10 Extremely Kinky Ideas on How To Spice Up Your Sex Life

The following blog is not for the faint at heart.  It has extreme ideas for a couple to spice up their bedroom, and we aren’t Cosmopolitan.  If you are secure in your relationship, have good communication, and looking for ways to spice up your sex life, we have a few ideas for you.

  1. Face your fears.
  2. Try a new sex position like anal.
  3. Explore different areas in your house.
  4. Touch yourself in front of your partner.
  5. Add ass to the oral menu.
  6. Watch a dirty movie togeth….

Okay STOP.  No, this is not one of those lists.  When we say extreme ideas, we mean extreme ideas to spice up your sex life. 


Massage Sessions:

Long massages, from him or her, focused on talking about your dirtiest fantasies with each other while giving the massage. 

Here are a few ideas of things you can talk about:  An imaginary threesome, adding another man or woman to your bedroom, or talking about sexual experiences with ex girlfriends/boyfriends. You can also talk about how much you love each others’ bodies, how big the person’s penis is or how tight she is in detail, how much you love to swallow his cum, or drink her fluids.  You’d be surprised how many couples do not talk about this type of thing.  

A massage can be a great time to just open up and talk about your most hidden secret fantasies. If done right, it will be as open as you are with yourself when you masturbate alone, except  someone else is touching you.  And rather than thinking to yourself all your dirty thoughts, you are sharing with the other person.  It can be extremely intoxicating and fun.  

All these things can be extreme and exciting if you have an open mind.  For a man, while getting a massage, his mind seems to be receptive to various things that his sober (not high from the stimulation) mind may not be.  For that reason, make sure you understand aftercare and how to finish a session if your conversation gets too crazy.  For a woman, a massage can lead to things that have never happened before, such as squirting.  This is what happened for us.  It was a whole new experience and for the next few weeks it was all we talked about.

Go To A Swingers’ Club:

Despite what you may think, a swingers’ club is pretty much a sex club.  Sex happens, and it happens a lot.  This is because swingers’ clubs are filled with married couples that have sex with each other all the time and they aren’t at a swingers’ club to dance. Sex is no longer taboo to seasoned couples, so things tend to get a lot more dirty when they are inside a swingers’ club. Most couples are there because they want to either add a random person into their experience or they want to be watched by others. Could you think of something more spicy than 3 single guys masturbating near you while they watch you and your partner have sex?   This experience will spice things up in your bedroom for the rest of your life.  Once you enjoy the thrill of having a bunch of people watch you have sex, your sex naturally becomes much more passionate.

Visit a Sex Store:

You’re probably seeing this idea and immediately labeling this list as totally vanilla right?  Not so fast.  Going to a sex store, whether online or in person, can bring a whole new element into your bedroom.  My suggestion would be to buy a toy you are the most shocked by.  This is a good rule of thumb because it is an immediate way to open your mind.  Whether it be a large dildo, or something you had no idea they made.   Buy it.  Bring it into the bedroom and spice things up instantly.

Invite another person into your bedroom:

Threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes. This will spice up your bedroom like nothing else.  This idea is extremely kinky and we’ve always been open to the idea of hiring a professional if it’s legal in your area.  This is a great way to make sure there are no feelings attached, whether it be adding a woman, or finding male companions.  Bringing a third or forth person into your bedroom can bond a couple beyond comprehension.  If your communication is good, adding a third person is a great way to enjoy experiences together.  For us, our threesomes have only bonded us way beyond the vanilla years of our marriage.  

Buy A Sex Doll:

This is a bit of an investment and can be costly, but if the above idea of having a threesome is too much, adding a sex doll can nearly be the same.  Whether it be a female doll or a male doll (and maybe a transgender doll so both of you can enjoy the fantasy).  For us, this was the best way to test out how double penetration felt and how it felt to attempt to put two dicks into one vagina.  From the stretching, to the fantasy, to pretending this is an actual third person in the room, it is as close as it gets to breaking all the monogamous norms, yet staying totally monogamous.  Open your mind and do not view sex dolls as some perversion, but instead a tool where you can both enjoy a different body in the room without worrying about the emotional attachments, the insecurities of another actual person, and the various other issues that arise when you experiment with threesomes.

Try A Milking Table or Glory Hole:

As some of you may know, we have published an article on how to make your own milking table.  Whether it be a milking table or a glory hole, letting your partner enjoy random genitals and please them could really spice up your relationship.  Whether the man decides to watch, join in (if he is bi), or stand on the other side and enjoy the receiving as well.  A glory hole and milking table keeps you totally detached from the person on the other side, but you can still enjoy the thrills of touching a different body. You can also role play and blindfold your woman, use “spacers” to make your penis different sizes, and let your partner enjoy a glory hole, without actually adding another man.

Get a piercing together:

You’d be surprised how much a piercing can spice up your sex life. Most piercings also enhance sensations.  Do some research on various piercings and what they can change as far as how it can make sex better.  Mentally, her seeing her husband’s penis pierced can be a huge turn on.  And him seeing his wife’s nipples pierced can drive him wild. 

Get a Tattoo together:

Like I said, this list is about extreme ideas to spice up your sex life.  And if you want your lover to suck  your dick or eat you out like your body is theirs, put a tattoo on it.  For us, having a tattoo on Ryan’s penis with my name on it was the hottest thing I have ever seen.  To give me his prized position in that fashion, how can I not suck it with enthusiasm? Do you really think I would suck on his dick and not make love to it when it literally has my name on it?  That’s like Andy not taking care of his Woody in Toy Story, with his name on the bottom of his boot.  This has also helped with us having threesomes with other women.  When I watch women suck his dick or fuck him, it really is my dick,  just as much as his.  Because my name is on it.  And it turns me on like crazy.

Make Videos and Share Them On Social Media:

This is another form of exhibitionism and it can really spice things up.  Whether it be an adult content, a social media account, or even a sex blog, these types of things can really spice up your bedroom.  Having good sex just for yourself is one thing, but having good sex because a million eyes are watching you is a whole different sex life. We always say to each other, let’s fuck like the camera is on us.  Because that attitude leads to our best sex. You will also notice all your inboxes fill up with compliments or people wanting to join in.

Extreme Sexual ideas:

Ryan and I call the extreme things we do ascending. When we do things that we know most couples would never even think of trying, this is our relationship ascending. We have written various blogs on the extreme things we have tried, and at this point, I do not believe there is anything two people can do with each other that we haven’t tried.  From making semen ice cubes, to eating full meals off each others crotches, to bathing in my menstrual cycle, extreme sexual connections can obviously spice up your sex life.  Keep an open mind.

There are so many extreme ideas that can bond two people together.  If your sex life is to the point where you are ready to ascend to the next level, these are just a few extreme ideas that can spice up your sex life.  However, please be aware that you must have great communication within youmr relationship before you decide to do anything this extreme.  Please talk it through thoroughly with your partner and make sure you are on the same page.  We have been answering questions online for 20 years with different couples and almost 90% of the time our answer is always, “communicate.”   No matter if it be jealousy after a threesome, or buying large dildos.  It really comes down to talking things out with your partner prior to trying anything that is new to you both.  This is crucial.   Otherwise, enjoy our list! Nothing on this list we haven’t tried ourselves, so we are not pulling these out of thin air here.  Each extreme idea has definitely spiced things up in our sex life.