Dirty Talk: A Threesome with A Transsexual Woman

A Threesome with A Transsexual

The Dirty Talk Intro & Disclaimer:  Everything in the story below is random and created on the spot while massaging and giving a handjob to my husband.  No filters, no rules, no boundaries; just a story and situation created to help my husband orgasm and enjoy our experience together.  We do this for intimacy and find handjobs less destructive on our bodies than having sex daily (our bodies just can’t handle penetrative sex each day).   All dirty talk is usually pure fantasy.  I use this dirty talk as a form of mental porn for my husband while he is in a vulnerable state due to being touched and massaged.  Sexual intimacy can also help reduce feelings of anxiety and depression as it triggers the release of three mood-boosting chemicals — dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin.  I usually also get really wet because my own naughty thoughts push my own personal boundaries and really turn me on.  This is why it’s so fun.  Unlike giving a blowjob or going through the theatrics of sex, you both connect thoughts together and create sexual stories in the heat of the moment.  He trusts me and we both love this natural vulnerability.  I can almost get inside his head and control his fantasies, dirty thoughts, and talk him into an orgasm in the exact moment my story hits it’s climax.  During my stories he will ask me questions while I talk.  I will include these to the best of my memory.  In fact, every story is to the best of my memory, as I do not know remember all the exact details.   

Dirty Talk: A Threesome with A Transsexual

So we go out to dinner with the sexy girl we found on a dating app.  Although she is cute, we share her photo with each other in text and there is something distinct about her face and features that seem a bit different. 

Like what?

Her face is a bit longer.  Something about her nose and cheeks seem different, but her body is amazing.

Okay…

We meet with her in person and you whisper to me that she is sexy as fuck.  I agree.  Conversation is good, we both seem to really enjoy her company.  She is making us laugh and seems to be super sweet.  We both like her a lot.

As dinner wraps up we ask her if she wants to come to our place for a few drinks.  She is hesitant. She leans over and quietly lets us know that she is transsexual.  

ummm…


I feel my husband’s dick start to soften in my hand.  Usually when his mind is on something else, or if the story has too much detail, his body responds by getting soft because he wants to discuss things rather than orgasm.


Relax. Enjoy yourself.

You sit back a bit uncomfortable but I can tell you are looking at her really intense, trying to see if you can tell.  I don’t think you can.  She is almost a perfect woman.  Her smile, her face, her body, and her personality.  

Lets take her home

We are.  We decide we would take her to our place just to see where things lead.  If anything, you getting a double blow job from both of us will make your night.  If anything else happens, we will see.  

We get her to our place and she slides off her coat.  She has amazing cleavage.  Her lips are thick, so you can’t stop thinking about her sucking your dick.

I can tell you want her, but you’re confused.  So am I.  I want her too.

You do?

Yes, I want to see her dick.  

Me too.

She is sitting in between us.  I lean in to kiss her and quickly put my hand between her legs.  Not something I would normally do, but I don’t believe she has a penis.  I think she is fucking with us.

What do you feel?

She definitely has a penis.

She is erect.  Her dick feels hard, but is still very small.  A cute small.

Yea, I’d rather her be cute and small.

For sure, I only need one man tonight.   I pull her dress up and pull her panties down exposing her penis to you.  She is totally shaved and her dick is a beautiful 3 or 4 inches.  Thick, but tiny, exactly how I’d imagine a woman’s penis would be.  No flaws, no razor bumps, just exactly how a classy woman would maintain her body if she had a penis.

I want to touch it.

You reach over and cup her penis in your hand.  Her head barely pokes out the top of your grip.  Any slight movement will be stroking her dick.  It must feel amazing to have a dick that is the perfect size for a hand.


My husband’s dick is now rock hard.  His mind is open.  His balls are starting to tighten and I can tell he is really getting into the idea.


