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April 27, 2022

Q & A: My Husband (almost 5 inches in penis size) offered to wear a big strap on to see if I could orgasm. Should I?

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Q & A: My Husband (almost 5 inches in penis size) offered to wear a big strap on to see if I could orgasm. Should I?

I’ve never cum from PIV sex with my husband but I cum easily with my magic wand.  My husband also has difficultly cumming in me from PIV sex because I feel loose to him.  So we usually just skip PIV sex and mutually masturbate.

My husband knows he’s small and it bothers him. A few months ago he asked me if I ever cum from PIV sex with other men before we were married and I told he truth that I had. One guy I dated who was about 7” would hit a spot that would make me cum almost every time he fucked me.

My husband told me he was sorry he couldn’t make me cum like that and I explained that I cum harder from my vibrator than I ever have from PIV sex and that there’s more to a relationship than just sex, but I can tell it still bothers him.

So a few weeks ago, out of the blue, he tells me that he sometimes fantasizes about having a big dick and watching it going in an out of me and asks me if I would let him fuck me with a big strap on so he can experience what it would be like to fuck me with a big dick.

The thought of being fucked with a big dick does turn me on, but I’m worried how my husband would react if I cum from him fucking me with a big strap on. Would that make him more insecure about his small cock or will it make him feel better knowing he can make me cum by fucking me?

Venice’s response to big strap on?

I believe you should look into penis sleeves.   This sleeve actually fits over your husband’s penis like a thick condom and will make his length and girth much larger.  Personally, I think you should do anything in the bedroom that can make your sex lives better.   Dildos, toys, sleeves, and even other people!   If it is something he is open to try, try it.  If it makes you cum, awesome!   Just because it’s a sleeve does not mean your husband should feel insecure.  Since you are already self-conscious about the idea that the sleeve may make him feel inadequate, prepare him mentally.   Make sure he understands that its him making you cum, not just the sleeve.  The feeling of the sleeve, plus the comfort you feel with him, being in love, and wanting to enjoy him.  It’s not just pure size giving you that orgasm, it’s him and the size.  You love him, so even if that isn’t true, it doesn’t hurt to emphasize it’s not just the size.    

Personally, when I tried to go larger, I hated it.  Maybe it didn’t feel natural, or it just poked me too far in the back, but I just didn’t enjoy it.  After a few minutes I asked him to please remove it.  For the record, I also do not enjoy penetrative dildos and things of that sort.  I do enjoy vibrating toys, but just on my clitoris area.  

Ryan’s response to big strap on?

No matter a man’s size, some of us go through this phase.  I did.  It wouldn’t matter if I was almost 5 inches or 9 inches, the idea of your penis being bigger and seeing your woman take a larger size is a turn on.  Porn and various photos that float around on social media show huge 12 inch men.   We see some women swoon over it.  So why wouldn’t any size man want to add a few more inches in girth and length and see what it would be like?  Penis sleeves allow this type of experience, so why not?  I say go for it.

Although my experience wasn’t a super sexy experience, it was still an experience.  I saw my wife in pain, I felt her put her hands on my hips and crawl away from me.  It was everything that you never see in porn.  A big ass dick that doesn’t really fit comfortably inside a woman, causing pain.  If it was real, maybe she would put up with all the pain and things that go with being that hung, but with a fake sleeve?  She asked me to please stop and I did.  We haven’t tried it since.  In fact, she was turned off to the idea of anything other than a real penis inside her body.   It just wasn’t her thing.

February 9, 2022

From not having orgasms as a teenage girl, to guaranteed orgasms as a woman.

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Female Orgasm - Jada KaiFrom not having orgasms as a teenage girl, to guaranteed orgasms as a woman.

I can remember telling my husband when I first met him that I could not have orgasms.  I had played with shower heads, combs, and my fingers, but other than relaxing me, I wasn’t orgasmic.   The good thing is, I was naturally passive so I got a lot of pleasure from making him orgasm.  Although sex felt good, it wasn’t something I believe I could cum from.   Shortest blog ever?   End of story?

