Q&A: How do I tell my boyfriend that I don’t want to be throat fucked every night?
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Prior to our relationship, he had been in a committed relationship for basically all of his adult life, whereas I have been in numerous shorter-term relationships. He tells me ex was not adventurous in bed – basically only missionary sex, literally nothing else. I’m much more open minded and experienced with other types of sex and enjoy some kinkier things. However, I’ve never pushed any of this on him because he never seemed comfortable with it (for example, early on in the relationship, I pulled his hair during sex and he told me after not to be so rough) and I’m otherwise very happy with our sex life.
My man caught a nice buzz one night recently and a whole new side of him emerged. He threw me around, held me down, choked me – generally played the dominator role and I was REALLY into it. I came super fast. In this adventure, he discovered that he’s really into forcing me to deep throat him and making me gag on his dick – he had me do it for quite some time that night, and I didn’t mind it given how thrilling and sexy the whole evening was.
After all was said and done, we were both super happy that night. It honestly felt like we were brought closer together in this experience because he was finally comfortable enough with me/himself to explore a new side to sex. It was awesome.
However… since then, all he wants to do is throat fuck me. Every time we’ve had sex since, he’s forced me to do it. I’ve played along so far because I don’t want to discourage him, but I really don’t enjoy having this done to me all of the time. I told him the night that it first happened that it’s something I don’t mind mixing into our sexual routines as long as we still do some of the other things we like as well – but he was still pretty drunk at that point, so maybe he doesn’t recall that caveat. I don’t know.
My question – when do I say something again? I feel like I should just play the supportive girlfriend role for a little while so he can keep building his confidence up, but I literally couldn’t even get wet last night because choking on his dick was something I was just NOT in the mood for, but it happened.
I would hate to see my boyfriend lose this newfound confidence because I handle this poorly.
Venice’s response to throat fuck
Great question, easy answer. Tell him, in a non sexual setting, that you are not interested in getting your tonsils beat up and stabbed each time you guys have sex. Let him know that although you love it, doing it each time takes away the thrill. Much like how he didn’t like missionary sex each time in his previous relationship, you don’t like being throat fucked each time. It becomes less sexy and spontaneous, and more of a routine. You don’t want your sex to become a routine. This shouldn’t be that hard to understand, especially since you are using an analogy that compares to how he felt about missionary sex.
Trust me on this, when your boyfriend was 16, missionary sex, or even thinking about missionary sex, wasn’t boring. Sex isn’t boring. A routine is. Do not make your sexual positions a routine.
Good luck!
Ryan’s response to throat fuck
I really doubt your boyfriend will lose his confidence because you don’t want to be throat fucked every time you have sex. Just let him know that it is sexy to change things up. One day it should be soft and sensual. The next day it should be quick and easy. The next day it could be throat fucking until you vomit all over his lap and finishing him with a hand job that uses your vomit as lube.
What Creative Things Can You Do With Your Man’s Cum?
First of all, please check out our older article: 31 Days of Cum Shots. If you go to the photo gallery every single day has a story. I did various things with his cum, including letting him cum in my morning chai and sending him pictures throughout the day of me finishing him/my cup of chai. That was definitely a fun and a creative way to turn my husband on. I believe there was another day where my husband came inside me and then took a spoon to scrape up the cum that spilled out of my vagina and spoon-fed me. This was also amazing because it wasn’t just his cum, it was both of our bodies together. Very intimate and fun. Speaking of mixing body fluids, you could try a vagina cocktail.
Sometimes I will hold his cum in my mouth and he will stick his dick back into my vagina and start fucking me again. He is multi-orgasmic. The whole time he fucks me, he is looking down at me while I play with his cum in my mouth. Exactly as he orgasms the second time I will open my mouth and let him see me swallow his first load…
For me, my man’s semen is like icing on the cake (or cookie), semi-literally speaking. Every time we have sex, getting to see my husband orgasm is my goal. I work just as hard to make him cum (dirty talk, moving in sync with him, etc.) as he does to please me. With that being said, I feel satisfied knowing that I’ve made his hot juices flow from his dick. And that is such a turn on to me.
What I do to his cum doesn’t start when it comes out – it starts long before. When his dick is in me, I cup his balls and rub under them and tell him, “Let me massage the cum out of your balls.” I tease him. I talk about his balls as if they’re also being fucked. What I do to his cum starts BEFORE the actual orgasm.
