2015 Top 10 Sex Blogs for Couples

Top10So we took a year off from our top list, but we’re back. Our list this year is going to have a different format as there is no need to number them. Unfortunately, a lot of sex blogs have went from informative articles and great opinion pieces, to reviews of sex toys and more reviews of sex toys. You can pretty much go to Amazon.com and read the reviews on vibrators and dildos and get the same type of content a lot of bloggers are releasing weekly. It’s unfortunate, because creativity seems to have taken a back seat to getting free merch and powder puffing reviews of vibrators as if there are huge differences. Don’t get offended sex bloggers, we are guilty of the same thing!  Which is why we have slowed down our review section back to once every other month or so, if that.

Don’t get me wrong, I am sure there are 1000s of readers that enjoy reading the slight difference in how a sleek and sexy purple dildo with bejeweled rhinestones shakes a blogger’s clit so much more different than the aggressive and adventurous neon orange glow in the dark dildo with  a secret compartment for your butt plug she reviewed the week before. Interesting stuff for sure!

But enough about that! Let’s talk about our top 10 sex blogs for couples in 2015. We have decided to stick with what we know, and share with our readers the sites that are geared more towards our own tastes, couple friendly, sex driven, with sexy photos and other informative articles that can help couples spice up their own sex lives.


A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind

Ryan: Unfortunately the creator of A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind, Bobby Morgan, passed away in 2015.  As much as I want to talk about all the great naughty articles she shared, that we have always thoroughly enjoyed, I can’t really say much other than go check out her blog and enjoy. Her work is the epitome of what a sex blog should be, in our humble opinion. And we aren’t sharing our love for her work posthumous, we have included A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind in all of our yearly Top Sex Blogging Lists since we’ve been blogging.

Her Own Bio:

I started this blog in September 2012. It was built on the inspiration of the love affair of a lifetime between me and my lover, Parrot. So often we’d say (and still say) that if most people knew of how amazing our sex and relationship are that they’d never believe it. If only we could teach, bottle, sell or share our secrets of our great sex, romance and relationship, more people would be happier and more fulfilled.

Like the way Parrot and I talk with each other, A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind is open, frank, and nakedly explicit in the way it talks about sex and relationships. It’s not explicit in a pornographic way, but my stories get to the point without hiding behind a cloud of euphemisms. As I often say, if you can’t talk (or read) about sex, you have no business having sex.

In short, A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind is all about real sex — and really great sex at that — for real people.

Venice: You will be dearly missed Bobbie. Hopefully your blog will stay online, so others can get a chance to read your beautiful (dirty) mind, and enjoy what we got to enjoy while you were still here.


Christian Nymphos

Venice: This can be somewhat of a contradiction in terms. My first thought was Josh Duggar and his reputed devotion to his wife, Anna. It seemed that he received more media attention in the wake of Ashley Madison scandal and infidelities than he did as the eldest Duggar child before his nuptials. And of course, many of us were forced to assume that it was because of his strict and devout Christian upbringing that ultimately led to his downfall. Maybe, maybe not. Christian Nymphos is a great starting point (and would have been a great starting point for Josh Duggar) for couples who want to explore within the confines of monogamy and who want to “spice up the bedroom” without feelings of guilt. It caters to couples (comments from “singles” are automatically deleted, per the site’s guidelines) and fosters a feeling of community. It may not benefit everybody, but knowing there is a site like this does comfort me, and I can certainly appreciate its efforts in providing a Christian perspective in an area where one would not traditionally link it – sex.

Their Own Bio:

We recognize that nymphomania is a legitimate illness for some women and we don’t mean to minimize that in any way. We started referring to ourselves as nymphos long before we started our blog. We saw ourselves as incredibly passionate wives and found wonderful freedom in embracing our sexuality. The definition of a nympho is “a woman with abnormal sexual desires.” Sometimes we do feel abnormal, and while sometimes it is with people who are not Christians it can also be when we are in groups of Christian women. Moms groups. Ladies Bible studies. A night out with our Christian girlfriends. It is not uncommon to hear women speaking negatively about sex. It is also not at all uncommon for us to hear people telling us that our sexual standards are rigid and uptight because we are so firm in our conviction that sex as God intended it is most intensely fulfilled within the marriage covenant.

While our name includes the term “nympho,” we also first and foremost refer to ourselves as Christians. The core of our identity is that we belong to God and have a connection to Him because of our faith in the saving power of the work of Jesus Christ on the cross. This allows us to submit all of our sexual desires to his authority so that our expressions of passion with our husbands are healthy and appropriate.

The word Nympho has a negative connotation for some. It doesn’t have to stay this way. Why can’t we take something “of the world” and make it into something good?

