Category: Question & Answer

Your question, our answers.  Relationship advice, sex advice, and us fielding all types of questions from all over the internet.

October 3, 2018

Q&A: Help, My Husband had 17 orgasms in one session! Multiple Orgasms Question

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Help, My Husband had 17 orgasms in one session! Multiple Orgasms.

So, I was wondering how common this was… my husband (38) can ejaculate and orgasm multiple times without having a break in between and without losing an erection. I’ve been with a few guys in my time and they always go once and once they cum that’s it, game over for at least half an hour. But with my partner he can keep going until he gets physically tired/ or too sore to carry on. Our record was 17 times in one session. On the flip side I’m a female who’s never experienced a multiple orgasm because I think I have a strong refractory response. So my question is, how is this possible? He stops fully ejaculating (producing semen) after around 6/7 orgasms but the response is still the same. I’ve tried asking my husband if he was always able to do it and haven’t really had a definitive answer. I worry I’m not pleasuring him enough as well as I seem to link this with him having a high sex drive.

Venice’s response to a man with multiple orgasms:

Semen production seems to just be the byproduct of ejaculation, because if a man can ejaculate 17 times, it’s only natural to assume that he will not produce semen as fast as he can expel it. So after about 6 or 7 times, for him to be completely dried out…yea, that makes sense. However, I don’t believe this is an issue of you not pleasing him enough. Some mens’ libido is insatiable, and the only way things that can stop him from going on forever are pain (e.g. dry/chafed penis skin, pulled muscle) or stamina (e.g. each orgasm takes exponentially longer to achieve). It’s rare, but from reading online and seeing various questions like yours, a lot of men also do not have the refractory period that shuts their libido down.  Probably the ones with the really hot girlfriends and wives?!   Sex feels good. If he can easily get 17 orgasms out in the time it would take another man 1 or 2, then why wouldn’t he? 

My only advice here is, communicate with him and make him understand that after 16 of them, it isn’t quite as fun or special to you.  If it is, ignore this advice.  If it bothers you and you are bored because he keeps going, make sure to let him know.  Some men think  going forever means they are good in bed.  That’s not true.  Knowing when to stop makes you a great lover, not timing yourself and going forever.   

Ryan’s response to a man with multiple orgasms:

I used to masturbate prone which gave me the ability to orgasm without needing to be erect.  I made a blog about the effects this had on me later in life, one of them being I can also have multiple orgasms until I get tired. I think because I didn’t need an erection to masturbate, I could just keep going for as long as I wanted.  When I first started having sex with Venice, I didn’t even know I was supposed to stop until I was tired.  I would orgasm over and over until I couldn’t produce anymore semen and then stop.  The internet wasn’t as informative and there really wasn’t any place I could learn how a man should orgasm.  It was natural for me to cum and keep going.  Honestly, I don’t think Venice knew better either, because it wasn’t something we discussed or mentioned being different from normal sex. Neither of us was sexually experienced. Over the years I have gradually had orgasms where it was one major ejaculation and I stop.  In those cases, I do have a refractory period.  I am not sure if I learned to build up my release so when it does happen, I relax and just let everything in my body go.  Or gradually over the years, I cum once because I am tired after cumming once and don’t really see the need to keep going and make myself feel like I am dying from exhaustion.   There are still times I can release and ask Venice to keep going, or she will give me oral sex when I pull out of her until I cum again.  I can’t explain why or how I do this other than my sex drive is so strong, having an orgasm doesn’t take away how much I want to cum in her.  My body stays turned on because of how good sex was, not that I wasn’t satisfied.  If I wasn’t satisfied, not only would I have a refractory period, I’d have a hard time getting hard to begin with.    

It’s a compliment he wants you so bad.  If it bugs you that he keeps going, let him know.  Admittedly, without a refractory period, it’s easy to get “greedy” and keep going.  Sometimes the urge to orgasm makes you forget that there is a human underneath you that is exhausted, in pain, sore, and just wants to relax and wash.  Sex isn’t about torturing your partner just because you can keep going.

