Tag: boring sex

November 30, 2022

Q&A: My boyfriend’s ass crack smells so bad when I go down on him, what to do?

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boyfriend's ass crack smellsQ&A: My boyfriend’s ass crack smells so bad when I go down on him, what to do?

So my boyfriend’s ass crack smells putrid.  I’ve been going out with him for a few months now. I gotta say, his overall hygiene down there leaves a little to be desired but a) I’m down to clown regardless and b) I don’t really know how to bring this up!  How do I tell him?

Now, he’s a morning shower-er, which poses a problem because we always get nasty in the evenings or in bed before the showering happens. I myself am an evening shower and have modelled exemplary hygiene since the get go.

I can deal with a bit of a musty peen, I get it, can’t be minty fresh all the time, but sometimes I can smell terrible smells wafting up from his butt crack and when there is a peen halfway down my throat it really does induce gagging, and not in a sexy fun way.

I’ve also seen him shower, and I don’t think he actually approaches the crack with soap. Or even at all.

Now, how does one tell someone to wash their ass better and that sometimes their junk doesn’t smell great (also, could the man have penile thrush, because sometimes it smells like thrush to me)? How does one navigate this conversation sensitively?

Also, has this happened to anyone else? In my years of oral and stuff, I’ve not been near a but that smells so strong! Have I been lucky thus far?

boyfriend's ass crack smells badVenice’s response to smelly dick

You answered your own question.  Have a talk with  him and ask him take a shower prior to y’all getting freaky.   My husband and I shower any time we use the bathroom.  If we are not at home, we shower as soon as we get home.  At our place, we have a bidet (we do not get paid off any link to amazon, as their terms of service does not allow sex blogs to affiliate with them — we just like the product), which you can buy extremely cheap and install instantly.  Literally, you can add a bidet to your toilet using the existing waterline, no power.   It shoots cool water directly on your anus and cleans you thoroughly.  Unlike a cold pool, or a cold shower, cool water directly on your anus feels much more comfortable than you’d expect. 

This should fix any of the issues you have with your boyfriend’s smells and his rancid ass crack.  As always, a simple talk and good communication solves almost every issue or question we get on this blog.   

Ryan’s response to smelly dick

Venice is correct.  When dealing with a partner and his smelly ass crack, a good start is telling him.  It’s all about communication.   You can also play nice and ask him to shower with you.  Or you can hop in the shower with him when you see him showering in the morning.  While in there, grab the soap and rub him down, his smelly ass  crack included. 

I can’t believe people spend time with a partner, have sex, date for months, and do not know how to communicate something as simple as, “Hey baby, your smelly ass crack is making me gag.  Can you please try to clean it better? Would you like me to shower with you and put a good scrubbing on it?”

Much like women need to work to keep their vagina odor-free, men should do the same.  I keep my ass crack as fresh as possible.  I also spray antiperspirants on my creases to make sure I smell fresh.  Some men like to keep their asses so clean you can eat dinner off of them.    

November 9, 2022

Q&A: Resentful towards my wife because of boring sex and no drive to improve our sex life

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Q&A: Resentful towards my wife because of boring sex and no drive to improve our sex life

I’ve been happily married for almost a decade, we have kids, house, etc. Sex has been generally great too, although limited to 1-2 positions, and we have matching high libidos. However, my wife has been very vanilla while I am fairly kinky and into exploring things.  I am beginning to feel resentful towards my wife due to our now boring sex life.

Over the years I’ve made progress on my own communication and brought up the things I’ve been missing and wanted to try. It went better than I expected – my wife turned out to have her own kinks, some kinks we both wanted to try equally.

Which is where things went off the happy trajectory. We never really ended up trying nearly all those things we matched on. I’ve shopped for toys, did the reading, talked to her about it dozens of times and she usually agrees, reassures me that she really wants to do it, but it’s always either “later” or I am sent to do “more research”.

