Category: Sex Toy Reviews

Find out the low down on the toys we keep on the down low. Sex toy Reviews. Sexy lingerie. Reviews about various items from all types of sex shops around the world!

October 19, 2015

Review: Fidelity G-Spot (Double Penetration) by Masturgasm

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Let’s start this review off with a bit of a disclaimer.  We really just do reviews for fun, not to be the most informative or sex toy gurus in the sex blogosphere. If you are a long time reader, then you know most of our blogs are light-hearted and fun.  If you are new to our site and reading reviews to get accurate research information on a sex toy that you are planning on sticking inside your anus, you may want to check out another site.  This is not what we do.

So let’s talk about Masturgasm. We browsed there catalog and saw a variety of toys that looked interesting to say the least. Even if you aren’t in the market for sex toys, their catalog is a blog topic in itself.  Awesome looking butt plugs shaped like fat girls, animal penises, and even a dildo that is shaped like Darth Vader.  I seriously didn’t even skim the top of all the variety they have.  Anything you can think of has been turned into a dildo.  Looking for a semi truck with a flat tired on the side of a highway on the planet Mars?  They have it! Not only do they have it, they also have that truck drivers penis molded in the shape of a tire iron.  Crazy dildos for crazy nights indeed.

Fidelity_G_SpotWhat we decided to do was be a little less crazy and try out the Fidelity G-Spot.   You know, a simple double penetration, clitoris massager, cock ring, and ball stretcher all in one.  Yea, pretty much we were not going to go crazy at all.  Just an average day here for Venice and I at Fuckblogging.com.

I’ve never seen anything like this before so I will give my opinion from my perspective and Venice will write a short review of her experience with the toy as well.

Continue Reading Review: Fidelity G-Spot (Double Penetration) by Masturgasm

October 12, 2015

Review: blueMotion NEX|1 by OhMiBod

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blueMotion-2-BTalk about the greatest thing ever made. I’m totally sold and I love this sex toy more than any sex toy I’ve ever owned. I wish something like this could have existed for Venice and I when I was off in college.

Definitely a must for long distance relationships.

I will try to explain how it works. First go to the app store and download the OhMiBod Remote:

Android – Google Play store

iPhone – iTunes App Store

Once the app is installed and on your mobile device, you will need to sign up an account before you get started.  All you will need is an email, username, and password. I know this may sound like a lot of work and as soon as you touch a vibrator your mind is programmed to think, “Orgasm, Dick, Pussy, Shake, Shake, Shake” but you will have to follow these simple steps to get your body into the high tech world of long distance vagina play.  Your partner will have to follow these same steps if you want him/her to control your toy long distance.  Your phone controls the signal to the toy, his/her phone controls your phone’s signals. That is how this device works.  However, if you do not have a partner and you just want to ride the subway and pretend you are texting while this vibrator uses your clitoris as a punching bag, you can use your own mobile device to control that pink button bulging from your panties.

upskirtThe vibrator itself slides inside the panties provided by OhMiBod. The panties are sexy as hell.  Not sure how it is “one size fits most” but they look sexy for sure. The vibrator has a small lump that will put more pressure on the clitoris area. It lights up near the lower portion.  This light is the actual button you will use to turn off the vibrator and turn it on.  This is also the light that blinks when it is not connected to any Bluetooth device.  Your vagina and panties now look like they have the terminator hid inside them.

Cool…As…Hell…Huh?

Continue Reading Review: blueMotion NEX|1 by OhMiBod

October 6, 2015

Review: Hugo by LELO (Prostate Massager)

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LELO_Insignia_HUGO_product-1_black_2x_1Oh how I hate to do a mediocre review to a product that seems so well thought out, nicely packaged, and almost like a sex toy for royalty. However, my anus seems to be that of a common man, made only for a lady’s tongue or the tip of her finger.   The Hugo by LELO just wasn’t for me.

Hugo_Packaging_shot_Black_1000_0So yesterday we received a lovely package from LELO. Although we have never tried a LELO product, we definitely will in the future. Their mailing packaging is discrete, and their product packaging is classy and sexy.  In fact, seeing the box wrapped in a cute cloth bag made me want to do an “unboxing” for YouTube.  It really is nice.  Almost like a Samsung Galaxy unboxing for your anus.

So before I start, here is a little bit of “too much information” about me. I have a very sensitive prostate and have had prostatitis in the past. My prostatitis (an inflammation of the prostate) was onset by riding a dirt bike through a rough field for hours.  This irritated my prostate and I had to be on antibiotics for months. Since then, I have been especially careful with anything that I feel can be harmful to my prostate area.  A powerful vibrator on the prostate can possibly cause inflammation, especially if you have a sensitive prostate.  However, it works both ways, because a prostate massage can actually be helpful when the prostate is full (clogged).  So I guess this is a case of having to pick your poison carefully. Being that it feels so good and I have always enjoyed a finger, I will risk it.

Continue Reading Review: Hugo by LELO (Prostate Massager)

September 28, 2015

Review: Balls Deep 9 Inch Stroker Pussy by Doc Johnson

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0684_30_bxThis story is a bit funny because recently we’ve reached out to a few companies with media inquiries regarding their products.  Our goal was to get more content for our review section.  Of course we start contacting companies we considered to be the most popular, Doc Johnson easily in the top 3.   With that being said, we sent the public relations department an email and told them a little about our website and past reviews.  Within a few hours we received a response.  Little did we know, we had already reviewed a product of theirs: Realistic Vagina – The Pocket Pussy.  The email response had the following quoted:

So, Venice and I have found the worst sex toy ever.  The pocket pussy. What started off as a simple curiosity, turned into me experiencing the midget’s version of a Fleshlight.  Worst toy ever.

