A Real Couple Blogging About Sex, Life, and Everything In Between +

January 16, 2019

Men, Do Not Apologize For Cumming Too Soon

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Although I feel my sexual experiences, as a woman that has been married for over 20 years, is different from a lot of other sexual experiences, some things have always turned me on.  I really enjoy my husband having extremely fast orgasms.  When he wasn’t my husband, I still enjoyed him not being able to restrain himself.  The fact my body can make him lose control so quickly turns me on much more than him needing to rub his dick back and forth inside me for an hour just to ejaculate.  Even to this day, I enjoy an orgasm, but my favorite part about sex is feeling him cum inside me.  The amount of time it takes to get him off being shorter only makes me feel better.  However, this pleasure is probably because this rarely happens, and when it does, it’s such a treat for me and my ego. I want to know I can make my husband cum in seconds.  I want to know that he lost control because my mouth, vagina, or ass felt so good to him that he couldn’t control his urge to ejaculate inside me.  I also believe that good sex is when two people are totally in tune with each other and if I have an urge to make him cum fast and he responds, I enjoy that much more than I would being pounded for 30 minutes.  Some women may think that it’s a lack of self esteem that makes me happy when he cums quickly.  Or I put my self worth in his ejaculations rather than my own.  I call bullshit.  It’s down to the core of my instincts to want to please my man.  From the first moment I was sexual with him, I just wanted him to feel pleasure from his body touching mine.  Nothing made me feel more loved than being able to make my man melt inside me.  I don’t think this is insecurity or a self worth issue, but more of a woman wanting to be all woman.  I do not get self worth from pretending to have the needs of a man.   Although I love my orgasms, my orgasms are and always have been a bonus.  In my case, my husband will never have to apologize because I felt so good to him that he couldn’t control himself.  That makes me feel amazing.

With all that said above, my relationship and sex life is a bit more complicated than I make it seem.  We have had various routines that prior to sex my husband would ask me if I wanted to orgasm.  Because I could not cum from PIV (penis in vagina) sex, he would go down on me and make me cum prior to having sex.  Obviously this meant, that afterward we would have intercourse, and it was all about his orgasm.   Since I had already gotten off, my experiences and opinions on a man cumming too soon may be much different than yours.  These days I can cum through PIV, so him going longer and being able to hit the right spots is something I really enjoy.  Although I love feeling him cum inside me, I do enjoy him making me cum first.  With communication we still talk prior and if I let him know I want to get high off his dick, he will take his time and make sure to hit all my spots.  Since it took years for us to find what works for us, he appreciates me cumming from his body, the same as I appreciate him cumming from mine.  

With that being said, I am just one woman, with one opinion.  Some women may not feel the same and I can respect that.  Below is an anonymous write up from a girl that has the same line of thinking as me.  If you want to discuss, please comment below.

Every time I feel a guy orgasming, I feel so powerful. Then for some reason, no matter how long they actually lasted, out comes some kind of apology for how they “usually aren’t like this” or “sorry.” An apology and guilt is literally the last thing I want to hear from a guy who just came from my actions! When I’m still hella riled up and fuzzy!

Its an instant turn off and kills my enjoyment of the afterglow or still ongoing sexual moment.

I know that for some reason society focuses the entire act of sex on just penis insertion into vaginas and shames men for not withholding their orgasm. This is wrong and bad.

The correct response is to immediately reach down and start rubbing the clit of who you are with if you really feel you came sooner than you’d like and she didn’t get off. If you came, I’m sure she would LOVE to hear how her pussy got you off so quick and how good she is as you do this. Not one woman is going to complain about this.

If you aren’t up to it in your instant post orgasmic bliss, give it 20 minutes and go again!

The stereotype of women being annoyed at men who last 1 minute comes from the fact that usually men just roll over and go to sleep and stop touching her when he orgasms, ending the whole affair and leaving her hanging.

