Jasmine via the internet
Me and my husband have been married for over 5 years and until recently I never gave him any oral sex. I’ve decided to change that. I have been reading different blogs and websites, yours being one of them, and I am trying to open my mind and experience everything with my husband. My only concern is, I have tried to swallow cum with my a previous boyfriend and I immediately threw up all over him. I know that is bad, but it wasn’t just me spitting him out, I actually threw up from the taste of it, all over his lap. After that episode I have maybe given a few more blow jobs but never let a guy finish in my mouth.
Anyway, when I met my husband he told me from the beginning he just wants me happy. I told him about my past, the good, the bad, and the embarrassing, and he immediately let me know that I would never have to do anything I was uncomfortable with. Believe it or not, he has stuck to his words. I’ve never felt any pressure from him about oral sex. The few times I came close to initiating, I got scared because too much time between us has passed and I feel embarrassed. I also don’t know when to stop giving oral without hurting his feelings. I do know that I want to give him oral sex because I love him more than anything in the world and he deserves it, but I know I will never be able to swallow his cum. Do you guys have any suggestions?
Venice’s response:
Thank you for your question. I commend your husband for respecting your wishes about not asking you to give him oral sex or swallow. If the taste of semen makes you throw up, that is just awful. I know that me swallowing has made me closer to Ryan. I yield a certain dominance over him when I tell him that no one can have his cum but me, that he better not be wasting all that precious juice. I even get pissed off at the idea of him jacking off and wasting my cum. I’ve turned my cum swallowing into a game, a game where I make all the rules.
Remember this: I know it’s not apple juice, it’s cum, I get it. But the THOUGHT of it, what it represents to ME as Ryan’s wife, makes it the most delicious thing in the world. If you have to train yourself to love it, then do so! I hate to make this comparison, but it’s like smoking a cigarette for the first time: you try it because of peer pressure or you want to impress the other cool kids. At first you don’t want to do it, but you push through it, even forcing yourself. You start gagging and coughing. It’s the worst feeling ever when it burns your throat. But you see everyone doing it and you want to fit in. So you smoke another one; same reaction. You repeat this process until finally one day, your body is used to it and needs it. Now the cool kids are hanging around you all because you have this one thing in common. Well, pretend your husband is the cool kid and you want to impress him.
Also, I commend you for trying to initiate. It shows that you are willing to do it! My suggestion would be to take baby steps. If you do initiate oral sex, squeeze his penis hard after he has an erection for a few minutes and you will notice a clear sticky drop will appear around his urethra opening. This is his froth. This is the lubrication his body naturally provides to make sure his penis can penetrate the vagina. I personally think froth is very sweet. It has its own taste and texture. I think that would be a better approach to having him shoot his load into your mouth. Don’t take a whole load at once for the first time with your husband. Just a drop or two, or a small lick off his stomach. Let it sit on your tongue for a moment. You’ll realize it’s not disgusting and certainly not poison.
Remind yourself that this is your husband’s semen, the man that you love, the man who would do anything to protect you. It’s been five years and he hasn’t even suggested you give him oral sex. He sounds like one of the patient understanding ones. Wait to see how patient and understanding he will be after you blow his socks off. Once you give him oral sex on a regular basis, and possibly even swallowing him, new doors will open and you will both benefit from your new-found sexuality. “I will never be able to swallow his cum.” Never say never.
Ryan’s response:
First, thanks for reading our blog. I am glad you want to open up and try new things with your husband. 5 years is a bit long but it’s better than 10 years I suppose.
Oral sex does not have to involve any sort of “completion”. Sometimes Venice will give me oral sex just to get me erect and use her saliva to lubricate my penis for anal or vaginal intercourse. Every morning Venice wakes me up kissing on my neck, then under my arms, then each of my nipples, until finally she gets between my lap and will lick and suck on all of my sexual body parts. Sometimes she will focus on my balls, other times she will lick and suck on my penis. I never orgasm. We both know our morning time is for intimacy and enjoying each other, not to get worked up and have orgasms. It’s our way to show self control and appreciation for each other without turning kissing and closeness into pure sex.
Those are just a few examples of giving your husband the oral sex he deserves without having to taste his semen. The key here, like with most questions, is communication. Talk with your husband and let him know you feel nervous but want to give him oral sex. I promise you, he will embrace the idea. Let him know that you would prefer to give him oral as a form of foreplay, rather than a finishing act. Explain why. If he has been as patient as you say he is, I have no doubt he will totally understand. Also, if he knows oral is now something you are interested in trying, he will help initiate, taking away any of the embarrassment you may have felt before.