Continue Reading Dirty Talk: A Threesome with A Transsexual Woman

A Warning About Threesomes – The Superpowers of an Introvert

A Warning About Threesomes – The Superpowers of an Introvert

Although we have had various issues with having threesomes, the issues didn’t outweigh the positive results:   the experiences brought us closer together.  We just didn’t feel the things that people warn you about when it came to threesomes.  In our relationship prior to opening our bedroom, complacency had taken over.  We had become roommates, able to function and say we love each other without showing it, having sex just to get relief with little to no intimacy.   At the crossroads of our relationship, we either needed to find a way to be excited with each other, or rethink our marriage.  We both decided that our marriage was something we didn’t want to give up on.  The alternative to separating and giving up, was opening our minds and trying things we had never done.  As we reconnected, we shifted back into a honeymoon phase.  A rebirth of wanting intimacy, closeness, and a new willingness to try new things.  Much like when we first met, all the things we wanted to try sexually were discussed and something we were excited to try.  In a new marriage, this gradually dies off and you just become complacent, rather than excited to be around each other.   It’s also easy to close the door on new ideas, open marriages, or exploring your sexuality.  Especially when you marry young.  A catalyst like realizing your marriage is almost over, can push people to try new things, because at that point they have nothing to lose.  Also, if you are going to go out single and explore your sexuality, why not do it with someone you at least have history with.  Especially when you have nothing to lose.  Warning.

During our second honeymoon phase, both sides were willing to try new things that we hadn’t tried in the first 12 years of our marriage.  In the process, we learned that we never wanted to go back to being complacent.  Complacency was our biggest mistake, in our experience. 

A Threesome Warning

However, our experience isn’t everyone’s experience.  Below is a great article about a guy that started having threesomes while in a relationship.  During the process, his girlfriend, who was an introvert that liked to write out her thoughts on paper, gave him a list of all the reasons they should stop having threesomes.  Rather than listening to her reasons, the excitement of threesomes, the intoxication of the freedom to have threesomes, and everything else a man’s mind goes through, had him arguing with her list, rather than listening.  This could be extremely helpful to other couples out there that may be going through the same thing.

Continue Reading A Warning About Threesomes – The Superpowers of an Introvert

Dirty Talk: Gang Banged by a Bunch of Old Men

Gang Banged by a Bunch of Old Men

The Dirty Talk Intro & Disclaimer:  Everything in the story below is random and created on the spot while massaging and giving a handjob to my husband.  No filters, no rules, no boundaries; just a story and situation created to help my husband orgasm and enjoy our experience together.  We do this for intimacy and find handjobs less destructive on our bodies than having sex daily (our bodies just can’t handle penetrative sex each day).   All dirty talk is usually pure fantasy.  I use this dirty talk as a form of mental porn for my husband while he is in a vulnerable state due to being touched and massaged.  Sexual intimacy can also help reduce feelings of anxiety and depression as it triggers the release of three mood-boosting chemicals — dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin.  I usually also get really wet because my own naughty thoughts push my own personal boundaries and really turn me on.  This is why it’s so fun.  Unlike giving a blowjob or going through the theatrics of sex, you both connect thoughts together and create sexual stories in the heat of the moment.  He trusts me and we both love this natural vulnerability.  I can almost get inside his head and control his fantasies, dirty thoughts, and talk him into an orgasm in the exact moment my story hits it’s climax.  During my stories he will ask me questions while I talk.  I will include these to the best of my memory.  In fact, every story is to the best of my memory, as I do not know remember all the exact details.   

Dirty Talk:  Gang Banged by a Bunch of Old Men

I am in a room with a bunch of old guys and I can tell they want to fuck me.  

describe them…

They are all over 70, grey hair, nude.  One is skinny with a smaller slim penis, tight balls, and a salt and pepper grey bush.  I can almost see his skeleton frame as he is very slim.  (Guy 1)

Another one is build like a square, not chubby, but you can tell he used to be muscular.  He has a bit of a belly and his shoulders are wide.  His penis is small in length but thick.  He also has tight balls like he is already ready to cum.  (Guy 2)

does he have crotch hair?

He has a huge bush that is also salt in pepper.   All the men have crotch hair.  I find them all sexy and prefer to see them hairy.

what about the other guys?

The 3rd guy is tall and slim.  His balls are extremely big and hang very low.  His penis isn’t small, but his balls hang much lower. (Guy 3)

do you find older guys sexy?

I love older men.  They are probably my biggest kink. 

do you want to be fucked by a bunch of older men?

Yes.

The 4th guy is short with a normal size frame.  Like he kept himself in shape.  He has the biggest penis of the group.  It is thick and about 6 inches long.  His balls are also loose and hanging.  I can tell when he fucks me I will feel his balls slapping against me. (Guy 4)

does that turn you on?

Yes, I love it when I can feel your balls slapping against me.  Or laying on my face while I am being face fucked.

keep going…

The last guy looks like Ron Jeremy when he is old.  He is hairy all over.  His balls are small and tight and his penis looks proportional to his body. (Guy 5)

what do they do to you?

