Photo Shoots Gone Wild

Eggnog teardrops and pink balls
Eggnog teardrops and pink balls

Don’t let the title fool you. This blog will not end up with 18-year-old white girls flashing their titties to us on webcam for e-beads.  This blog is more of a warning for guys out there married to an Asian wife who has wild ideas and a slight case of OCD.  Do not start a month long photo shoot unless you mean it.

I remember starting the XXXmas photo shoot thinking it was going to be fun and something we do for like five minutes a day.   Boy, was I wrong.  In fact, after the first photo shoot of me aiming my penis at a cookie and letting my liquids flow, watching Venice eat the entire cookie, and then dipping my dick in milk as she sipped, I was satisfied.   Maybe I just wanted to see her eat my juices off a cookie, which was actually a first for us, I think.  I am not counting the time I came in her ice cream and watched her lick it off her spoon, because technically ice cream is not food.  It’s more of a frozen liquid.   Anyway, after the December 1, 2012 cookie photo shoot, I could have went on with the rest of the month and never touched a camera again.  However, Venice had different plans.

Tonight, I come home and Venice had purchased a half gallon of eggnog, a baby medicine dropper/mini baster, and two rolls of gift wrap.   As the night went on, I noticed she had taped two pink ornament/balls to each gift wrap, about seven inches down (Apparently Santa is the man!).   She put our life size Santa Claus upstairs and asked me to put on my Santa outfit.  A little tired, I asked if she was sure she wanted to do all that.  She excitedly motioned for me to hurry up.

So I walk upstairs and I see her down on her knees nude, placing the gift wrap near her mouth, giving our life size Santa a huge gift wrapper penis.  I laughed and thought it was extremely creative.  I set up the lighting, and spent the next ten minutes getting things focused and ready.  After a quick test run using the timer, I stood on the other side of Santa and we held our gift wrapper dicks in Venice’s face.  After she was satisfied with our positions, she asked me to grab the eggnog she had placed in her mini baster and squirt it on her.   Uncertain as to what she wanted, I put a little on her chin.  She looked at me and said, “Oh my God, is that how you cum on my face, Ryan?  Is that how Santa would cum on my face?  Blast me with it!”

I interrupted her and said, “Hopefully if Santa was to cum on your face it would turn into snow flakes in mid air, or possibly magic fairy dust with little elves dancing around your head singing Christmas carols before they nicely vanish leaving no mess at all.”

Venice rolled her eyes, ignoring my comment. “Squirt it all over my chest, my nose, and my eyes. Do it right.”   I did what she said, but was unsure about squirting the eggnog in her eyes so I didn’t.  I motioned like I was finished and tried putting the mini baster down.  She grabbed my arm and demanded, “My eyes, Ryan, make me cry eggnog sperm.”

Listen, although this blog was done tongue in cheek, when is the last time your wife asked you to squirt eggnog in her eyes, while mock sucking two Santa Clauses at once?

Exactly.

Q&A: Is masturbation wrong if your wife is sleeping next to you

Sleeping?  Who cares.
Sleeping? Who cares.

Dominic via the internet,

Venice u sexy as hell shorty.  im just sayin.  if ya man ever drops the ball and you get lonely hit a nigga up on kik or skype.   u feel me?  i left my tags on the bottom of email if you get that itch only a bbc can scratch.  trust me on this shorty ya man aint got the tools to scratch that.  ill show you wassup.

any way, ima just get straight to the question before ya man get emotional.   if im with my chick in bed and for whatever reason she is not tryin to deal with a nigga can i just pull my shit out in bed next to her and do my thing?  my girl say she aint feeling it when I do that.  she says real niggas dont that.   but it ain’t none of her business after she said no.   real niggas gotta nut and at least i aint out tryin to fuck some bird  from around the way.   if she bugs out because  the bed bouncin next to her or she gettin jealous cause i pull out a booty mag then she should just help a nigga out right?  how you gonna turn a nigga down but get mad he handle his own shit.  she been thrown out my mags but now i use my phone to check shit out.  she better not fuck with my phone.   let me know what you think shorty, i dont really care what ya boy think.  hit me up on skype shorty.

chuuuurch

Venice says:

I’m from the hood, but I can barely understand what you’re saying.  From what I’ve gathered, you’re asking if it’s all right to masturbate in bed, with your girl next to you,  if she turns you down for sex. What’s the problem?  Is she sick? Tired? Not in the mood?  It sounds like you need to talk to each other.  I understand you have your needs, so tell her that.  And although there’s nothing wrong with porn, the way you insist on talking to me on skype, I’m afraid you might graduate to other things, like strip clubs or prostitutes.  It doesn’t sound like you are committed to this relationship.   You’ve already started resenting her for not giving you sex by the way you don’t care if the bed shakes while you jack off.  That’s pretty childish.  She’s not telling you to stop jacking off, so take it to  another room.

