The Advantages of Couples Who Have Sex While Drunk
There are a lot of articles online about the advantages of having sex while drunk, but most of them discuss the easing of sexual tension between people. It’s known that alcohol lowers inhibitions and can help make easing into sex at the end of a date easier, or better. It can also help with premature ejaculation, as you tend to focus less on getting your orgasm, and more on the experience. As well as, alcohol seems to make the genitals a little less sensitive. Our article will not go into that aspect. I wanted to focus more on how alcohol can make sex better for a couple that is already committed and in a sexual relationship with each other.
Let’s Get This Out of The Way First
There are obviously a lot of disadvantages to alcohol, specifically your health. That’s why we stress drinking in moderation. We also are a blog that focuses more on sex and life as a couple, not sex from a single person’s perspective. Neither of us drank while single, as we were too young. However, we have researched various articles that mention alcohol leads to some women regretting their decisions while drunk, lowering their standards of who they sleep with, and that being tipsy makes it easier to be taken advantage of. Not good. Men on the other hand, just get a cool pair of beer goggles. Either way, these disadvantages have nothing to do with our article, as we are talking about committed couples, alcohol, and better sex. If my husband wants to wear beer goggles while fucking me, I’m okay with that. After 25 years of marriage, I’ve learned beer goggles actually amplify all the positive things we see in each other, so it’s a good thing in a committed relationship!
Cons:
Whiskey Dick – Whiskey dick refers to a temporary condition where a person cannot get or maintain an adequate erection after consuming too much alcohol.
Whiskey Clit – Whisky Clit refers to a temporary condition where a female takes much longer to get off due to too much alcohol consumption. My husband once went down on me for 3 hours before I had an orgasm. Wait, is whiskey clit really a con? It wasn’t a con for me!
Drunk Sex – Enthusiasm
A lot of experienced couples call sex while being drunk, “porn sex.” The reason? Because sex while drunk usually turns out to be “extra.” The enthusiasm is different. That dick you have sucked on 1000 times seems to be a lot larger, a lot more tasty, and whatever comes out of it will be the best thing you’ve tasted in the last year. Rather than going down on your partner and your mind wandering off wondering what you will be doing at work the following day, you are caught up in the moment and love having them in your mouth. So much so, you go above and beyond to show the man you are with how much you enjoy his dick. I’d even go as far as suggesting that a lot of women deep throat their men for the first time while being a bit tipsy. It makes you extremely experimental. It also might be the first time you vomit all over his dick. And that’s okay too.
My goal with this blog isn’t to shame women with smelly vaginas or add to the stereotype. Even if you have the most beautiful vagina in the world, you still have dealt with unwelcoming odors from their vagina, whether they admit it or not. Saying you’ve never dealt with having to clean your vagina is much like saying you’ve never brushed your teeth and/or had morning breath. It’s just not a reality.
I get it, that’s just something anyone wants to think about. We do have to deal with old semen in our bodies, we do have to deal with the chemicals in condoms changing the pH in our bodies, we do have to deal with taking antibiotics for a sinus infection and the good bacteria in our bodies getting removed with the bad, and the list goes on and on. Anything that can cause a yeast infection, which can be something as simple as a woman being turned on and getting too wet all day, can affect your smell. With this blog I will try to go over my own experiences and what I believe is the best way / secret to keeping your vagina clean and stay odor free. It isn’t technically a secret, but it also isn’t discussed for various reasons: talking about the secrets to eliminating odors can be embarrassing because that would mean your vagina odors (all women do), odors can be embarrassing, the vagina is usually self cleansing and if you admit it smells it suggests your vagina is broken, it’s natural, it gives more power to a man’s dick, and odors can be embarrassing
Mom knows best… clean your vagina daily
When I was a little girl, I saw a commercial on TV for Massengil, which was a product women would use if they ever had that “unfresh” feeling, aka a douche. At the time, I didn’t understand what that meant, and if I’m being perfectly honest, I don’t think I fully understood until I was well into my early 20s. I did unfold the instructions that came with the box and saw a crude caricature of a woman with one leg up at a 90 degree angle. In the next frame was the douche bottle headed right for the opening between her legs. What’s she doing that for? I thought. Does the water stay in there? What comes out? My six-year-old mind couldn’t even comprehend, and I don’t even think I asked my mom what she did with that bottle.
To be fair, my mom did emphasize the importance of washing your “private area” every day and putting on a fresh pair of panties. I didn’t question it. I thought it was part of my bathroom routine, same as brushing your teeth, combing your hair, washing your face, etc. I washed faithfully without question because you should always listen to your parents. I never had any odors that I recall other than maybe a slight urine smell when I was a little girl.
