Q&A: Is My Boyfriend Too Fat For Sex?

Is My Boyfriend Too Fat For Sex? 

So… I want to start off by saying that personally I find my boyfriend attractive but he is definitely fat. By that I mean I’d be unsurprised if he is not close to 400 pounds. At one point a couple months ago he said he was 360 (ish) I don’t remember exactly how much. However he is over 6 feet by a couple inches so it doesn’t look like he is as much as he is.  Is he too fat for sex?

Anyway… I’m near 100% sure that we can’t have sex. And I say this after having a couple positions with him in which we tried. I’m pretty short compared to him and so nearly every position his belly gets in the way. I haven’t said anything because the one time I tried he got really soft and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. He’s never brought it up but has stopped attempting sex at all.

His dick is small, only because of the fat surrounding it. If he’s laying down and I push his fat out of the way I believe he’d have about a 5-6 inch dick. Because I’m barely capping 5 feet there is no way possible for me to be on top of him.  I can technically get on top there is no way for my knees to reach the bed/surface. To be honest I have to be in near splits to even get my legs around him. And if he isn’t laying down his penis is closer to 2-3 inches.

Plus because of the height difference if we try missionary he has to kind of hunch over me.  This means his belly keeps him from doing more than… barely fucking my entrance? I don’t know… this is awkward for me to type. I thought anal might work better with me close to the edge of the bed and him kneeling.  That didn’t work because belly is still in the way.  The other night I was on my side with my ass toward him and one leg pulled to my chest and he could just barely almost touch either one of my holes.  Other than his head rubbing my entrance, there is no real penetration.  I’m wondering if there is anything else I can do to make it work?

It seems mean to break up because we can’t do it but… I’m in my 20s and I really want to have sex. I don’t want to say our relationship is sexless because we do still fool around and I enjoy it, but I’ve only slept with 2 other people quite a long time ago.  I want to experience it again. Also if we stayed together I’d eventually want kids in a couple years and how would that even work?

It’s really an issue even with blowjobs because I have to hold his belly and blow him which means I can’t really use my hands and it’s hard to do it at the angle I have to use. Its turned something I’ve always enjoyed into something I’d rather not do at all.

Any tips would be appreciated. I’ve read stuff online and people say they’ve always worked it out but wont detail how other than not be self conscious? I love the heavy petting we do but… I want more in my sex life and the oral and fingering is not great if I’m honest (though he’s gotten better!).


 

Venice’s response to too fat for sex

According to a quick search, there are a lot of positions overweight men can enjoy with their women.  I do not really have many other tips besides a few links because I have never had this experience. For me to suggest anything else would be silly, since you could probably help other women dealing with the same issue as yourself more than I could.  In fact,  your question will be a lot more educational than my answer!  It seems you are working various positions trying to figure out what works best for you guys.  You have learned that pushing his fat down around his penis down exposes more penis. And you have tried bending over the bed, riding him, missionary, laying sideways, and even anal.  Just the fact you are experimenting and trying to find out what works best for you is a huge plus (no pun).  

In a recent study about premature ejaculations the results show that obese men tend to last longer in bed than slimmer men.  Seems like there are a lot of pluses to plus size men!

This was totally unknown to me.  As I read through the study it seems that obese men have more estrone, which may explain things.  

Estrone (also called oestrone) is an estrogen like estradiol and estriol. Unlike the other two, estrone comes from the ovaries, as well as the adipose tissue and adrenal glands. It is a weaker estrogen, commonly found in higher quantities in postmenopausal women.

This may also explain why they say larger men enjoy cuddling, are more sensitive to their partners needs, and are more in sync with your pleasure rather than their own.  

On another note, rather than trying to communicate with him about his weight while you are about to have sex, try to have a talk with him when you aren’t trying to have sex.  That way you do not have to worry about him losing his erection.

Ryan’s response to too fat for sex

According to Metro the top 5 male body shapes women enjoy in the bedroom:

  1. Overweight / plus-size men: 38%
  2. Athletic / muscle men: 21%
  3. Tall men (taller than 6 foot): 13%
  4. Short men (shorter than 5 foot 8): 10%
  5. Slim / petite men: 9%

Interesting.  Metro also listed the top 5 reasons why women prefer ‘overweight / plus-size men’ in the bedroom: 

  1. They seemed more eager to please me than themselves: 42%
  2. They were more caring and gentle: 42%
  3. They made me feel less self-conscious about my body: 27%
  4. I had better orgasms: 19%
  5. They were more adventurous and willing to try new things: 14%

As Venice previously said, this may have to do with the Estrone levels found in larger men.

