The Secret To Keeping Your Vagina Clean

My goal with this blog isn’t to shame women with smelly vaginas or add to the stereotype.  Even if you have the most beautiful vagina in the world, you still have dealt with unwelcoming odors from their vagina, whether they admit it or not.  Saying you’ve never dealt with having to clean your vagina is much like saying you’ve never brushed your teeth and/or had morning breath.  It’s just not a reality. 

I get it, that’s just something anyone wants to think about.   We do have to deal with old semen in our bodies, we do have to deal with the chemicals in condoms changing the pH in our bodies, we do have to deal with taking antibiotics for a sinus infection and the good bacteria in our bodies getting removed with the bad, and the list goes on and on.  Anything that can cause a yeast infection, which can be something as simple as a woman being turned on and getting too wet all day, can affect your smell.  With this blog I will try to go over my own experiences and what I believe is the best way / secret to keeping your vagina clean and stay odor free.   It isn’t technically a secret, but it also isn’t discussed for various reasons: talking about the secrets to eliminating odors can be embarrassing because that would mean your vagina odors (all women do), odors can be embarrassing, the vagina is usually self cleansing and if you admit it smells it suggests your vagina is broken, it’s natural, it gives more power to a man’s dick, and odors can be embarrassing

Mom knows best… clean your vagina daily

When I was a little girl, I saw a commercial on TV for Massengil, which was a product women would use if they ever had that “unfresh” feeling, aka a douche. At the time, I didn’t understand what that meant, and if I’m being perfectly honest, I don’t think I fully understood until I was well into my early 20s. I did unfold the instructions that came with the box and saw a crude caricature of a woman with one leg up at a 90 degree angle. In the next frame was the douche bottle headed right for the opening between her legs. What’s she doing that for? I thought. Does the water stay in there? What comes out? My six-year-old mind couldn’t even comprehend, and I don’t even think I asked my mom what she did with that bottle.

To be fair, my mom did emphasize the importance of washing your “private area” every day and putting on a fresh pair of panties. I didn’t question it. I thought it was part of my bathroom routine, same as brushing your teeth, combing your hair, washing your face, etc. I washed faithfully without question because you should always listen to your parents.  I never had any odors that I recall other than maybe a slight urine smell when I was a little girl.

Things that can cause odors in a vagina:

• Semen
• A dirty penis / balls
  Yes, your penis can introduce harmful bacteria to our bodies!  Keep your junk clean and stop trying to fuck us after a long day of work and no shower.
• Period blood. 
  Whether it’s heavy or late in the cycle, it changes our body’s chemistry.
• Saliva from oral sex
  When it comes to bacteria, the mouth is incredibly dirty and has hundreds of different types of bacteria living in it at any given moment.   This bacteria transfers to our vaginas when you go down on us.  Brush your teeth and use mouthwash prior to oral sex.
• Getting wet and turned on
  Getting wet is natural, getting wet and turned on without having follow-up sex can lead to an excessive build up of moisture and bacteria.  We need dick, or something shaped like a dick daily.
• Antibiotics
  Anytime you take antibiotics for other ailments such as a sinus infection, it can kill the good bacteria in  your body as well and temporary change your body chemistry.
• Being fingered
  Dirty fingernails can carry harmful bacteria
• Tight Panties
  This locks the moisture in.  If you can’t air it out, things happen.
• Baths
  Bath water can not only cause an UTI, it can also cause an imbalance in the pH of your vagina.
• Soap directly in your Vagina
• Douche (mom never knew!)
  Not only kills the bad smelly bacteria, but it also kills the good bacteria that helps get rid of your odor
• Wiping after using the bathroom
  Always wipe front to back
• Hygiene 
  Take showers, change your panties.   

The solution to all of these problems?   A penis.

My Vagina Now…

Fast forward to married life.  Although I am religiously intimate with my husband twice a day,  that doesn’t mean just vaginal penetration.  That means massages, handjobs, blowjobs, face fucking, 69ing, or him eating me out.  Having vaginal intercourse has changed to maybe 2-3 times a week.  And most of the time this sex ends with my husband cumming inside me.   Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but let me explain.

When we were younger, we would have sex regularly, because we didn’t have all the various techniques we now use to please each other.  I was never on birth control and didn’t have my tubes tied so I could still easily get pregnant.   So although we had sex daily, it didn’t end in a cream pie.  That, plus the next day having sex again, my vagina was a workhorse.  Constant sex kept my fluids flowing, kept my body self cleansing, and without semen inside me, I stayed very fresh.   This is a sneak peek into how women can keep their bodies clean.  A penis is shaped to penetrate, but it is also shaped to “plunge”.  The glans of the penis is shaped to get deep inside your body and pull out (plunge) all the old fluids deep inside our bodies.     

According to Professor Gordon Gallup from the State University of New York who led a team of scientists to investigate the anatomy of the human penis and its use, the thrust of the penis – and the ridge that separates the head from the shaft – could help clear a woman’s vagina and reproductive system of a previous lover’s sperm.

