Category: Freaky Search Terms

We expose the freaky sex terms people use to find our blog!  Gross, sexy, funny, or just plain ole stupid.

September 6, 2013

Freaky Friday Weekly Search Terms – biggest dick ever been deepthroated

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freakyfridayEach week we will post our most outrageous search terms that people used to find our website that week.  Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.

Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real search terms.   Each search term was used by some person in the world that ended up on our page.

10. super deepthroat / megadildo deepthroat
Ryan:  Sounds exciting.
Venice: Sounds like an amazing se-XMen movie.
Ryan: The Return of Magneto and Mandingo
Venice: se-Xmen Origins: Polverine.
Ryan: …
Venice: Professor seX and PipeCrawler
Ryan: I’m done.
Venice: The Colossus and  Longshot
Ryan: Done?
Venice: Cyclops and Cumfire Released
Venice: The Beast and Cockheed Do Dallas
Ryan:  Seriously, I only know Magneto and Wolverine.  Mine are all used up.
Venice: Marvel Girl’s Rising Phoenix
Ryan: Nerd.
Venice: Hayyyterrr.

9. i lost a bet and sucked another mans cock
Venice: I have to wonder if this type of bet is contractually binding?
Ryan: Well, it is an oral agreement.
Venice: I see what you did there.
Ryan: Depending on his size, it could have been a pinky promise.
Venice:  Just stop…
Ryan: What?  The guy lost a bet so he needs to suck it up and pay the piper.
Venice: I just think this is one of those bets a guy should welch on.
Ryan: Listen, all we have is our balls and our word…
Venice:  …and apparently another man’s balls in your mouth.
Ryan: Oh god.   If a man says he is going to mow your grass, well damnit, he better not let the weeds grow.
Venice: If I was a man and I found out the weeds squirted sperm in my face, your yard would be a damn forest.
8. pics of women who will swallow my cum
Venice:  Is he looking for pictures of women that would possibly swallow his cum?
Ryan: Hmmm, kind of like a classified ad.
Venice: “Wanted: Woman who will swallow my cum. Must be a woman. Must have a mouth. Please send selfie shots to willyouswallowmycum19283@hotmail.com”

7. my husband wants to let our baby suck his dick
Ryan:  Not cool at all.
Venice:  What the fuck.

6. what women think of anal cum shits
Venice: Truly a question for the ages.
Ryan: Listen, I’m still not over the last one.  Like, seriously, why put the baby term on the list and then follow up with cum shits?
Venice: You’re welcome.

5. lol dildo swallowed
Venice:  I don’t see what’s so funny.
Ryan: All your lulz are belong to us.
Venice:  Really Ryan?
Ryan:  What?  The person thinks it’s funny to swallow dildos.  Nothing wrong with that.
Venice: Okay Mr. Funny Guy, how about you make me laugh.
Ryan:  …

4. biggest dick ever been deepthroated
Venice:  I’m flattered this person was led to us
Ryan:  You’re flattered?  So am I, unfortunately he was extremely let down.
Venice:  Ha!  Stop.
Ryan: Not laughing.
Venice: All your lulz are not belong to us!?

3. i let him see my vagnia
Venice:  Since when did we become a confession booth?
Ryan: I don’t think God has any problem with vagnias.
Venice: We should Urban Dictionary some of these terms we get.
Ryan:  Well, what exactly does vagnia mean to you V?
Venice: Vag-ni-a (noun): A 6th sense found in females that gives them power to control a male
Ryan: Oh that term is already in Urban Dictionary.  It’s called Pussy Whipped.

2. will my wife enjoy wearing a butt plug during sex
Venice: What the hell.  Why don’t you ask her?
Ryan: Actually, I googled that term and clicked our site to see if you would answer it on Freaky Friday.
Venice: I hope you are fucking kidding me.
Ryan:  Well?
Venice: Well what?
Ryan: Will my wife enjoy wearing a butt plug during sex?
Venice: Done.
Ryan: This is my new form of communication.  Google terms and somehow have it lead back to our page so you can answer my questions.
Venice: So smartie, how well did that whole, ‘get an answer’ thing work out for you?
Ryan: Well, give me a chance to perfect this communication technique.
Venice:  Done.