However, as much as that top 5 list makes for a great article, my opinion has always been, most women tend to like what they have.  And according to the statistics, more than 1 of 3 adults are considered to be overweight.  That statistic would fall right in line with the amount of women that prefer plus-size men.  Much like our article about women describing the perfect penis, a lot of woman prefer exactly what they have. Especially when she is happy and in love. 

And there is nothing wrong with that.

Although I cannot help you with finding positions that work best for you, I do commend you for experimenting and figuring out what feels the best for you two.  It may come down to a conversation where you express how much you love him but would love to help him lose weight so you can enjoy his actual size.  Remind him that his dick looks sexy as hell when you push the fat around his pubic area down.  And let him know you’d love to get all that inside you one day.  Or you can look into having a conversation about penis extenders / enlargers, which can help increase the size of a man’s penis by adding a soft sheath over the penis and making him thicker and longer.   Although we didn’t have a great experience with them, I’ve read that a penis enlarger can make for great sex.

animal tail butt plug

Sex Toy Review: Animal Tail Butt Plug

Sex Toy Review: Animal Tail Butt Plug

Hey guys!  Today we are putting the foxy into foxy lady…literally, with the Fox Tail Butt Plug.  What better way to make sex more animalistic by adding an animal tail into the mix!

As some of our readers know, we have a long history with dealing with butt plugs. 

His perspective on Anal Butt Plugs.

Her perspective on Anal Butt Plugs.

We have always been a strong advocate of butt plugs, done various photo shoots with both of us wearing them, and was one of the first sex blogs online to really embrace and be so open about our “hidden treasures.”  

With that said, this animal tail butt plug is a great item that can be fun to wear for photo shoots, role play, or just feeling sexy.  Obviously I will not be walking around the office with a fox tail shoved up my booty, but nonetheless, I really enjoy this thing.  A big thank you to bestvibe.com for always having great service.   As always, just a reminder that we are not sponsored or affiliated with any sellers, nor do we sell any products online.   

animal tail butt plugThe insert itself is small with a soft black coating so it fits comfortably inside your anus.  For me, the size is perfect.  Another plus is that you can wear this butt plug while having sex.  Butt plugs do make the vagina tighter, because the plug takes up “body” space.  Regardless if the plug is in your anus, all butt plugs make the space of the vagina much tighter.  If ya don’t know… now you know. 

Drop some Big Poppa on ’em.

Look at me turning my sex toy review into a rock concert!  

The Big Bonus

animal tail butt plugsWith the tail attached, the animal tail butt plug can also be a ball, ass, and taint tickler while you ride him.  Personally, I have never heard of this benefit, but it’s real.  The tail actually can be shaped (it has a rod that bends inside so you can shape it for photo shoots or sexual positions) so as you ride him you can curve it so it rubs against his taint and ass while you are on top of him.  That, along with less space in your vagina, makes for a happy husband.

You’re welcome fellas!

Fluffy Fox Tail Butt Plug – $20.79


We are not affiliated with bestvibe.com and get no revenue / commission from this review.  We are just sharing our experiences with our readers.  This item was sent to us as a promotional product, with a disclaimer from us, that if we did not like the product, we will not review it.

 

 

The Others 2020: Submissive Feminist

The Others 2020:  Submissive Feminist

We will start the new year off by changing an old category of our blog which was originally planned to just share random stories from different bloggers and couples.   Thankfully, during the process we were able to meet The Quad and Anie’s Diary.  Unfortunately, as the years passed, we have lost touch with Anie, but we are happy to share that The Quad is still together and doing wonderful.   Submissive Feminist.

We haven’t really put up any new articles for this section in years, so we have decided to keep it around but add our own celebratory toast to other sex blogs.  A challenge for 2020. 

We want to learn about other bloggers, like us, or not like us at all.  We want to give ourselves homework and dig more into the sex blogging world, rather than just skimming it and dropping our opinions on the random sexual things that we experience.  I am excited at the idea of following new people on social media.  And at the same time, maybe we can help introduce some of our readers to other sex bloggers that they may not have had a chance to check out.  You know, let these sex bloggers smell the flowers while we are all still blogging.  Either way, I am excited to dive into other blogs and see what they are all about.

My husband and I will research and learn about one other sex blog each month for the next 12 months. So that will be 12 new sex blogs we learn about in 2020.  We will link each other and talk in txt about our thoughts.  I will then take portions of our txt conversation and publish for the world to read.  

If you are a blogger and you disagree with any of our opinions, questions and answers, or our attitudes towards sex, and want to be removed off our blog, please contact us and we will quickly and quietly remove your blog off our website.   