Ryan: Although the religious aspect may turn off some readers, it is still much different that the rest of the sex blogosphere. I do not wake up and say to myself, “I am an awful person. I am a pervert and a sinner.” I see myself as a good person, I feel like I do have a personal relationship with God, and the things I do outside of the “normal”, I only do with my wife right next to me.  As extreme as some of the things we do, we only do them together, including adding another woman to our bedroom.


Sex and Psychology

Venice: Dr. Lehmiller is a researcher and scholar who runs Sex and Psychology. A recent blog entitled, “Nearly 9 in 10 Studies in Relationships Exclude Sexual Minorities” was, to say the least, somewhat surprising and certainly disheartening. Why? Because I fall in the category of sexual minorities, e.g. lesbian, gay, or bisexual. What’s great about this site is that it is “not a personal, opinion-based blog; rather each article […] is rooted in science and actually sites the original research source.” What makes a blog personalized and respectable are the opinions and various viewpoints offered to the lay-Internet user. However, if you want a reputable site full of interesting and informative articles, check out this site.

His Own Bio:

Sex and Psychology was created in order to share the science of sex, love, and relationships in a way that is both engaging and accessible. It is departure from most of the other sexual advice websites out there, which are run by self-proclaimed experts who base their information largely upon their own personal experiences and beliefs. This is not a personal, opinion-based blog; rather, each article on here is rooted in science and actually cites the original research sources. The goal is for readers to learn responsible information about sex and relationships and to correct the numerous myths and misconceptions that actively harm our sexual health and well-being.

This website is run by Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller, who received his Ph.D. in Social Psychology from Purdue University. Dr. Lehmiller is an award winning educator, having been honored three times with the Certificate of Teaching Excellence from Harvard University. He is also a prolific researcher and scholar, having published more than 30 pieces of academic writing to date, including articles in some of the leading journals on sex and relationships, several book chapters, and two textbooks. Dr. Lehmiller’s research focuses on topics including casual sex, sexual fantasy, sexual health, and friends with benefits.

Ryan: Dr. Lehmiller is everything we are not. And we do not have a problem with saying that. Great site, great for researching our own answers to certain questions we get, and a lot of informative articles.


Average Married Dad

Ryan: This is not a sex blog.  This is more of a Sex, Life, And Everything blog. Although one of our long term goals was to have our blog focus on every aspect of our lives, from our favorite movies, to our random moments, most of our views came from the “sex” of our life. This is probably our own fault, being that we had Deepthroat Tutorials and Anal Sex Research blogs go viral when we first started blogging. However, we are interested in blogs that go beyond just sex. This blog is an example of that. It is extremely sex light, but life heavy. If you are looking for a great blog to follow, this is definitely one of them. And don’t worry, there aren’t 100 different dildo reviews here!

His Own Bio:

I’m a late 30’s father of two, just a regular guy like you.  I work a 9-5 job, have a house with a mortgage and have been married for over 14 years now.  Not too long ago I swallowed the Red Pill and my world view was changed permanently resulting in many changes.  Upon reading thousands of blog posts, hundreds of books, and incorporating some sweeping changes in my life, I’ve found my life, wife, and kids have all improved and the baseline has shifted.  This blog will be a mix of parenting, marriage, fitness, nutrition, personal finance and any other aspect of self- or life-improvement that I see fit to discuss.   You’ll read about my son, LoudBoy; my daughter, Birdsnest; and my wife, Holly.

Venice: Was our breakdown of this blog average or slightly boring? Well, this blog still has a lot of sex related material, it just happens to be geared more towards an average husband and his monogamous relationship with his wife. As most of our readers know, that was us for the first 15 years of our own relationship.


Spice Up My Marriage

Venice: From topics regarding The Art Cinema to Pegging Your Husband. We need more sex blogs like this, directed at couples and how to keep things in the bedroom hot and steamy. Hopefully they ramp back up their content in 2016, as they had a slight slow down at the end of the year.  Let’s keep things nice and spicey!

Their Own Bio:

A blog where we encourage every couple in a long-term, committed relationship to learn ways to keep the spice in their relationship and grow closer together thanks to the happiness from the deep emotional and physical connections fostered by mutual pleasure.

What they are not? They are not a porn site, a hook-up site, or a judgmental place.

Ryan: Sounds familiar!


Behind The Curtains – A Secret Diary Of A Couple

Ryan: This site is really a photo blog, filled with great shots of a couple sharing themselves on the internet. Updated regularly and extremely fun and hot. There are a lot of other blogs out there updating each day on tumbler with photos, but the photos are professional or just random nude models posted on social media.  This site isn’t random, as each photo is of the couple having fun together, being nude, and spicing up their marriage. This is the same reason we started our own blog!

Their Own Bio:

This is our secret-sinner-dark-side diary. We are a couple in love that uses this blog to share our secret side and explore what other couples do to spice up their private lives and find some hot things for us to do.

