Q&A: My Girlfriend Tricked Me To Go To Church To Talk To Her Pastor About Our Sex Life

My Girlfriend Tricked Me To Go To Church To Talk To Her Pastor About Our Sex Life

A few weeks ago my girlfriend (at the time) invited me to come to church with her.  I’m not a church person, but out of respect and love for my girlfriend, I agreed to go. For religious reasons, my girlfriend often felt guilty whenever we were done having sex.  I am 19, she is 18.  I never really understood her religion, but I didn’t pressure her to become sexually active. She was the one who initiated sex most of the time, even though she would up begging God for forgiveness afterwards and promising never to sin again. She prayed a lot and we sinned a lot. I enjoyed our sex life and so did she. At some point, she stopped praying after sex, which made me think she was finally learning to accept that it was natural to be sexual. However, I didn’t realize the extent of her guilt until that morning in church when the pastor approached my gf and I after the service and asked us to meet with him in private.

During the meeting with the pastor, he revealed that my gf requested to see him and she wanted me to be present. I was completely blindsided. The pastor said that my gf confessed to what we have done behind closed doors and explained that she wanted him to pray for both us at that moment, so that we could fight our sexual urges. I reluctantly agreed to the prayer, which made my gf smile and hold my hand. The pastor asked us to close our eyes before proceeding to pray. It was a long prayer.  He knew more than enough details about our relationship and our sex life. It was embarrassing and infuriating. When we were done at church, I broke up with my gf. It was painful for both of us, but the pastor situation was too much for me. I could no longer compete in the bedroom with God.

Yesterday she reached out to me after 2 weeks of zero communication. She said she had a new hairstyle – pigtails. I knew what that meant. When we were still together, I used to joke about wanting her to get pigtails on each side so I could pull on them during doggy style. The new hairstyle is an invitation. I’m not sure if I should accept or decline. The part of me that is thinking with my dick definitely wants to fuck her again, but the other part of me is thinking about her religious baggage. To those of you who are or have been in my shoes, what would your advice be to someone like me?

Venice’s Response to sex and the church

Do what makes you happy.  Personally, I think you breaking up was the right move.  If you don’t have the guilt she has, why put yourself through that?   

Obviously she has inner issues with sex and her religion. This might be more than just her religion, but a personality thing.  If it isn’t religion, it would have been her parents.  If it wasn’t her parents, it would have been some sort of issue she had with her sexual thoughts or experiences as a child.  Some people just can’t be happy having sex.  Unfortunately it’s what the world has taught us.  Your parents appropriately keep you from touching yourself as a child, or even thinking about sex.  You’re scolded for it.  But that doesn’t stop our curiosity, so we learn to hide it.  Sex and masturbation becomes something we keep a secret and never talk about.  Obviously school will not touch on various sexual topics because parents and the churches influence keeps actual sex education out of school. You can learn about math, your alphabets, history, but not sex.  Because apparently sex isn’t something you should learn and it’s only appropriate to learn after you are married.  You and your future partner should figure it out as adults.   

The church teaches us it’s a sin.  The government teaches us it’s bad, because if a teenager has a child they may end up needing government assistance.  So their goal is to keep people who are not ready for children, away from sex.  Your parents have their own agenda, whether it be embarrassment, your future, or just unaccepting that their child is sexual and growing up.  In other words, we are taught sex is so awful and wrong that feeling guilt is “normal”.   

I don’t blame your ex-girlfriend for how she feels, but I do feel bad for her.  Obviously she loves sex.  It’s unfortunate that the world has conditioned us to feel so guilty about something we were all born from and instinctively desire.  If you think you are up to the task of dealing with her guilt, continue your relationship.  However, be aware, sometimes certain personalities just can’t be happy doing what they love. 

Ryan’s Response to sex and the church

I have never dealt with this type of personality and I probably couldn’t.  We are all limited to our own experiences and although I am a people watcher, this isn’t something I am familiar with.  I have always wondered how some people deal with a partner that is extremely religious.  Most of my father’s side of my family was killed by Jim Jones so I was raised to question everything, especially organized religion.  

I would be extremely upset if I was put in the situation you were put in.  I like to think we are all individuals and if she can’t accept sex doesn’t make you feel guilty, nor do you want to be prayed with about your sexual desires, it isn’t a good fit.  And that’s that.