Which also means it can also help clear a woman’s vagina and reproductive system of the same man’s cum from the night before.  Hence, keeping your vagina clean.

Getting my tubes tied means I want my husband to cum inside me every time

This is important to note because vaginal sex now usually ended with semen in my vagina. And because of this, I can be left with a lot of old semen in my body. You may be saying, “There’s nothing wrong with semen! It’s clean! That’s nature!” That’s right, it is; however, when you have fluids in your body, semen included, it festers in the vaginal cavity, and after a day or two, you’ll notice the distinct “fish” smell. That’s right. How does this happen? When you have bacteria in a tight crevice (vagina) that isn’t given the opportunity to flush out, it will sit. And sit. And sit. And sit in you until one day you notice a pungent smell emanating from between your legs. You can wash your lips and your clit, and it may cut that odor just slightly, but it’s still there! 

Not to mention, now that I have vaginal penetration less often, I notice that sex is much more traumatizing.  Previously my labia and vagina could handle the abuse from a penis rubbing each night between my walls; my body was acclimated to sex.   Now, having sex less often, my labia get sore and swollen, my vaginal walls tighten and become engorged (the opposite of what men think happens when we get fucked by a big dick), and any semen left inside me, stays inside me until my vagina recovers from the trauma of sex.   In other words, my vaginal hole tightens and closes after a long sex session.   This means the cum deep inside me can’t really leak out as easily.   And I know the next day when I am at work and nothing leaks out, my husband’s cum is still deep inside my body festering.  I never had this problem when I was sexual active daily.

Our Menstrual Cycles

I came to the conclusion that my mom was probably douching right after her period, because traces of blood left in your vagina can easily lead to foul odors. “Light days” or “Day 5” of your cycle doesn’t just mean you can stop using tampons – it means you should also start cleaning yourself.

But how?   

If you have a man, on day 5 or light days, you should be asking him to clean you out.  If that makes you uncomfortable, then you should have a shaft shaped toy that has a prominent mushroom shaped glans.

I will be dead honest.  At the end of my cycle I will message my husband and flat out tell him, I want you to fuck me tonight and clean me out.  It’s called a maintenance fuck.  It may not be sexual, it may not be something he fantasizes about, but he knows that I am serious.  I want to use his dick to clean my body deep and thorough, especially at the end of my cycle.  We use coconut oil (which naturally kills yeast) and he will fuck me slow and deep to get it all out.   The next day?  I am as fresh as can be.  That’s the secret, a maintenance fuck.

The researchers found that the penises with a more pronounced “mushroom shape” — those that had a marked coronal ridge, where the head meets the shaft — fared better in the experiment. The most mushroom-shaped penis scooped out nearly 87% of prior sperm.

If it can remove 87% of prior sperm, it can remove 87% of the old blood and bacteria still inside your body from your menstrual cycle.  In other words, if you want to clean your vagina, go fuck yourself. Whether that is with a dick or dildo.  If you don’t have a man and you’re allergic to certain materials, use your fingers. I once had a girl who wanted to hook up with, tell me on a Monday, “Heyyyy, I’m on my period right now, but should be good by the weekend (wink)!” Girl, NO. I’ll see you NEXT Friday, and if I’m on my cycle at that time, see you at the end of the month. That’s just common courtesy.

Something is fishy and the secrets out…

I feel like during the first 20 years of our marriage, I didn’t have that fish problem because, you guessed it, we were constantly having sex, and in doing so, kept my vagina balanced and fresh. Think brushing your teeth (and tongue!) and scrubbing away old food, soda, and candy. Think oral thrush (yeast infection of the mouth) and having no stimulation to free your mouth of bacteria. It works the same for a vagina: the more often you have sex, the less likely you’ll have bacteria sitting and ruminating in you. 

On another note, my cousin was a prison guard and they had a post-op transgender inmate.  This inmate, by doctor’s orders, was prescribed to use a dildo each night on her body to keep from getting infections.   Now I know that this was to prevent the post-op vagina from closing completely, but the same concept still applies.  Using your body each day keeps your body regenerating and functioning properly.  The vagina can absolutely be self-cleansing IF YOU ARE USING IT.

And it’s not just semen or old period blood that can cause that odor. If you’ve ever been so turned on that your vagina starts to get wet, your own fluids can cause it, too! It’s the bacteria sitting in your vagina that does it. I remember distinctly in grade school the older sisters of my classmates saying vaginas smell like fish, or something to that effect. Basically blaming a girl for having a “fishy” vagina. But no one knew why! And that all girls are prone to it! It was just something to tease a girl about when you wanted to piss her off. So even if you’re not sexually active (i.e. having semen in you regularly) or if you don’t have a regular menstrual cycle, your vagina is susceptible to odor. No woman is immune, and it’s unavoidable. Practice total vaginal care – your future partners will thank you.