Q&A: I Haven’t Had Sex With My Wife In 7 Years

3ba6ab1c317844c9716122024fb10f83Hello, my wife and I have been married for 30 years this year. She was 34 and I was 28 when we first got married. When we first met we talked to each other over two hours at a bar (waiting for other friends to show to go to a Sounders game) before I even asked her name. We clicked instantly and spent the week-end together. In six months we were married. She looked like a model, so very beautiful, kind, loving, and smart. She is still beautiful, and I love her soul, at least the part she lets me into.

We are/were hippies, a product of the times and proud of it. I have had image issues in the past due to being born with a cleft-palette (no nose, no roof in my mouth, oversized lower lip, etc.), though this was all corrected beautifully when I was fifteen years old. I was 6′ 2″ when I was in fifth grade but I felt sorry for the kids who made fun of me. Another story for another place.

woodstock1Background; I figured I’ve slept with about 10+ women, my wife told me that she has slept with 300+ people before me. That has not bothered me as it was all before me, actually kind of impressed and a bit of a turn on. I truly believe in “Make Love – Not War” Not an issue, just background info.

In the beginning, the sex was great, communication was flowing non-stop (on the phone with her for five to six hours at a time). An amazing, whirlwind, of a time. Then as the wedding got closer she got sick. It turned out to be morning sickness. She had stopped taking her birth control pills but failed to let me know this fact. Our son, now grown, was born nine months later. He is one of the finest young men I know and I am so happy that he is here. I was hurt at the time about not being let in on the decision. Sex takes a holiday. We have our daughter and another difficult pregnancy. Sex takes a holiday, understandable. After we get the family settled the sex becomes bit more frequent but less emotional on her part, more mechanical. I tried to make suggestions to spice up our love life but was rebuffed on numerous occasions.

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