1. if i swallow my own sperm from masterbating will i get a disease
Ryan: This depends on what exactly you do prior to swallowing your sperm.  Let’s say you sperm into a nice cold bottle of delicious syphilis on a hot day, it may be possible.
Venice: I like the way you make that bottle of mountain brewed syphilis delight almost sound wonderful.
Ryan: Well, it did make me thirsty…
Venice: Do you want me to give you a minute alone in the bathroom or something?
Ryan: Hmph.

Bonus: dustins nipple
Ryan: Winner.

August 30, 2013

Freaky Friday Weekly Search Terms – Guys Compare Cocks

Freaky Search Terms , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

freakyfriday

Each week we will post our most outrageous search terms that people used to find our website that week.  Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.

Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real search terms.   Each search term was used by some person in the world that ended up on our page.

10. want to fuck her pussy but due to small size decided to anal sex
Venice: How typical for a small-dicked guy that thinks he can’t “hurt” a woman’s pussy so he decides to fuck her ass hoping for a reaction.
Ryan: If I was her I’d whistle during anal sex just to see if next he moves to belly button sex or something.
Venice:  Kinky!
Ryan:  Don’t even think about it.
Venice:  New video, coming soon!

9. 15 second video of sex ass over cummed
Venice: This is like making a “7-Minute Abs” video because 8 minutes are just too damn much.
Ryan: I hate that I let this searcher down though.   I just don’t think 15 seconds is enough time for me to release the demons.
Venice: Release the semens.

8. ian jett’s penis
Ryan: I have to google this one myself.  Who the hell is Ian Jett?
Venice:  Don’t bother, Ian Jett is the guy who posted a picture of his dick on a Subway sandwich.
Ryan: Who the hell would google for that penis?
Venice:  Subway – eat fresh.

7. guys compare cocks
Ryan: First rule of the Guys’ Club, is we don’t talk about our guy clubs.
Venice: Is this person asking or telling?  Because it’s  a known fact that all guys compare cocks.
Ryan: Okay, it’s stereotype Friday?  If women didn’t compare all their ex guy’s cocks with their current guys and develop their own mental top 100 list for the quarter we wouldn’t compare our cocks.
Venice:  Ha!  Top 100 huh?  First rule  of the womens’ club, we don’t talk about our guys’ clubs — in front of them.
Ryan:  Touché

6. phone sucking pics
Venice: I’m confused by this one.   Not sure if they mean they want to see a picture of a phone sucking on something, or someone sucking on a phone.  Semantics
Ryan: I’m buying the new  iPhone if they come out with this feature.

5. my wife said smallest dick
Ryan:  Well, she broke rule 1.
Venice: Because she’s not a real woman.  Awful, just awful.

4. fuck my face and I will puke on your dick
Ryan:  Seriously, this one isn’t as bad as it seems.
Venice: Seems like this person is giving her guy an offer he can’t refuse.
Ryan: Indeed.

3. is there anything inside a woman’s asshole
Ryan: The answer is yes, yes there is.
Venice:  Maybe if he googles, “Well can you please describe what’s inside a woman’s asshole” and it becomes a future search term, you will elaborate?
Ryan:  Maybe.  For now, the answer is, yes, yes there are anythings inside a woman’s asshole.
Venice: I can live with that.

2. are you allowed to cum inside the girls at the midnight bunny ranch
Ryan: I’d say condoms is a requirement.
Venice: I’d agree.
Ryan:  Who the hell would want to go to the bunny ranch and raw dog it?
Venice:  Ha!  Raw dog huh?
Ryan: Leave my vernacular alone.
Venice: Oh Ryan, your vernacular is spectacular. 