Do Men Prefer Giving Oral Sex With Women Fresh Out of the Shower or Do They Enjoy Our Work Bodies

Do Men Prefer Giving Oral Sex With Women Fresh Out of the Shower or Do They Enjoy Our Work Bodies

Although a woman’s first reaction to this type of question would probably be she prefers to be freshly showered.  It’s a natural thought process for us to want to feel as clean as possible for our man.  Whether it be insecurity or feeling self conscious from hearing when we were young the jokes about a vagina smell be similar to fish.  Mine sure isn’t.  But this is why communication is important because what you believe, may not be what he desires.  Ask your partner what they prefer.  Personally I do not mind my husband going down on me after a long day at work, but I also make sure it’s on a day where I didn’t use the rest room at work, or some other public bathroom.  Neither I nor him like the idea of him going down on me and eating me out when I was sitting on a work bathroom.  Besides that variable, he does prefer my natural smell over soap and water.  So I keep that in mind and try to make sure I am as fresh as possible at all times.  Whether it be unscented wipes, using our bidet, and hoping in the shower mid day if I come home for an emergency “number 2” during a work day.   As I have stated many times on this blog, me and my husband both like to shower after going “number 2”, even with the use of a bidet.  

I once was told something funny by a lesbian girl who was flirting with me.  I informed her that we couldn’t hang out this weekend because I was on my cycle.  She responded, “I am true lesbian, I run red lights.”   I thought it was hilarious.  So this poll isn’t just for men, it’s for anyone that enjoys going down on women.  Maybe one day we can do a poll and separate the answers to men vs bi/gay women.  Personally I prefer a woman fresh out the shower when I go down on them.  I do not enjoy the idea of a long day of sweat and pheromones.   

To Shower or Not To Shower

We decided to add a poll.  Although we understand that some people may respond with answers like, “I just want her comfortable” or “Both”.   Our poll’s goal isn’t to play the middle ground, we want to see which preference is the majority when it comes to showering and oral sex.  

 

Do you prefer to give oral sex to a woman immediately after a shower or (6-10 hours) after?
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Here are a few comments on the topic from around the web.

Either, but i preferably no balls of toilet paper.

 

Fresh, because it seems to allow her to be more into it and less anxious about how her pussy tastes or smells, which makes it more fun for both of us because she’s more relaxed.

 

The cleaner the better but I won’t say no if it’s the end of the day too. If she’s not showered for a couple of days or whatever then it’s probably gonna be a no.

 

I much prefer it fresh out of the shower but that sweet and ripe scent full of their pheromones in the evening is also nice.

 

I’m down for anything, but fresh out of the shower isn’t my favorite. I love the way my wife smells (all over, not just there), and that’s a big part of my enjoyment when we’re together.

 

The absolute best is when she’s worked the whole day, i need the smell. Its arousing to no end

 

I strongly prefer “well marinated” but am happy any time … fresh out of the shower would be my least preferred.

 

I prefer it fresh

 

I’m more attracted to a natural musk that’s present several hours after a shower. Clean is fine, but I’d prefer a nice scent. Multiple days without showering? No thank you.

 

Honestly wouldn’t matter either way (unless it was really pungent). I’ve even eaten out my wife when she was on her period (not during the heaviest part) a couple of times, and that wasn’t a problem. Only time I’ve ever really hated it was one ex who used to use products on her pussy to “make it smell nice”. It didn’t.

 

 

 

 

How to Wash Your Penis

How to Wash Your Penis

Believe it or not, some men have no idea how to wash their penises.  Whether it be lazy, thinking their penis is like their thumb and never smells, or just ignorant to their own bodies.  Anything resting between your sweaty thighs or on your sweaty balls is going to have to be cleaned.  I do not care how clean you think you are.  Let’s get started with our how to clean your penis guide.

The Washing Your Penis Technique

Gently wash your penis each day. If you are uncircumcised, carefully pull back and clean underneath the foreskin, as well as the tip of your penis (the glans) using only water and a very gentle soap. Don’t scrub this sensitive area.  If you are circumcised, lather up your penis and shaft with soap and stroke yourself.  It really is that simple.  Personally, I use antibacterial soap, but use whatever your body handles well.  Some men complain soap irritates their penis, if so, try soft body wash or baby wash.