The Others 2020:  Submissive Feminist

Okay, so I am going to just head over to Kinkly and browse various sex blogs I have seen on this list for years.  Selfishly, we haven’t really checked any of them out.  

Oh, look at this name, Submissive Feminist.  Dang, I like that.  Out of the 100 different sex blog names, this one pulls me in the most.  I really like submissiveness, but know don’t know much about the feminist aspect.  Let’s dig a bit deeper.

Continue Reading The Others 2020: Submissive Feminist

Have A Sexy Christmas – Goodbye 2019!

Have A Sexy Christmas – Goodbye 2019!

Let’s set the mood right for our sexy Christmas blog this year.  If you love National Lampoon’s Christmas vacation and lo fi music, let the needle drop…

 

2019 and The Bloggs are still naughty as ever!

Happy Holidays!

This introduction just keeps getting longer!  We have now republished this article every year since 2012. Unfortunately it’s not easy to come up with new ideas for a sexy Christmas photo shoot when you did 25 days straight in the original.  Our little wet noses and perky ears are dried up and saggy now!  Our ideas are stale.  So instead of doing more photos… 

…wait a second, as I am writing this I just came up with an idea to maybe reshoot every single photo as close as possible to the original!  7 years later.   Oh gosh, our bodies have gotten much older!  But maybe that could be a fun project!

*Edit.  After starting off the month strong, we realized that taking a photo each day just wasn’t something we had time to do!  So instead, we took a few of our favorites and turned them into a 2019 remix.   

Also make sure you check out “Naughty Selfies – Santas Little Helper

Sexy Christmas Past

Back in 2012 when we started our blog, Venice and I wanted to find a sexy way to celebrate Christmas and December.  We came up with the idea to do a photo shoot every day up until Christmas.  I believe it all started on December 1, 2012, when I asked Venice if she wanted to do a photo shoot with me cumming all over her milk and cookies.  Of course she jumped at the opportunity because she loves taking photos, and definitely doesn’t have a problem eating cookies and cream during the holidays (this photo shoot also inspired our January 2013, month long photo shoot of facials / and Venice swallowing  each day of the month).

From there it spiraled into us setting up a second Christmas tree specifically for photo shoots.  We’d message each other throughout the day and plan our next shot.  It was fun, but it was also a lot of work.

Even though the photos are from 2012, they are still timeless and we enjoy sharing them.  Welcome to the month of December!   Happy holidays everyone!

Sexy Christmas Present

2012

2019

2012

2019

2012
 

2019

A few extra photos we took this season for fun.  

2019
sexy christmas

2019

And with that said, hopefully you guys have a Merry Christmas!  Need ideas for outfits for an adult Christmas party or spicing up your own social media account?   No, not a sponsor.  Just a few great outfits for Christmas that you guy may want to check out and try on for yourself!  

Loneliness, Porn, and Losing Your Soul Mate

porn lonelinessLoneliness, Porn, and Losing Your Soul Mate

Below I have added an interesting story from an anonymous author on Reddit we decided to share with our readers.  These type of random stories get a lot of attention so we decide to archive it in case it gets deleted.  It deals with being lonely and needing porn.  However, unlike young kids not finding dates because they are addicted to porn sites, it is quite the opposite.  It’s about older gentlemen that uses porn as a way to get through life after his wife has passed.  Loneliness isn’t easy.

I get it.

This actually reminds me of Robert Kraft, the owner of the New England Patriots being arrested for paying for an illegal hand job at a massage parlor.  However, what is usually left out of this story is that his wife has passed and he was 75 years old at the time of the incident.   It doesn’t make it legal or moral, but maybe it explains why a billionaire would risk his reputation to get an illegal hand job at a massage parlor.

Below is the full story: 

Writing this on a throwaway account because I could get fired for what I did.

I work at a store that deals with technology. I won’t be specific, but it’s a pretty big store, and a family store with things for kids to play with and little classes for them. We do sales and repairs, so we’re pretty full-service and often busy and crowded.

The other day, I was approached by a coworker with a question about the parental controls on a device. I’m one of the people who is very familiar with software and interfaces, and parental controls are one of my knowledge points that a lot of the younger workers aren’t familiar with (even though I’m not a parent myself), so this wasn’t unusual. The questions centered around removing them. My coworker asked if I could take over, and I said okay. This was all very normal, right up until he said “It’s this old guy. He wants to watch porn.” That got the requisite “WTF” look from me, and my coworker stifled a laugh. “Thanks for dealing with it,” he said. I kind of shrugged. I mean, I like porn, I’m not shy about browsing it, and that people have “needs”. I had no problem handling it, though I bet other coworkers might say I should just send him to a manager to get “politely declined service for that subject.”

