Tag: boring sex

February 9, 2022

From not having orgasms as a teenage girl, to guaranteed orgasms as a woman.

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Female Orgasm - Jada KaiFrom not having orgasms as a teenage girl, to guaranteed orgasms as a woman.

I can remember telling my husband when I first met him that I could not have orgasms.  I had played with shower heads, combs, and my fingers, but other than relaxing me, I wasn’t orgasmic.   The good thing is, I was naturally passive so I got a lot of pleasure from making him orgasm.  Although sex felt good, it wasn’t something I believe I could cum from.   Shortest blog ever?   End of story?

Well, I guess the story could end there if girls didn’t have stubborn men with egos and high sex drives.  Me not being able to achieve an orgasm was not something my future husband accepted.  After realizing oral sex was nothing like a shower head, a comb, or my fingers, orgasms was definitely something I could achieve.  However, it took my husband hours at a time staying down on me, not moving his head or body, no noise in the room (neighbors talking too loud next door or a dog barking could throw me off), and me laying as still as possible until I exploded.   The good news?  I was orgasmic!   The bad news?  It was probably very boring!  In fact, I have learned now being bisexual and really into women, most women cannot make me cum for this exact reason.  Truthfully, most of them do everything perfect.  The licking, sucking, and sometimes dig their tongues deep inside me.  But unlike porn, just because you do everything right, doesn’t mean I’m going to cum in minutes.  I’m definitely not.  In fact, I have only came once with another woman.   Although I never explained to her what I needed, she stayed down on me for well over an hour and was probably bored out of her mind!  But she did it!

Enter sex toys.

guaranteed orgasmPrior to sex toys my sex life consisted of my husband going down on me for probably an average of 45 minutes to an hour.   After I orgasmed, he would then have sex with me for his own orgasm.   We both knew I couldn’t cum through sex, so we just took turns.  And then one day we walked into a local sex shop and my life changed.  From toys that vibrate and suck on your clit, like the Satisfyer pro 2, to wands that make me convulse and twitch in seconds.

I remember coming home from the sex shop on that first night and holding a vibrator up to my clit while I was being fucked.  I came 9 times in about 10 minutes.    No longer was I not orgasmic through sex, I was now multi-orgasmic.  In fact, I’d say sex toys taught me how to relax my mind during sex and rather than needing my husband have to be a statue that didn’t move anything but his tongue, I trusted in the process.  This relaxation of the mind led me to be orgasmic through sex, without any extra toys and tools!

So I am a believer in finding a good sex toy to slowly teach yourself to relax.  It takes all the pressure off having an orgasm and tends to let things happen naturally (and quickly).  

Now, just because you have learned to make us orgasm, try not to ruin them once you’ve hit the promise land!

 

December 29, 2021

Q & A: What Are Some Creative Ways To Please My Wife Sexually?

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boring sexQ & A: What Are Some Creative Ways To Please My Wife Sexually?

While checking my search history I found a reddit post from what appears to be my wife unhappy with our sex life.   In searching around for things to spice up my marriage or find extreme things to try I happen to find your blog.   Although it is not my normal routine to email a sex blog, I figured why not.   Is there anything you can suggest for me to try with my wife in the bedroom, that isn’t too extreme, but not  boring?  Also, a bit embarrassing, I tend to orgasm quickly when we do have sex.  This is partially the reason that I have slowed down my sex life because it makes me feel insecure.  I guess I’d rather give her no sex rather than quick sex because I can’t control my ejaculation.   I know I just hit you with a load there, but any advice is appreciated.

Venice’s response  to please my wife sexually:

I actually laughed out loud reading “I just hit you with a load there…”  Oh boy.  You couldn’t even make it through the email without losing your load huh?

I’m joking!

There are so many things you can do to add an adventure to your bedroom.  Or how about, you journey outside your bedroom?  Nothing can make you feel more free during sex than walking on a beach and making out in the sand.   Or finding a nice private spot and having sex in your car.  It gets the adrenalin going and can be extremely fun.  

You can also try sex toys.  A vibrator or wand in the bedroom can be really fun.  It can also help with your premature ejaculation issue!  I will explain and demonstrate how.  Rather than getting on top of her and going full speed, lay to the side of her.  This sideways position will keep you from going too fast.   While sideways, let her use a vibrator or a wand on her body.  It will be easy for her to play with her clit while you lay to the side.  I believe that you will learn something new about your wife while she uses a wand.  She’s cums fast too!  Because the wand is no joke.  I have probably had an orgasm in 30 seconds while using a wand in this p0sition. 

So did I handle your load well?!  

Ryan’s response  to please my wife sexually:

One of the ways I would suggest is trying a hollow strap on!  Whether you are large, average, or small, this adds a whole new element to the bedroom.  If you are into role play, you can even talk to her about the idea of pretending to be someone else.  To add to the spice, suggest her wearing a blindfold so she can’t see you.  Her mind and imagination can be your greatest asset in the bedroom.  Slide on the hollow strap on, make sure she is lubricated properly, and give her a whole new sensation.  This may drive her wild.  It also can totally help with your premature ejaculation issue, as  you will have a lot less sensation while using this toy.

Disclaimer:  I have tried this with Venice and she eventually had to stop me.  The stretch was so intense that she just couldn’t handle it.  However, the sore feeling she felt for days afterwards kept her wet and horny.  She loved feeling like she had been totally fucked and stretched out.  

To be honest, it’s hard suggesting to another couple what is or isn’t boring in the bedroom. This is totally subjective.  I mean, I can think of 100s of things that can make your sex life much less boring, but those things may all be too extreme for you, or her.  My advice is to talk with her, find out the things she wants to try, ask her about her fantasies, and see if you can find ways to make her those things come true.  If you haven’t tried sex toys, ask her if she would like to try.  Really, as always, it comes down to communication.  She is asking her questions on reddit, you are asking your question on a sex blog.  You both need to sit down and ask each other these questions!