After nearly a year of trying, I can’t escape feeling very resentful. Why am I the one doing all the “research” and trying to make things work? Why do I have to be running in this loop of back and forth if in practice she doesn’t seem to be interested, whatever the underlying reason? I feel embarrassed about sharing my kinks and neither feel comfortable trying it with her anymore nor frankly not interested in plain vanilla sex either – I don’t feel too incentivized in putting the effort into pleasing my partner when my own preferences are just ignored.

Has anyone been through this? Am I just depressed and exaggerating things? Is there a way forward or is it a fundamental incompatibility? I generally wouldn’t mind living like this but it will inevitably come out when it becomes obvious I lost interest in sex.

Venice’s response to boring sex

This was pretty much our sex life 12 years into our marriage.  It is extremely easy to get complacent in marriage, especially with sex.   As a couple that met young and inexperienced, we started off being excited by just having sex in general.   And since we started so young, it is hard to want to continue being more and more kinky, because why?!    When we first had sex, I could just take off my panties and that was the most exciting thing my husband wanted.  He didn’t need positions, deep throating, dom/sub role play, or any of that.  Just getting sex was exciting for both of us.  

Eventually my husband wanted more.   Because of my complacency, lack of attention I was getting, and nothing else in our relationship had changed…why would I change and give him better sex?  Why does better sex even matter other than he must be watching porn and expected too much out of me?  When did I ever say I wanted kinky sex or anything more than missionary and doggy style?

Now ask me how I would treat a man if I was single, I just met him, and wanted to win him over in bed. 

I would treat him like a king.  I would let him anal whenever he wanted.  I would let throw me in any position his heart desired.  I would be enthusiastic and tell him how much I loved his dick.  I would let him dominate and choke the shit out of me if he liked that.  I would even cross my eyes while he did it and make goofy faces to show him I was not only into it, I loved it.   I would beg to swallow him.  I would learn to deep throat his dick so deep that I could fit his balls in my mouth and lick his ass all at the same time.  I would do whatever it took to show him I was the best lover he could ever want.   

So why would I treat the next guy better than my current husband?  Why does our next boyfriends/husbands get the best sex from us?  

It’s a process that sometimes takes a catalyst.  In my situation, it took a catalyst.   Our relationship’s catalyst was our relationship almost ending.  We were friends, kind of.  We had children.  We appeared to be a normal family, but the reality was, we were living separate lives within the same house.  He didn’t give me the attention I needed, and I didn’t give him anything extra, especially sexually. I made dinners, I was friendly, and I didn’t really argue.  But sex?  I wasn’t going to be a porn star for him.   

But with the thought of leaving each other becoming more real, the feeling of being lonely took over my soul.  I did love him.  He used to be my best friend.  I felt depressed and lost. I believe the same happened to him.  We had this weird bonding experience that reignited our passion.  Just knowing that both of us had resigned to the idea that splitting up was a real option, scared us back into being teenagers again.  I fucked him with more intensity.  I opened the door to every type of sex, regardless of how extreme.  I learned to deep throat and face fuck.   We now have a permanent role in our life and relationship, daddy / little girl.   I am open to anything he brings up and feel disgusted at the old version of me.  In fact, seeing on old videos we recorded together in sexual moments prior to the catalyst, embarrasses me.  I had a chip on my shoulder or was resentful that he wanted to do anything with me other than fuck me missionary.   

Unfortunately I do not have an answer for you.   It’s going to take more than communication and research.  It’s going to take a catalyst that snaps your wife back into wanting to please you.  Wanting to impress you.  Wanting to do things with you she absolutely would do with the next man after you, if you divorced her.  The question you should be asking is how do you get your wife to appreciate you again?  Do you do all the grooming you did prior to marrying her?  Do you take her out and make her feel special?  Do you buy her gifts and ask about her hobbies?  Do you give her attention and participate in the things she loves?   She isn’t going to just wake up one day and want to fuck you better when you haven’t done anything better for her.   Since I do not have enough information on your situation, I will leave you with that.