In general, please don’t enter the self-guilt trip for reaching orgasm between the thighs of your partner. Or down their throat. That IS the objective of sex, after all. Healthier attitudes will improve your sex more than berating yourself every time you cum in less than 20 minutes or some crazy number.

I wonder how the author would feel if a man she was with came too quickly each time they had sex.  Would that still be something he shouldn’t apologize for, or would she start to feel like he put his own pleasure before hers?  

If this happened to me below?  I mean, how can you not be that flattered by a guy so turned on just the tip of your tongue makes him orgasm?!   

January 9, 2019

Threesome Memoirs: Q&A – Unicorns and Their Safety During Threesomes

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Unicorns and Their Safety During Threesomes

I am a 23 year old female and am meeting a couple for drinks next week after we matched and chatted on tinder. They are staying in a hotel nearby, as they are on holiday, and have indicated that we might end up back at the hotel if drinks go well.

Unicorns – how did you know you would be safe when you met couples for threesomes? Not just on a relationship boundaries level, but from purely a ‘will I get kidnapped/raped/killed?’ point of view?

I have often matched with couples on tinder and am keen to try a threesome, but the issue of being outnumbered always puts me off. I am normally pretty spontaneous, experimental and confident when it comes to dating, but some help and advice in this area would be great!

Venice’s response to safety during threesomes
I suppose you would take the same kind of precautions as if you were heading to any place that would have strangers and alcohol: let someone you know trust know where you’re going and the nature of the event. 

My suggestion is to be on the phone (or even pretend) and when you arrive, say something like, “Alright, I’m here…gotta go. Talk to you later” to let them know that there are people who know your whereabouts. If you think about it, it’s the smart thing to do without letting people you don’t completely trust them. If you went to a club or party alone, you’d probably put it on your calendar, tell your friends (roommate, etc.), or maybe even on social media. I wouldn’t suggest bringing a gun or other type of weapon since that could backfire. However, in your situation, if you want to be discrete, you can ask the hotel’s front desk to call your phone at a certain time or call the room. No matter what you decide to do, being spontaneous doesn’t mean you have to be unsafe.

Ryan’s response to safety during threesomes
Statistically, I’d say meeting a man by himself is far more dangerous than meeting a couple. To get a man on social media that is a psychopath, is much more common than meeting two people, male and female, both psychopaths, both in agreement to do something illegal. Probably not likely. I’d say meeting a couple is the safest thing to do on social media, lol. Couples usually don’t serial kill and rape together. It has happened, but not even in the stratosphere as far as the number of men raping women by themselves.

We have met women before and we felt equally as unsafe because they may end up back at our place, setting us up and plotting something in the future. We have no idea their true intentions. It works both ways. Meet in a public place and if they seem like genuine couple, go back to their place for drinks. Make sure you keep your cell phone on.

We had a girl meet us and we would hang out every so often.  I’d say we got somewhat close and would play together a few times a month.  Eventually we found out that the first time she met us she had a gun in her purse. That freaked me out a little. We don’t know who we are meeting either!

January 2, 2019

How to Masturbate and hatch eggs in Pokémon Go [ Life Hacks ]

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How to Masturbate and hatch eggs in Pokémon Go.

Here is a funny and neat article regarding a sexy secret to hatching eggs in  Pokémon Go. Although the author has calculated the distance of each masturbation, depending on your size, your miles may vary!   And it is also something the ladies can do as well.

I’ve been doing my more-than-average holiday masturbation the past few days. Last holiday I was the lucky receiver of a new Apple Watch, which I haven’t used much aside from to collect walking distance on Pokémon Go. I realized over the last few days that masturbating with the watch on has been getting me 0.4-0.6km walking credit for each fap. I was amazed at finding a productive use of the Apple Watch so I did some quick calculations:

My penis is about 15cm long, which means I am getting a solid 3,300 full base-to-head strokes in to get an average of 0.5km. I’ve surmised that the last 10% of strokes gravitate around the upper half of my shaft and head, though. This means I’m getting somewhere a solid 2,970 full strokes and 330 upper half strokes in per wank. Some of that distance could be me sprinting to get a towel that I’ve inevitably forgotten, though.