Things that can cause odors in a vagina:
Semen
A dirty penis / balls Yes, your penis can introduce harmful bacteria to our bodies! Keep your junk clean and stop trying to fuck us after a long day of work and no shower.
Period blood. Whether it’s heavy or late in the cycle, it changes our body’s chemistry.
Saliva from oral sex When it comes to bacteria, the mouth is incredibly dirty and has hundreds of different types of bacteria living in it at any given moment. This bacteria transfers to our vaginas when you go down on us. Brush your teeth and use mouthwash prior to oral sex.
Getting wet and turned on Getting wet is natural, getting wet and turned on without having follow-up sex can lead to an excessive build up of moisture and bacteria. We need dick, or something shaped like a dick daily.
Antibiotics Anytime you take antibiotics for other ailments such as a sinus infection, it can kill the good bacteria in your body as well and temporary change your body chemistry.
Being fingered Dirty fingernails can carry harmful bacteria
Tight Panties This locks the moisture in. If you can’t air it out, things happen.
Baths Bath water can not only cause an UTI, it can also cause an imbalance in the pH of your vagina.
Soap directly in your Vagina
Douche (mom never knew!) Not only kills the bad smelly bacteria, but it also kills the good bacteria that helps get rid of your odor
Wiping after using the bathroom Always wipe front to back
Fast forward to married life. Although I am religiously intimate with my husband twice a day, that doesn’t mean just vaginal penetration. That means massages, handjobs, blowjobs, face fucking, 69ing, or him eating me out. Having vaginal intercourse has changed to maybe 2-3 times a week. And most of the time this sex ends with my husband cumming inside me. Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but let me explain.
When we were younger, we would have sex regularly, because we didn’t have all the various techniques we now use to please each other. I was never on birth control and didn’t have my tubes tied so I could still easily get pregnant. So although we had sex daily, it didn’t end in a cream pie. That, plus the next day having sex again, my vagina was a workhorse. Constant sex kept my fluids flowing, kept my body self cleansing, and without semen inside me, I stayed very fresh. This is a sneak peek into how women can keep their bodies clean. A penis is shaped to penetrate, but it is also shaped to “plunge”. The glans of the penis is shaped to get deep inside your body and pull out (plunge) all the old fluids deep inside our bodies.
Which also means it can also help clear a woman’s vagina and reproductive system of the same man’s cum from the night before. Hence, keeping your vagina clean.
Getting my tubes tied means I want my husband to cum inside me every time
This is important to note because vaginal sex now usually ended with semen in my vagina. And because of this, I can be left with a lot of old semen in my body. You may be saying, “There’s nothing wrong with semen! It’s clean! That’s nature!” That’s right, it is; however, when you have fluids in your body, semen included, it festers in the vaginal cavity, and after a day or two, you’ll notice the distinct “fish” smell. That’s right. How does this happen? When you have bacteria in a tight crevice (vagina) that isn’t given the opportunity to flush out, it will sit. And sit. And sit. And sit in you until one day you notice a pungent smell emanating from between your legs. You can wash your lips and your clit, and it may cut that odor just slightly, but it’s still there!
Not to mention, now that I have vaginal penetration less often, I notice that sex is much more traumatizing. Previously my labia and vagina could handle the abuse from a penis rubbing each night between my walls; my body was acclimated to sex. Now, having sex less often, my labia get sore and swollen, my vaginal walls tighten and become engorged (the opposite of what men think happens when we get fucked by a big dick), and any semen left inside me, stays inside me until my vagina recovers from the trauma of sex. In other words, my vaginal hole tightens and closes after a long sex session. This means the cum deep inside me can’t really leak out as easily. And I know the next day when I am at work and nothing leaks out, my husband’s cum is still deep inside my body festering. I never had this problem when I was sexual active daily.
Our Menstrual Cycles
I came to the conclusion that my mom was probably douching right after her period, because traces of blood left in your vagina can easily lead to foul odors. “Light days” or “Day 5” of your cycle doesn’t just mean you can stop using tampons – it means you should also start cleaning yourself.
But how?
If you have a man, on day 5 or light days, you should be asking him to clean you out. If that makes you uncomfortable, then you should have a shaft shaped toy that has a prominent mushroom shaped glans.
I will be dead honest. At the end of my cycle I will message my husband and flat out tell him, I want you to fuck me tonight and clean me out. It’s called a maintenance fuck. It may not be sexual, it may not be something he fantasizes about, but he knows that I am serious. I want to use his dick to clean my body deep and thorough, especially at the end of my cycle. We use coconut oil(which naturally kills yeast) and he will fuck me slow and deep to get it all out. The next day? I am as fresh as can be. That’s the secret, a maintenance fuck.