Guy 1 comes over to my face and sticks his dick in my mouth.  I grab his small balls and start to stroke under them as I suck his dick.  He immediately gets hard.  I notice that all the guys are touching themselves and started to get hard all around me.

did you want the small skinny guy in your mouth first?

Yes.

Continue Reading Dirty Talk: Gang Banged by a Bunch of Old Men

Have A Sexy Christmas – Goodbye 2019!

Have A Sexy Christmas – Goodbye 2019!

Let’s set the mood right for our sexy Christmas blog this year.  If you love National Lampoon’s Christmas vacation and lo fi music, let the needle drop…

 

2019 and The Bloggs are still naughty as ever!

Happy Holidays!

This introduction just keeps getting longer!  We have now republished this article every year since 2012. Unfortunately it’s not easy to come up with new ideas for a sexy Christmas photo shoot when you did 25 days straight in the original.  Our little wet noses and perky ears are dried up and saggy now!  Our ideas are stale.  So instead of doing more photos… 

…wait a second, as I am writing this I just came up with an idea to maybe reshoot every single photo as close as possible to the original!  7 years later.   Oh gosh, our bodies have gotten much older!  But maybe that could be a fun project!

*Edit.  After starting off the month strong, we realized that taking a photo each day just wasn’t something we had time to do!  So instead, we took a few of our favorites and turned them into a 2019 remix.   

Also make sure you check out “Naughty Selfies – Santas Little Helper

Sexy Christmas Past

Back in 2012 when we started our blog, Venice and I wanted to find a sexy way to celebrate Christmas and December.  We came up with the idea to do a photo shoot every day up until Christmas.  I believe it all started on December 1, 2012, when I asked Venice if she wanted to do a photo shoot with me cumming all over her milk and cookies.  Of course she jumped at the opportunity because she loves taking photos, and definitely doesn’t have a problem eating cookies and cream during the holidays (this photo shoot also inspired our January 2013, month long photo shoot of facials / and Venice swallowing  each day of the month).

From there it spiraled into us setting up a second Christmas tree specifically for photo shoots.  We’d message each other throughout the day and plan our next shot.  It was fun, but it was also a lot of work.

Even though the photos are from 2012, they are still timeless and we enjoy sharing them.  Welcome to the month of December!   Happy holidays everyone!

Sexy Christmas Present

2012

2019

2012

2019

2012
 

2019

A few extra photos we took this season for fun.  

2019
sexy christmas

2019

And with that said, hopefully you guys have a Merry Christmas!  Need ideas for outfits for an adult Christmas party or spicing up your own social media account?   No, not a sponsor.  Just a few great outfits for Christmas that you guy may want to check out and try on for yourself!  

Loneliness, Porn, and Losing Your Soul Mate

porn lonelinessLoneliness, Porn, and Losing Your Soul Mate

Below I have added an interesting story from an anonymous author on Reddit we decided to share with our readers.  These type of random stories get a lot of attention so we decide to archive it in case it gets deleted.  It deals with being lonely and needing porn.  However, unlike young kids not finding dates because they are addicted to porn sites, it is quite the opposite.  It’s about older gentlemen that uses porn as a way to get through life after his wife has passed.  Loneliness isn’t easy.

I get it.

This actually reminds me of Robert Kraft, the owner of the New England Patriots being arrested for paying for an illegal hand job at a massage parlor.  However, what is usually left out of this story is that his wife has passed and he was 75 years old at the time of the incident.   It doesn’t make it legal or moral, but maybe it explains why a billionaire would risk his reputation to get an illegal hand job at a massage parlor.

Below is the full story: 

Writing this on a throwaway account because I could get fired for what I did.

I work at a store that deals with technology. I won’t be specific, but it’s a pretty big store, and a family store with things for kids to play with and little classes for them. We do sales and repairs, so we’re pretty full-service and often busy and crowded.

The other day, I was approached by a coworker with a question about the parental controls on a device. I’m one of the people who is very familiar with software and interfaces, and parental controls are one of my knowledge points that a lot of the younger workers aren’t familiar with (even though I’m not a parent myself), so this wasn’t unusual. The questions centered around removing them. My coworker asked if I could take over, and I said okay. This was all very normal, right up until he said “It’s this old guy. He wants to watch porn.” That got the requisite “WTF” look from me, and my coworker stifled a laugh. “Thanks for dealing with it,” he said. I kind of shrugged. I mean, I like porn, I’m not shy about browsing it, and that people have “needs”. I had no problem handling it, though I bet other coworkers might say I should just send him to a manager to get “politely declined service for that subject.”