Venice: There are probably 100s of couples’ blogs similar to this, including the endless twitter accounts filled with self photos of couples having sex or in sexual poses. This couple just happens to have a blog that’s easy to find. This slot if interchangeable with your own favorite exhibitionist couple. I know that’s a cop out for a top sex blog list, but there really are just too many to chose from. To bring it back to more than just photos, but self-portraits and great content, I will list a few of our previous top blogs below for you to enjoy (although not really couple driven).

My name is Molly Moore and I am a Blogger, Photographer, Published author, Public speaker and Podcaster.

My husband and I met on-line 5 years ago and embarked on a 18 month-long distance relationship, as he lived in the USA, In July 2011 he finally made the move across the pond and we got married. This is a second marriage for both of us. Our relationship is based on negotiated inequality, in that he is the dominant partner and I am the submissive partner for one very simple reason; because we love it that way. It works for both us. It is a relationship based on trust, love, communication and maybe most importantly of all consent.

My blog is a mix of sex toy reviews, sexuality opinion pieces, sensual self-portraiture, fancy sex to photography, erotic tales, and more! The main goal of my blog and work is to normalize sex, sex toys, and nudity through open discussion, creativity, and sex positivity. While I don’t believe sex is actually “dirty,” I love reclaiming the word in a positive way.

The Beautiful Kind is a sex-positive community blog led by Kendra Holliday…  Here, you can get advice, share experiences, and explore new ideas about sexuality and relationships. This site strives to bring shy folks out of their shell, and offer a safe haven for those exploring their sexually creative side. Our sexuality is connected to every aspect of our lives. All genders, sexual orientations, lifestyles, and fetishes are welcome here. Open, honest, and authentic, The Beautiful Kind is sure to entertain, educate, titillate, and inspire.

Venice: So we pretty much just cheated and gave you 4 blogs for 1 spot. What can I say, I’m a softie for bloggers openly taking self portraits and sharing themselves with the world. Plus, most of the time I look at their blogs and photos and get the strong urge to hop in Ryan’s lap. Who says beautiful self-portraits, sex articles, and great opinion pieces can’t be for couples?!!  I bet Ryan doesn’t mind!


Red Lipstick Project

Venice: Her blogs are quirky and straightforward. In other words, they speak to me in my language. Emily is the Founder of Red Lipstick Project and a Health/Relationship Coach. She’s honest as fuck and her writing is fresh and inviting to the 21st century woman. “The Dating Mantra for People Who Give Zero F*cks”

Her Own Bio:

Founder of Red Lipstick Project and Health/Relationship coach. I help people fall in love with life. I work with women who want to follow their passions, find what makes them uniquely healthy and turns them on.

Ryan: Hopefully she will stay active (or become more active) in 2016, because some of us love her work.  In fact, I talked with Venice about taking her 30 day orgasm challenge (removing the word multiple). Not for me, because I’ve surpassed that by a few years, but Venice probably orgasms 2 to 3 times a week.  It would be interesting to see how she responds to having an orgasm each day for 30 days. Although for a man this is easy work, it would definitely be a sex positive/healthy challenge for Venice.  I removed the word “multiple” from the challenge, as I do not think that’s possible.  Or is it…


In Bed With Married Women

Venice: Not what you think it is based off the title. What did I think? I thought it was a blog about a man who wrote about all the married women he has bedded. Although I am sure there is a blog like that out there, this is not that.

Her Own Bio:

In Bed With Married Women is a place to talk about sex in all its funny, weird, boring, smokin’ hot glory. Knowledge = power and all that.

Ryan: I tried to find the original purpose behind her blog name, because her bio doesn’t explain much. I went back to 2010 and saw a series, “True Wife’s Tale”, which seems to be stories about various married women’s bedroom antics and their sex lives. The original article seemed to be in question and answer format with a married woman answering questions about what her sex life is like.  I can only assume that the name “In Bed With Married Women” was at first a blog that was going to talk about  married women’s sex lives, but gradually turned into a full on sex blog. Either way, it’s updated regularly and has enough material for you to spend weeks, if not months on, just catching up.  And…Married men are still curious about what married women privately think about their sex lives!


Ann St Vincent

Venice: With an introduction like “My Journey through marriage, open marriage, divorce, being a mom, sexual, rebirth, online dating, relationships, and lots of sex,” how could there be anyone out there NOT relate? Ann St Vincent pretty much covers most of the free world. Ann writes in relatable, conversational language in an array of topics. Go to the subject in the menu “About My Lovers” and you can read about her lovers, men she’s slept with, quick and dirty encounters, and Johnny Id. She’s a riot.

