Dear V & R –
I would really appreciate your advice and honest feedback, if you are willing to provide it!
For as long as I’ve been an adult, I’ve struggled with promiscuity, feeling shame about sex, and hiding what I really want. We won’t get into the psychological reasons why, but the long and short of it is, I’m a type-A person with a lot of issues around authenticity, attachment, and vulnerability. I’ve been with a lot of great partners, and I regret nothing I’ve done. My sexual life is full, I’ve had some incredible sex, and I have been very lucky.
I am now married to a wonderful man. Our relationship is not without issues, but all of them are manageable and I’m still in love, happy to be his wife, and very proud of the life we’ve created.
He also knows that I’ve struggled with feeling out of control, and has been very affirming. My husband has said that if I wanted to explore bringing another person into our bed, I would need to tell him. That is not sexually appealing to me, nor am I interested in that kind of relationship. I do not believe my love for him is limited to monogamy, and I know I can love this person and create safe, compartmentalized experiences for myself with hard limits.
Here’s the thing. Our culture provides options for people who want to have sex outside of their marriages. I’m thinking about paying for a provider.
There are some things that are really appealing about that option. One, there are hard boundaries and I decide what I want, when, etc. Two, female sex workers are an economic wonder to me — I have the means to create an experience that I design, that is limited to me, and I can do it with someone who is paid to provide pleasure and (hopefully) enjoys her work. Three, the emotional issues and interpersonal drama that can come from allowing a third-party to enter your sex life will be minimized. I have no interest in cultivating a FWB relationship, zero desire to allow my husband to “approve” or subsidize the experience..
I just want to pay to fuck and play. Then I want to leave. If I return, I would like to assume that will be because there was a mutually satisfactory experience. I look at it like this – I have a colorist, a masseuse, a waxer, and a therapist. Having sex with a provider has the potential to be equally as therapeutic — right?
Continue Reading Q&A: I’m A Married Woman But Want To Fuck Escorts
Venice: It comes to no surprise to me that actress, Paula Patton, wife of singer Robin Thicke, has finally filed for divorce. I’m not going to go on about “she was too good for him anyway” the way the Ricky Smiley morning radio show did this morning, because she’s not. Paula Patton and Robin Thicke are two beautiful people whose relationship was enviable because of the length of time they’d been together (since they were 14 years old), which is right up there with Denzel & Pauletta Washington (married 31 years) and Kevin Bacon & Kyra Sedgwick (married 26 years). That is the primary reason I had for going “Aww” every time I saw them in a picture together. I’m sure there are other couples who’ve been together longer, but these are the ones that come to mind from my generation. Celebrity or not, you gotta love relationships that (may or may not) outlast their careers.
When Venice and I got married we both considered Blockbuster part of our family. Throughout our marriage, Blockbuster nights, buying old used DVDs for $3.99, renting games, paying too much for candy and microwave popcorn, and even threatening to beat up employees that hit on Venice, Blockbuster has been great to us.
Ryan: So finally, a little bit of drama. For anyone who likes to stay clear of drama this next threesome memoir may not be for you. If you do not enjoy hot irons flying across the room, shoes being thrown at faces, and fist fights on the front lawn, you may want to leave this blog now. This memoir is about our last experience with a girl we have spent almost a year fucking, and then the break up. You know, the sex, the good times, the bad times, the tears, the crying, the broken hearts, the drama, and everything else that comes along with adding a new person to your relationship.
V, I am newly married and found your blog a few months ago. I love your experiences, even though I don’t think I could ever have a threesome. That has nothing to do with my question though. I am 19 and pregnant. Ever since I got pregnant my husband refuses to cum in me. I’ve asked him in every way I could think of and he says, ‘I already put one in the oven.” I am sure that’s just his excuse, because the alternative to him cumming in me is pulling out and cumming on my face. I am trying not to take it personal, but I just feel so disrespected when he does this to me. I mean, maybe a few times a month or something, but not every night. I feel like he is trying to live out his porn star fantasies and I am his real doll. Am I wrong for feeling disrespected and is there any way to take a facial and feel good about yourself?