Nip this problem in the bud before it gets worse.  If she doesn’t give you sex, you jack off.  If you shake the bed jacking off next to her while she’s sleeping, don’t be surprised when the next day she’s still mad and doesn’t give you sex again.  You both need to grow up.  She needs to stop being a prude and you need to stop being a douchebag – one of you needs swallow your pride.  It’s a vicious circle and you are both to blame.

Thank you for offering your BBC, but I don’t have any itches in my LAP that Ryan’s BWC can’t scratch.

Ryan says: 

I agree with your girl, real niggas don’t jack off.

Penis Size – The World’s Averages

How do you measure up?
How do you measure up?

Below I have posted a research on penis size.  I know us ladies are not supposed to care about this type of thing, but I do.  I find it interesting that Asian men, especially Thai men, are extremely small.  Using common sense, I will suggest that this same information could also be used to suggest that Asian women also have the smallest vaginas.  Our bodies adapt to our counterpart, and with Thai men growing outward only so much, I assume the same would be for our vaginas growing inward .   Now I get why Ryan complains about my vagina being too tight and compact.   No disrespect to the larger vaginas of the world, but if you are a woman from Congo, I suggest you say you are from somewhere else, maybe Thailand?   Thai woman can be very dark too 🙂

Article below:

Research on average penis size has confirmed racial stereotypes, with Africans coming out on top, Asians at the bottom and Europeans somewhere in between.

Richard Lynn, emeritus professor of psychology at Ulster University carried out the research, which is published in the scientific journal Personality and Individual Differences.

113 nationalities were included in a study of average penis lengths.

Big
In the penis size league tables the Daily Mail reports that men from The Republic of the Congo take top position with a porn star like 7.1 inches, with the Ecuadorians, Ghanaians and Columbians not far behind with 7 inches, 6.8 inches and 6.7 inches respectively.  The average for the African continent as a whole is a whopping 6.3 inches.

Medium
The Icelanders come top of the Europeans with 6.5 inches.  The Germans are Mr European average with 5.7 inches.  The Brits come out above the French, beating the more traditional country of love and romance, by a full 0.2 inches.  The Brits also beat the Australians (5.2in), Americans (5.1in) and Irish (5in).

Small
At the other end of the table, North and South Korea measure in at 3.8 inches. India and Thailand are only slightly bigger at 4 inches.   The overall average for north-east Asians was the lowest at 4.2 inches.

How reliable are these figures?
According to The Telegraph critics have claimed that Mr Flynn’s research is flawed because the penis length data was gathered from websites.   The Telegraph quotes Jelte Wicherts, professor of methodology at Tilburg University, Holland as saying, “This is a brave paper in a controversial area but the data has no methodology.”

Some of the average penis sizes by country:
Republic of Congo, 7.1
Ecuador, 7
Ghana, 6.8
Colombia 6.7
Iceland 6.5
Italy 6.2
South Africa 6
Sweden 5.9
Greece 5.8
Germany 5.7
New Zealand 5.5
UK 5.5
Canada 5.5
Spain 5.5
France 5.3
Australia 5.2
Russia 5.2
USA 5.1
Ireland 5
Romania 5
China 4.3
India 4
Thailand 4
South Korea 3.8
North Korea 3.8

Photo Shoot – Our Daily Sexy Christmas Photos – Happy Holidays!

Photo Shoot – Our Daily Sexy Christmas Photos – Happy Holidays!

We are taking xxxmas photos each day (some days may have 2 photos), up until Christmas.  Our Christmas photos are intended to be fun and different.

This blog entry will remain sticky until the end of December.  All photos will update in the gallery below.

Golden Showers and Peeing Myself

Golden Shower waterfall from mouthGolden Showers and Peeing Myself

Without my husband being the wiser, I followed @LenoirGold on Twitter because of his love for water play, or what it is commonly referred to as “the golden shower.” I’d been planning on a new photo shoot and this was going to be it. It wasn’t until about a week or so later when I made the suggestion that I should pee in my panties on camera to my husband. He was down to do it, as he is always down to do anything with me. We thought of different ways to do it: “Doing it in the shower is going to be corny.” I thought about doing it outside (which was the idea that we originally agreed on) or on the couch with plastic tarp or even in a kiddie pool. Then I got it. I would combine bondage and water play together.