Her Own Bio:

I am an executive businesswoman living in a big city in my early 40s.  I am also a Mom; my son Liam lives with me every other week.

This blog is my journal.

The turbulence in the last few years in my life – involving an open marriage and taking advantage of it, divorce, sexual reawakening, online dating – all while navigating equal custody of my son and trying to maintain a good relationship with my ex – inspired me to get back to writing.

Unlike many divorced women, I am not bitter or angry at my ex for the breakdown of our marriage.  We both agreed we should go our separate ways.  I don’t regret my choices.  I’m pretty happy.  I’m not using a dating coach (yet).  I’m not looking to replace my husband and get re-married.  What I am, after a 15-year almost totally sexless relationship, is very keen on coming back to life, fulfilling every physical and emotional desire I have.

So far, so good. Life is fun and quite messy and I’m just figuring it out as I go along.

Everything here is true and my first hand, un-embellished experience, but the names of those I mention are disguised to protect the guilty. Enjoy.

Ryan: This blog is an absolute winner in every category for us. We have always enjoyed the sex/life blogs that are in diary/journal format.


Two Horny Guys

Venice: This blog is maintained by a gay couple who post a lot of fantasies, with photos of random gay models/scenarios to match.

Their Own Bio:

We are two. We are guys. And yes, we are horny all the time. And we are also in love with each other for more than 8 years already. This blog/website/whatever is intended to share our sexual adventures, fantasies and desires with anyone interested in knowing how’s the sexual life of a gay couple. But don’t get us wrong: we’re not here to represent gay couples. Every person is a different person and every gay couple are two different persons.

We will, occasionally, post pictures of ourselves here. But we won’t show our face. We believe that this option will allow us to feel more free about what we write and the personal stories we tell. You can know more about us by reading our posts, but let us give you just a small introduction:

We are (very much) into threesomes. We are also into foursomes, orgies, group sex, and so on. We are both versatile but play more as top, therefore we prefer to have fun with bottoms. We like to watch gay porn. Together or individually. We don’t like porn made in studies that recreate tacky hotel rooms with ugly paintings on the wall. Well, some of them may be worth it. We think that toilets spoil many pictures that otherwise could be hot. We prefer hairy guys. But there are (many) exceptions to this.

Ryan: If Venice were a man, this would be the blog I would subscribe to to get my gay couple fix. Filter out all the photos and it does have a lot of entertaining content and thoughts. This type of blog takes time because they have random photos that match all of their fantasies/stories, and I can appreciate that.

Dating Tips – Making First Time Sex Less Awkward

h-armstrong-roberts-woman-whispering-into-man-s-ear-man-pulling-funny-faceDating Tips

Thanks to the random advice floating around the internet, dating is only getting easier. While browsing the internet we found some great advice that we decided to share with our readers, specifically our female readers. As you know, we preach open communication in a relationship.  In fact, most of our answers to every question we get has to do with some sort of communication. Well, communication doesn’t start after you are married. It can start on a first date, or even on the date where you are planning on having sex with your date for the first time.  Read below:

When I’m dating someone new, I usually expect we’ll have sex sometime between dates 1 and 4. Even if I’m expecting it will happen on a particular night, I typically let the man make the first (physical) move. (If you’re into more submissive men, or are a more aggressive person, then rock on, but this LPT is not for you.) The thing is, I want him to know that I’m ready for it, because when he’s ready I don’t want him to hold back/get anxious/get worked up about mechanics.

The key phrase I have used in the past is: “We’re having sex tonight, right?”

The responses tend to range from “Hell yes we are,” to arm snakes over my shoulder “Yep.”

Ask the question when you’re engaged in an activity that is not making out or cuddling unless you want the sex to commence right then. (In that case, don’t bother asking, honestly. Just put your hands on the fly of his pants and wait for the all-clear.)

whisperGood times to ask are when you’re both watching a movie (whisper it in his ear if you’re at the movies), about to finish dinner, or in the latter half of a romantic walk.

Why is it good to bring up sex casually ahead of time?

1. So he knows you’re game.

Obviously you can revoke consent at any time up to and during sex, but giving him the all-clear ahead of time is a good way to get his juices flowing. Now he knows ahead of time that you want it, and he’s less likely to be second-guessing himself during the transition from making out to humping.

2. It’s a good time to mention important details that haven’t come up yet.

Instead of both of you hurriedly consenting to sex in the seconds it takes you to remove your clothes, giving some lead time offers you both an opportunity to mention preferred methods of contraception (do either of you have a latex allergy?), std’s, and things you DO NOT WANT. (“Hell yes we’re having sex tonight! Just stay away from my butthole, you saucy minx.”)

3. It lets you get your heads in the game.

Sex with someone new can be kind of tricky. It can take you longer than you expect to get fully aroused, especially since figuring each other out can lead to some clumsiness. Having time to warm up mentally before you get started physically can help.

