A Real Couple Blogging About Sex, Life, and Everything In Between +

November 10, 2017

Designer Dildo Contains Your Loved One’s Cremated Ashes

Blog , , , , , , No Comments

It’s a sex toy that someone — maybe you — will be dying to use.

Dutch designer Mark Sturkenboom has just created a sex toy that includes a mini-urn to hold the cremated remains of that special someone.

The erotically-shaped urn is part of “21 Grams,” a memory box devised by Sturkenboom to help grieving people feel the presence of their loved ones.

The title refers to the purported weight of the human soul based on a now-discredited study by Dr. Douglas MacDougall, an early 20th century physician who weighed patients before and after death to see if there was a change in weight, according to Snopes.com.

Besides the death-oriented dildo, Sturkenboom’s memory boxes come with a perfume diffuser that can hold the departed’s signature scent, and an iPod amplifier so the bereaved can play songs that remind them of the deceased, Dezeen.com reports.

The box can also hold other keepsakes related to the dead loved one, and comes with a brass key that can be worn as a pendant, Yahoo! News reports.

Sturkenboom said an elderly neighbor inspired him to create the memory box.

“I sometimes help an elderly lady with her groceries and she has an urn standing near the window with the remains of her husband,” he said, according to the Metro. “She always speaks with so much love about him but the jar he was in didn’t reflect that at all.

“In that same period I read an article about widows, taboos and sex and intimacy and then I thought to myself ‘Can I combine these themes and make an object that is about love and missing and intimacy?'”

Sturkenboom hasn’t officially marketed the boxes yet. He told The Huffington Post that the price hasn’t been determined.

He also hopes that people focus on the reasoning behind the concept and not the sex aspect.

“I would much appreciate if the term ‘sex toy’ or ‘dildo’ are not the headlines,” he told HuffPost by email. “It’s a conversational piece. A metaphor.”

Source: RSS Feed Huffingtonpost

Sexlifeandeverything.com:   We used a Clone-A-Willy to make clones of Ryan’s penis.  If he passes away, maybe I can put his ashes inside his own penis clone.  I have no problem with this idea and think its absolutely wonderful!

November 9, 2017

8 Things People Who’ve Been In Open Marriages Wish You Understood

Blog , , , , No Comments

Open marriages and other types of “monogam-ish” relationships are still considered taboo by many. But for couples with a strong foundation built on love, trust and communication and a mutual desire to open the marriage, it can be a positive experience. 

Below, men and women who have been part of an open marriage clear up some of the widely held assumptions that are just plain wrong. 

MYTH: They don’t take their marriage seriously. 

“[People think] that we are not committed, that we are cavalier about our relationship or marriage. This could not be further from the truth! I am 100 percent committed and loyal to my husband. That is why I do consensual non-monogamy ― in the long term I see that it enhances our connection.” ― Gracie X, author of Wide Open

We both take our relationship and marriage very serious.  We have been married for nearly 20 years and we our intimate twice a day and haven’t had any outside experiences in nearly 2 years.  Just because you can, doesn’t mean you will.  And just because you do, doesn’t mean you don’t.

MYTH: The relationship must be on the rocks. 

“There’s a misconception that it must mean there’s something wrong with your relationship or that you no longer love each other. All it really means is that you’re both very horny and want some variety. It can get monotonous eating your same favorite meal night after night, year after year. This way, you relearn to appreciate that meal even more.”  ― Richie Cohen of the married comedy duo Dick and Duane

Our entire blog is proof that this entire idea is a myth.

MYTH: The conversation about opening the marriage is always initiated by the husband. 

“Women have sex drives just like men. And jealousy is not a female prerogative. Open relationships have nothing to do with gender and everything to do with relationship style. Both men and women can desire non-monogamy, and that desire can change throughout one’s life. So don’t be surprised if you find yourself a serial monogamist one day and an open relationship proponent the next.” ― Jenny Block, excerpted from “The 9 Biggest Myths About Open Marriage” 

The conversation about an open marriage began with us talking about our sexuality.  I am bisexual and felt like exploring those feelings while with my husband.  Although we have memoirs about our entire experiences with other women, I feel it was mutual communication that got us into an open marriage where we share the same women.

