Category: Sextras

September 13, 2013

Freaky Friday Search Terms – she makes me wear butt plugs

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freakyfriday

Each week we will post our most outrageous search terms that people used to find our website that week.  Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.

Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real search terms.   Each search term was used by some person in the world that ended up on our page.

10. swallow the juice of life semen
Ryan:  The juice of life huh?  Sounds like something you’d say.
Venice: I’ll admit, in the heat of the moment, I definitely see myself saying something crazy like “Let me swallow your juice of life.”
Ryan: Way worse, but yea.

9. who likes to gag on deepthroat, forums
Venice: Maybe they meant deepthroat forearms?
Ryan: I think it’s interesting people are searching for forums specifically to find others to socialize with that like to gag on deepthroat.
Venice: Sub -Forum:  Vomit or Swallow
Ryan: Sub-Forum: Tonsil Problems
Venice: Sub-Forum: Sword Tricks
Ryan:  Sub-Forum: Bulimia
Venice: Forum Topic: Deepthroating has helped smash my tonsil stones.
Ryan: Forum Topic: Can you deepthroat with strep throat?
Venice: Forum Topic:  Stomach acids have melted my husband’s penis head.
Ryan:  Real nice Venice.
Venice: Strep throat?
Ryan:  Tonsil stones?
Venice: Let’s move on before this gets ugly.
Ryan:  Your momma.

8. watching bf’s penis shrink after he cums
Venice:  That usually happens when I wash cotton shirts in warm water.
Ryan:  Learn how to wash your cocks ladies.  We do not like shrinking.
Venice: Ladies, think, clothes pins and hang dry.
Ryan: Ladies, think, that isn’t funny and a very nasty break up.

7. fellatio puking
Venice:  Personally, I like seeing fellatio puking
Ryan:  I’ve seen it a few times.
Venice: You’ll see it a few more.
Ryan: Deal.

6. huge clit home
Venice:  I think this search term came up after we posted the guy who won the smallest penis contest
Ryan: Ha!  Possibly.

5. could female porn actresses have orgasms during film sessions?
Venice:  I am under the impression everything in porn is real.
Ryan: For sure.  All female porn stars have 10 orgasms in 5 minutes.
Venice: “Oh Daddy, you’re the best.”
Ryan: I believe her.

4. adults fucking for real sex drive photos
Ryan:  I don’t think you can capture someone’s sex drive with photos.
Venice: Well, you know how when you’re driving and you run a red light they will have hidden cameras that take your picture?   Maybe they could do that with our genitals?
Ryan:  Are you being serious right now?
Venice:  Oh my god, your face would be so funny looking if a camera inside my vagina took a picture while you ate me out.
Ryan:  Uh huh.
Venice: Eyes all closed, making lovey faces all proud you are tasting my pussy.
Ryan:  Whatever.

3. She makes me wear butt plugs
Ryan: Not my type of woman.
Venice: Oh Ryan, don’t worry sweetie, I promise it won’t hurt a bit.
Ryan: Real cute V.

2. I made my husband swallow his own cum
Ryan: Sounds familiar.
Venice: I can see her now… keeping his mouth open with a speculum and using a funnel
Ryan: That doesn’t sound familiar at all, what the fuck?  Why are you looking at me and smiling?
Venice:  Oh nothing.
Ryan: I don’t think so V.  No pictures, no blogging about it, no funnels or speculums, not happening, no way.
Venice: Whatever you say Ryan.
Ryan: I’m serious, quit smiling.

1. what is the effect of swallowing sperm on the hips of women?
Ryan:  I think it keeps your hips in great shape.  In fact, I’ve heard that swallowing cum actually burns fat.  It takes more energy to digest semen, meaning semen has negative calories.  If you were to eat semen all day you would absolutely lose weight.  You could probably just give up exercise all together and just swallow cum all day and let your digestive system work your fat away.  You’re welcome fellas.
Venice: Are you done?
Ryan:  Maybe, why?
Venice:  First, false.  That’s celery.   Second, you could sleep and burn more fat than eating celery all day. Third, in a way you are right, because the alternative to swallowing may end up giving you “child bearing hips.”
Ryan: So either way, you’re saying,  swallowing is good right?
Venice: Quit smiling.

September 6, 2013

Freaky Friday Weekly Search Terms – biggest dick ever been deepthroated

Freaky Search Terms , , , , 4 Comments

freakyfridayEach week we will post our most outrageous search terms that people used to find our website that week.  Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.

Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real search terms.   Each search term was used by some person in the world that ended up on our page.

10. super deepthroat / megadildo deepthroat
Ryan:  Sounds exciting.
Venice: Sounds like an amazing se-XMen movie.
Ryan: The Return of Magneto and Mandingo
Venice: se-Xmen Origins: Polverine.
Ryan: …
Venice: Professor seX and PipeCrawler
Ryan: I’m done.
Venice: The Colossus and  Longshot
Ryan: Done?
Venice: Cyclops and Cumfire Released
Venice: The Beast and Cockheed Do Dallas
Ryan:  Seriously, I only know Magneto and Wolverine.  Mine are all used up.
Venice: Marvel Girl’s Rising Phoenix
Ryan: Nerd.
Venice: Hayyyterrr.

9. i lost a bet and sucked another mans cock
Venice: I have to wonder if this type of bet is contractually binding?
Ryan: Well, it is an oral agreement.
Venice: I see what you did there.
Ryan: Depending on his size, it could have been a pinky promise.
Venice:  Just stop…
Ryan: What?  The guy lost a bet so he needs to suck it up and pay the piper.
Venice: I just think this is one of those bets a guy should welch on.
Ryan: Listen, all we have is our balls and our word…
Venice:  …and apparently another man’s balls in your mouth.
Ryan: Oh god.   If a man says he is going to mow your grass, well damnit, he better not let the weeds grow.
Venice: If I was a man and I found out the weeds squirted sperm in my face, your yard would be a damn forest.
8. pics of women who will swallow my cum
Venice:  Is he looking for pictures of women that would possibly swallow his cum?
Ryan: Hmmm, kind of like a classified ad.
Venice: “Wanted: Woman who will swallow my cum. Must be a woman. Must have a mouth. Please send selfie shots to willyouswallowmycum19283@hotmail.com”

7. my husband wants to let our baby suck his dick
Ryan:  Not cool at all.
Venice:  What the fuck.

6. what women think of anal cum shits
Venice: Truly a question for the ages.
Ryan: Listen, I’m still not over the last one.  Like, seriously, why put the baby term on the list and then follow up with cum shits?
Venice: You’re welcome.

5. lol dildo swallowed
Venice:  I don’t see what’s so funny.
Ryan: All your lulz are belong to us.
Venice:  Really Ryan?
Ryan:  What?  The person thinks it’s funny to swallow dildos.  Nothing wrong with that.
Venice: Okay Mr. Funny Guy, how about you make me laugh.
Ryan:  …

4. biggest dick ever been deepthroated
Venice:  I’m flattered this person was led to us
Ryan:  You’re flattered?  So am I, unfortunately he was extremely let down.
Venice:  Ha!  Stop.
Ryan: Not laughing.
Venice: All your lulz are not belong to us!?

3. i let him see my vagnia
Venice:  Since when did we become a confession booth?
Ryan: I don’t think God has any problem with vagnias.
Venice: We should Urban Dictionary some of these terms we get.
Ryan:  Well, what exactly does vagnia mean to you V?
Venice: Vag-ni-a (noun): A 6th sense found in females that gives them power to control a male
Ryan: Oh that term is already in Urban Dictionary.  It’s called Pussy Whipped.

2. will my wife enjoy wearing a butt plug during sex
Venice: What the hell.  Why don’t you ask her?
Ryan: Actually, I googled that term and clicked our site to see if you would answer it on Freaky Friday.
Venice: I hope you are fucking kidding me.
Ryan:  Well?
Venice: Well what?
Ryan: Will my wife enjoy wearing a butt plug during sex?
Venice: Done.
Ryan: This is my new form of communication.  Google terms and somehow have it lead back to our page so you can answer my questions.
Venice: So smartie, how well did that whole, ‘get an answer’ thing work out for you?
Ryan: Well, give me a chance to perfect this communication technique.
Venice:  Done.

1. if i swallow my own sperm from masterbating will i get a disease
Ryan: This depends on what exactly you do prior to swallowing your sperm.  Let’s say you sperm into a nice cold bottle of delicious syphilis on a hot day, it may be possible.
Venice: I like the way you make that bottle of mountain brewed syphilis delight almost sound wonderful.
Ryan: Well, it did make me thirsty…
Venice: Do you want me to give you a minute alone in the bathroom or something?
Ryan: Hmph.

Bonus: dustins nipple
Ryan: Winner.