He takes me over, and introduces me to this very old man. He looked like he might have had Parkinson’s, with the tremor in his hand. His iPad was also very old, as was the software on it. I could tell at a glance that his system had a version from before 2013 (because I’m a nerd who can tell these things at a glance). His iPad would not even be compatible with newer systems.

The old man didn’t say anything about porn, but he said that his grandkids had been over, and he thought they did something to his iPad, because it wasn’t working like normal. He said he thought that they’d set some parental controls “to block stuff so kids can’t see it”.

I smiled, and sighed, and began to tell him the usual speech about how parental controls work, and how we’d need the passcode if one was set up, and if he didn’t have it, it would require deleting the device and beginning without a backup to get things working again. His iPad didn’t appear to have much on it. But when I got to the settings, I was surprised to find there were no parental controls turned on.

I stopped, and I let him know that it appeared there were no controls or limits set. I turned them on and off just in case. I had to ask him. “So what wasn’t working?” I was starting to worry it might be a software incompatibility due to new web standards, and that his old iPad might not be able to be updated to match them. Internally, I did not want to have that conversation. People his age were often on fixed incomes, and could not afford to get a new device.

He began trembling again. “I’m 93,” he said. “My wife died. I have nothing left. And the…the videos I’d watch, they aren’t working anymore.” He took the iPad and started to go to a webpage. “I go to xnxx, and the images are there, but when I…”

I stopped him. “Sir, uh, our WiFi blocks that,” I said. I remembered using that site myself. It was one of the regular sites I’d used to go to for many years.

He nodded and closed his eyes. “Please, I don’t have anyone. I just…need something.”

I was struck. It stopped being funny. He was so fucking lonely, and the videos he watched online were important to him. I could see in his eyes, it was something he needed, to just keep existing. And I could see just how ashamed he was to come in, with such a subject and a need, but his loneliness was too much for his shame. He was practically in tears.

I acted like what I did next was a big decision, because I thought I had to put up the act, even though it was a quick decision for me. I pulled out my phone, and I turned on the hotspot, and I put his iPad onto my phone’s WiFi. This would bypass the content restrictions our WiFi had. He thankfully had a cover on the iPad. I held it at a low angle, and positioned it so we could see but hopefully there’d be as little a chance for anyone else to see. I typed in xnxx.

The porn site came up, and I kept furtively looking over my shoulder. He said “This is how it comes up, but when you tap, it doesn’t play anything…”. So I tapped. While the page changed, I remembered to turn down the volume, and I did.

The video came up and started playing. A-okay, no problem.

He began to say it wouldn’t do that at home, but still started thanking me. Still, I wasn’t satisfied. If there’s a bug, and it works sometimes but not others, it’s not fixed, it’s just a clue to find it. I tried other videos and they all worked.

I closed the webpage and the iPad. He looked so thankful. I told him I didn’t do anything, so I wasn’t sure it was “fixed.” I considered that maybe his kids, the grandkids parents had put parental blocks up on his own ISP, but they’d block the entire site, not the vids. I told him to try it again at home. I didn’t know why it hadn’t worked, but at least we’d proven that his iPad could play them.

He left, and even as I told him that I wasn’t sure we could help further he kept thanking me. I just stood there for a moment, and then I started tearing up and had to leave the sales floor.

It struck me how lonely he was, how the porn was one of his only ways of just having moments of satisfaction. I felt that hard. I’m serially single. I’m very lonely, and porn is my escape, and I’m just 42. I realized the state he was in, that’s something that is likely coming. For all of us.

I know that a lot of my coworkers would laugh at the guy, the pervert coming in, needing his porn. But I felt sad. Sad for him. Sad for all of us. I know that loneliness. It’s waiting for us all.

I don’t know if there’s a moral here. I just thought I should share. And please, I know porn is something we laugh about and make fun of, and it’s deserving of that. But sometimes…let’s take away the shame of it. You’re lucky if you don’t need it to get those little moments. Don’t take it for granted. And allow whatever moments others have, however they get them, without shame or looking down.

There is a moral here.  It isn’t just about being sad.  It’s about having a soul mate… and maybe having to deal with losing your soul mate.  And what happens if your soul mate passes in this life and you are left alone?  What happens if you do not want to “move on” and find a new relationship, a new person to love, or someone else to fill the void. Male or female, you may still have urges to release or have a physical need that needs to be met, but do not want an emotional connection. What can you do?   Well, you can move to Nevada (or any country) where prostitution is legal, or watch porn.   Whether you call it therapy or a release, porn isn’t always such a terrible thing.