Now, let’s talk about the taste and idea of semen. If you think your husband’s semen gross, it will be gross. If you think his semen is the next best thing since honey, it will be honey. Whether it be the texture, the taste, the smell, or just the idea from it coming from inside another human’s body, it’s all in your mind. Let go of the childhood belief and grow into the woman he deserves. Semen should be everything but gross. That is the essence of your man, his being, his manhood, his ancestors, his past and his future, his dna, his seeds, his insides, his everything. His semen is an extension of him. Enjoy and take your man, all of him. It isn’t gross or disgusting, and it definitely shouldn’t make you puke. Free your mind and let it grow with your relationship. If a man went down on a woman and puked because her juices tasted weird to him, what would you think? It’s immature and young minded. As we grow older we learn to appreciate the finer things in life: the juices inside our partners being one of them.
Venice’s suggstions on swallowing cum:
Deepthroat. Our blog has gone into great detail about how I taste nothing, feel nothing, and smell nothing. If I am deepthroating, Ryan’s semen bypasses all my taste buds and goes straight to my stomach. For me, this is definitely neat, especially since you can feel his balls on your lips squeezing with each thrust. You can also feel his thick urethra tube at the base of his penis, where his kegel muscles are the most powerful, pushing his semen into my body. For me, the downside is I love to taste Ryan and his cum. Therefore, I enjoy letting him unload his first shot into my mouth and then slide him down my throat to enjoy the experience of his orgasm. This is the best of both worlds.
If you cannot deepthroat, try having him cum as far as he can in the back of your mouth. The goal is to get his semen past your taste buds. This may not help with the texture, but if the taste if what bothers you, this will help.
Get drunk. Most of us are just looking for a reason to lose our inhibition. That 4th or 5th shot of alcohol doesn’t taste anything like the first shot right? Well guess what, your husbands semen will taste like buttersworth syrup after a few drinks.
Use chloraseptic or some other numbing agent for sore throats. Not only does the choloraseptic have an decent flavor, but it also numbs the mouth and throat. This can help you with gagging during deepthroat, or keep you from tasting and feeling the texture of his semen. Chloraspetic can also numb the taste buds which keep you from tasting anything.
Give him oral in the morning. I’ve read that the gag reflex is the least active in the morning. Wake up, brush your teeth, give your man a blow job, swallow his load, head off to work. This lazy morning gag reflex can also help you get his penis deep in your mouth if you normally deal with a super sensitive gag reflex.
Wash down the semen with something sweet. Whether it be a coke or cold drink, wash down the semen so the after taste doesn’t make you gag or puke. Think of his semen as the alcohol and you can pick your own chaser.
Suck on a jolly rancher, tic tac, or a breath mint before oral sex. If you are skilled enough, keep the jolly rancher in your mouth while working his shaft. I know this may sound hard, which it may be, but it will definitely help with the taste.
Ask your husband to eat pineapples the night before you give him oral sex. It is rumored that pineapples make the semen taste much better. Experiment with different foods and see if it changes his semen’s flavor.
The biggest problem is your mind. I’d guarantee if you have trouble swallowing, you are the type that overthinks things. Relax, enjoy life, enjoy your man, take your mind off swallowing semen and think of something sweet. Truthfully, this is all in your mind. Grow up.
Practice by taking cum shots in the mouth without swallowing. This could be something you while taste testing his semen/food intake. The more you let him cum in your mouth the more you will get used to the texture and flavor. As you get more relaxed and comfortable, swallowing will get much easier.
Use flavored lubrication. Use honey! Although you won’t really need lubrication with oral sex, if you were to lube up your husband’s penis with flavored lubrication, like syrup or honey, the sweet flavor taste will overwhelm your tastebuds. The sticky sensation may also be amazing for his balls or anus play. Try it.
We will update this section as we think of more helpful tips in swallowing sperm.
As we understand it, swinging is one couple having sexual relations with another couple. However, there are grey areas here as some single men are also in the swing lifestyle. Although I’d disagree with this, I’d consider a single man in the “get ass any way I possibly can lifestyle.” If he isn’t sharing or letting someone explore his intimate other, he isn’t swinging. I’ve heard some couples compare the single man in the swinging lifestyle to a parasite. But other than that, the crowd is usually open-minded, as you would have to be to accept other couples into your bedroom. Either way, there are different types of swinging, like there are different types of porn. You have your hard swingers and your soft swingers. Hard swinging is swapping partners, either same or different room. Full intercourse, oral, anal, whatever. Each partner swaps and they enjoy themselves however they like, or however they have set up their own personal boundaries with their partners. Soft swinging is not quite as hardcore, but it is how most swingers start out. Same room sex but you remain with your own partner. There may be some touching of other partners, female on female if the ladies are bi, and possibly oral, but that is a grey area. I’d feel oral crosses over into the hard swinging, but what if it’s just a man eating you out while your partner has sex with you. That isn’t quite like watching your husband watching you suck off another man in front of him. With the different types of oral, different boundaries, oral would still be considered soft swinging by most couples.