Sometimes I stick my finger inside his anus and rub his prostate. If you haven’t tried this, try it! Right before he ejaculates you can literally feel his whole prostate swell up and harden. The cum stays inside this beautiful walnut inside his anus, and you can massage it the entire time he releases. In fact, he will release much more cum when you do this. And more cum means more to play with!
Sometimes he will ask me to keep his cum in my mouth as he heads out to work. He will let me know he is going to call me once he is on the road and tell me when to swallow. So when he calls, I can barely talk because his cum and my saliva have really built up…
But it doesn’t stop there. After he cums, that is something entirely different. If he cums in my vagina or ass, there isn’t much I can do with it except to tell him to unload every drop in me or say, “Empty your balls out inside me.” There have been times where he will pull out as he is fucking me and cum on my anus. He will then use his own semen as lube for anal sex and fuck me again. This actually feels amazing because there is nothing close to using actual semen as lubrication. It nearly takes away all friction and makes for an extremely pleasurable experience.
Sometimes he will just cum inside me and clean my insides with his tongue. We will kiss afterwards and make out with our juices everywhere. If he cums on me, I get to put on a show. I love him watching me when I clean myself up. I will scoop his cum off my body with my fingers and lick them clean as if I’m getting the last bit of angel food cake batter out from between my fingers. As I lick, I will look him in the eyes and say “yum” with every slurp. I like to reassure him that I love his taste and that his sperm is my favorite spice. If he cums directly on my vagina, I’ll rub him into my labia and inner thighs. When I am done, I will lick my fingers clean. One of my favorite things to do to force him in my mouth so he doesn’t shoot all over the place and catch all of his cum in my mouth. I know this is simple, but nothing feels better than getting semen straight from a man’s dick. I don’t want any salt from my body, I want it pure. Straight from the source. That way nothing is wasted. Before I actually swallow, l blow bubbles, gargle, or slurp it between my lips so he can watch me play with him.
Sometimes he will ask me to keep his cum in my mouth as he heads out to work. He will let me know he is going to call me once he is on the road and tell me when to swallow. So when he calls, I can barely talk because his cum and my saliva have really built up. But it’s actually pretty sexy and intimate. To know he is in my mouth and I am waiting for him to call me and tell me to swallow while he is driving to work. You have to be creative. Sometimes I will hold his cum in my mouth and he will stick his dick back into my vagina and start fucking me again. The whole time he fucks me, he is looking down at me while I play with his cum in my mouth. My husband is multi-orgasmic. Exactly as he orgasms the second time I will open my mouth and let him see me swallow his first load. For me, it’s almost like being came in twice at the same time. It’s very intimate and exotic because I can taste his load go down my throat as I feel his penis releasing another load inside my pussy. As he orgasms, instead of his eyes rolling back or him losing focus, he is paying close attention to everything I am doing with his cum in my mouth and his load. His second orgasm is purely based off the excitement of what I am doing to his first. And if you do everything perfect, you may even get a third load in your ass, which we call a “triple threat.” It’s a very fun and powerful feeling. Imagine in a matter of seconds, swallowing a mouthful of cum as you feel a penis twitching inside your vagina. Moments later, you feel your ass being stretched as he nearly dry heaves a third load into your body. And when it’s all over, you hadn’t slept with three men or made a porn, you just satisfied the man of your dreams.
Perfect.
Instead of swallowing, I let him look down in my cum filled mouth and stick his dick back down my throat. In other words, his cum becomes my throat lube as he fucks my mouth for a second time.
Just recently, I discovered a new kind of cum play that really drives my husband wild (The first time we ever did it is actually in the article previously mentioned, you can see the story here: January 8, 2013 Cum Shot). We start out face-fucking, and as you may or may not know, when a man cums and his dick is plunged deep into your throat, the semen goes straight down and you cannot taste or feel anything. But here is the twist: instead of being all the way in me when he cums, he will pull out of my throat and fill my mouth up with his first huge cum shot. Instead of swallowing, I let him look down in my cum filled mouth and stick his dick back down my throat. In other words, his cum becomes my throat lube as he fucks my mouth a second time. I absolutely do not swallow to make sure his whole cum shot covers his dick as he again fucks my throat. After a few seconds, I can feel his hard wet dick drive so deep in my throat his ball piercing and crotch grinds into my teeth. This time, instead of pulling out, he unloads his second cumshot deep in my throat, I can feel his urethra pipe on the underside of his shaft twitching on my tongue and his balls spasming on my lips. I can also watch as anus tighten and loosen with each release. Afterwards, the semen from both the first and second orgasms are pushed down my slippery, well-lubed throat. It can get sloppy from my spit, cum, and tears, but it’s extremely hot, submissive, and downright sexy!