If you are uncircumcised, make sure you gently dry the tip of your penis, the area underneath your foreskin and the rest of your penis. Replace the foreskin over the tip of the penis.   If you are circumcised, you should still dry your entire penis prior to putting on your briefs.  Leaving your underwear moist can cause jock itch (fungal infection).

Do not take the One Chip Challenge and follow up by masturbating.

Another tip for your tip, wash your hands.  If you touch raw foods or things that could possibly irritate your penis, it could lead to bacterial growth and cause unwanted odors.    It can also lead to a very painful experience if you were to touch something like hot peppers and then rub your crotch.

Another effective method to making sure your penis is clean, is to always wash your penis after sex.   What’s interesting is a lot of times women do not know that the penis may smell after sex because of their own smell.  As much as men should wash their penis, women should know that sometimes that smell coming from his cock is coming from you.

Can someone please tell my boyfriend how to wash his smelly penis?!

Can a dick not smell at all?  I am talking about after showering. When I first met my boyfriend his dick didn’t smell.  I remember it because it was my first time seeing a dick in real life and I was surprised that it didn’t smell or anything.  But from the second time I saw it, it smelt really bad.  Now, even after showering, it still smells.   I asked him If he washes it and he said with just water.  He doesn’t like soap because he thinks it is bad for his penis and makes it smell worse.

If dicks in general are all like this, I don’t think I will ever have sex with men again.  Can a penis not smell at all? 

Imagine.

Some women with a lot of experience with oral sex understand that their saliva, even if your breath is fresh, can have an off-putting smell.   If you don’t believe me, simply suck on your finger and smell it.  If you really want to treat yoself, put the finger as far back as you can in your throat and then smell.   Whether it be the deep hidden yeast on the back of your tongue, tonsil stones, or whatever the cause, giving a man oral sex and smelling his penis during can lead women to believe his penis smells.   

This thought reminds me of the first time my daughter wore a mask and said, “Eww, what’s the smell!”    

Antiperspirant

This is a metrosexual / gay man’s best kept secret.  Antiperspirant can keep your cock and balls dry and shower fresh throughout the entire day.  It will be up to you to find a spray that smells “fresh” more so than smelling like cologne.  No one wants a dick that smells like cologne.    Some men may be sensitive to antiperspirants, but I can safely say I have been using it for years and the only side effect I’ve had was my dick always smelling great.  Not too powerful, but never musty.

Stay away from baby powder

The only time I have had issues below was when I was a teenager and would lather my dick and crotch in baby powder.  I have always wanted that fresh smell.  I believe because baby powder has cornstarch it actually helped caused my jock itch. It didn’t help that I was an athlete and worked out all day.  But none the less, I have never had the issue again after I quit using baby powder.  Take that with a ‘grain of salt’ though, because that is just a bit of bro science. 

 

How Having A Gay Experience Made Me A Better Lover To Women

How Having A Gay Experience Made Me A Better Lover To Women.

Every now and then we snag up stories we feel may be interesting to our readers.  We archive them on our sex blog and throw them in the category of The Wild Wild Web.   Here is an interesting piece about a guy getting fucked by another guy and it changed everything he thought he knew about sex and his sexuality. For him, being gay or having a gay experience made him realize how good men can be in bed, and in response he became a better lover to women.


Getting fucked by another guy changed everything I thought I knew about sex and put me in sort of a crisis and also a new beginning.

I am a 55 year old guy who was recently divorced (amicably) after a long marriage and currently have a relationship with a younger woman in her 20s as her sugar daddy. It’s more than just trading money for sex though, we have a relationship as friends and can talk about things I’ve never been able to talk about with anyone else.

I always suspected I was bisexual and now had the chance to try stuff with guys. I had a couple of bad encounters hooking up on my own with random men and so, my sugar baby offered to set me up with a guy who is her FWB and identifies as straight but is willing to occasionally fuck guys.

The Gay Experience That Made Me A Better Lover

He is like the male version of her, attractive, fit, nice personality, younger but there is no sugar arrangement, it’s just sex. He has a high sex drive.

My first experiences with men were awkward and some were scary! I had no idea how scary it can be to have sex with someone who can overpower you until I tried it! One guy had anger issues that came out when he drank!

