and slow inside me.  This is when he is at his happiest.  Maybe not in life, but daily.  Nothing will make him feel the way I make him feel each day. With that being said, again, if you can trust your man would never physically harm you when he is upset or angry, then you can trust he would never purposely hurt you when he is happy.  As his aggression comes out during sex (commanding you to a certain position, pulling your hair, pinning your arms down, fucking you hard and using his dick to punish the bottom of your pussy, spanking, etc.) by all means, let him be the man his instincts are telling him to be.   Trust that your man will never really hurt you.  These inner desiress are what makes a man tick.  The more you let him experience, the more he will appreciate you.

A prime example of this is our HIDDEN CAMERA video.  I placed my cell phone on a chair at the end of the room and called Ryan into the room.  He seemed pretty surprised since we don’t usually fuck in any rooms aside from the master bedroom. My intent was to record how I could take the reins in the bed, be in control, and be the dirty, nasty woman he loves that I can become.  I took his pants and boxer briefs off and sucked his cock, making him moan with every undulating wave of my throat around his manhood.  I do this as a warm up.  Before I knew it, our roles were reversed and he was giving me sexual commands.   I listened and did everything he said without hesitation.  As he picked me up off the bed and spun me around preparing to fuck my face, I took the role of the submissive female he needed at that moment and let him totally take me.  After getting my face fucked for a few minutes, he turned me over and rammed his tongue down deep in my asshole, wetting me up just enough to make sure his dick would slide in my anus without ripping it.  This wasn’t my plan, and the young me definitely would not let him take my ass without a couple months notice and a lot of begging.  My original intent was to take control and dominate him.  Not with strength, but with my sexual prowess.  But once the animal instinct in him was roused, I knew what I had to do: I had to let him be a man.  To  suppress his urge would be emasculating him.  Never suggest to your man that you do not want him to be a man, especially when you know his intentions are good.  A man needs to feel like an animal, he needs to lead his pack.  It’s his instinct to ravish his woman and make her swoon underneath him.

I strongly believe that it’s crucial for a man to be able to show his manhood, not only in day-to-day life, but also in the bedroom.  Not every single moment, but a woman must allow him to “flex his testosterone.”  It’s a man’s job to protect a woman with his strength, that’s why a woman seeks out the taller, stronger, and all around more manlier male. Women are drawn to someone who can protect her. These are the genes she wants to pass to her offspring to ensure survival.  It’s instinctual in all species. Once a man has found his mate, it means he has found someone who has made him happy and complete. His priority is to PROTECT the one thing in the world that makes him happy.  Protecting his woman is protecting his own happiness.  The better the woman treats him, the more he wants to protect her. Not just physically, financially, or from harm, but also protecting her heart.  He doesn’t want her to experience pain and will do whatever he can to keep her from heartache.  So it goes without saying that the protection he provides for her will include shielding her heart from other men taking it from him.  If the threat isn’t physical, a good man will better himself to make sure she sees no better options.   His attention is hers.

This is how a woman tames her beast.   This is also how a woman abuses her own new powers, especially younger women.  Once a woman realizes she controls his happiness, it’s easy for her to ween him, giving him just enough to satisfy his urges. This weening process usually goes unnoticed, but it happens.  It happened to me.  Not maliciously, but I went from giving Ryan sex each day because I wanted it, to telling him he wants it too much.   What could emasculate him more than making him feel wrong for wanting his woman too much?   Even though that is the way I felt, I was young-minded.   Ryan took what he could get and slowly became more of zoo-raised lion, a tamed beast.  Although he remained loyal, mentally I wasn’t there for him during sex.  I may never have an answer for why.   And even though we were still in love, I felt like he no longer cared about protecting my attention or heart.  This could have been the beginning of the end, for both of us.