There is so much more you can do with your man’s cum if you really wanted to go above and beyond. Attitude is everything and a paid porn star eating her co-star’s cum off an ice cream sandwich shouldn’t be able to out perform you. Is money more powerful than love? For me, it’s not. I will proudly do anything with Ryan’s cum, including the most insane ideas I can come up with, like sniffing his whole cum shot off a mirror.
Let him cum onto a mirror. If you want to be cute, take a credit card and shape his ropes into a long line. Glide your nose across the mirror and sniff his cum like he is a drug. If you do it right, you can open your mouth when you are done and show him all the cum you just sniffed. And then swallow him as well….
Other Creative Things Can You Do With Your Man’s Cum
Cum popsicle or sperm ice cubes
Simply ejaculate your man into a shot glass and add kool-aid or water to the glass. Put a small toothpick through a small piece of paper that you lay on top of the shot glass (so it stays centered) and put the shot glass in the freezer. After a few hours, you can either use the sperm ice cube in an adult drink and enjoy your man later, or let him use the ice cube on your nipples and vagina as foreplay the next time you want to spice things up. If you want to get extremely creative, mix his cum with water and make an ice dildo.
Cum Lube
Much like the previous idea, save his semen in the freezer so you can use it later. Rather than leaving it ice, warm it up to use as lube. No, his semen will not go bad. There is nothing on earth that is a better lube than his semen. It’s what all lubes try to emulate. Whether it be for a night you plan anal, an intense vaginal session, or just a sexy hand job. Or if you want to get real nasty, pour his warmed semen all over his penis and give him a blow job. Much like my stories above, you can blow his mind tasting his cum the entire time his new orgasm builds. If he is multi orgasmic, you can do this in a single sitting. If he is not, simply have him cum into a shot glass and let him know you want to save it for later. Trust me, he will let you.
Cum Shots
Great idea, especially if you both are already drinking and get a bit horny. You can turn it into a game if you like. If you can make him cum faster than 10 minutes, he has to take the shot. If you can’t, you have to take it. Either way, it’s fun.
Just go down on him and give him a blow job. Make sure you have a shot glass handy. When he is about to cum, stroke him off into the shot glass. Add some rum and take the shot. And that’s a whole other type of cum shot.
Sniffing His Cum Off A Mirror Like A Drug
Let him cum onto a mirror. If you want to be cute, take a credit card and shape his ropes into a long line. Glide your nose across the mirror and sniff his cum like he is a drug. If you do it right, you can open your mouth when you are done and show him all the cum you just sniffed. Yes, you can actually hack it up from the back of your throat back into your mouth. And then swallow him. For me, this clears my sinuses. And surprisingly, no it doesn’t burn.
Cum Cocktail / Sex Cocktail Inside Your Vagina
This one is a bit extreme, but we enjoy it. We called it a sex cocktail because it deals with a lot more than just cum. However, cum is an ingredient. First you give each other oral sex. Make sure you give him extremely sloppy head so his entire shaft has that deep saliva, that only comes up when you gag all over him. This is your lube and a key ingredient to your sex cocktail. He should also eat your pussy and make sure he digs his tongue up into your hole. You also want to be as sloppy as possible. You can also both spit on his during sex to make sure you have enough saliva ingredient inside you. This is optional, but if you squirt or can control your urine, pee a little and let him do the same. I will squirt throughout the session to make sure I add my flavor. My husband has a bit of trouble peeing while erect, so he will stop and concentrate for a few moments and just fill me up with his urine. At this point, it’s a mess. He will then stick his dick back inside me and fuck me until we both cum. At the end of the session, we should have double saliva, double urine, double cum, and my vagina totally full of all this flavor. I will get up and we will 69 each other. I get to taste myself on his dick, he gets to drink the cocktail out of my body.
This isn’t everything you can do with a sex cocktail, but we will save the Bloody Mary version for a different day.