Yea, so pretty much, not a great start.  However, in The Pocket Pussy’s defense, those quotes were from our original review, which we had edited a few months later when I revisited the sleeve on my own one night (self snitching).  Originally I was using The Pocket Pussy like a Fleshlight, which meant I was leaving it inside the container it’s stored in.  Because of the small size, that absolutely didn’t work.  After I took it out of the hard container and used it as a sleeve (holding the soft material in my hand), I rewrote the review in a more positive light and turned the old review into a quote. However, we’d look like jackasses explaining that to the Doc Johnson’s public relation person, so we just left things how they were and took the L(oss).   There is no way we were going to admit to being sex toy inept.

So we marked Doc Johnson off our list and started looking for less popular companies maybe we haven’t already given bad reviews to, such as, “Big Silly Willies Trailer Park Toys — we also make silicone beer holders!“

A few weeks later we get a box in the mail from Doc Johnson.  How did I know it was from Doc Johnson? Because every corner of the box was taped up with large writing that said Doc Johnson all over it.

So yea, our mailman knows what’s up now.

Not really sure what was inside it, I held the box up to my ear and listened for a ticking sound, just to make sure it wasn’t some sort of time bomb or explosive vagina device.  You never know, our review of their Pocket Pussy was pretty harsh.

……..Worst toy ever.

As I opened the package, those words echoed in my head.  “Worst toy ever.  Worst toy ever.  Worst toy ever.” Venice stood back against the wall covering both of her ears.

Continue Reading Review: Balls Deep 9 Inch Stroker Pussy by Doc Johnson

September 21, 2015

Review: Hipster by Liberator

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First of all, Liberator is a local company just a few miles away from us, so let’s just say we may be a bit biased.  🙂

Okay, not really, being bias is for the weak. Venice and I are strong like bull! However, it is cool to know that the flagship store is near us. Knowing that if this order didn’t turn out right, I could easily storm into the flagship store and flip over tables of anal plugs and penis pumps until I got my satisfaction.  “First of all Ms. Liberator Store Manager Person, either you guys need to add a few inches to this Hipster’s height, or you need to make my penis a few inches bigger.  No exceptions.   I’ll wait over there by the strap ons and ball gags until you decide what you need to do.”  Let’s just hope the Hipster is everything we wanted it to be…

So we got this small package in the mail and had no idea what it would be.  We hadn’t ordered anything small and the box was the size of computer tower.   I opened the box (in the future, if anyone is interested in us recording our box openings, leave a comment and let us know) and saw what appeared to be a cute red velvet material folded nicely, a nice zipped up bag the size of a round couch pillow, and a promotional photo of a woman and her Hipster.  Seeing the red velvet and the promotional photo let me know this was the Hipster. My first thought was, “Oh God, this is blow up furniture.”  A bit disappointed, I pull the material out of the zipped up bag.  It looks like a very durable material. My next thought was, “How long will it take Venice and I to pop this damn thing.”   I saw printed on a small piece of paper, “Vacuum compressed.”  Unsure exactly what that meant, I dug my fingers into the plastic and ripped the material out of the bag.  And then… I was attacked!   As soon as the air hit the inside of the bag, I learned that not only was it not inflatable, it was ready to come out of the package and launch at me.  I panicked, thinking the Hipster would get stuck in the plastic as it expanded, I fought back to rip off all the plastic wrapping so it could expand without any problems.  It did.  In fact, I was blown away by the packaging.  The Hipster is huge, sturdy, and I don’t think there is any way Venice and I could do anything destructive to this thing no matter how rough we got.   I grapple/mma on material similar to what is inside the Hipster, and this stuff is durable as hell.

2015-07-14For me, this is a good thing.  Because recently Venice broke a bouncing sex chair (and my penis) a few months ago and it scarred/scared me for life. We just happen to be filming as it happened.  Yes, that *.gif is the bouncing sex chair breaking mid bounce.  Thankfully my penis made it out of the accident with only a few minor scraps and bruises.

Anyway, I promised myself that if we did more reviews, we would not judge how safe a sex toy is on the environment, how certain rubber will loosen the vagina much more significantly if it’s twice the size of a softer rubber dildo, or how rubbing a sex toy against your body may cause red marks if you do it too hard.  We review for fun, for the experience. I’d like to make sure all our reviews talk about our own personal experience with the product and not something we’ve read or researched.   I also like to have fun, make jokes, and just be myself. No infomercials allowed.  Let’s leave those types of reviews to the sex toys gurus… I just want to fuck Venice while she bends over this sexy ass red velvet pillow.

With that being said, when Venice saw the Hipster on the bed, she ran full speed with her jeans on and belly flopped onto the cushion yelling out, “I’m so tirrrrrred.”  She grunted when she landed. I turned around and laughed when I saw the position she landed in: ass up / face down.  I wanted to rip her jeans off on the spot.

Don’t move, I want a photo!

Continue Reading Review: Hipster by Liberator