Nothing is more rewarding than choking your chicken and turning on Pokémon to see you’ve hatched an egg or two in the process.

December 28, 2018

Celebrity “Self” Sex Tape Reviews: Randy Couture

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Celebrity “Self” Sex Tape Reviews: Randy Couture

Randy Couture, also known as the Natural, has unfortunately had a sex tape leak which captures him wearing nothing but his all natural birthday suit.  For those not familiar with Randy Couture, he is a UFC Legend, Champion, and has went on to star in various movies.  During one of his fights, he was famously coined by Joe Rogan as “Captain America.”  Well, Captain America is now in a legal battle over a sex tape that has leaked on the internet.  

After a podcast named The Fighter and The Kid, with Brendan Schaub and Bryan Callen, went viral making fun of Randy Couture’s Sex Tape, the world was exposed to another side of a UFC legend.  In essence, they recorded what is commonly known on YouTube as a “reaction video.”  With this video going viral and being The Fighter and the Kids most popular clip of all time, curiosity got the best of us.  

As always, we will review this self sex tape below:

1 poor, 2 fair, 3 average, 4 good, 5 excellent

Venice’s Review:
Quality: 1
Entertainment Value: 1
Star Factor: 2
Skill Level: 1
The Woman: There was no woman.
The Man: 4
Sexual Value: 1

Well, for a 50+ year old man, he has a great body.  You can’t take that away from him.  Although one would imagine an MMA fighter and legend having huge balls, you will be disappointed when you realize Randy is just an average man with an average sized penis.  No extra muscles, no human growth hormones making it larger, no tattoos on it, no cock rings shaped like UFC belts, and nothing really to keep myself from clicking on “next” on chatroulette other than I am looking at a former UFC champion. There isn’t much else to say.  The money shot was interrupted by a poor wifi connection.   

Ryan’s Review:
Quality: 1
Entertainment Value: 1
Star Factor: 2
Skill Level: 1
The Woman: He was masturbating.  Frank and beans, frank and beans.  He was masturbating!
The Man: 3
Sexual Value: 1

Well, I have now seen Randy Couture spank Tito Ortiz during a fight, spank himself to apparently turn on a woman, and spank his monkey until it throws up all over his webcam.  Obviously this was not made to be leaked on the internet.  I really can’t say much about it because it really is just a video of a UFC legend spanking his own nude ass, rubbing his nipples and balls, and masturbating on camera.  Unfortunately some things cannot be unseen.   Thanks a lot Fighter and The Kid.

December 26, 2018

Q&A: Dating a Bisexual Man

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My ‘straight’ boyfriend of 2yrs just told me he’s received anal from guys before and I’m feeling a little confused.  Dating a Bisexual Man

I am a 23 year old female and my boyfriend is a 26 year old “straight” male. We have been dating for 2 years in a pretty sexual relationship. We’ve been open about fantasies, desires etc. before so I thought I knew my partner pretty well. He has consistently referred to himself as a straight man but will sometimes joke that he would ‘love to be bi because there’s more choice’.

However recently, after a kinky conversation with various images and gifs, my bf revealed to be that he’d received anal from around 15 ‘penises’ (I say that as he said he’s said that he’d had sex with trans-females in the same conversation, but he made it sound like this ’15’ weren’t exclusively all transgender individuals).

A couple days later, again with another texting round, he’s now said that he has also given blowjobs and that he would love to be spit roasted. He’s also been talking a lot about receiving anal, how much he loves it, and sending gifs of ‘penis-on-penis’.

He tells me that he has no attraction to men whatsoever, and it’s the acts that involve dicks that are pleasurable to him.  It’s no surprise with guys’ g-spot being up their ass.