Ryan’s response to boring sex

My wife probably hit the nail on the head.  Your wife may need a catalyst.   She sounds complacent.   Now don’t run off and threaten a divorce, because using a separation or divorce as a leverage tool in your marriage is wrong.  It should be something you feel is your only option and you are willing to follow through with, not just threaten.   If she can’t fulfill your needs and you are beginning to resent her, a separation could help.  It will make you both miss the little things you love so much about each other. 

But before you do that, ask her to write out a list of all the things she wants from you.  I have no idea what will be on her list, but whatever it is, work towards trying harder at the things she needs.   Even if it is something as simple as watching her favorite show each week together.  This will make the thought of separating much harder, since you’re trying to give her the things she said she needed.  The last thing you want to do is suggest separating and she starts doing a cheer and high fiving the mirror, happy as hell she is finally getting out of there.

If she realizes that things you need are as simple as enthusiasm, a little research, and her opening her mind to trying new things sexually, she may make the change.  However, is it worth your marriage to threaten a separation over your sexual needs?  That would be something you need to decide.  She may call her friends and say, “John said he is separating with me because I won’t research enjoying anal with him.  Can you believe that?”

Feeling resentful can lead to a lot of negative things in a relationship, so measure the resent you feel and see if this is something you can live with or you want to fix.  And of course there is always the approach of contacting a professional such as a marriage counselor rather than asking a sex blogging couple.      

 

August 2, 2022

Your Neighbor Is Probably More Kinky Than Your Favorite Porn Star

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your neighbor is a porn starYour Neighbor Is Probably More Kinky Than Your Favorite Porn Star.  

The internet has changed the world.  No longer do you need to hide your father’s old playboy magazine under your bed hoping he doesn’t miss it from his own sticky collection.  The long nights with a Sears lingerie catalog are over.  Sex is everywhere.  And not only is sex everywhere, as an amateur couple you can help other lonely souls struggling for fap material.

The days of buying a 25 year old storage unit and accidentally finding a random VHS tape labeled “mommy and daddy time” just to see amateur sex is over.   Sex is everywhere, girls on webcam, are everywhere, and your neighbor is probably more kinky than your favorite porn star.  

Real Life Sex Is Better Than Porn Sex

The biggest criticism of the porn industry, especially with marriage counselors and these professional (with no credentials)  Reddit therapists, “Porn sex isn’t real.  You can’t have sex like you see in porn.”  Well, now you can.  And couples do.  The dick sizes are real with no trick camera angles, the stamina is real, the sweat is real, the sex is real.  And if you see and an amateur couple live,  you know there is no after effects warping the body parts to be super human.   It’s easier to accept porn as fake than it is to work on your stamina and fuck like a champion.   So hopefully webcams are waking up the woke generation and rather than pushing good sex to the side as something unattainable, couples are bettering their sex lives.  No more excuses? 

There are 1000s of couples out there fucking on camera for free, showing you that not only do they fuck each other with enthusiasm, but they fuck each other just as good as any porn you have ever seen…if not better.  The moans are real.  The effort is real. The orgasms are real. There are no cut scenes or breaks between position changes.  Money isn’t being exchanged for enthusiasm.  The dicks are better.  The women are better.  It’s just real sex being recorded.  And the only thing slightly exaggerated is we tend to do our best while a camera is recording.  And that’s a good thing!  Fuck like a camera is recording.  What’s even better?  No weird gaussian blur that makes sex look like a Lifetime movie.  Amateur couples are the real MVPs.  Salute to all the amateurs out there contributing to the idea that sex can be better than professional porn, if you want it to be.  

