The Male Orgasm Rating System

umbrellaSo, why do we blog? Because we are weird and do weird shit.   Somewhere along the lines we decided to share these weird things with the rest of the world because, well, why not?

We didn’t get into blogging for traffic or to sell sex products.  We didn’t even know if our blog would ever be read by anyone other than ourselves.  However, we both got off on the idea that our random thoughts and sexual experiences would be online for us to read whenever we wanted.   Almost like a public diary.

Dear Diary:

Today I am going to create a rating system for my orgasms.  Why? Because yesterday as Venice was giving me a blow job I couldn’t stay still.  She had both of her hands around my dick stroking me while she kept the head of my penis in her mouth.  This technique literally gets me so high that I cannot function.  My eyes water up, my ears get hot, my face goes numb, and I literally feel like I have no control over my body.  Like when getting a buzz from alcohol (I’m a very happy drinker) or some sort of drug, everything I look at gives me this euphoric feeling.   For instance, when I am in this high drug-like state, I look down at Venice and she is like an absolute angel.  My mind is in an extremely positive state and everything about her makes me happy.  Her looks, her body, her personality, everything, becomes angelic.   It seems chauvinistic, but I swear a woman is at her most beautiful when she has a dick in her mouth.  I don’t know if it’s the addiction to this feeling it creates or I am just a douchebag and like seeing Venice suck my cock.  However, my truth, between you and me Diary, she never looks more perfect than when she is giving me oral sex.  I do not care if she has spit all over herself and my dick, has tears running down her face, pulls my dick out and beats it against her own face saying how much it hurts, is moaning with each slurp like my dick is the best meal she has ever had, and is twisting her neck back and forth in weird motions just to let me know she wants to rub her jaw and mouth on every angle of my penis, she is flawless.  Beyond a super model. I feel some women do not get that they create this feeling in men.  They see oral sex as submissive or disrespectful.  If they do give you oral sex it’s slow, with little movement, as if they are eating at a classy dinner table and want to use proper etiquette.   The more you try to be polite, the more awkward you look. If you stop to wipe off spit, or giggle because you feel uncomfortable, you are ruining the moment.  Sucking our dicks and then not touching it because you may get your own spit on your hands is an absolute mood killer.  There is no nice classy way to give your man oral sex.  You either suck him with authority and put inhibition on the back burner, or you are not really that good at giving head.  That is it.  If you still feel like a lady while you are sucking your man, you probably aren’t doing it right.

Back to the point.  Good thing this is only for me and my Diary, otherwise I’d have to explain to the readers why my thoughts are so random and all over the place. By the way, if you aren’t me and you are reading this, please stop now.  No one gave you permission to look through my Diary.  Just because it’s here on the blog doesn’t mean it’s right for you to snoop through my shit.  Shame on you.

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Top Drop, Aftercare, BDSM, Threesomes, And Vanilla Sex

aftercareYesterday while on twitter I made a comment about no longer wanting to have threesomes with Venice because I feel depressed afterwards. Although I have never tried to figure out the explanation behind this depression, I got a response from a twitter follower named @Verbal75 that used the term Top Drop. Venice and I had never heard of the term so I asked him to explain what it meant, and he did.  Although I am unsure if that is exactly what I am feeling regarding threesomes (that will be another blog), I have dealt with feeling depressed after having everyday vanilla sex with Venice.  Either way, as an introvert I was interested in the terminology and asked if @Verbal75 would like to write a blog about what he was trying to explain to me.   Amazingly, by the next day, I had this story in our inbox.

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Random Moments – The Last Blockbuster Employee

the last blockbuster employeeWhen Venice and I got married we both considered Blockbuster part of our family. Throughout our marriage, Blockbuster nights, buying old used DVDs for $3.99, renting games, paying too much for candy and microwave popcorn, and even threatening to beat up employees that hit on Venice, Blockbuster has been great to us.

The one thing I always assumed about video store employees is that they loved movies, and seemed to enjoy the idea of working at video stores.  Unlike working at Lowes or Home Depot where the conversation with customers tends to be about light fixtures or nail sizes, the Blockbuster employees would grab each video you were renting and tell you how much they enjoyed or hated it.  They would even throw in a the fact that they watched it 3 days before it was released to the public just because they could.  This always made me a bit envious.  I knew I could have watched it in the movie theater, but I didn’t.  I knew technically everyone in the world had the opportunity to watch it before it came out on video, but it was the 3 to 6 month period of darkness between the movie not being in theaters and it showing up at Blockbuster that I really wanted to see the movie and I couldn’t.  However, Benjamin could.  He had the Blockbuster employee, a few days in advance, hook up.  Oh yes, how bad I wanted to have that hook up.