Cum Seasoning
The taste of his cum on your meal will not ruin the flavor. Depending on what you are eating, you won’t even be able to taste it. What it will do is elevate how much your man loves you and thinks about you. Take a serving of his cum, throw it in with an ego, fry it. Scrambled eggs and sperm. Maybe even throw some ketchup on it if you want to get crazy!
Don’t forget to ask him if he would like to try it himself.
Even on his worse day, if you left him for whatever reason, he’d always remember this type of thing and know you were one of the wildest women he has ever been with. Goals right? For some of us ladies who actually do enjoy the flavor, it just makes our food better. Win, win.
Coffee and Cream, A Long Day At Work and Selfies
I’ve used my husband’s cum inside my coffee for cream a lot. The catch here isn’t just that you worship his cum enough to enjoy it all throughout your work day, but you also send selfies of yourself drinking the coffee. Your man loves watching you swallow him right? So how about he watches you drink an entire coffee, for a span of 4 hours, slowly swallowing him and your morning coffee. This is something we did as one of my 31 days of swallowing cum years ago. But it was so fun I still do it every now and then just to tease him.
Sexy right?
Facetime
So all these cool things we have done with our cum in this blog but I haven’t even said one of the most basic ideas. The classic facial. Sexy huh? Well, how about you save his cum one morning and store it however you like. Whether it be plastic bag, a sippy cup, or whatever tickles your fantasy. Later in the day, call your husband while he is at work on Facetime and give him some…well, face time. Let him know you have his morning cum and let him watch you drip it down onto your face and mouth for him to watch. Chances are, no woman has ever done anything like this for him in his life. Well, be that woman.
Ladies, this is about making memories. Do you think he will ever forget the time you called him at work over Facetime and gave yourself a facial with his morning cum 8 hours later? Of course he won’t. Imagine the possibilities of a long distance relationship and saving his cum during a visit, so when back home you can turn him on again, while also enjoying him when you miss him the most.
If you want to be even more creative, there are a lot of new toys where you can play with each other long distance. Most of these toys use your phone to function. So while he uses his phone to make your vibrator vibrate to his touch, wouldn’t it be nice to have some of his cum saved to use as lube/drip on your lips/swallow while he watches you cum for him over Facetime?
My husband and I finally tried anal and it was amazing!
I am 29 and my husband is 30. As someone who was searching for anal advice recently and found your blog, I thought I’d share my experience.
I wasn’t technically an anal virgin when I met my husband. It happened with two previous boyfriends, but both were very painful, unplanned, “oops it slipped into the wrong hole” when drunk situations. Both were awful. My husband and I tried anal early in our relationship, but I was so nervous that we never made it past toys.
The idea of getting railed in the ass has always really turned me on, so I was determined to try again. We picked out an anal plug beginners kit and some good lube. I decided to go the extra mile, so I did a fleet enema (got it on Amazon) before we started. I also had a tiny edible, so I would feel more relaxed.
We started with some basic foreplay and PIV sex. Then we moved on to the plug kit. We got to the biggest plug and decided to give it a go. He was so gentle, slowed down and stopped when I asked without hesitation. Once I was fully adjusted to him he steadily increased speed until he was going for it and it was so. Fucking. Amazing. Legitimately one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had. Will 100% do it again.
My point is, don’t let previous bad experiences scare you away from trying something you’re interested in. With the right partner and open communication, it could become something you end up loving.
Venice’s response to finally tried anal
I am so glad you had an amazing experience! And you know what else?! Anal sex and semen in a woman’s ass causes a higher sex drive. So don’t be surprised if you try this more often and you start having random spurts of being extremely horny. Trust me, it happened to me.
I have a similar story with orgasms. The first time I orgasmed while analing (with the help from a toy), my orgasm was so much more intense. I believe this is because of the pressure and stretch your anus feels, which helps make the orgasm much better. When I orgasm though vaginal penetration, I liked to be fucked hard while I cum. When I orgasm while analing, I do not have to be fucked hard because the stretch and pressure is already intense enough to maximize the pleasure I feel during an orgasm.
Ryan’s response to finally tried anal
We are both really happy for you! I am glad our blog could help you keep an open mind and try something that you previously had bad experiences with. Maybe your story will help others also see the advantages of anal sex.
So my friend and his girl have been continuously asking me to join them in a threesome after a night out at the bar. At first I didn’t think it would be a good idea but they kept asking and I finally said yes. We just set out the rules that I wouldn’t cum anywhere on or in my friend’s girl which I was completely fine with but everything else they said I can feel comfortable doing.