May 10, 2022

Study shows, Longer Penis Size Does Matter, especially to women that have vaginal orgasms through penetration

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Study shows, Penis Size Does Matter, especially to women that have vaginal orgasms through penetration

Despite always hearing “size doesn’t matter,” this actually isn’t totally true.  It may be true to women who cannot achieve orgasms through penetration (between 70 percent to 90 percent of women are unable to achieve orgasm with penetration alone) but penis length and size does matter to the rest of us that do orgasm through penetration.

Studies find that women who have frequent vaginal orgasms are more than likely to have an orgasm easier if the man’s penis is longer.  For me specifically, it is the length that triggers my body’s orgasm during sex.  The bottom of the vagina, also known as the posterior fornix, has nerve endings that are not attached to the clitoris and give an entire different sensation sexually.  This is also known as the p-spot.  And although it’s common to hear it’s the width that matters, that isn’t true for me.   If it isn’t hitting the p-spot, it’s just stretching my walls and possibly ripping me.  And that never feels good.  And apparently, I am not alone, as women who tend to prefer penile-vaginal intercourse over other types of sex (oral) also say the same, researchers reported online in The Journal of Sexual Medicine.   

But other researchers were less convinced.

“There’s such variability in preference,” said Barry Komisaruk, who researches female sexual response at Rutgers University. Women who orgasm through vaginal stimulation may indeed prefer longer penises, Komisaruk told LiveScience, but not everyone prefers to orgasm that way. (10 Odd Facts About the Female Body)

There is no doubt about that!   For the first 20 years of my sexual life I could only orgasm through masturbation with my fingers on my clitoris, oral sex, or the use of a vibrator.   All purely clitoris orgasms.  It didn’t matter the width or length of the penis,  my body was unable to achieve orgasms through sex.   When that changed, and I became orgasmic through sex (various factors: age/sexual peak/comfort/and learning to pay attention to myself and stop making theatrics during sex a priority), I noticed that if my husband isn’t going all the way in, it is far less enjoyable.   Depending on positions, such as him laying sideways, there is not as much penetration as positions like doggy style or missionary with my legs up.  If his penis doesn’t hit the bottom and create that posterior fornix pressure, I cannot achieve an orgasm.  When his penis is totally erect and bottoms out, it can instantly trigger orgasms.   And most of the time it doesn’t stop until he orgasms or slows his pace and allows my body to recover.  This bottom area is where the p-spot is located and creates a sensation I can’t really explain.  For those women that have felt this, they know.  It’s almost indescribable. 

But let’s get back to these studies. 

There is still scientific debate about whether vaginal and clitoral orgasms are different phenomena. Different nerves carry signals from the vagina and from the clitoris, Komisaruk said, and stimulation of each activates different brain regions. But some researchers argue that vaginal stimulation is simply activating a different, internal, section of the clitoris. Women report different sensations from vaginal and clitoral orgasms, Komisaruk said, but which one women prefer largely comes down to personal preference.

In some cases, female orgasm is even more complex. For example, Beverly Whipple, professor emerita at Rutgers University and one of the discoverers of the G spot, a sensitive area felt through the front wall of the vagina, has found that women with complete spinal cord injuries can sometimes experience orgasm, even though the nerves that carry sensation up the spinal cord from the pelvis have been severed. It’s likely that the sensory vagus nerve, which runs in the abdomen but bypasses the spinal cord, is recruited to carry signals to the brain in these cases, Whipple told LiveScience.

That’s actually pretty interesting.  Being that a longer penis can push around the abdomen area much easier than a short penis, it would explain why depth matters!  And it also explains why other research has found that abdominal exercises induce orgasms in some women, resulting in pleasurable spasms at the gym.   

Some researchers holds a different view, pointing to studies finding that the ability to orgasm with vaginal stimulation alone is correlated with better psychological functioning, better relationship quality and greater sexual satisfaction.

“Earlier research with a large representative sample also found that women who are made aware in their youth that the vagina is a source of women’s orgasm are more likely to develop the capacity for vaginal orgasm. Therefore, those who deny these findings (and insist on maintaining the politically correct party line) are not doing women a favor, but might be injuring women’s health and sexual potential.”