MYTH: They’re not considerate of their partner’s feelings. 

“Being open or polyamorous requires being incredibly considerate and conscientious with regards to the feelings and well-being of everyone around you. In my experience, the most adept and successful polyamorous people are ones who live by the calendar and hash out dates relatively far in advance and with the prior knowledge and enthusiastic consent of their primary partners.” ― writer Grant Stoddard 

This is just silly.  

MYTH: Only selfish and immature people take part in open relationships.

“I think a huge misconception is that if you’re doing non-monogamy, you must be emotionally immature and not really in love. Non-monogamous couples who are mutually interested in this relationship model ― starting from a strong foundation and committed to one another as their primary relationship ― truly do enjoy the best of both worlds that many monogamous people secretly fantasize about: the security and love of marriage and the adventure and eroticism of variety. There are more couples making this work than most people believe. I failed at it, but there are many people succeeding.” ― Robin Rinaldi, editor of the online magazine Together 

A lot of couples that openly enjoy the experience of playing with other woman together, no strings attached, and openly use the 3rd person as a living sex doll. As long as all 3 people are totally okay with this idea, there is nothing selfish about it.  I suppose the couple is being selfish towards the 3rd person’s feelings, but usually the 3rd person is in the situation because they want to be used by a couple.  

MYTH: They’re just a bunch of wild sex addicts. 

“Not everyone in an open marriage is some kind of sex-addicted freak show. Between household duties, raising children and having a meaningful relationship with my husband, I do not have a lot of time to dedicate to having sex with other people, even if I wanted to. I do not have sex with every man I meet. I do not want to steal your husband. I do not even want to have sex with your husband. I do not have sex at the grocery store or soccer practice or bring strange men into our home.” ― Gwen & Lark for YourTango, excerpted from “I’m In An Open Marriage And You Would Never Know It” 

We personally haven’t actively pursued any partner in 2 years, but our intimate with each other twice a day.  This is called our circle and we have been practicing the circle for about 4 or 5 years.  We do leave the door open for partners, but we are intimate so much, a 3rd person is simply a tool we use to get our own rocks off together.  

MYTH: All people in open marriages are cut from the same cloth.

“The biggest misconception is that non-monogamous people are of a certain stripe and conduct their relationships in a certain way. As Lux Alptraum wrote in an article published just recently, ‘It’s important to recognize that ‘non-monogamy’ isn’t one specific, discrete thing. In the same way that ‘non-Christians’ practice a wide and varied array of religions, people who eschew monogamy do so in a number of different ways.” ― writer Grant Stoddard 

Silly.  All fingerprints are the same too.

MYTH: Once you open a relationship, it stays open.

“You can be open for any part of a relationship. It may be something you want after you have been with someone for a long time. Or you may find that after being open for a long time you find yourself craving monogamy again. Just be warned that the transition from closed to open and open to closed is not always easy, and both partners have to be on board at the same time, which can be tricky. Again, talking all along the way is the only way to make this work. (In case you have not noticed, being in a successful open relationship requires a lot of talking.)” ― Jenny Block, excerpted from “The 9 Biggest Myths About Open Marriage” 

Since we have not had a 3rd woman in our room in almost 2 years, I’d say this is totally a myth.  I don’t see why we would close the door to a better lifestyle, but I suppose we could if we communicated and both thought it was best for our marriage.  We no longer believe in the idea of monogamy and feel it’s how a lot of marriages fail.