4. You can excuse yourself to the bathroom.

Instead of tearing yourself away during the heavy petting, now you can go to the bathroom and do your pre-sex ritual in an atmosphere of calm expectation. For me, this means swabbing downstairs with a summer’s eve wipe, changing into the secret pair of fresh panties I keep in my purse, refreshing my perfume, taking off spanx and/or tights, popping a breath mint (in my mouth, you freaks), and giving my hair a once-over. I always imagine dudes use this time to clear their floor of discarded boxers, neaten up their sheets, and chug another beer, but I really have no idea what they’re up to. Obviously your rituals will differ, but talking about sex before you do it gives everybody a little extra time to be at their best when things go down (heh), which is nice, because distractions are the last thing you want!

5. The answer might be “no!”

Finally, it’s great to talk about sex before you’re physically worked up for it, because your prospective partner might not be into it. If they respond, “Eh… I’ve had a lot to drink…” or “I’ve got an early day tomorrow,” then you’ll know to cool your jets.

This is actually a really good thing! It’s much better to discover that your partner doesn’t want sex in an emotionally neutral way. This way they don’t turn you down after you’re already naked. Plus, this doesn’t mean you can’t make out/snuggle/give each other foot rubs. All it means is that you need to turn off the part of your brain that reads into that stuff as foreplay. – Rss Sex Feed

Great advice for sure!

Q&A: I have a cuckold fetish and I am ashamed of myself.

cuckoldI’m a male, still quite young at 20 and am in my first serious relationship. My partner is 5 years older than me and is very experienced sexually, which for me was always a point of insecurity because I lost my virginity to her. After dating for 8 months, we entered the long distance stage of our relationship. And in my first months away from her, I developed a very strong cuckold fetish that I had not ever felt prior. But, here’s the thing: it scares me… a lot. It makes me very afraid of my sexuality, because I’ve always hoped to achieve a sexual relationship with a lover and life partner where we practice monogamy, and if there are any kinks we want to try out, we could make it happen for each other. That seems ideal to me. No jealousy involved, no shaming, no arousal from emotional pain, no getting turned on by compersion. I wish I could cut these sources of pleasure out of my system. I’m not sure what caused my fetish the first place, but it’s most likely because of my insecurities being less experienced than her and also being in different countries, where she has to “hold herself back” by being in a currently monogamous relationship. It makes me feel guilty for forcing her to inhibit herself. I have never told her about this fetish of mine. Should I? We’re open to talking about sexual fantasies and I love it – we’re very open and honest. But I’ve heard of cases where the girlfriend will be ashamed or feel unloved by her boyfriend’s cuckold fetish. Or, worse yet, she’ll be into the idea, and my fetish would push me to match her up with other men. I know that if I did this I would feel momentary pleasure but then feel ashamed and worthless afterwards. I just want to forget it all and relieve myself of the burdens of my new-found sexual interests. What are your thoughts?

Venice’s response:
Anytime you have a serious discussion with your partner, it can be terrifying because you don’t know how he/she will react: ashamed (as you said) at the thought being because of your cuckold fetish, feeling inadequate because she may think she’s not enough for you, angry for even considering her to be “that kind of girl.” On the other hand, she may share your feelings, which may be a good thing at first as it can easily go from 0 to 60 in the blink of an eye. I say this because if she decides to indulge your fetish, which the both of you will enjoy in its early stages, I can foresee it spinning out of control if there are no boundaries in place. Imagine her sending you pictures of one of weekend gangbangs or getting multiple shots of semen on her face. Because although you have this fetish, there may be some things that you deem too extreme. Boundaries, no matter how unorthodox a relationship may be to others, are the checks and balance that keep

Moving from a monogamous relationship to that of a multi-partner one (let alone discussing it) is a serious step and you may never go back to how things were before once you’ve done so. I understand that you’re both very open and honest, which I believe all couples should be, but openness and honesty don’t have anything to do with your desires as well as hers. My suggestions is to give your relationship some time. You may change your mind in a few months or a few weeks, or sooner. In the least, this may be a phase, a fleeting idea, and you slowly lose interest. No matter how well you think you may know her, you can never predict how she’ll react. However, I think allowing your relationship to age may work in everyone’s best interest. It will give you time to assess where you stand (if you want to eventually marry her), to make up your mind definitely (if your fetish will grow stronger or dissipate), and to get to know your partner better (you may gain insight into her own fetishes, and if that happens, you may have subsequent conversations about other relationship goals/boundaries).

Ryan’s response:
I am an advocate for being open, honest, and communicating in a relationship. However, since I have been married for so long my ideology comes from maintaining a strong marriage. Prior to marriage, the rules of engagement are completely different than what I believe a married couple should have. There are a few reasons why: Purpose of relationship, trust, and your history.