He takes me over, and introduces me to this very old man. He looked like he might have had Parkinson’s, with the tremor in his hand. His iPad was also very old, as was the software on it. I could tell at a glance that his system had a version from before 2013 (because I’m a nerd who can tell these things at a glance). His iPad would not even be compatible with newer systems.

The old man didn’t say anything about porn, but he said that his grandkids had been over, and he thought they did something to his iPad, because it wasn’t working like normal. He said he thought that they’d set some parental controls “to block stuff so kids can’t see it”.

I smiled, and sighed, and began to tell him the usual speech about how parental controls work, and how we’d need the passcode if one was set up, and if he didn’t have it, it would require deleting the device and beginning without a backup to get things working again. His iPad didn’t appear to have much on it. But when I got to the settings, I was surprised to find there were no parental controls turned on.

I stopped, and I let him know that it appeared there were no controls or limits set. I turned them on and off just in case. I had to ask him. “So what wasn’t working?” I was starting to worry it might be a software incompatibility due to new web standards, and that his old iPad might not be able to be updated to match them. Internally, I did not want to have that conversation. People his age were often on fixed incomes, and could not afford to get a new device.

He began trembling again. “I’m 93,” he said. “My wife died. I have nothing left. And the…the videos I’d watch, they aren’t working anymore.” He took the iPad and started to go to a webpage. “I go to xnxx, and the images are there, but when I…”

I stopped him. “Sir, uh, our WiFi blocks that,” I said. I remembered using that site myself. It was one of the regular sites I’d used to go to for many years.

He nodded and closed his eyes. “Please, I don’t have anyone. I just…need something.”

I was struck. It stopped being funny. He was so fucking lonely, and the videos he watched online were important to him. I could see in his eyes, it was something he needed, to just keep existing. And I could see just how ashamed he was to come in, with such a subject and a need, but his loneliness was too much for his shame. He was practically in tears.

I acted like what I did next was a big decision, because I thought I had to put up the act, even though it was a quick decision for me. I pulled out my phone, and I turned on the hotspot, and I put his iPad onto my phone’s WiFi. This would bypass the content restrictions our WiFi had. He thankfully had a cover on the iPad. I held it at a low angle, and positioned it so we could see but hopefully there’d be as little a chance for anyone else to see. I typed in xnxx.

The porn site came up, and I kept furtively looking over my shoulder. He said “This is how it comes up, but when you tap, it doesn’t play anything…”. So I tapped. While the page changed, I remembered to turn down the volume, and I did.

The video came up and started playing. A-okay, no problem.

He began to say it wouldn’t do that at home, but still started thanking me. Still, I wasn’t satisfied. If there’s a bug, and it works sometimes but not others, it’s not fixed, it’s just a clue to find it. I tried other videos and they all worked.

I closed the webpage and the iPad. He looked so thankful. I told him I didn’t do anything, so I wasn’t sure it was “fixed.” I considered that maybe his kids, the grandkids parents had put parental blocks up on his own ISP, but they’d block the entire site, not the vids. I told him to try it again at home. I didn’t know why it hadn’t worked, but at least we’d proven that his iPad could play them.

He left, and even as I told him that I wasn’t sure we could help further he kept thanking me. I just stood there for a moment, and then I started tearing up and had to leave the sales floor.

It struck me how lonely he was, how the porn was one of his only ways of just having moments of satisfaction. I felt that hard. I’m serially single. I’m very lonely, and porn is my escape, and I’m just 42. I realized the state he was in, that’s something that is likely coming. For all of us.

I know that a lot of my coworkers would laugh at the guy, the pervert coming in, needing his porn. But I felt sad. Sad for him. Sad for all of us. I know that loneliness. It’s waiting for us all.

I don’t know if there’s a moral here. I just thought I should share. And please, I know porn is something we laugh about and make fun of, and it’s deserving of that. But sometimes…let’s take away the shame of it. You’re lucky if you don’t need it to get those little moments. Don’t take it for granted. And allow whatever moments others have, however they get them, without shame or looking down.

There is a moral here.  It isn’t just about being sad.  It’s about having a soul mate… and maybe having to deal with losing your soul mate.  And what happens if your soul mate passes in this life and you are left alone?  What happens if you do not want to “move on” and find a new relationship, a new person to love, or someone else to fill the void. Male or female, you may still have urges to release or have a physical need that needs to be met, but do not want an emotional connection. What can you do?   Well, you can move to Nevada (or any country) where prostitution is legal, or watch porn.   Whether you call it therapy or a release, porn isn’t always such a terrible thing.