September 26, 2018

Making a Sex Cocktail inside your Vagina

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Making a Sex Cocktail with your Vagina.

So if you are not open minded and ideas about the body gross you out, do not read any further.  This is a drink made inside your body, mixing all the juices you and your partner have to offer.   

First you and your partner can entertain oral sex however you prefer it.  If you take turns or you 69 is your thing.  Both of you leave each other messy with saliva and really wet up each others genitals.  This is the first ingredient to your sex cocktail.  Next up is the fun part, you have sex!  This will mix your saliva, the froth from his penis, the natural juices inside your vagina.  Sound delicious yet? 

The next part is a bit tricky.  I’ve heard men have trouble urinating while erect, especially while having sex.  Ryan pulls his dick out and kind of rubs his head and as he urinates, shoves it all the way back inside my body.  This works great for us.  On top of his own urine, I will squirt throughout sex, let him pull out and I will squirt on his head, and he will insert himself back inside me and mix both of our flavors.

The final ingredient?  Both of you orgasm!  

When you are both done, his penis will be as sloppy as it can get, with both of your urine, his froth, your vagina juices, saliva, his semen, and your own orgasm fluids.  Enjoy the flavor and suck his body clean.  And if he is a man that is into the connection, your bodies, he will go down and drink from the holy grail of creampies.  A sex cocktail!

Below is a question from someone online that has shown interest in this type of activity:

Okay, so long story short, for a few months now I had a sexual fantasy about my boyfriend peeing inside of me. I watched porn and touched myself thinking about it, but didn’t bring it up to my partner yet.

I honestly have no clue where this fantasy came from, if it has something to do with being a submissive type, but the thought of it is so sexy and intimate to me, but being peed on doesn’t interest me.

Before I do bring it up to him (will still probably be a while since I’m not so confident about sharing this yet) I wanted to ask what are some of yours experiences? Is it unhealthy? Any tips? Thanks for sharing!

Venice’s response: 
As long as you both are clean, no infections or stds, you will be fine.  Although his urine may throw off the pH balance of your vagina, this can happen during normal intercourse or with a person’s semen that you haven’t been with before.  Women all over the world “squirt” urine during sex and continue to get pounded afterwards.  Your own urine would throw off your pH balance, like his would.  Your vagina can cleanse itself.  Does that mean you are guaranteed not to get a UTI?  No, you can get a UTI from taking baths, using too much soap in that area, panties being too tight, keeping semen inside yourself, and a 100 other ways.  

I did not want to argue over whether a “squirt” is urine or a females ejaculation, as I do believe a woman can ejaculate fluids, I have.  Although rare, it definitely wasn’t urine.  A lot of woman mimic these rare occurrences with urine.  I do.  This is why that topic is so confusing.  Sometimes it is pee, sometimes it isn’t.  

Ryan’s response: 
We are conditioned through society to feel like certain things are okay, while others are not.  If we didn’t know what sex was, it would seem like the most filthiest thing 2 humans can do.  Two bodies sweaty and rubbing against each other, kissing and sucking each others mouths and swapping saliva, both of your genitals dripping with fluids naturally lathering up for intercourse, then rubbing back and forth for an hour until you each cum inside each other.  Filthy huh?  Hell no, it sounds like I just wrote a love story and a new 50 shades of grey!  Urine is only as gross as your mind allows it to be.  Have fun!

September 19, 2018

Q&A: I am uncut, how do I clean my penis properly? I have smegma!

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I am uncut, how do I clean my penis properly?

I was raised in a household where all things sexual and about sex parts were controversial and not discussed. I am a teenager and just learned that my foreskin retracts much more than I previously thought. I’ve been able to retract it a bit below the head. Sorry to go into graphic detail but what I found is disgusting.  There is a smegma all over my head kinda hardened and just below the bottom of it.  The worst part is that it is so damn sensitive that using a shower head or something to clean would probably kill me.  It is just so painful.