Well, I guess the story could end there if girls didn’t have stubborn men with egos and high sex drives.  Me not being able to achieve an orgasm was not something my future husband accepted.  After realizing oral sex was nothing like a shower head, a comb, or my fingers, orgasms was definitely something I could achieve.  However, it took my husband hours at a time staying down on me, not moving his head or body, no noise in the room (neighbors talking too loud next door or a dog barking could throw me off), and me laying as still as possible until I exploded.   The good news?  I was orgasmic!   The bad news?  It was probably very boring!  In fact, I have learned now being bisexual and really into women, most women cannot make me cum for this exact reason.  Truthfully, most of them do everything perfect.  The licking, sucking, and sometimes dig their tongues deep inside me.  But unlike porn, just because you do everything right, doesn’t mean I’m going to cum in minutes.  I’m definitely not.  In fact, I have only came once with another woman.   Although I never explained to her what I needed, she stayed down on me for well over an hour and was probably bored out of her mind!  But she did it!

Enter sex toys.

guaranteed orgasmPrior to sex toys my sex life consisted of my husband going down on me for probably an average of 45 minutes to an hour.   After I orgasmed, he would then have sex with me for his own orgasm.   We both knew I couldn’t cum through sex, so we just took turns.  And then one day we walked into a local sex shop and my life changed.  From toys that vibrate and suck on your clit, like the Satisfyer pro 2, to wands that make me convulse and twitch in seconds.

I remember coming home from the sex shop on that first night and holding a vibrator up to my clit while I was being fucked.  I came 9 times in about 10 minutes.    No longer was I not orgasmic through sex, I was now multi-orgasmic.  In fact, I’d say sex toys taught me how to relax my mind during sex and rather than needing my husband have to be a statue that didn’t move anything but his tongue, I trusted in the process.  This relaxation of the mind led me to be orgasmic through sex, without any extra toys and tools!

So I am a believer in finding a good sex toy to slowly teach yourself to relax.  It takes all the pressure off having an orgasm and tends to let things happen naturally (and quickly).  

Now, just because you have learned to make us orgasm, try not to ruin them once you’ve hit the promise land!

 

December 29, 2021

Q & A: What Are Some Creative Ways To Please My Wife Sexually?

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boring sexQ & A: What Are Some Creative Ways To Please My Wife Sexually?

While checking my search history I found a reddit post from what appears to be my wife unhappy with our sex life.   In searching around for things to spice up my marriage or find extreme things to try I happen to find your blog.   Although it is not my normal routine to email a sex blog, I figured why not.   Is there anything you can suggest for me to try with my wife in the bedroom, that isn’t too extreme, but not  boring?  Also, a bit embarrassing, I tend to orgasm quickly when we do have sex.  This is partially the reason that I have slowed down my sex life because it makes me feel insecure.  I guess I’d rather give her no sex rather than quick sex because I can’t control my ejaculation.   I know I just hit you with a load there, but any advice is appreciated.

Venice’s response  to please my wife sexually:

I actually laughed out loud reading “I just hit you with a load there…”  Oh boy.  You couldn’t even make it through the email without losing your load huh?

I’m joking!

There are so many things you can do to add an adventure to your bedroom.  Or how about, you journey outside your bedroom?  Nothing can make you feel more free during sex than walking on a beach and making out in the sand.   Or finding a nice private spot and having sex in your car.  It gets the adrenalin going and can be extremely fun.  

You can also try sex toys.  A vibrator or wand in the bedroom can be really fun.  It can also help with your premature ejaculation issue!  I will explain and demonstrate how.  Rather than getting on top of her and going full speed, lay to the side of her.  This sideways position will keep you from going too fast.   While sideways, let her use a vibrator or a wand on her body.  It will be easy for her to play with her clit while you lay to the side.  I believe that you will learn something new about your wife while she uses a wand.  She’s cums fast too!  Because the wand is no joke.  I have probably had an orgasm in 30 seconds while using a wand in this p0sition. 

So did I handle your load well?!  

Ryan’s response  to please my wife sexually:

One of the ways I would suggest is trying a hollow strap on!  Whether you are large, average, or small, this adds a whole new element to the bedroom.  If you are into role play, you can even talk to her about the idea of pretending to be someone else.  To add to the spice, suggest her wearing a blindfold so she can’t see you.  Her mind and imagination can be your greatest asset in the bedroom.  Slide on the hollow strap on, make sure she is lubricated properly, and give her a whole new sensation.  This may drive her wild.  It also can totally help with your premature ejaculation issue, as  you will have a lot less sensation while using this toy.