The difference between this new guy and the others was night and day! He was amazing! He has a nice dick but it was his abs and butt that made the difference He was like a machine that could fuck effortlessly and he can very easily overpower me but I never felt unsafe. He also knew when to turn it up and be more aggressive but never to the point where I felt threatened.

The main thing was just how much longer he could fuck than I ever did. I kept expecting it to be over and he’d just be able to keep going.  It was incredible.

How This Gay Experience Made Me A Better Lover

After the first time was over, I just sat there alone and actually cried, because of how great it was but also because I felt like I wasted my own potential in MY sex life just because I didn’t know any different. I didn’t finish too early but compared to him, I realized I was in my late middle age and had no clue what I was doing. I felt bad for my ex wife whom I had a long and wonderful sex life with and instantly realized it could have been so much more. I felt like all my life I was cutting sex short before it really even started, when it could have been so much more.

Nobody teaches you how to have sex right? So you just fall into a pattern and it becomes HOW you have sex and you start to think it’s like that for everyone. Guys don’t like to admit to themselves that they are lacking in that department so they generally don’t like to think about it or if they should improve.

She Noticed My Gay Experience Made Me A Better Lover

I mean when I have sex with my sugar baby, she obviously is younger and fitter than I am so I never really thought twice about it. According to her, I am a lot better than the other (older) sugar daddy she had before me and the last boyfriend she had who was her own age liked porn and video games more than fucking! She started seeing her FWB to get her needs met.

After getting fucked by him though, my own skills improved just by knowing I could do more! She noticed and was pleasantly surprised! We talked about how I was feeling and she told me my performance was fine.  She told me that sex with men is either awful, mediocre, or fucking amazing and it’s rare that a man is fucking amazing. She said when you can find a guy who is that good at it and not an asshole, you hold on to him!

How My Gay Experience Changed Me

It also made me realize I am bottom with men which made me question my self image. I have a female side that likes being overpowered and just going for a ride where someone else is driving! I didn’t expect to catch feelings for a guy either but that is starting too. I catch myself wondering what he is thinking or second guessing myself when I am waiting for him to respond to a text.

It also made me notice guys in public. It’s like I had blinders on all my life. I can see how confidence is sexy. I notice things I never did before. My Ex and I have college aged daughter and we went through hell with her when she was almost engaged to this complete jerk and we could not possibly see what she saw in him. I started having sexual fantasies about guys like that now! It’s just that IDGAF attitude and the sense of danger and excitement. The guy I am seeing is not like that but he can tap into it and knows how to!

As for advice, I am wondering if the regret I feel is normal or healthy? Is it something that is likely to pass or should I seek out counseling? I also have no idea what the rest of my life is gonna be like. I don’t want to keep seeing sugar babies and having random hookups. I realize this is a phase but I also know that most women are turned off by bisexual men and I am definitely bisexual.


Venice’s Response: to a gay experience made me a better lover

This story is a good take on how a person can finally realize how good men fuck through being fucked by a man, but I’d like to add, as a woman, sex is amazing when you have an amazing connection. Some women may not need a connection, but I did. From my readings, most women prefer a connection prior to sex. The idea that a man being great in bed with zero connection is foreign to me. No lover can be a good lover if I do not have a connection, no matter how long he goes or how good he moves. My husband and I learned how to fuck each other, and even the very first time when neither of us even understood sex, it was the best sex imaginable.  Not because of some technical move or his stamina, but because I never wanted to fuck a person so bad in my life.  The same as if you are starving and you get served a meal, it will be the best meal ever.  And with my husband, I stay in a sexual famine, because I was always hungry for him to fuck me.  

I just felt this was something I should clarify due to the opinion of his sugar baby who gave her opinion on how guys can be bad in bed, mediocre in bed, or great in bed.  Her perspective isn’t something I would change my entire perspective on sex and life on.  That’s all I am saying.

So as a man who got great sex with no connection from another man, that doesn’t mean that is what women want. You aren’t a woman. 