Length isn’t the only variable with orgasms during sex, that’s for sure.  As I stated earlier, I was unable to achieve orgasms sexually, regardless of length.  It wasn’t until my 40s I was truly able to enjoy orgasms through sex alone and there were a lot of mental factors that played a part in it.   But once all those mental factors are sorted out, size does matter!

April 27, 2022

Q & A: My Husband (almost 5 inches in penis size) offered to wear a big strap on to see if I could orgasm. Should I?

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Q & A: My Husband (almost 5 inches in penis size) offered to wear a big strap on to see if I could orgasm. Should I?

I’ve never cum from PIV sex with my husband but I cum easily with my magic wand.  My husband also has difficultly cumming in me from PIV sex because I feel loose to him.  So we usually just skip PIV sex and mutually masturbate.

My husband knows he’s small and it bothers him. A few months ago he asked me if I ever cum from PIV sex with other men before we were married and I told he truth that I had. One guy I dated who was about 7” would hit a spot that would make me cum almost every time he fucked me.

My husband told me he was sorry he couldn’t make me cum like that and I explained that I cum harder from my vibrator than I ever have from PIV sex and that there’s more to a relationship than just sex, but I can tell it still bothers him.

So a few weeks ago, out of the blue, he tells me that he sometimes fantasizes about having a big dick and watching it going in an out of me and asks me if I would let him fuck me with a big strap on so he can experience what it would be like to fuck me with a big dick.

The thought of being fucked with a big dick does turn me on, but I’m worried how my husband would react if I cum from him fucking me with a big strap on. Would that make him more insecure about his small cock or will it make him feel better knowing he can make me cum by fucking me?

Venice’s response to big strap on?

I believe you should look into penis sleeves.   This sleeve actually fits over your husband’s penis like a thick condom and will make his length and girth much larger.  Personally, I think you should do anything in the bedroom that can make your sex lives better.   Dildos, toys, sleeves, and even other people!   If it is something he is open to try, try it.  If it makes you cum, awesome!   Just because it’s a sleeve does not mean your husband should feel insecure.  Since you are already self-conscious about the idea that the sleeve may make him feel inadequate, prepare him mentally.   Make sure he understands that its him making you cum, not just the sleeve.  The feeling of the sleeve, plus the comfort you feel with him, being in love, and wanting to enjoy him.  It’s not just pure size giving you that orgasm, it’s him and the size.  You love him, so even if that isn’t true, it doesn’t hurt to emphasize it’s not just the size.    

Personally, when I tried to go larger, I hated it.  Maybe it didn’t feel natural, or it just poked me too far in the back, but I just didn’t enjoy it.  After a few minutes I asked him to please remove it.  For the record, I also do not enjoy penetrative dildos and things of that sort.  I do enjoy vibrating toys, but just on my clitoris area.  

Ryan’s response to big strap on?

No matter a man’s size, some of us go through this phase.  I did.  It wouldn’t matter if I was almost 5 inches or 9 inches, the idea of your penis being bigger and seeing your woman take a larger size is a turn on.  Porn and various photos that float around on social media show huge 12 inch men.   We see some women swoon over it.  So why wouldn’t any size man want to add a few more inches in girth and length and see what it would be like?  Penis sleeves allow this type of experience, so why not?  I say go for it.

Although my experience wasn’t a super sexy experience, it was still an experience.  I saw my wife in pain, I felt her put her hands on my hips and crawl away from me.  It was everything that you never see in porn.  A big ass dick that doesn’t really fit comfortably inside a woman, causing pain.  If it was real, maybe she would put up with all the pain and things that go with being that hung, but with a fake sleeve?  She asked me to please stop and I did.  We haven’t tried it since.  In fact, she was turned off to the idea of anything other than a real penis inside her body.   It just wasn’t her thing.