Disclaimer:  I have tried this with Venice and she eventually had to stop me.  The stretch was so intense that she just couldn’t handle it.  However, the sore feeling she felt for days afterwards kept her wet and horny.  She loved feeling like she had been totally fucked and stretched out.  

To be honest, it’s hard suggesting to another couple what is or isn’t boring in the bedroom. This is totally subjective.  I mean, I can think of 100s of things that can make your sex life much less boring, but those things may all be too extreme for you, or her.  My advice is to talk with her, find out the things she wants to try, ask her about her fantasies, and see if you can find ways to make her those things come true.  If you haven’t tried sex toys, ask her if she would like to try.  Really, as always, it comes down to communication.  She is asking her questions on reddit, you are asking your question on a sex blog.  You both need to sit down and ask each other these questions!   

 

October 14, 2021

Q&A: How to introduce condoms after months of raw sex?

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Q&A: How to introduce condoms after months of raw sex?

I am a 23 year old female and had been seeing this 33 year old guy for 3 months in the summer. When he first initiated sex he didn’t mention protection or move to grab a condom at all, so we had raw sex.  I didn’t mention it in the moment as I didn’t want to make things awkward (although I would’ve found it the biggest turn on if he had).

I brought it up a couple weeks later and he gave that old spiel about generally being able to tell whether a girl has anything or not. I told him that I didn’t want to have unprotected sex until we got tested. Interestingly in the weeks he took to get it done, he didn’t initiate penetrative sex – I don’t know whether he was trying to be considerate of my feelings or that he thought condom sex was pointless. We did have sex with a condom once and it wasn’t any more difficult for him to come. He said it was better than he thought it was going to be.

I ended up ending things with him for unrelated reasons but we have reconnected and started talking again in the past couple of weeks. However even though he sent me his results and he’s all clear I still don’t want to have raw sex anymore. I’m imagining the conversation and it being awkward af… What’s the best way to say that I want to use condoms indefinitely despite the fact that we didn’t at the beginning?

Thanks in advance! 🙂

Venice’s response to raw sex or condom

The best way to communicate is by communicating.   Simply tell him you aren’t going to have any type of intercourse without a condom.   There is no tricky way to get your message and point across.  Unfortunately, sometimes conversations and sexual topics can be awkward af.   But pregnancy or wondering if the birth control may land on that .1% chance it doesn’t work is definitely stressing.   And just having a casual partner’s cum inside you the following day when you are no longer horny isn’t that hot.  Personally, I wouldn’t want a casual partner’s cum in my body the entire next few days following sex, no matter how hot he is.  So I agree, raw sex is something very personal and something I’d want to experience only if I were in love.   So communicate and let him know your reasons why.  That’s really all you can do.  If it’s awkward, it’s awkward.  The alternative is exactly what you went through before, him just doing it how he wanted, or avoiding sex altogether.

September 22, 2021

I Stopped Wearing Panties And I’ll Tell You Why

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I Stopped Wearing Panties And I’ll Tell You Why

First, this will probably make my naughty selfies a bit more difficult to do, because I only wear panties in those selfies!!!! lol.  So I guess I will stop wearing panties unless I am taking selfies?  Either way, let me tell you why I have stopped wearing panties. 

As kids, we’re told, “Make sure you have on a fresh pair of underwear in case you get into a car accident!” Why? Because it would be embarrassing to have a not-so-fresh pair on if there’s ever a need to for anyone to take them off you. But, like who? The city morgue? At that point, there’s probably more than day-old vagina juice on the crotch. But that’s neither here nor there…

Later in life, as you mature and have better, advanced hygiene (and by advanced, I mean, you understand that having your moist body juices against your body for an extended amount of time can be more detrimental than you think), you realized that having undergarments on at all times isn’t always the best way to go.