How do I go about cleaning my penis properly? I’m also pretty sure some of it is also at the inner part of my foreskin so how do I clean that as well? Any and all suggestions help.  Just please help me clean my penis.

Venice’s response:
Warm bath, retract, lather, repeat.  Do this daily.  Women have a clitoral hood, that is very much like foreskin, that we also pull back and wash underneath.  Just like the penis head, the clitoris is extremely sensitive. A lot of women do not know that this area needs to be cleaned and can also have the same type of build up you described.  This can cause an odor. The clitoris is very sensitive, but I can still pull back the hood and wash the areas around it.  Pull up your big boy britches and get to cleaning.  You’ll get used to it.  I’d imagine if you never brushed your teeth in your life, it would hurt to rub a brush against your teeth and gums.  Of course you get used to it  The same goes for your penis.  It won’t fall off or break.

Ryan’s response:
Sit in a warm bath, retract the skin, and let it soak.  A few simple wipes once the smegma has unhardened should be enough.  I can’t imagine your head being so sensitive you can’t touch it. When you urinate, practice pulling your foreskin all the way back so you start getting used to the feeling.  If you can retract the foreskin enough, the inside skin will clean itself, because the inside skin just became the outside the outside.  Lather and wash.

Interesting question that a lot of us cut men never deal with.  My penis head isn’t sensitive unless I have just had an orgasm.  I have also never had to learn to wash it, because it just like washing my hands.  I do understand how being uncut can be a bit more complicated, especially if a child isn’t educated properly.  Hopefully parents can learn to be open enough to teach their kids how to properly clean their genitals. I have heard a technique some parents teach their children to do at a young age. The let their child know to retract the foreskin of their penis when they urinate, which helps raise awareness. This helps the child learn about their foreskin, the retraction technique, and later, being able to keep it clean with this same technique.

On another note, I recently learned how to keep my balls totally fresh and smelling amazing for the entire day.  Something I was never taught and had to learn from someone else recently.  I will blog about it.

September 12, 2018

Q&A: Have you ever vomited due to deepthroating?

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Have you ever vomited due to deepthroating? Sucking dick.

I’ve never been able to deep throat very well but obviously that’s something that guys like and something I’d like to be able to do. I live with my long term bf and with both of us being on antidepressants, our sex drives are quite calm. That being said, when we do get intimate I want it to be great for him. Anyways, I decided to push myself for the deep throat during foreplay. I gagged but nothing happened so I kept going. Then I felt it start to come up. I could tell he was enjoying himself so I tried to swallow/push it back down but NOPE! Soon inside my mouth was an erect dick surrounded by vomit (I’m so sorry, I know this is gross). I pulled my mouth off and rushed to the bathroom and he followed me. I went straight for the toilet and he leans over the shower and does the same thing… Blow job turned into puke fest. I was horrified. I ran back into the room to change the sheets while he cleaned off. I buried myself under the covers in embarrassment. He came back in the room and laid down and we didn’t say a word to each other.

Has anyone else ever vomited due to deepthroating? Questions about Sucking dick.

Venice’s response to vomit while sucking dick

Yes.  The first time this happened for me was with Ryan was on top of me face fucking me. We were a  bit tipsy.  Although I do not have much of a gag reflex, the combination of alcohol and his penis being shoved down in my throat, caused me to puke.  He pulled out and it went all over my face and the bed. Unlike you, rather than running to the bathroom, he held me down and shoved his dick back in my mouth.  I felt his crouch and balls slapping against my face with my own puke.  It didn’t take long for him to cum after this because the idea got him extra excited and aggressive.  He pulled out and came all over my face and puke.