1. i saw my wife sucking anoter man dick but i kept quit
Venice: Why?
Ryan:  Good question.
Venice: What about the spelling here though?
Ryan: Too easy, let’s just stay quit and not mention it.
Venice:  True, let’s just save it for anoter search term.

August 23, 2013

Freaky Friday Weekly Search Terms – How Not to Swallow Cum

Freaky Search Terms , , , , , No Comments

freakyfridayEach week we will post our most outrageous search terms of that week and share them with our readers.  Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.

Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real.

10. photos of married woman cought sucking another man’s dick in a secrete place
Venice: This seems to be a popular topic
Ryan: A lot of wives caught sucking other men’s dicks for sure.
Venice:  Why they end up at our site, who knows.
Ryan: If I caught you doing this, sexblogging.com would say, “404 Error, Website doesn’t exist.”
Venice: Oh great, now when our server goes down every follower will now think, “Well, Venice just got caught sucking another man’s dick.”
Ryan: They know better.
Venice: You know better.

9. girlfriend jokes about my penis size
Ryan: So large your bedroom has a speed bump?
Venice: So small you can use a cheerio as a cock ring?
Ryan: So large terrorists tried to crash a plane into it?
Venice: So small it looks like you have 3 testicles?
Ryan: I wish I had 3 testicles.
Venice: Really, why?
Ryan: So you could juggle deeeeez nuts!!!
Venice: Okay snoopy dogg dogg, relax.

8. forceful sex after senseless
Venice: I used to love that movie.
Ryan: Me too, David Spade was hilarious in it.
Venice: We just lost everyone with these comments.  Box Office sales:  2.
Ryan: …..but we sure had fun in that theater.
Venice:  Oh yes, you definitely buttered my popcorn.

7. she left me because of the size of my penis
Venice:  Sorry to hear that.
Ryan:  Well, let’s think positive here.  Maybe she couldn’t bear the pain of his huge cock and left him because of it?
Venice: Oh, in that case, congratulations.  Most women absolutely hate huge cocks and always leave men for them for sure.  Very common.
Ryan: I wonder if people search things like this for advice or are just searching for humiliation masturbate material?
Venice: Search terms that Make You Say Hmmmmmmmmmm.
Ryan: Thanks Arsenio.

6. does ingesting sperm through the anus increase the size of butt?
Venice: I’d have a huge ass for sure.
Ryan: Ahahahaha.

5. oh god you’re going to cum in me videos
Venice: Oh dear.
Ryan: I’ll pray for whoever searched for this term.
Venice:  Amen.

4. fuck my nose mouth asshole real video sex
Venice: I’d say something witty and clever here but since we really did make a video of me sniffing your entire cumshot…
Ryan: Yea, we pretty much asked for this one.
Venice: Yup.

3. wife teased me for having a small penis
Ryan: Tease her for having a large vagina.
Venice: Tell her she feels like a wet bag of potato chips.
Ryan:  Hahaha, what flavor?
Venice: Salt and Vinegar.

2. do asian women swallow cum
Venice: This one does.
Ryan: That one does.

1. how not to swallow cum
Venice: Hold it under your tongue and move your throat as if you really swallowed.  Try to talk as clear as you possibly can and let him know he tasted great.  It may sound like you are saying, “eww apetid tape” but he may not notice. Then casually stroll to the nearest sink or toilet.  If you are not near anything, fake sneeze or find one of his shoes.
Ryan: Wow, that was pretty detailed.
Venice: As he cums stroke his dick and leave your mouth on his head softly. Leave your lips loose enough so his cum can flow down his shaft and continue to stroke until his sperm lubes up his penis, balls, ass.  With it totally lubed, rub his sensitive post-cum penis head and make him hop up and say “Thanks, that felt great.”  The game stopper technique.
Ryan: Really?
Venice: Hold out your hand as he cums and lather your palm with his semen.  After the majority of his load is in your palms, stick your mouth back around his dick and take your hand and rub under his balls.  Smear his semen around his ass cheeks and asshole.  Use this cum as lube so your fingers can easily slide in and out of his body.  This will feel amazing to him and keeps you from swallowing.
Ryan: Wow.
Venice: Oh, I just heard about this from some book I read.
Ryan:  Uh huh.