In my later years of marriage, we started sleeping nude. I can’t even remember the last time I bought or even wore pajamas, a nightgown, or a t-shirt. It feels so good to be free! So it makes sense that the next step is not wearing panties during the day. At all! I wear a lot of skirts and dresses, so as I walk around, my lips feel a gentle breeze with each step, no elastic cutting into my hips and thighs! Liberating my labia have never made me feel so alive! I pass by people and I have an increased sense of confidence and panache. I watch their eyes and think, “If they only knew…” kind of daring them to glance between my legs. Wearing no panties is saying, “If you’re nervous to talk in front of people, imagine them all being naked”; however, wearing no panties in public is reversed: I am wearing the panties and my exhibitionism is quietly flaunted. It’s daring. Subtle. And if the wind blows just a little too hard, it’s dangerous and exhilarating.

But other than these simple reasons, I also have a few more things that most people may not know. 

1. Stopped Wearing Panties: Reduces the risk of infections

Infections can sometimes get really bad and painful, and practically no one wants that. Some panties, especially the synthetic ones, prevent the air from flowing in, trapping excess moisture and microbes that further act as a breeding ground for infections, leading to UTI or yeast infections.

2. Stopped Wearing Panties: Less chafing and irritation

Chafing and irritation are common problems faced by women, and if you are one of them, then going commando can relieve you from these painful conditions.  Especially after a rough sex session, or multiple sessions, the labia can be swollen and raw.  And not just from sex, from having my labia sucked on extremely hard (I love this).   At least that’s the case in my sex life.   Sometimes the abused labia skin can even peel as it heals.   Unfortunately tight fitting panties irritate and interrupt this process.  Panties that are ill-fitted can cause friction, leading to these issues in the vaginal area. So, either go for properly fitted panties or just ditch them altogether!

3. Stopped Wearing Panties: Promotes comfort

As mentioned above, while you might think ditching an panties will make it uncomfortable for you, the case is exactly the opposite. A few days down the line, you’ll feel more comfortable and relaxed. And since there’s no moisture trapped, it also keeps the odor away, making you even more comfortable!  

Air it out ladies.

4. Stopped Wearing Panties: There’s lesser bacteria migration

Your choice of a panty style and fabric can increase the chances of bacteria contamination from your anus to your vaginal area. And as you know, ureter infection is most common among women, due to bacterial growth in the genital organs. So, ditching those panties can do a whole lot good for you!

5. Stopped Wearing Panties:  Gives you a reason to keep your clothes clean

Finally, there has always been the misconception that if you do not wear panties you will get juices all over the crotch of your jeans and dresses.  Well, wash your clothes!  Is it gross that a woman wears a pair of jeans and changes her panties to keep her crotch clean, SO SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO WASH HER JEANS?!  Or is it gross that I can get my lady juices on a pair of tight jeans and just wash them before I wear them again?   In other words, does wearing panties promote lazy behavior?  Especially with Covid, I prefer washing my clothes after I wear them.  So no panties, no problem!

Other opinions from around the web:

No knickers ever

I stopped wearing knickers over six years ago. I love wearing short skirts and dresses with nothing beneath. It is much more healthy and certainly more comfortable. I don’t really worry if someone sees a bit too much. It probably makes their day. I would never go back to wearing them again. I also seldom wear a bra. ~ Julie

 

Not necessary at all

Comfort, less laundry, less expense. I have not worn any for over 20 years, And only part time for 20 or more before that. I wish I had started full time underwearless even sooner. However, It is always your choice to make. I made my choice, And will never go back!

 

I never wear panties

I’m 24 and ever since I left school I have not worn any panties under my skirts and dresses. It is much more comfortable being commando all the time.  I cannot think of a good reason to wear panties at any time.
Yes, there have been moments when people have been aware that I had no panties on, but that doesn’t bother me. There are more important things to worry about.

 

No Underwear for 28 years

My husband and I stopped wearing underwear altogether in 1991. At first it was scary. . . . . . Especially going braless to work.

But after a few weeks it just felt normal. There were some occasions in the first few months where I felt I needed to wear them, like doctor appointments and church functions, but I couldn’t wait to get out of them, and I felt like such a hypocrite.

My real friends know and don’t care, and I don’t care for fake friends.

I even convinced my sister and a couple friends to try it and they go sans most of the time.

 

Hell no we were not born with panties. We are monkeys who evolved

Do you find the monkey in a forest wearing underwear? Do you find it disgusting? Basically we are the same. Its just that our brains have evolved a bit that is all. In fact I stopped wearing panties when I was 21 and I feel really good about it. . It has saved me a few bucks and discomfort.