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Threesome Memoirs – The Break Up

breaking upRyan: So finally, a little bit of drama. For anyone who likes to stay clear of drama this next threesome memoir may not be for you.  If you do not enjoy hot irons flying across the room, shoes being thrown at faces, and fist fights on the front lawn, you may want to leave this blog now. This memoir is about our last experience with a girl we have spent almost a year fucking, and then the break up.  You know, the sex, the good times, the bad times, the tears, the crying, the broken hearts, the drama, and everything else that comes along with adding a new person to your relationship.

And maybe one day we will have all of the above for you to wet your chops and read through, but unfortunately, much like all of our experiences, we just do not attract drama.   I lied in the intro. That was my attention grabber.  That will probably be the most exciting thing you’ll read in this blog today.  Everything we do is talked through and thought out.  Since there is no emotional attachment to the other girl, when one of us decides we no longer want to spend time with her, we no longer invite her over.   As far as friendships or relationships outside of the bedroom go, Venice and I have never had real friendships with anyone we’ve dealt with.

Venice:  I’m not a hit-it-and-quit-it kind of person. At least I wasn’t in the beginning. My feelings changed from one female to the next and with each subsequent experience. At first, I really wanted a friendship. I wanted to get to know her as a person. I wanted to know things about her, not just what she looked between her legs. I wanted her to be curious about me, not just see me as someone she ate out every other Friday.  I wanted a friend, someone that I could talk to and hang out with with our clothes on. I thought I wouldn’t feel comfortable with Ryan not accepting the the third. I wanted her to accept us as a couple, not just me accepting her for a threesome. I wanted us all to get along. Once we realized that because we were a couple, no single female really saw a future in a relationship with us (which is correct), we became more of a side thing in her life.  There are women who enjoy the thrill of joining a couple, but while single and playing the field, they possibly had more serious dates that took precedent.  Even though I am okay with this, I decided that a friendship wasn’t really worth it and became the hit-it-and-quit it person I didn’t want to be. I did want any girl we played with to be polite as a person. I did want her to be freaky in bed (and submissive). And I did want her to be honest, unattached, and to take care of her body, etc. It was a combination of things that could make or break a threesome relationship. Maybe it was a combination of expecting too much and not communicating these things to our threesome partners.

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Ray Rice, TMZ, NFL, General Public, Shame On Us

This blog has now been updated with a statement from Janay Rice, Ray Rice’s wife, the same person in the video getting knocked out.

I woke up this morning feeling like I had a horrible nightmare, feeling like I’m mourning the death of my closest friend.  But to have to accept the fact that it’s reality is a nightmare in itself. No one knows the pain that [the] media & unwanted options from the public has caused my family. To make us relive a moment in our lives that we regret every day is a horrible thing. To take something away from the man I love that he has worked his ass [off] for all his life just to gain ratings is horrific.

THIS IS OUR LIFE! What don’t you all get. If your intentions were to hurt us, embarrass us, make us feel alone, take all happiness away, you’ve succeeded on so many levels. Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is! Ravensnation we love you!”

TMZ doesn’t care.  They got ratings.  The news doesn’t care. They got ratings.  The NFL doesn’t care.  They only suspended Ray Rice for 2 games and  currently let other players play the season while charges are pending (that do not have TMZ videos out).  Ray Rice has nothing pending and is already in the counseling he agreed to for this situation because he was a first time offender. The people didn’t care.  This was barely mentioned in February when it actually happened and the millions that tweeted yesterday, reacted because they saw a viral video and it was #trending.  Who does care?  Janay and Ray Rice. The two people in the video that have made amends and worked out their problems.  It’s okay the world has decided to judge Ray Rice, because what he did was wrong, but to punish him again (which really punishes his wife and daughter as well) just because TMZ releases a video in an attempt to promote their sleazy website.  Pathetic.  Shame on US.

Ray Rice, TMZ, NFL, General Public.

In that order.

Above is the entire video that has been spreading all over the internet since this morning. This is not the first video released, as the original elevator footage was released prior to his hearing on May 29, 2014. That footage showed Ray Rice drag his unconscious wife out of the elevator and move away from her as security approached him.  He never denied hitting her and most of us assumed what went on in the elevator prior to him dragging her out unconscious, resembled the Jay Z and Solange video.  Any man leaving a woman unconscious is a piece of shit.  We expected him to be dealt with and punished accordingly.

Below is a link that shows each arrest in the NFL since 2000.  What happened before 2000?  Don’t worry about it, because TMZ won’t have that footage online so no one will ever really care.

NFL Arrest Record

After the document loads, hit CTRL F, put term domestic violence in the popup box, and be prepared to hit next a whole lot. Star wide receiver Dez Bryant is in there for beating up his own mother.  Yes, he beat up his own mother.  This is a big problem in the NFL, and because a video was released doesn’t make it worse. Do we really need a video to sympathize with domestic violence?

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