Because of that experience, for years, Ryan would hold my head down, try to make me gag, and say to me while sucking his dick, “puke on it and I will stroke myself in it until I cum.” I just could never puke. Well last week we were both persistent and decided we weren’t stopping until he had vomit on him. He held my head down until I had no choice but to gag.  The intense gagging causes tears to run down my face, which only excited Ryan more.  I was persistent and really had to force myself to puke.  The cool thing was, once it started, it doesn’t stop. The other cool thing was, it was more like clear slick frothy puke, not like beef stew or anything. I drank a lot of water prior.  Either way, I did puke and watched him stroked himself in it.  After I puked once, I knew I would keep puking if he tried to force my head down onto his dick.  The smell, the idea of sucking on my own puke, and my gag reflex being totally activated.  Ryan didn’t care. Although we role play a lot and we have our safety word, I actually was a bit scared and said “I can’t do this any more.”  Not my safety word, but I remember feeling scared of the puking feeling.  The look in my eyes only turned him on more and he grabbed my head and shoved me all the way down on him again.  I didn’t really fight, so he used my hair to pull me up and down on his dick. I instantly puked again.  I would try to pull away, put he’d force me to puke in his lap then immediately shove me back down on his dick, controlling my movements by holding on to my hair.  I kept puking all over his lap. Every now and then I would force myself away, crying.  The tears are a natural reaction to puking, so I couldn’t help it.  He would look at me stroking his dick in my fluids.  He let go of himself and asked me to stroke his dick for him.  So I started stroking him with two hands while he leaned back focusing on trying to cum.  His dick and balls felt so wet, almost like trying to hold a large fish.  As I saw his body tense up, I knew he was going to cum.  He grabbed my head one last time and shoved me all the way down on his dick.  My mouth was against his hairy wet crotch.  I could feel his dick twitching in my throat and I knew no matter what I couldn’t come up until he was done.  I was slightly gagging, and each time the air in my throat was able to squeeze around his dick  and out of my mouth, I watched the vomit in his lap bubble from my breath.  He finally let go of my head and I was able to come up off his dick.  He looked at me and told me to swallow.  I already had.  

Although your experience was horrible for you, it is on some couples bucket lists. It’s not the end of the world, and the truth is, that moment will be on both of your minds forever. You can make it an embarrassing thing, or embrace the idea that you care so much for your boyfriend that you’d do anything for him, including throwing up on his dick because you wanted it down your throat. Its equivalent to a man looking at your ass and saying “I’d like to sniff her ass and be her panties for a day.” Yea, that would be gross right? Being our panties for a day?  Well, seeing his dick and saying, “I want to suck that dick until it makes me puke.” You must really admire him and his dick.  

Ryan’s response to vomit while sucking dick

Congratulations.  Sex is scary, dirty, and gross if you focus on what is actually happening.  The fluids, the squirting, the saliva, the sweat, the cum, sometimes the blood, and yes, even vomit.  Two people exploring everything their bodies can do to one another is an amazing feeling.  On another note, I do remember Venice learning how to deep throat.  There were multiple sessions where she would try, eyes would water, and she would get “sensitive’ and gag non stop.  The more she tried in that session, the easier she would gag and nearly vomit.  We’d stop and try the next day.  You sound like an amazing woman that is willing to push yourself to learn to control your gag reflex.  Puking happens, don’t let that stop you from learning to please your man better than any woman would ever be able to.  Being on the receiving end of a deep throat, is one of the greatest feelings on earth.

August 1, 2018

Q&A: Insecure in an Open Relationship

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Open relationship problems.   

For years my (33M) wife (33F) and I have talked about an open relationship for her, due to my sexual performance issues. Well we officially started in February, but I’m terribly insecure about certain things.

I know most open relationships are sort of mutual. However, ours started out I guess in more of an unusual way.

My wife is very very sexual, like she’s the kind of woman who want sex 2-3 times a day. In fact, many times we’ve done it 2-3 times a day. Our record is 8 times on weekend.

However, while our libido’s do match, my wife isn’t sexually fulfilled for two reasons:

  1. My premature ejaculation problem

  2. My penis isn’t big enough for her (she’s a definite size queen, we’ve tried 9″ dildos and she not only takes them with ease, but loves it so much more).