I’m trying to be a good girlfriend and just remember that everyone has their own preferences etc. but it’s all become a little much and I’m feeling a little insecure because it seems like he’s not expressing any thoughts in sex with women (e.g. me). I get that he might be feeling more comfortable with me and therefore told me about his fantasies, but I don’t know how to receive this new information.

I don’t want to make a big deal out of it and end up causing tension in the relationship so I’m lost, and don’t know how to deal with this situation.

Venice’s response to dating a bisexual man
You’re right about him feeling comfortable with you by the way he’s expressed his sexual desires with men, especially if you’re both still having sex. I get how it was surprising to hear that he’s had sex with 15 “penises,” but he did say that he has no attraction to men, i.e. having a relationship with them, and was only interested in dicks (transgender, gay, or bisexual men) and the feeling he gets when receiving/giving pleasure to/from them. To me, that seems like a fairly common thing in both men and women who prefer to be in a relationship with the opposite sex, but do have a sexual attraction to the same sex. How you’re describing your boyfriend is exactly how it is for me, because although I love women’s bodies, I don’t want to be in a relationship with a woman.

As for you, this revelation from your boyfriend is all new to you, so yes, it’s going to take some processing and understanding. But if it’s something you can discuss together, empathize, and learn to embrace, this can open up a new sexual world. If he’s not having sex on the side with men and he’s telling you that he still has fantasies about them, not only does he trust you and feel comfortable telling you, but it’s possible that he may to involve you one day.   I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing for you, but that is probably where these discussions will lead.  Dating a Bisexual Man

Ryan’s response to dating a bisexual man
From what I read, it sounds like your boyfriend is bisexual with a lot of gay experiences.  That word gay can really scare a man that identifies as straight.  What’s crazy about the labels we give each other is it can get very confusing. Being bisexual is being attracted to someone of the same sex, as well as the opposite sex.  However, a bisexual experience is being with both genders together in one experience. One on one with the same gender are gay experiences.  So he has a lot of straight experiences with you and other girlfriends, and a lot of gay experiences with other men.  He may be trying to bridge the gap and bring both of his worlds together.  He just needs to find a partner that is open enough to accept this lifestyle.  If you aren’t interested in having sexual relationships with other men, this may be a red flag for you.  Opening this Pandora’s box may lead to him asking you to sleep with other men together, have oral sex together, and share experiences.  If this is something you may be into, you are about to be a lucky girl.  I am not saying this is always the case, but if a man submits himself to another man, sucks on his penis and lets him fuck him, I wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted that same man to also take his girl. He has already given up his own body and let a man use him.  There is a submissive kink going on when a man bottoms for another man.  It’s almost like the act of submitting and giving up his power to another person is what turns him on.  What better way to submit to him by sacrificing his girlfriend to the gay gods.

The fact he doesn’t fantasize about other women is actually a good thing.  Especially because you are so new to this bisexual lifestyle your boyfriend has been living.  It means he is happy with what he has and doesn’t have fantasies about other women and he is satisfied what he gets from his “straight life.”    That may change later if you open the Pandora’s box  and have threesomes with other men.  It may lead to fantasies about trying threesomes with other women and him wanting you to explore your own sexuality.  That’s a whole different realm of thought that I won’t get into.  

My suggestion to you is to ask him if he is interested in you pegging him.  If you are open minded enough to hold his legs up and use a strap-on on him, he may enjoy that feeling of submissiveness.  My other suggestion is to sit him down and let him know you are not okay with him going behind his back and having gay experiences.  A lot of boyfriends/husbands live this second lifestyle behind their partners back.  He is obviously being open and honest, but you probably should lay some boundaries and let him know you do consider him being sexual with another person, man or woman, as cheating.  If you are not into an open lifestyle, he will need to understand that being bisexual doesn’t mean he gets a free pass.  Sometimes men think that because it’s another man, it really isn’t cheating.  Be careful, this type of thing can be very complicated.  I do not have enough information to know if you are okay with him creeping on the side, okay with possibly joining him with another man, etc.  So I won’t get into the dos and don’ts. Dating a Bisexual Man