There is nothing wrong with trying to help your man become a better person, but don’t emasculate him.   By no means am I innocent of this.  I remember clearly giving Ryan dirty looks and saying things like,  “Please do not hold my head down against your crotch, I can do that myself.”  He was a good man, so for the next few years he probably never touched my head again.  If he did, I would stop sucking and glare at him.   My young mind didn’t grasp that I was turning my man into something I didn’t want.  I wanted a man, but my own ego got in the way of letting him be a man.  I was in a tug-of-war and my ego was beating the lady inside me.  I loved anal orgasms, but I hated he wanted to fuck my ass.  I wanted to taste all of him, but hated thinking he would feel so good about cumming in my mouth.   I could see a porn and get horny watching a man shoot his cum in the porn stars face, but I didn’t want Ryan to do that to me.  If he asked, I would always let him, but my attitude or body language let him know I wasn’t happy.  This took its toll.  With age, I learned that I controlled whether our sex was good or bad.  I controlled what could happen and what couldn’t happen.  I controlled where he could cum or if I would help him jack off onto his own stomach.  I’ve learned with a good man that wants to keep his woman happy and protect her, will in essence give up his manhood for her.  I never wanted Ryan to quit being the man I fell in love with and it was this thought process that led me to burying the little girl inside me.

So I asked myself, do I want a boy that makes love to me like a high school kid that is overly worried about me being mad or upset after sex?  Or do I want a  man who takes his woman and makes her beg for more.   My attitude and limits control our sex life.  I decided to grow up and let go of the invisible rope and quit playing tug-of-war with myself.  Now I prefer him grabbing my head and holding me against his crotch.   I love feeling his strong grip on my head.  I want him to roll me over and take my ass.  Our best sex is when he is in my ass and I get to be a total woman and scream for him to take all of me.  I can’t even fuck him anymore without asking him to hold my arms as tight as he can above my head.  I want to feel overwhelmed by his manhood:  his dick, his body, his strength, his attitude, his aggression.  I want to feel his 6’5″ frame squeeze my shoulders and arms as his hips push his long engorged dick  in my body as hard as he can.  I want to be his stress relief and show him how resilient a strong woman can be.  No matter how much effort he puts into his thrusts, he knows I want it all.  I want him to know I am the one that gives him more pleasure than anyone ever could.  I want to show him I have no limits because I trust he would never hurt me.   I want to feel his entire body, machine-like, turn into putty in my hands as he unloads his semen inside me.   I want to hold him in my arms and tell him I am okay as I listen to him catch his breath.  I want to run my fingers through his hair and tell him he is the best man I’ve ever had or known.   This is my role as a woman.

Let a man be a man.

Q&A: How do you enjoy sex if you have it everyday?

1287554731Mark via the internet

If I read your bio correctly, you guys have sex once or twice a day?  I am curious how a couple can even enjoy sex if they have it every day.  Do you change positions non stop, talk different and role play, or add anything extra each day to make sex more enjoyable?   I have sex with my wife maybe twice a week and we are both scared that if we had it more, we may end up hating it.  We do different positions and even role play, but I am just boggled how anyone could have sex with each other every single day and it not get completely old and boring.

Thanks guys.

Venice’s response:

I believe that the excitement of sex doesn’t just come from the sexual act itself, but from the closeness and intimacy you feel when you’re with each other.  To me, if you want to orgasm and you’re using your partner to do it, you’re already going about it the wrong way.  Sex shouldn’t be used as a time to get your rocks off.  It should be used to tell your partner that you missed her throughout the day, that you thought about her all day, that you couldn’t wait to get home to her.  It should be used to remind her of your love for her, of how her body feels on you, under you, etc.  Making love is another form of communication.  It’s like saying, “I love you and missed you” with our bodies.  Do you ever get bored or tired of hearing your partner say he/she loves you before she goes to bed or leaves for work?  If you are in love, I wouldn’t think so.  Well, making love or having sex with someone you love, is our body’s way to communicate and say we love each other.  It doesn’t get old.  It’s like naughty snuggling.  Don’t count the number of times you have sex a week.  If you feel like you want to be intimate with her, kiss her arms or her neck.  If the time is right, you will both be put in a loving, intimate mood.  On the other hand, we do use sex to satisfy our sexual needs.  I say this because a guy can jack off and a girl can grab her Hitachi Magic Wand and that would be end of that.  When we are feeling frisky and adventurous, we cut straight to the chase.  I get him hard by stroking him and talking shit, or I devour his cock and then slide myself down on him.  We’re open about the things we want to try and are constantly changing.  Sometimes it works, sometimes not.  But that is the beauty of a relationship: your partner is there to fulfill your fantasies and fetishes without judgment.  My time with Ryan doesn’t get boring.  See how I said “time”?  It’s not about sex and cumming, it’s about a break from our hectic schedules to be with your mate.