Fast forward to the time we started. We were all a little drunk and it was just a great vibe. As time went on, we changed positions multiple times and it was all going good. But something happened and my friend just wasn’t into it. I think they could sense that I was unsure so they both kept telling me to keep fucking her. I was honestly planning on stopping but she was practically begging me to keep going. My friend left the room for a little bit, unsure why. A couple minutes later my friend comes back in the room and it seemed like he couldn’t get hard again. I was noticing all of this while fucking her in doggy which was amazing.
This is where the problem starts. I’m more of the dominant person in sex and I know his girl was digging that. I was kind of controlling her and telling her what to do next. The alpha. Also I don’t mean to say this in any cocky or weird way but I’m just the bigger guy there being 6’3 and about 7 inches, while my friend is around 5’9 and relatively about 4 inches. I’m only giving this information because it seems like this was the downfall of the situation. During this threesome I felt his girl was feeling me more and was only paying attention to me, but I didn’t notice this at the time. So as I noticed him not getting hard while fucking her in doggy, something clicked to my brain and I just started fucking her pretty rough (which she was encouraging me to do). In the side of my head I knew it was wrong but I couldn’t stop. Me and my friend’s girl then switched to missionary and after that I ended up finishing in her.
After that I just felt terrible. I didn’t even want to do that but realized after what I did and I feel sick. I apologized to both of them after and it seemed like the girl was the only one ok with it. I feel what went wrong is that my friend got discouraged when he saw me be there dominant one with his girl which left him not feeling it. I realized this a little while having sex but I didn’t fully see it. This encounter essentially turned into him watching me fuck his girl pretty rough (which is what she asked for).
What do I do now I feel like I will never have him as a friend anymore?
Venice’s response to feel terrible after a threesome
In all honestly, you sound like a horrible friend. The only hard boundary they had and you broke it. You saw all the negative signs from him, yet ignored them. You could have had sex with her, been rough, told her where to move, what position, and done anything you liked, but just simply not cum in her or on her.
You should feel terrible, you are a terrible friend.
Ryan’s response to feel terrible after a threesome
I wouldn’t consider you a friend at all. Your version of this story seems like how it would read from a narcissist’s perspective, who happens to be a horrible lover. A man so anxious to get pussy, he couldn’t even follow a simple rule and control himself. Like an incel. The worst type of lover. Mentioning your friend’s dick size and his height, as if because of that you think he felt inadequate. He knew about your height prior correct? Did you walk around on your knees and pretend to be 5’7 until you got naked with them? Maybe it wasn’t your size, since one can assume a guy with “4 inches” already knows he is on the lower scale of sizes. Maybe he just wasn’t as excited as he thought he would be seeing a man fuck his girl.
I am sure you caused a lot of issues in their relationship, but you aren’t totally to blame. Obviously he wasn’t prepared to have a threesome and didn’t take into consideration that asking a man to join them in bed, doesn’t mean the man will be the passive sex doll that does everything how they want. Instead they got a horny guy that couldn’t control himself or hold his load properly. Dumb decisions all the way around. Good luck with your “friendship”.
One Girls Journey: Teaching Her Boyfriend To Make Her Cum / Orgasm
It’s almost like a rite of passage for a young man to make his woman orgasm. We decided to share this great anonymous story of a girl and her journey teaching her boyfriend how to make her cum. We figured we would share for those on the same journey. I will add my own input between various points to help add missing details for those of you that may be looking for this type of information.
At the end of the write up, I will add a few more tips and tricks that may help your woman orgasm. Unfortunately, this write up could be split up into parts, because some women prefer to orgasm with a dick, with a tongue, with a toy, or with a finger. This story seems to be more of how to make her cum with his fingers. So we are a bit all over the place with this one.
Take the pressure off of her and make her cum!