What Is A Golden Shower?

At its most basic, the term “golden shower” ― also known as “urine play” or “water sports” ― is slang for a sex act involving urine. It’s the act of peeing on or around your partner(s), or getting peed on yourself….

It’s a fetish, more common in the dominant/submissive role-play scene.

So Let The Golden Waters Flow…

Golden ShowerNaturally I am submissive so I was excited. But I wasn’t just going to be submissive, I was going to let him give me a golden shower while orchestrating the photoshoot.  So a bit of a balance.  I planned what I was going to wear, the way I’d be tied up, I even told my husband to drink a few glasses of water about an hour before the shoot. I was thrilled to get to be the writer, director, and producer. I felt like how M. Night Shyamalan must have felt while directing “Lady in the Water.”  My husband knew somewhat what my plans were, but for the most part I was steering him. I asked him to help blindfold me, using an old t-shirt I had torn and cut into long strands of cloth.  I then asked him to help place me in the corner of the tub so I can squat and get the feel of the shoot.   Once in place, I told my husband where the rope was and asked him to tie my legs and hands together using the rope and other torn t-shirt strip.   My husband bound my wrists with nylon rope and tied my feet.  I was now helpless, completely in my husband’s control except for his willingness to keep me happy.  I trust him completely.  He lifted my skirt and exposed my pink panties. I chose pink for a reason.

I have a Golden Shower Surprise

dry panties before the golden showerI asked him to get a few pics of me “cowering” in the tub.  I felt like a prisoner whose captors were photographing  for the news reporters. I kept my head low and cocked to the left, trying to look as innocent as possible. He stood over me and pulled my head back using my hair, but I willingly followed the tug.  At this point, we were both in control.  He snapped a few pics with his cock near my face (which may be shown later if we add more photos — we like to keep the shoots around 20 photos).  I wanted to stuff it in my mouth and suck it until it got hard, but I had to show some restraint and wait until later.  I then felt him beat his penis on my face and he even put his cock inside my blindfold.  These are things he does on his own, as the power of me being helpless  begins to give him an adrenalin rush.  At one point, I believe he put his foot on my throat, taking pictures of me helpless and totally under his control.  I love it.

wetting myselfMoving away from me, I hear him shuffle to the other end of the tub.  He told me to keep my mouth open. There is silence. I can’t see a thing, but I know what he’s doing: he’s releasing the micturition reflex, which relaxes the muscles in your urethra, releasing urine from your bladder. I’m eager to taste his hot urine, and then I  feel it fountain into my mouth. I take a mouthful in and half way seal my lips. I feel his stream hit my face, my chest, down my tank top, over my skirt. I look at where I think the camera is and open my mouth to reveal it full of his urine.  He again grabs my hair and pulls my face to the camera.  I gargle his urine, letting it bubble over my tongue, before finally letting it dribble onto my chin and down my chest again. I swallow the rest in my mouth. It’s a pungent taste, like overcooked beef.

peed my pantiesI lay there and listen to the camera snap photos.  I feel him open my legs, I believe to take photos of my panties.   To our surprise, my panties are still dry.  Since my husband figured we were still doing the outside shoot with me peeing in my dress, he didn’t drink the water like I asked him to earlier.  Frustrated, I tell my husband to aim the camera between my legs so I can try to play with myself.  As my husband unknowingly takes shots of my panties, I relax my  body and release. The pictures revealed later just how well my pink panties looked as the pool of pee in my crotch darkened the cloth and puddled around my black skirt. The air is filled with the smell of our fluids. It’s not just in my mouth. I stand up and my husband takes a few more pics of my pee-soaked body and clothes. My face and body was glistening with wetness.  My husband then demanded I take my pee soaked blindfold and move it down to my mouth (photos for our own personal collection).  I again taste his urine, deep in my mouth and on my lips as I watch him take photos of me, soaking wet with urine.  It felt so wrong and dirty, but I loved it.

Cleaning Off After A Golden Shower

soaking wet from our pee and golden showerI took off my clothes and slapped them into my husband’s arms, wetting his nude body with both of our fluids.  I ordered my husband to put it all in the wash. He does it immediately, knowing I am no longer tied up and helpless.   When he returns from the laundry room, he admits that he loved the smell and look.  I nodded and agreed.   He then suggested doing it again and fucking each other while soaking wet with each others’ urine.

If he is good, we will see.

Also….

If he is bad, we will see.

If you want more ideas on what to do with your body fluids, you can check out our ideas on a sex cocktail, which involves urine, saliva, and each others’ cum.