August 30, 2013

Freaky Friday Weekly Search Terms – Guys Compare Cocks

Freaky Search Terms , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

freakyfriday

Each week we will post our most outrageous search terms that people used to find our website that week.  Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.

Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real search terms.   Each search term was used by some person in the world that ended up on our page.

10. want to fuck her pussy but due to small size decided to anal sex
Venice: How typical for a small-dicked guy that thinks he can’t “hurt” a woman’s pussy so he decides to fuck her ass hoping for a reaction.
Ryan: If I was her I’d whistle during anal sex just to see if next he moves to belly button sex or something.
Venice:  Kinky!
Ryan:  Don’t even think about it.
Venice:  New video, coming soon!

9. 15 second video of sex ass over cummed
Venice: This is like making a “7-Minute Abs” video because 8 minutes are just too damn much.
Ryan: I hate that I let this searcher down though.   I just don’t think 15 seconds is enough time for me to release the demons.
Venice: Release the semens.

8. ian jett’s penis
Ryan: I have to google this one myself.  Who the hell is Ian Jett?
Venice:  Don’t bother, Ian Jett is the guy who posted a picture of his dick on a Subway sandwich.
Ryan: Who the hell would google for that penis?
Venice:  Subway – eat fresh.

7. guys compare cocks
Ryan: First rule of the Guys’ Club, is we don’t talk about our guy clubs.
Venice: Is this person asking or telling?  Because it’s  a known fact that all guys compare cocks.
Ryan: Okay, it’s stereotype Friday?  If women didn’t compare all their ex guy’s cocks with their current guys and develop their own mental top 100 list for the quarter we wouldn’t compare our cocks.
Venice:  Ha!  Top 100 huh?  First rule  of the womens’ club, we don’t talk about our guys’ clubs — in front of them.
Ryan:  Touché

6. phone sucking pics
Venice: I’m confused by this one.   Not sure if they mean they want to see a picture of a phone sucking on something, or someone sucking on a phone.  Semantics
Ryan: I’m buying the new  iPhone if they come out with this feature.

5. my wife said smallest dick
Ryan:  Well, she broke rule 1.
Venice: Because she’s not a real woman.  Awful, just awful.

4. fuck my face and I will puke on your dick
Ryan:  Seriously, this one isn’t as bad as it seems.
Venice: Seems like this person is giving her guy an offer he can’t refuse.
Ryan: Indeed.

3. is there anything inside a woman’s asshole
Ryan: The answer is yes, yes there is.
Venice:  Maybe if he googles, “Well can you please describe what’s inside a woman’s asshole” and it becomes a future search term, you will elaborate?
Ryan:  Maybe.  For now, the answer is, yes, yes there are anythings inside a woman’s asshole.
Venice: I can live with that.

2. are you allowed to cum inside the girls at the midnight bunny ranch
Ryan: I’d say condoms is a requirement.
Venice: I’d agree.
Ryan:  Who the hell would want to go to the bunny ranch and raw dog it?
Venice:  Ha!  Raw dog huh?
Ryan: Leave my vernacular alone.
Venice: Oh Ryan, your vernacular is spectacular. 

1. i saw my wife sucking anoter man dick but i kept quit
Venice: Why?
Ryan:  Good question.
Venice: What about the spelling here though?
Ryan: Too easy, let’s just stay quit and not mention it.
Venice:  True, let’s just save it for anoter search term.

August 23, 2013

Freaky Friday Weekly Search Terms – How Not to Swallow Cum

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freakyfridayEach week we will post our most outrageous search terms of that week and share them with our readers.  Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.

Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real.

10. photos of married woman cought sucking another man’s dick in a secrete place
Venice: This seems to be a popular topic
Ryan: A lot of wives caught sucking other men’s dicks for sure.
Venice:  Why they end up at our site, who knows.
Ryan: If I caught you doing this, sexblogging.com would say, “404 Error, Website doesn’t exist.”
Venice: Oh great, now when our server goes down every follower will now think, “Well, Venice just got caught sucking another man’s dick.”
Ryan: They know better.
Venice: You know better.

9. girlfriend jokes about my penis size
Ryan: So large your bedroom has a speed bump?
Venice: So small you can use a cheerio as a cock ring?
Ryan: So large terrorists tried to crash a plane into it?
Venice: So small it looks like you have 3 testicles?
Ryan: I wish I had 3 testicles.
Venice: Really, why?
Ryan: So you could juggle deeeeez nuts!!!
Venice: Okay snoopy dogg dogg, relax.

