How can anyone be guilty from having a spouse that is so giving?
It really is very easy, especially when you are open about your sex life. When people find out about me being woke up to blow jobs each day, or that we practice intimacy twice a day, they immediately find something wrong with it. I’ve heard from others that I must be controlling, I must be too needy, it must be torture for my wife to give so much of her time to me, we’re not normal, everyone needs breaks from sex, and the list goes on and on. I’ve heard my friends’ wives respond, “Oh that poor girl,” when speaking about Venice and the amount of time she spends with me (maybe 30 – 45 minutes a day total on average). When I say I am open about my sex life, I do not mean I give all the details about everything I do sexually. That’s what this blog is for. What I do mean is, most of our close friends do know about our circle and know that Venice and I are intimate daily.
Although we are raised to believe certain rules and moral codes as children, when we become an adult it is important that we rethink our childhood teachings. What were our parents trying to teach us, what were they trying to protect us from, and what does our own belief system and worship of God teach us? Blaming our parents or our religion for our feelings is not taking full responsibility for our own growth and re-evaluation. Most people grow up, and evaluate what their parents did right and what they did wrong. After this evaluation, they decide what they will do differently in their lives, and the way they parent their children. What happens with guilt is oftentimes different. No matter how we change our thinking, we may continue to suffer guilt when we engage in something that we grew up thinking was verboten. Sexual guilt is one of those areas that affect many couples’ lives. As with most issues in a relationship it will be easier if you address and talk about it with your committed partner.
~ Mary Jo Rapini, Licensed Relationship and Family Therapist
I believe a lot of the disconnect with intimacy and relationships is because of how we were “programmed” as children. Venice is given “social” sympathy (not really sympathy, but almost a sarcastic response to the idea of having sex too much) as a “poor girl” because each day she has decided to wake up and spend intimate time with me for 10 minutes. Yet it’s totally acceptable for her to work for 8 hours each day.
So let me try to put this in perspective so I can understand it better. 10 minutes a day to keep your marriage strong and your spouse happy; weird and unusual. 8 hours a day to spend away from your spouse and family, busting your ass to pay bills and earn money; normal and acceptable. According to the American Time Use Survey, an average person watches 2.6 hours of television a day. Men spend 6.0 hours for leisure activities each day, while women spend 5.2. This is all normal and acceptable. I’ve never heard anyone suggest to Venice that she was a “poor girl” because she watches her favorite show or spends time on the computer each night. However, if she has to spend intimate time with her husband each day, that’s considered unusual. Not that “you” time isn’t important, but “us” time is equally important in my opinion. Especially considering a lot of your security, happiness, comfort, and complacency in life is based off the idea that you have already found your life partner and you no longer have the stresses of being alone or looking for someone to date. In essence, making sure you and your spouse are both happy, is also “you” time. Well, if you have your priorities straight and you aren’t self centered.
Continue Reading Sexual Guilt From Having Such A Giving Spouse
Freaky search terms, where we post our most outrageous search terms that people used to find our website. Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.
Years ago, when Venice and I were still dating, we explored each other’s bodies daily. I had never really touched my body, my testicles, and as I already mentioned in a previous article, I 
The doctor, an Asian lady that resembled Lucy Liu, asked if she was interrupting something. Like two shamed school kids, we both looked down and shook our heads no. She then asked me what my reasons were for coming in that day. I explained to her that we found a lump in my testicles and wanted to know if I was dying. She asked me to stand up and remove my pants so she could have a look.
Not to be a pervert, but I can see why Seargent Tucker seemed to be having so many penis problems himself. This doctor was adorable. I started counting sheep in my head trying not to think about anything sexual. I was extremely embarrassed about exposing myself to a doctor, as the only person that had ever seen me nude was Venice, but I guess you can say I have this thing for Asian women. Doctor or no doctor, I said a small prayer asking the Lord to please help me control my penis so it does not make any sudden movements. I pulled my pants down and watched the doctor eyeball my penis and testicles. She fondled me for a few moments and couldn’t find the lump. I asked if I could show her where, and she nodded. I put my finger on the area of the lump and she placed her hand where I was pointing. She confirmed she also felt a lump and asked me to lay down. I still had my pants halfway down to my knees and wobbled my way to the patient table. I looked over to Venice, who was making her tongue poke out the side of her cheek inside her mouth, to suggest a blow job, and gave her a dirty look. As I laid there naked, exposed to the doctor who was fondling my balls, with my girlfriend watching, I wanted to disappear from earth. I hated every second of it. I really felt even more stupid when I found out there was nothing wrong with my testicles and it was merely a bent vein in my sac that hardens (when my testicles are not fully sagging) when I stand up.
The other day, Ryan (Mahal) and I were looking through his box of memories. It was filled pictures of me through various stages of my life, movie stubs, receipts from local movie rental stores, postage from care packages, candy wrappers, and letters I’d written to him while he was away at college. Sometimes on a roll of cash register paper that he’d have to unfurl to read, sometimes on cardboard packaging, and sometimes on college ruled paper. We spent most of that night looking at his memories. He cried a few times as he remembered how in love we were, and still are. It’s like we blinked and we went from being giddy teenagers without a care in the world to being married, raising our young, and spending our days together doing yard work and taking vacations and caring for each other.
If you have not had a blowjob for a bunch of years, don’t give up all hope.