When my boyfriend first started trying to make me cum 7 months ago, he was so sure that it would happen that I felt a lot of pressure and it gave me a lot of anxiety every time we tried. He kept saying things like, “It’s going to happen this time” and “I won’t stop until you cum this time” – and while the determination and optimism is MUCH appreciated, it ultimately created even more pressure for me. At about the ten minute mark each time, I would get really self-conscious that I hadn’t cum and that he was bored. By the 20 minute mark when he insisted he wanted to keep trying. I promise you I was not thinking about sex AT ALL. I was stuck in my own head screaming “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU”, “HE’S TRYING SO HARD”, “JUST CUM ALREADY” and any of the pleasures I was feeling was buried. Seriously guys, I almost faked it once (a big deal for him) just because I felt SO bad and he was working so hard for it that I wanted to give it to him just because he deserved it. After I told him about how much pressure I felt to cum, we started trying just for 10-15 minutes and then moving onto sex if it still wasn’t building for me. This helped me just focus on the pleasure I felt and not worry about needing to cum from it! Once we established that norm, I started getting a lot more into it and I came pretty soon after that.
Nessa: This also helps with orgasms through penetrative sex. Imagine it not just being a finger playing with you, or a tongue, but instead the man sweating on top of you, watching the clock, trying to move exactly the way you need it. Half way to a heart attack but still going. This pressure, especially because the the energy output can be so high, puts a lot of pressure on women. This is probably why a lot of women fake orgasms, because we feel bad watching a man try so hard yet aren’t able to give him what he wants. If you take the pressure off us reaching an orgasm, it’s just easier for us to relax and cum through sex.
Don’t take it personally, and put in the work to make her cum
My boyfriend got really insecure that he couldn’t make me cum after months and months of trying, and I felt like he stopped trying for a while simply because he was embarrassed. DONT DO THAT! It’s not a you problem. Like I talked about above, I was equally as embarrassed as he was and the more I felt like he didn’t want to try, the more ashamed I was. YOU’RE DOING GREAT! It takes a lot of work to get there, but (for me at least) as soon as my boyfriend made me cum once it got a whole lot easier. He’s made me cum by himself almost every time since then!
Dirty talk to make her cum
My boyfriend will dirty talk in my ear almost the entire time, which helps give me a narrative to focus on and makes me feel like he’s into it and not just sitting there bored listening to me pant. lol. He starts off with fantasies of mine first, and by the time I get really close he’ll start whispering all the things he’s going to do to me after I cum for him. Yeah, that helps lol.
Nessa: Dirty talk definitely helps, depending on what he is doing. If he is down on me giving me oral sex, stopping to talk to me may just throw me off entirely. However, moaning or acting like my pussy is the best thing you have ever tasted, definitely keeps me on edge. If he is near my face and I am sucking his dick while I have a toy / vibrator on my crotch, hearing him talk dirty can definitely help me orgasm much faster. During sex, dirty talk can also help. However, make sure your breath is fresh! Imagine trying to cum with coffee breath blowing in your face talking dirty to you. The little things like this make a huge difference.
Let her guide you (and watch her make herself cum so you get an idea of her technique).
For me personally, my clit is too sensitive to directly touch. I had to guide my boyfriend to a very specific spot right above my clit, and then occasionally adjust his finger once it started slipping from that spot. I also had to tell him to speed up/slow down and use less/more pressure. Don’t be embarrassed by her critiques! I swear it is just as difficult when I do it myself, I just can immediately sense when I’m losing the “spot” and adjust myself accordingly. With my boyfriend, I had to tell him all of these adjustments – and some days there were many of them because that spot is so elusive.
Nessa: Great point. Every girl is unique. Do not try all your master techniques on us that worked on your last girl. Not only is that a huge turn off, but we aren’t machines that all operate the same way. My first cum with my guy was through his tongue, not his fingers, but we are all different. Communicate with your girl, ask her what makes her cum, and if you are secure in yourself, ask her to guide you through an orgasm with her. Even if you let her masturbate while you put your dick in her mouth and tease her nipples. Tell her she can guide your tongue and/or hand if she likes. The first time I came with my husband, he would come up from under the covers and ask, “Am I doing it right?” We were young, but I knew from playing with myself, how to tell him to move his tongue, “Go in little circles around my clit but not directly on it.”
Multitask.
My boyfriend will sometimes kiss me sloppily, choke me, dig his fingers into my back, or kiss all over my neck or my thighs while he’s working his fingers over my clit. That is ~heavenly~. He also started slipping his fingers inside of me as he played with my clit – sometimes pushing them deep into my G-spot, and sometimes gently teasing the outer entrance until I’m basically begging for him to shove his fingers inside of me. Sometimes he’ll even tease my asshole and slip a finger in there, which really gets me going. Obviously, this is up to personal preference – for a while it was really hard for me to focus on two different sensations at once (penetration and clit stimulation), so that didn’t work for me. Now it turns me on like nothing else!!