Source: RSS Feed Huffingtonpost

November 9, 2017

From A Clean Shaven Man To A Manly Man

All Sex Talk , , , , , , No Comments

Although I don’t think there is anything wrong with a man having, or not having body hair, I do think that it’s a matter of preference. For what makes him comfortable, and for what she is attracted to. For a long time, I associated body hair on a man with being “clean and hygienic.” I felt a clean shaven body was something some men decided to do to show a possible mate that they take care of themselves.  Clean smelling, smooth shaven. Feeling a smooth body, stomach, crotch, balls, and ass meant a man took the time to groom himself.  After all, we’re humans, not apes, which meant men no longer needed body hair to keep themselves warm or to have their hair stand on end to make them a bigger to threat to their enemies. Evolutionary speaking, body hair just seems unnecessary in modern times.

I didn’t always feel this way.  When I first met Ryan I didn’t care about body hair one way or the other.  I met Ryan when I was young and other than on television or on the beach, I hadn’t seen a man’s body enough to create a personal preference.  I just know I wanted one. I do remember the first time Ryan and I snuck into my room while my parents were at work and had sex.  Later, after he left, I found his body hairs on my sheets. Instead of being grossed out, I remember picking them up and saving them in a container.  Although this was over 20 years ago, I do feel this says something about my perception of body hair before I was married.  Not only did I like body hair, I thought it was sexy and saved it as a memento to knowing he was in my bed with me.  

Flash forward a few years.  Unlike first meeting a man and not caring if he has hair on his body or not, marriage creates a new monster.  You mean I can turn my man into a Ken doll and he will go along with it?  I can make his penis look like a dildo, clean shaven, and not deal with all the body hair?  Well shoot, let me go buy him some extra razors then!

That isn’t the whole truth, but it’s partially correct.  In our relationship, Ryan was kind of on the frontier of shaving.  I think the first thing he ever shaved / trimmed was his ass hair.  He has always been extremely picky about this area of his body and has kept it groomed because he didn’t feel it was clean after using the bathroom.  He would later shave it totally clean and even take showers after using the restroom (which he still does).  He is very ANAL about his anus.   

 

Continue Reading From A Clean Shaven Man To A Manly Man

November 6, 2017

Keeping It Real – Trash Articles “7 Differences Between A Healthy Relationship And A Toxic One”

All Sex Talk , , , , , , , , No Comments

 

Over the years we have used RSS Feeds and other methods to read random articles regarding Love, Sex, and Relationships.  Most of the time we will add our opinions to them, usually agreeing for the most part.  After reading the following article, we have decided to add a new idea called “Trash Articles”.   Although this is our opinion, a lot of times the internet and blogs are used to create lists simply for click bait purposes and keywords.  That’s it.  Some of these articles are trash and deserve to be called out.  

 

You feel like a better version of yourself when you’re in a healthy, mature relationship. That doesn’t mean your partner completes you, but they do complement your life in just the right way. 

What are some other signs that you’re in the right relationship? Below, marriage experts share seven key differences between a healthy relationship and a toxic one. 

1. You’re free to pursue your hobbies and maintain friendships. 

Nothing about your core identity should change drastically because of your new relationship status. A mature partner will recognize that pursuing outside interests is necessary and a healthy way to get some air from the relationship, said Kari Carroll, a couples therapist in Portland, Oregon.

“When a partner is too attached to allow you to enjoy something on your own, it can lead to sacrificing one’s own identity to appease the relationship,” she said. “If your partner has fears about you doing things on your own, it could turn into the self-fulfilling prophecy. In other words, you may ultimately seek even more space and leave.”

In school books, I’m sure this seems like pretty intelligent stuffs.  I mean, you should be able to find your soul mate and still do everything you did without them. Nothing wrong with keeping the same friends either, ex boyfriends, best friends that you had one drunken night with, flings that became friends, or just your toxic single friends that enjoy lady nights (or night out with the fellas) and hanging out.  Why wouldn’t you?  I mean, who doesn’t want to keep celebrating ladies night right?  This isn’t toxic at all.  