August 2, 2013

Freaky Friday’s Search Terms (Top 10)

Freaky Search Terms , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

freakyfridayEach week we will post our most outrageous search terms of that week and share them with our readers.  Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense. 

Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real.  

10. porn Subway sandwich comparison
Venice: This should make subway proud.   I am glad people think of sexblogging.com when it comes to porn and subway sandwich comparisons.  I know the first thing I think of when watching porn is a meatball subway on rye bread.
Ryan: Well, there have been times I have watched a subway commercial and thought of Japanese bukkake scenes. 
Venice: Great, now I am hungry. 

 9. if you fuck a woman in the ass can it come out of her pussy
Ryan: Apparently someone was trying to find out if it’s possible to fuck a woman in her ass and have his penis pop out of her pussy?  Maybe if you are Captian Hook.
Venice: Well, technically if the penis has a severe curve that points down and the bodies are angled right…
Ryan:  Oh no, the Asian girl is talking about angles and doing math.   This may take a while. 

 8. pierced cock 2013 only
Ryan:  I guess 2012 and 2011 weren’t great years for pierced cocks?
Venice: Is this like wine tasting?  If so, I liked the taste of your 2012 pierced cock just as much as your 2013.

7. girl injecting libido in her ass
Ryan: Here at sexblogging we like to call the libido being injected into a woman’s ass, sperm.  And yes, semen in your anus has been proven to improve your moods and  increase your sex drive.   
Venice: Gay men figured this out a long time ago.  It’s why they are so gay. 

6. shed put a but pug in her ass
Venice: The shed did what to the but pug?
Ryan: I think they were searching for a dog house or something.

  Continue Reading Freaky Friday’s Search Terms (Top 10)

May 6, 2013

Interesting Search Terms

Freaky Search Terms 1 Comment

Occasionally we like to look at our search terms to see which terms are bringing readers to our blog. While these search terms do not dictate the subject matter of our work, we admit we do get a kick out of the results.  We have about a dozen or so search terms that have been searched 100 or higher.  Borrrring.  We did find a two-word search phrase in which a simple word order switch yielded a lower result!  As interesting as it is to see what our most popular search terms are, we thought we’d share some of our more entertaining ones:

World record cum swallow

Is my husband fingering at work

Young teen girl is giving a blowjob and he cums so deep in the throat that she almost drowns in sperm and the cum runs out through her nose

Why this girl said to other my dick is small

Please don’t cum in my wife

Suffercation sex

I made my husband suck another man’s cock

stepmom fuck blog

high quality sex blog <– you know, versus a low quality sex blog (shrug)

Ass stretching with pencils

Cum on food

Cum cookie

Fuck my pillow

Who deepthroats better men or women

I hate cum

How does my penis compare to a smaller one?

I aim for her eye sockets and nose

How to eat your cum

Miley Cyrus naked

Your mom deepthroat my dick + pic

Throat bulge while sucking dick

Erotic strangulation searches and methods

Donotcuminside

I like the feeling of cuming in my throat during deepthroating stories

Hand fetish

Big hand fetish

The sounds of women deep throating and swallowing cum

Roap.tight.throat.foked.mueder

Redhead archives

He needs cushion butt to fuck me

Drunk, he felt his pants being taken off

Choking and erection pics

Pink nipples

Deepthroat video where you can see the cock going down

Young men small penis blog

Dental dam porn

Real caught in bushes sex pics

My wife will not let me cum inside her no more

She woke up with sperm in her ass

Suck cock how to deepthroat directions

I enjoy gagging on my husband’s cock while he slaps my face

Big hand and dick up in my ass

deepthroat pass out

To be continued….