Purpose of relationship: Is this a relationship where you just want to have fun?  If so, why not tell her your fantasies and see if she is okay with it. No big deal. Is this a relationship where you want to possibly be married and live with this person for the rest of your life? If the purpose of your relationship is to life with each other forever, I am strongly against the idea of adding anyone else to your relationship. Why? Because you have your whole life to explore these other areas, and I promise you, no matter how sexual you are, it takes years to fully experience everything a person has to offer in the bedroom. You may want to carefully think about what your fantasy involves, especially with your relationship being so young. In this stage of your relationship, it may not be the best time to try things that I feel a couple should wait years into your relationship to start.  Why? History.

History: How much history do you have with this person? If you have a long history and you know all the ins and out of her personality, maybe, in the boyfriend/girlfriend stage could you share your kinky fantasies that involve others. Again, depending on the purpose of this relationship. If you have a short history and you have only known your girlfriend for a year or so (in your case, it’s a long distance relationship), there is no way you know all the ins and outs of her personality. Maybe you think you do, because I have never met a person who doesn’t think they don’t know their lover totally. It doesn’t matter if they’ve only been together for 2 weeks, people just feel they automatically know everything about another person simply because they laughed together and decided to cum on each others’ genitals. It’s not that easy, and in my opinion, it takes years, and I mean years to really get to know someone. And even then, the person is constantly changing and if the open communication stops, within a few months you could have a totally new person you are dealing with. Why is history so important though? Trust.

Trust: If you trust someone without knowing them, you are a fool. At what stage in a relationship should you trust someone? Well, judging by my fool comment, it would be after you really know the person you are with. This isn’t a simple process.  Again, everything still depends on the purpose of your relationship. There are variables here.

Being that I am in a relationship where we add a third female to our bedroom every now and then, I am glad we waited for our 15th year of marriage before this happened. We were able to trust each other more than we trust ourselves, enjoy the experience without any negative consequences, and have had almost no real issues after our experiences.  Again, I cannot really advise you on your situation because their are too many variables missing and I do not know the purpose of your relationship. If you just want to have fun and do not plan on spending the rest of your life with this person, go ahead and let her know your kinky fantasies. If you do want to spend the rest of your life with her, slow down.

Sex Games For Couples: Semen Says

What can make sex more fun and playful than turning it into a game? Throughout our years of marriage we have came up with ideas that we may or may not have actually used. But none the less, we have decided to share our ideas with our readers. Some of these games may help with communication or kinky secrets, some may be for sex parties, but others just may be simple quick fun to use as foreplay. Over the next few months we will share with our readers different games we have came up with. If you and your partner have your own games, please share in the comments below!

semen saysSemen Says: Simon Says with a twist! You can play this with a single partner, at a swinging party, at a gay party, or wherever you feel the rules can apply. One player (male) must be Semen Says. Anything Semen Says, you must do. The trick here is, Semen Says cannot get an erection. Ex: Player 1 says, “Semen says lick under both of my arms for 30 seconds.”  If Player 2 (or multiple other players) licks under Player 1’s arms, and Player 1 gets an erection, his turn is over. You can create your own rules, but for ideas sake, if Player 1 gets an erection he must give oral sex to Player 2 (or all other players involved) until Player 2 orgasms. However, if Player 2 refuses to lick under Player 1’s arms, Player 2 must give oral sex to Player 1 until he cums. Now why would Player 2 refuse a request? Who knows, maybe it’s something she/he has never thought of doing, doesn’t want to do because it crosses a personal boundary, or Player 2 is just horny and wants to suck Semen Says dick. Obviously this game needs at least one man. This game is also a great ice breaker for fmf (female/male/female) threesomes, which as our readers know, is something we enjoy ourselves. Having the man challenge the ladies to do different kinky things to him until he inevitably gets an erection gets everyone to relax. When he loses, he gets to spend the rest of the night pleasuring them for winning the game. It’s a win win. With an even larger group (mmff++), Semen Says gets more foreplay attention from various partners….until of course he losses.

So why would anyone want to be Semen Says when the goal is for him to lose? Well, the easiest answer first; you get to give oral sex and get your partner off. The other reasons are a bit more complicated.  It’s also great way to ask for something you may never ask for otherwise. Whether it be having your feet licked, ass licked, or whatever other kinks you have kept to yourself. Believe it or not, some couples do not have, or have never had oral sex, so a game like this could be a great way to break the ice and try new things.

So don’t disregard the game if you are just a couple playing together (no need to have threesomes or multiple partners to enjoy this game).  Especially if you are a new couple, young couple, or just two people that have a hard time communicating.  This game gives permission to Semen Says to ask for the things he would never ask for otherwise.