For years, she’s asked if having a fuck buddy on the side would be wrong. I’ve always told her yes she can, but when it came down to it, she backed out. Saying, she wanted to be monogamous etc.

Well, oddly what changed her mind was a conversation she had with a guy who told her he had a similar problem with his wife (low sex drive in her case). And his wife allows him to ‘play’ on the side and it never affected their love etc.

So randomly one day while at work in Feb, I got a text from her saying.

“I thought about our sex plan…..I’m ready to do it, I can easily have sex without feelings, my main concern all a long was whether you’d be ok”.

So to ‘test’ whether I’d be ok.

She and I went to a club, the plan was I stay at the bar while she danced and got frisky with different guys.

Well, I didn’t experience any jealousy at all. In fact, it was quite hot!

So we went a long.

She has 3 regular sex partners aside from me, and she’s had a 4 random one night stands in the last 5-6 months.

I have had 2, both very attractive girls. BUT, neither as fun sexually as my wife. Oddly I did last way longer with them than my wife, unsure why.

What’s bothering me though, is that my wife is having wayyyyy more sex than I am. She hooks up with each of them at least once a week, obviously having sex a few times each time they hook up.

One is her former boss, a stereotypical big black guy. One is her dance partner (something I don’t like and I’ll explain) and the other is a body builder who works at the mall (chill guy, I like him the best as he always asks her if I’m ok with this and doesn’t try to push her too far).

Why am I insecure now?

  1. She admitted to me that all over them are far far better in bed

  2. The most orgasms she’s ever had with me in a day is 5, she had 17 with her former boss and routinely has at least 3 each time

  3. During sex with me (which is more frequent now), she’ll tell me stories of things she does with them. Apparently, she’s far far more daring and exhibitionist with them. Especially with her former boss. I knew of things she did as she would tell me, but during sex she’d tell me little details that bother me a lot. Such as, how he chooses very slutty outfits for her to wear while with him in public. That pissed me off because for years I’ve tried and encouraged her and she was always too shy.

  4. She tells me a lot during sex how much their big bodies and cocks turn her on.

  5. I was fine with her dance partner and her hooking up. But I went to one of their Latin nights socials to spy on her a bit. I honestly, thought, like she said at first…that she’d be discreet. However, she was FAR from discreet. When dancing kizomba, they took it to another level and were basically dry humping on the dance floor. He gets very touchy with her, hand on her ass which almost no one else except a few married couples were doing. I confronted her and she admitted that yes, he sometimes gets a little too touchy in class but to her, it didn’t seem too inappropriate. But she did say, she’ll tell him about the hand on her butt issue.

So now, while I do like the fact that she’s getting sexually fulfilled and otherwise our open relationship is working well. She never hides stuff intentionally and we’re having a lot more sex too. Plus, I got to experience 2 other women, both of whom were very attractive.

I don’t want to stop her, but I don’t want to feel like such a shitty lover. I know, honestly I am at least for her.

Does it get easier?

Venice’s response:
I can make my answer short and sweet.  This is not going to get easier for you when the reasoning behind your open relationship is your penis isn’t big enough for her and you do not please her in bed.

Ryan’s response:
So you are more upset about him putting his hand on her butt while they dance and not him putting his penis inside her at home?   As most of our readers know, we are in an open relationship where we play with other women, as long as Venice and I are together.  However, none of these women fill a void that Venice lacks.  In fact, I end up loving my wife more after experiences because the women can’t provide me what she does:  Love, good sex, proper hygiene, and various other things. If I felt jealousy or I felt she wanted to be with other women because I didn’t give her oral sex properly, that would be a huge problem.  If she wanted to be with other women and use bigger strap-ons, because my penis wasn’t big enough.  I would not be okay with this either.  I will save any further criticisms to your situation because I admit I lack understanding.  I’d say you are in an open relationship for all the wrong reasons.  It won’t get easier.

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