8. forceful sex after senseless
Venice: I used to love that movie.
Ryan: Me too, David Spade was hilarious in it.
Venice: We just lost everyone with these comments.  Box Office sales:  2.
Ryan: …..but we sure had fun in that theater.
Venice:  Oh yes, you definitely buttered my popcorn.

7. she left me because of the size of my penis
Venice:  Sorry to hear that.
Ryan:  Well, let’s think positive here.  Maybe she couldn’t bear the pain of his huge cock and left him because of it?
Venice: Oh, in that case, congratulations.  Most women absolutely hate huge cocks and always leave men for them for sure.  Very common.
Ryan: I wonder if people search things like this for advice or are just searching for humiliation masturbate material?
Venice: Search terms that Make You Say Hmmmmmmmmmm.
Ryan: Thanks Arsenio.

6. does ingesting sperm through the anus increase the size of butt?
Venice: I’d have a huge ass for sure.
Ryan: Ahahahaha.

5. oh god you’re going to cum in me videos
Venice: Oh dear.
Ryan: I’ll pray for whoever searched for this term.
Venice:  Amen.

4. fuck my nose mouth asshole real video sex
Venice: I’d say something witty and clever here but since we really did make a video of me sniffing your entire cumshot…
Ryan: Yea, we pretty much asked for this one.
Venice: Yup.

3. wife teased me for having a small penis
Ryan: Tease her for having a large vagina.
Venice: Tell her she feels like a wet bag of potato chips.
Ryan:  Hahaha, what flavor?
Venice: Salt and Vinegar.

2. do asian women swallow cum
Venice: This one does.
Ryan: That one does.

1. how not to swallow cum
Venice: Hold it under your tongue and move your throat as if you really swallowed.  Try to talk as clear as you possibly can and let him know he tasted great.  It may sound like you are saying, “eww apetid tape” but he may not notice. Then casually stroll to the nearest sink or toilet.  If you are not near anything, fake sneeze or find one of his shoes.
Ryan: Wow, that was pretty detailed.
Venice: As he cums stroke his dick and leave your mouth on his head softly. Leave your lips loose enough so his cum can flow down his shaft and continue to stroke until his sperm lubes up his penis, balls, ass.  With it totally lubed, rub his sensitive post-cum penis head and make him hop up and say “Thanks, that felt great.”  The game stopper technique.
Ryan: Really?
Venice: Hold out your hand as he cums and lather your palm with his semen.  After the majority of his load is in your palms, stick your mouth back around his dick and take your hand and rub under his balls.  Smear his semen around his ass cheeks and asshole.  Use this cum as lube so your fingers can easily slide in and out of his body.  This will feel amazing to him and keeps you from swallowing.
Ryan: Wow.
Venice: Oh, I just heard about this from some book I read.
Ryan:  Uh huh.

August 13, 2013

Review: Screeched (Screech or Dustin “Dirty Sanchez” Diamond) Sex Tape

Celebrity Sex Tape Reviews , , , , , , , , No Comments

dustindiamondWhen it comes to sex tapes, this is the one that possibly killed the entire movement.  Dustin Diamond, better known as Screech from Saved By The Bell, pulls out all his tricks for this one… or does he?

Screeched, Saved By The Smell, was supposedly recorded in a St. Louis hotel room with the intention to sell as a “leaked” sex tape.  Although Dustin Diamond has said that he tried to stop the tape being “leaked”, David Hans Schmidt of Red Light District Video, has said Dustin was in on the deal the entire time.  Although Schmidt has claimed the video is 100% authentic to his knowledge, a lot of people question Dustin is actually the guy behind the penis.

“Dustin was in on this deal from the start,” Schmidt tells us. “He made this tape in a St. Louis hotel room with two girls last summer with the intention that I would sell it.”  Schmidt showed us what he vouches is Diamond’s signature on a contract dated Aug. 27, 2006. Attached is a cover letter on which Diamond’s manager, Roger Paul, appears to have scribbled, “Let’s make some money!” Schmidt suspects Diamond has been doubly deceptive. “I have reason to believe that is not Dustin’s [manhood] in the movie,” says the agent. “You never see his face and his [manhood] in the same shot. If, in fact, he used a body double, I’m going to sue him for defrauding me, Red Light and the American public.

Our only question is, why would anyone use that penis as a stunt double?  It’s quite possibly the ugliest looking penis we’ve ever seen.

Continue Reading Review: Screeched (Screech or Dustin “Dirty Sanchez” Diamond) Sex Tape