So this game is good for couples still learning to communicate sexually, great for breaking the ice during a threesome, and just balls out fun with multiple partners at a swinging party.

We actually have a few more games we will share at a future date.  Stay tuned.

For now, Semen says sign off the internet and enjoy the rest of your week!

 

Are Humans Monogamous or Polygamous?

A great article by Daniel Engber of slate.com regarding the monogamous or polygamous nature of humans.  Read below:

monkey 4someWhat makes us different from all the other animals? Is it our swollen brains, our idle hands, or perhaps our limber thumbs? In 2011, a research team reviewed the quirks of human DNA and came across another oddly shaped appendage that makes us who we are: I mean, of course, man’s smooth and spineless member. The penises of lots of mammals are endowed with “horny papillae,” hardened bumps or spikes that sometimes look like rows of studs on a fancy condom. These papillae enhance sensation, or so it has been claimed, and shorten a mating male’s delay to climax. Since humans lost their phallic bumps several million years ago, it could be that we evolved to take it slow. And it could also be the case that longer-lasting sex produced more intimate relationships.

So (one might argue that) the shedding of our penis spines gave rise to love and marriage, and (one could also say that) our tendency to mate in pairs pushed aside the need for macho competition, which in turn gave us the chance to live together in large and peaceful groups. Life in groups has surely had its perks, not least of which is that it led to bigger brains and a faculty for language, and perhaps a bunch of traits that served to civilize and tame us. And so we’ve gone from horny papillae to faithful partners—from polygamy to monogamous humanity.

I like this story well enough, but it may or may not be true. In fact, not all penis spines in nature serve to quicken sex—orangutans have fancy ones but waste a quarter of an hour in the act—so we don’t know what to make of our papillae or the lack thereof. That won’t stop anyone from wondering.

Since we like to think that how we mate defines us, the sex lives of ancient hominids have for many years been examined in computer simulations, by measuring the circumferences of ancient bones, and by applying the rules of evolution and economics. But to understand the contentious field of paleo-sexology, one must first address the question of how we mate today, and how we’ve mated in the recent past.

 

KE4dxqKAccording to anthropologists, only 1 in 6 societies enforces monogamy as a rule. There’s evidence of one-man-one-woman institutions as far back as Hammurabi’s Code; it seems the practice was further codified in ancient Greece and Rome. But even then, the human commitment to fidelity had its limits: Formal concubines were frowned upon, but slaves of either sex were fair game for extramarital affairs. The historian Walter Scheidel describes this Greco-Roman practice as polygynous monogamy—a kind of halfsy moral stance on promiscuity. Today’s Judeo-Christian culture has not shed this propensity to cheat. (If there weren’t any hanky-panky, we wouldn’t need the seventh commandment.)

In The Myth of Monogamy, evolutionary psychologists David P. Barash and Judith Eve Lipton say we’re not the only pair-bonding species that likes to sleep around. Even among the animals that have long been known as faithful types—nesting birds, etc.—not too many stay exclusive. Most dally. “There are a few species that are monogamous,” says Barash. “The fat-tailed dwarf lemur. The Malagasy giant jumping rat. You’ve got to look in the nooks and crannies to find them, though.” Like so many other animals, human beings aren’t really that monogamous. Better to say, we’re monogamish.

 

hotmonkeysexThat –ish has caused no end of trouble, for lovers and for scientists. Efforts to define our sexual behavior often run afoul of humans’ in-between-ness. Take one common proxy measure of how a primate species copulates: testis size. A male that’s forced to share its partners might do well to make each ejaculation count by firing off as many sperm as possible. Chimpanzees mate rather freely and show a high degree of male-male competition. They also have giant balls, for blowing away their rivals’. Gorillas, on the other hand, have their sexual dynamics more worked out: The alpha male has all the sex; the other males are screwed. Since there’s less chance of going head-to-head on ejaculations, tesis size isn’t so important. Gorilla balls are pretty small. And what about a man’s testes? They’re not so big and not so little. They’re just eh.

Male gorillas may not one-up each other with their testes, but they do rely on other traits to get and keep their harems. That’s why male gorillas are so huge and fearsome: so they can fight off other males for social dominance. Within a species, the difference between the male and female body type yields another proxy for mating habits: The bigger the gap in body size, the more competitive the males, and the greater the inclination toward polygynous arrangements. So how does the split between human men and women compare to that of other primates? We’re sort of in the middle.

bonobos-400x300Seeing as we’re neither one thing nor the other, scientists have been left to speculate on how our ancestors might have done their thing. Were they like gorillas, where most males suffered while one dude enjoyed the chance to spread his seed? Or more like chimpanzees—sleeping around, with males competing for multiple partners? Or is there another possibility, like the one championed by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá in their best-selling and soundlycriticized paean to free love, Sex at Dawn? According to that book’s authors, our ancestors did as bonobos do: They had rampant sex without much bickering.