Ryan’s Response: gay experience made me a better lover

This is an interesting story and I believe that you were right when you said you went through life with blinders on. I am unsure if you never watched amateur porn (much different than highly edited professional porn), but some men can fuck for hours. Some men are stallions built to fuck, built to last last long, built with huge dicks that you’d think every woman would love to try.  Maybe you were complacent.  Maybe you didn’t believe porn was actually real sex due to editing.  But it wasn’t until you had a stud that knew exactly how to fuck you that you realized you had been doing it wrong your whole life. Well, your life isn’t over. You were a bad lover at 20 because you didn’t believe good sex actually existed. You had blinders on. You will be a bad lover at 50 because you believe it’s too late to change. You still have blinders on, except you can’t see the future. In both instances you are wrong. Stop telling yourself why you can’t be a good lover, or thinking about what you missed, and start creating experiences that you want to have.  

A Gentleman’s Guide To Making Your Ass More Enjoyable For Women To Eat

A Gentleman’s Guide To Making Your Ass More Enjoyable For Women To Eat

My First Time Eating A Man’s Ass

In a previous article about eating ass, we included this experience about my first time going down on a man.  I will share again, because it goes very well with the topic of how a man can make his ass more enjoyable for a woman to eat.    Guide To Licking Your Man’s Ass

One night, my husband (boyfriend at the time) and I was talking on the phone.  He was away in college and we were talking about things we wanted to try over Christmas break.  To be honest, long distance and talking over the phone helped us more than anything ever could.  When we were together physically, we tended to shut down our line of communication, and just act and react.  We talked, but it wasn’t necessarily deep. We kiss, say cute things, fuck, then go about our day like everything is perfect.  No real communication. I do believe, that had we not had time apart, it would have took much longer for him to communicate that he had a desire to have his ass licked.  This was over 20 years ago, so it wasn’t a common thing.  In fact, it wasn’t anything I had heard a girl did to her man.   Just totally unexplored territory.  In hindsight, I thought giving a rim job was a joke about gay sex, because I had always heard the term “tossing salad“, but never thought it was a real thing.

Tossing Salad Woman’s Guide To Licking Your Man’s Ass

This actually originated on an HBO documentary called “Prisoners of the War on Drugs” produced in 1996. In the film, there’s a segment called “Tossed Salad man” who describes to a reporter one of the ways another prisoner might pay for drugs or pay off a drug debt. It involves having the person apply some jelly from a jelly packet to his ass hole and then sucking his asshole like it was a pussy, while he jacked off…

We’ve also heard, they can apply salad dressing from a salad packet.  Anything to change the flavor. 

It gets into A LOT more detail than that, as well as a few other “methods of payment” they practiced inside the prison…

The same year, the comedian Chris Rock, having seen the film, worked the term into his stand-up comedy routine. It has been heard in other places since, including movies like Me, Myself and Irene, when Jim Carey is viewing the Chris Rock comedy special on TV…

Here is a clip of the original HBO film:

Okay, so now you know where I had to take my mind to.  A dark place.  I had to prepare myself for prison life.  A live or die mind-set here.  Just a young girl trying to survive…

It didn’t matter.  I was newly in love and nothing would have intimidated me.  I would have agreed to try anything, if he had brought it up.  I was ready to toss his salad, no jelly or salad dressing needed.

During Christmas break, he was staying with me at my house.  My mom would leave for work each day so this is when I would go downstairs and explore all the things a girl will explore when her boyfriend is living with her.  Oral sex, cum shots, having sex 13 times in a day.  You know, the things we do when we are allowed to actually have our boyfriend live with us!

As Christmas break neared an end, he got up the nerve to say to me, in a nervous shaky voice, “Do you want to try to lick me down there?”  

Shocked, I asked, “Do you want another blow job?”   I had no idea.

He didn’t make eye contact and responded, “No, my ass.”

My heart dropped.  Not because it was gross or because I wouldn’t do it.  But because for the first time, I was going to face something sexually that I hadn’t thought about 100 times.  I had thought about giving a blow job for the first time.  I had thought about a guy going down on me for the first time.  I had thought about having a guy on top of me as he pushes his penis inside my body.  I had even stuck things in myself to see what it would feel like.  So when my boyfriend and I were together sexually, nothing intimidated me.  I had already done it in my head so many times, it felt natural.  And I loved the thought of it, so it felt right.  But this?  Licking his asshole?  I had never thought of doing that to anyone.  Not once, in all my teenage years, did I sit in bed late at night and imagine myself putting my face down on a man’s ass, and sticking my tongue out to taste his butt hole.  No way.