Ryan’s response:

Me and Venice  have sex twice a day, every day.  We wake up with each other and go to bed with each other.  This isn’t something we have always done, but as we grew and learned each other, we realized that to keep a relationship strong, you have to work at it.

If I want strong healthy teeth, I brush and floss daily.  If I want a strong healthy body, I work on it each day.  Whether it be eating properly, cardio, or lifting weights in the gym, it’s a lifestyle.  A relationship is no different.  If you want a healthy strong relationship, you have to be intimate and work on it each day.   If I go to the gym with a negative attitude and tell myself, “Oh my god, this is so boring to sit here and exercise.”  Guess what?  It’s going to be boring.   The first thing you adjust is your attitude.  A good sex life is a lifestyle.   If you keep a positive attitude towards sex, then sex will be amazing.  If you wake up in the morning and remind yourself how much you love your partner, how can that get boring?  Not only will sex be amazing, but your mind will be preoccupied with your partner throughout the day.  If you know each night that no matter what, you will get to experience your partner’s positive attitude, enthusiasm, and body, the pressure free atmosphere of sex becomes the most relaxing part of your day.    I do not ask myself if I will get lucky tonight, I do not have to.  I can kiss on my wife and hug her without her feeling I am doing this to get something back.  Whether I kiss her or not, we both know, we are going to be intimate with each other.  There are no hidden agendas behind our affection.  There is no resentment towards how we treat each other to get what we want, because our sex life is our lifestyle.  We do for each other because we want too, we have sex each night because we understand it will keep our relationship strong and healthy.  How could a man or woman who sleeps with each other each morning and night, sharing intimate moments,  ever want or accidentally cheat?  How could a man who wakes up to his wife giving him enthusiastic oral sex ever want oral sex from any other woman?  The same question for a woman, except worded slightly different.  How could a woman want attention from another man if her partner is enthusiastic about giving her attention, whether it be in the bedroom or in conversation.

I can type forever regarding the importance of intimacy, but let me answer the question more directly.  Does watching TV 4 hours a day get boring?  Does sitting on the computer each night for hours get boring?  Does looking down on your phone playing Angry Birds and tweeting get boring?   Does playing with your kids and spending family time every day get boring?   People do things daily, as a part of their own lifestyle that never gets boring.  It’s what they know.  How could spending time with the person you picked, out of billions of people, to spend the rest of your precious life with it, ever get boring?   Now add being naked, whispering dirty in each others ears, smelling each others odors and feeling the warmth of their skin on yours, while taking this huge organ that only grows for her, and sliding in and out of her body ever get boring?  How could a woman not want her man hard inside her, pumping like a machine, waiting for that moment his body releases all his DNA for her insides to feel and keep.   Love and sex  don’t die with time, if done right, they get stronger.  With the right attitude it gets more powerful.  As time goes on, instead of your sex life fading into obscurity, it builds and grows into something stronger and more intense.  The things you learn, the dirty talk you gradually get braver to say, the ideas and physical feelings you never noticed, now intensified.

I’ve always loved sex, but nothing compares to having sex when both partners promise to always be as enthusiastic as they can be, no matter what is going on around them.   The more I am intimate with Venice, the more I fall in love with her.   It’s hard work staying in love, but having sex and being intimate each day makes that task so much easier.