/sarcasm

When you find a life partner it should be your goal to become one person with him/her. Although having your own hobbies isn’t a bad thing, there isn’t anything toxic about two people becoming one and sharing everything together. Sharing hobbies, sharing friends, and keeping a strong circle is the most important part of a relationship.  And although the books may suggest otherwise, 20 years of a very good marriage is what matters.  I’d argue keeping your hobbies you had while single, the same friendships while single, once you find a partner you love and want to spend the rest of your life with, is the most toxic thing in a relationship.  Lack of commitment, wanting to maintain your single lifestyle, yet have the advantages of marriage.  Although this can be spun both ways, I am spinning this behavior as selfish.  And selfishness in marriages ends up in divorce court.  Selfishness with your love and attention, ends up on “Relationship Goal” meme posters.

 

Continue Reading Keeping It Real – Trash Articles “7 Differences Between A Healthy Relationship And A Toxic One”

November 3, 2017

Sex Organ Beauty Pageants Bulging Out All Over (NSFW)

Blog , , , , , , , , , , No Comments

Beauty contests once focused on the whole package. Now some are just focused on the package — literally.

On Saturday, the Brooklyn-based Kings County Saloon held its 3rd Annual Smallest Penis Contest.

In addition, Autoblow, a company that makes a machine designed to perform artificial blowjobs, is now holding a contest to find America’s “most beautiful vagina.”

Add to the mix Brazil’s asinine Miss Bum Bum contest, where women compete to win the coveted title of having the country’s most shapely posterior.

Having pageants focused on particular body parts might seem impersonal, but Jesse Levitt of the Kings County Saloon, says it was a personal relationship that inspired the first “Smallest Penis Contest” in 2013.

“My business partner Amy had a bad romantic experience with a guy who was too big,” he told HuffPost. “We wanted to give a shout out to the smaller guys who go the extra mile in bed. [The contest is] not about smallness, but confidence and heart — guys who are proud to be who they are.”

This year’s winning weiner belongs to a contestant named “the Puzzlemaster,” who climaxed the peewee penis pageant with a altered version of “Goldfinger,” to reflect his endowment.

“Every girl, beware of his cock and balls… this cock is small!” he crooned, according to the Daily Beast.

smallest dick contest

Levitt admits the “Smallest Penis Contest” is “taboo and voyeuristic, but figures it’s also a statement about equality.

“We have a lot of things that objectify women’s bodies, but not as many for men,” he said.

Brian Sloan, the owner and founder of Very Intelligent Ecommerce Inc., the parent company of Autoblow, says his “Vagina Beauty Contest” isn’t meant to objectify the vagina, he just wants to improve the quality of his products.

“A dirty little secret of the adult toy industry is that the majority of vagina masturbators that are supposedly molded from porn stars and sold as replicas are, in fact, not molded from porn stars and are far from being replicas,” Sloan told HuffPost by email. “If you lined up all of the vagina toys available today, you’d find 75 percent of the vaginas to be strikingly similar.”

Sloan is also aware that the beauty contest is actually looking for the best looking vulva, not a vagina, but said he’s being scientifically inaccurate in the name of good branding.

“Vulva doesn’t have the same ring to it as vagina,” he said. “Yes, I’ve taken some linguistic liberty with the name of this contest, but people will just deal with it.”

The “Vagina Beauty Contest” currently has 15 vulvas competing to win cash prizes of $5,000, $2,500 and $1,500.

The top three vote-getting vaginas will be flown to Los Angeles. The sex organs will get a 3D scan that will allow them to be duplicated publicly on future Autoblow products.

Sloan doesn’t want his own personal biases to get in the way of sales, hence the need for a contest. He realizes vulvas come in all shapes and sizes, a fact he demonstrates using lunch meat in a not-safe-for-work video about the contest.

The winning vaginas will be used in various products, but the women they belong to, will remain anonymous and without royalties.

“This particular contest isn’t about who the winners are, but only what their vaginas look like,” he said. “Royalties are more fit for a situation where we profit from some else’s achievements or abilities. This contest is simply about what nature has bestowed upon them and I think for that, a one time payment is fair compensation.” Contact The Author 

Source: RSS Feed Huffingtonpost