This may be hard to relate to, because these days anal play and rim jobs are much more common.  Porn and quick access to any type of fetish, is just a click away.  But back then?  Unheard of.  More woman’s guide to licking your man’s ass below.

Still, I played it cool.  I lead him into the downstairs room and bent him over a day bed we had against the wall.  Without saying anything, I slid his shorts down.  This is probably the most unromantic story ever.  We had just gotten out of the shower, so I knew he would be clean.  Much like two young kids exploring their privates for the first time.  I had my boyfriend’s ass exposed, with his shorts around his ankles, bending down on the bed in front of me.  I got down to my knees behind him and spread his butt cheeks.  I remember saying, “It looks like a balloon knot.”  We both started laughing.   I could see his face turning bright red, embarrassed, and still totally exposed to me.  I leaned forward and barely stuck the tip of my tongue on the rim of his anus.  I think I was down there for about 2 or 3 seconds licking his rim when he pushed away from me and said, “Okay that’s enough!”  He was embarrassed, but totally satisfied and happy.  He didn’t really want to feel the sensation, or hadn’t really came up with a kinky fantasy regarding getting his ass licked, he just was really turned on that I would do that for him.  He felt loved.  He knew he had a girl who would do anything for him.  And I knew I had a man I’d do anything for.  It was so silly, so innocent, and yet, something I never thought I would do to another person.  The nerves made me feel so good inside.  Like I was naughty.

THE GENTLEMAN’S GUIDE TO MAKING YOUR ASS MORE EDIBLE

Given that we’ve reached the peak in ass eating, most men now have no qualms with eating a woman’s ass.  There was a time when discussing if you would even go down on a woman was a topic, but now most men brag about how much they enjoy eating a woman’s ass.  And as this becomes the norm in sex, women want to return the favor.  And this is the new taboo.    Is it okay for a man to get his ass ate and brag about it?  Enjoy it?   Let’s go through the psychology behind having your ass eaten and talk with Charlie Glickman, a sex coach and relationships expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners:

One thing people don’t realize is that your pelvic floor reflects your emotional state. That’s where we get the phrase “tight ass” from. The more stressed out you are, the tighter your pelvic floor becomes — in the same way a dog or a cat tucks their tail under when they’re scared. Being present in your ass doesn’t mean you have to try anal play, but it begins with paying attention to that part of your body. Anal stimulation is one way people start doing this, especially because of how much it relaxes the body. We have this cultural attitude that men do and women receive when talking about heterosexual dynamics, so it can be a change of pace for men and their partners to explore that in reverse.

Other guys are worried receiving anal pleasure makes them gay. But it’s who you want to have sex with that defines your orientation, not any particular sex act. From a sexological perspective, anything that people with two different genders do is heterosexual sex. Now, whenever trying something new, it’s always a good idea to start off making it a side dish rather than the main course. Maybe she starts off with a blow job that progressively moves a little further down until it becomes rimming. Or while receiving rimming, your partner can also use their hand on your penis, or you can use your own hand on your penis. Basically make rimming an “add-on,” because it can be more comfortable for a lot of guys if they begin receiving this pleasure when combined with a kind of pleasure they already know.

Either way, try to create as much emotional and physical comfort for yourself as possible. Get into a position that feels good. For some people, that’s lying on their back with a pillow under their hips and raising their knees to their chest. For others, it might mean standing on the floor and bending over the end of the bed or lying down face down flat on the bed. Others might get on their hands and knees. Every guy is different. So communicate personal information about what might make you feel most comfortable or get you off before you begin.

The biggest question I get from guys is about hygiene. If it’s been a hot day and maybe you’ve gotten a little sweaty, you might want to take a shower and have a quick rinse off. You can also do the little bird bath thing with a washcloth in the sink. Most people have body hair, and a lot of guys have a lot of hair around their anus. As such, you might feel more comfortable giving or receiving rimming if the receiver shaves or waxes. It’s just a way of keeping things a little neater down there.

What Do You Think Makes Eating A Man’s Ass More Enjoyable?

So we decided to move away from what others think and directly ask you.  What do you think makes eating a man’s ass more enjoyable?

We surveyed our readers and have received a few great tips on what makes it more enjoyable to eat a man’s ass.  

Most popular response:

Continue Reading A Gentleman’s Guide To Making Your Ass More Enjoyable For Women To Eat