Nessa: Multitasking is great! During oral sex, I personally prefer a tongue near my clit area, a finger inside my vagina, and his other fingers “accidentally” rubbing against my anus. This has always been a big deal for my body. I assume the anus stimulation resembles his balls rubbing against my ass during intercourse. But my ass has always been a big erogenous zone for me.
Try having her stimulate you at the same time!
This doesn’t always work for me because it’s hard for me to focus on two things at once when I’m close to cumming, but it’s a MAJOR turn on for me when I can make my boyfriend moan as he’s trying to get me off. I LOVEEE 69-ing because I get to take his cock down my throat as his tongue is doing crazy things to my pussy. If he’s just using his fingers, then I love using lube/spit to give him a handjob as he works his fingers. By the time I’m about to cum, the handjob is definitely sloppy at best – but there’s just something about having his dick in my hand and making him shudder every so often when I brush the head.
Nessa: This is actually a great suggestion. Probably the best suggestion in this entire write up. Stimulating him during play can keep him going for much longer. Just rubbing his balls, or stroking his shaft, can release his endorphins and satisfy him, while he satisfies you. And like her first point, knowing he is also being pleased, takes off all the pressure and time constraints. We have learned that if he kind of sits off to the side, on all fours, so I can reach up and just rub his balls, while he is down on me really works. It’s not quite 69, but close. You can also just flat out 69, but that can tend to change the game, depending on how hard and horny he gets. It goes from eating each other out, to getting my throat fucked. Either way, finding ways to relax each other, can keep him going for much longer. And by much longer, it can keep him down on you for hours if you find the right spot.
Try letting her do the work the first couple times.
The very first time I came from my boyfriend, I started grinding down on his finger in time with his motions. Pretty soon he was only minimally moving his finger and I was doing some serious hip action to recreate the way I masturbate by myself. So, for example, I would grind my hips in a circular motion with barely any pressure, and then when I got closer I would start jerking my hips up and down while grinding hard into his finger. This is pretty much my technique by myself, but usually my hips are still and my finger is doing the work. This time I flipped it and used his finger! I will say I was really self conscious about this technique at first because I thought it must look like I was having a seizure with all my hip-jerking lol. But pretty soon I stopped caring about what I looked like, and I came like 5 minutes after that lol. I’ve had to use this technique less and less because my boyfriend is learning my exact style, and the work is slowly transferring from my hips back to his fingers. Last time he made me cum in under 10 minutes with pretty much no effort from myself! WILD
Nessa: This is much like her other suggestion, let her guide you. I think she probably put this twice because this was the biggest surprise for her. Her being the one showing him how to do it, was important. That man ego, that big cocky attitude, that drive to make her cum without taking into consideration that he had no idea how her body ticks? Let her help you.
I hope this helps at least one person!! I seriously was so depressed over this issue, but as soon as it happened once he started being able to make me cum almost every single time by himself. The first time I came, we both sat up and basically screamed with joy lol. We didn’t even have sex after because we were too busy celebrating. Hope you have similar luck with some of these tips, because cumming in the arms of your partner is an AMAZING feeling that I hope all of your girlfriends/fuck buddies/hookups/one-night-stands experience 🙂
Great little write up. We will add a few more pointers in this article to really fluff it up a bit and make sure we touch on more points that were missed.
Learn her body.
It’s not instinct for you to just touch us and we cum. We have erogenous zones, hot spots, things that make us go crazy, and things that just outright irritate us. For instance, I can’t stand just having your fingers slammed into me like you are fucking me with your hand. What’s really crazy is a lot of girls I have been actually do this. It doesn’t feel good to me. Not to mention, cut your nails! Never finger a girl with big long gross nails. Men or women.
Learn her.
Some girls like it rough, some girls like it soft. Some girls like direct contact with the clitoris, some like you to circle around it. Some like you to only directly rub the clitoris as we are about to cum, but as we orgasm, ease up and circle again. Much like your penis head when you cum, we get sensitive. Don’t keep rubbing our clits as hard as you can while we are in the middle of the orgasm, as it may ruin it for us. But again, learn her. Figure out what she likes and doesn’t like. From oral, to fingers, to actual sex. If you want to make your girl orgasm, learn her. Put the ego off to the side shelf next to the lube, and go in with an open mind.