Such discussions tend to dead-end quickly, though, since we just don’t know for sure. Our most recent relatives in common with these other primates lived about 6 million years ago. (I suppose if bonobos could be anthropologists, one of them might write a book on whether bonobo sexuality evolved from something humanlike.) “What this really is,” says Barash, “is a Rorschach test for the people asking the question.”

We do have data on human mating trends, but the record tends to be a little spotty. In 2010, a team in Montreal completed its analysis of breeding ratios for Homo sapiens based on a careful study of DNA. By measuring diversity in the human chromosomes, the researchers tried to figure out what proportion of the breeding pool has been composed of females. They found a ratio of slightly more than one-to-one, meaning that there were at least 11 ladies for every minyan of procreating men. But the math they used turned out to be a little wonky, and after making some corrections, they revised the numbers up a bit toward a ratio of 2. These estimates, they wrote, are still within the range you’d find for societies described as “monogamous or serially monogamous, although they also overlap with those characterizing polygyny.” Once again—we’re monogamish.

 

studygraphAt what point in hominid evolution did this in-between behavior appear? Paleontologist Owen Lovejoy published fossil specimens in 2009 from Ardipithecus ramidus, which lived 4.4 million years ago. He used the newly described species as evidence for the hominids’ great transition to (mostly) one-on-one relationships. Ardiwalked on two legs, which freed its hands for carrying food, and males that carried food, he says, were thus enabled to take that food to females. They’d evolved a way to pitch woo and bring home the bacon. By this stage in evolution, sexual dimorphism had been diminished, too, and so had other signs of male-on-male competition. Taken together, Lovejoy wrote in Science, these data points suggest “a major shift in life-history strategy [that] transformed the social structure of early hominids.” Males and females had started pairing off, and dads learned how to support their families.

A computation-minded researcher at the University of Tennessee, Sergey Gavrilets, finished up a study in May of how that transition might have followed the laws of natural selection. It’s not an easy puzzle. Gavrilets explains that a polygynous mating scheme can lead to a “vicious circle” where males waste their time and energy in fighting over females. The group might be better off if everyone split off into happy, hetero-pairs and worked on caring for their babies. But once you’ve started wars for sex, there’s an evolutionary push to keep them going. So Gavrilets set up a computer model to see if any movement toward monogamy might conform to what we know of evolution. He found that a shift in female preference for mates that offer food and child care could have made it happen. (Low-ranked males might also favor relationships with partners that didn’t cheat.)

Gavrilets says he needs to check his model against a few more theories of how human-style partnerships evolved—including one that involves the invention of cooked food. But he’s made the case, at least, that biology could lead to modern love, without any help from law or custom. “Culture came much later,” he told a reporter in the spring, “and only augmented things that were already in place.”

That’s one idea, but the study of monogamy takes all kinds. Others have been more interested in the culture and the customs. In January, a scholar named Joe Henrich published with his colleagues an account of how and why the one-partner system might have spread as a social norm. The paper points out that marriage customs are not the same as mating strategies. (They are related, though: We tend to internalize the rules of the society we live in, so “doing right” becomes its own reward.) The authors argue that when a society gets big enough and sufficiently complex, it’s advantageous for its culture to promote monogamy, or at least monogamishness.

3835402590_16795a50a2Why? Because polygamy causes problems. Henrich, et al., review a large amount of evidence to support the claim that the multiwife approach leaves lots of men unmarried and so inclined to act in risky, angry ways. These bachelors are a menace: They increase the rates of crime and conflict, and lower productivity. In China, for example, a preference for male babies skewed the gender ratio quite dramatically from 1988 to 2004. In that time, the number of unmarried men nearly doubled, and so did crime. In India, murder rates track with male-to-female ratios across the country’s states. Using these and other data, the authors argue that a culture of monogamy would tend to grow and thrive. It would be the fittest in its niche.

Of course it’s also possible that high rates of conflict lead to cases of polygamy. Walter Scheidel points out that the ancient ban on multimarriage was suspended near the end of the Peloponnesian War, with so many soldiers dead that potential husbands were in short supply. Which raises the tricky question of how monogamy relates to war: Some have argued that pair-bonding leads to larger, stronger armies and more battle-ready people. Henrich, et al., suggest the opposite, that men with wives are less inclined to go to war, which weakens despots and promotes democracy.

The answer may be something in the middle, as it often is when it comes to the science of monogamy. Some cultures have made the practice into law and others haven’t. Even our human physiology seems undecided on the issue. At every level of analysis, it’s hard to say exactly what we are or how we live. We’re faithful and we’re not. We’re lovers and we’re cheaters.