The researchers found that the penises with a more pronounced “mushroom shape” — those that had a marked coronal ridge, where the head meets the shaft — fared better in the experiment. The most mushroom-shaped penis scooped out nearly 87% of prior sperm.
If it can remove 87% of prior sperm, it can remove 87% of the old blood and bacteria still inside your body from your menstrual cycle. In other words, if you want to clean your vagina, go fuck yourself. Whether that is with a dick or dildo. If you don’t have a man and you’re allergic to certain materials, use your fingers. I once had a girl who wanted to hook up with, tell me on a Monday, “Heyyyy, I’m on my period right now, but should be good by the weekend (wink)!” Girl, NO. I’ll see you NEXT Friday, and if I’m on my cycle at that time, see you at the end of the month. That’s just common courtesy.
Something is fishy and the secrets out…
I feel like during the first 20 years of our marriage, I didn’t have that fish problem because, you guessed it, we were constantly having sex, and in doing so, kept my vagina balanced and fresh. Think brushing your teeth (and tongue!) and scrubbing away old food, soda, and candy. Think oral thrush (yeast infection of the mouth) and having no stimulation to free your mouth of bacteria. It works the same for a vagina: the more often you have sex, the less likely you’ll have bacteria sitting and ruminating in you.
On another note, my cousin was a prison guard and they had a post-op transgender inmate. This inmate, by doctor’s orders, was prescribed to use a dildo each night on her body to keep from getting infections. Now I know that this was to prevent the post-op vagina from closing completely, but the same concept still applies. Using your body each day keeps your body regenerating and functioning properly. The vagina can absolutely be self-cleansing IF YOU ARE USING IT.
And it’s not just semen or old period blood that can cause that odor. If you’ve ever been so turned on that your vagina starts to get wet, your own fluids can cause it, too! It’s the bacteria sitting in your vagina that does it. I remember distinctly in grade school the older sisters of my classmates saying vaginas smell like fish, or something to that effect. Basically blaming a girl for having a “fishy” vagina. But no one knew why! And that all girls are prone to it! It was just something to tease a girl about when you wanted to piss her off. So even if you’re not sexually active (i.e. having semen in you regularly) or if you don’t have a regular menstrual cycle, your vagina is susceptible to odor. No woman is immune, and it’s unavoidable. Practice total vaginal care – your future partners will thank you.
The Dirty Talk Intro & Disclaimer: Everything in the story below is random and created on the spot while massaging and giving a handjob to my husband. No filters, no rules, no boundaries; just a story and situation created to help my husband orgasm and enjoy our experience together. We do this for intimacy and find handjobs less destructive on our bodies than having sex daily (our bodies just can’t handle penetrative sex each day). All dirty talk is usually pure fantasy. I use this dirty talk as a form of mental porn for my husband while he is in a vulnerable state due to being touched and massaged. Sexual intimacy can also help reduce feelings of anxiety and depression as it triggers the release of three mood-boosting chemicals — dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin. I usually also get really wet because my own naughty thoughts push my own personal boundaries and really turn me on. This is why it’s so fun. Unlike giving a blowjob or going through the theatrics of sex, you both connect thoughts together and create sexual stories in the heat of the moment. He trusts me and we both love this natural vulnerability. I can almost get inside his head and control his fantasies, dirty thoughts, and talk him into an orgasm in the exact moment my story hits it’s climax. During my stories he will ask me questions while I talk. I will include these to the best of my memory. In fact, every story is to the best of my memory, as I do not know remember all the exact details.
Opening My Own Massage Parlor with Happy Endings
Years ago when I transitioned from giving my husband a blow job every morning to a massage, we really only talked to each other about what we did the night before, or what we were going to do later that night. It was more of a in the moment type of dirty talk. I would tell him how much I wanted to taste his cum, how beautiful his dick was to me, how sexy all the veins in his dick looked, and just stroking his ego and his dick. Gradually our talk led into things that we would never do, and I remember this being one of the first times I ever fantasized with him during a massage.
Your dick is so big to me. It’s like a gay pornstar’s dick. It feels so fat in my hand, like I am rubbing on a huge piece of meat…
Do you think you could massage men for a living?
What do you mean?
I mean, you do this so well. It gets me so high and I feel so good. Do you think you would enjoy seeing all types of different sizes? Big, small, huge, hairy, shaved?
Yea, that would be hot.
What if we moved to Vegas and you opened your own massage parlor, do you think you’d still take care of me every day?
Yea…
Would you enjoy pleasing men for a living?
Yea…
What would you do to strangers?
At this point, I decided to stroke my husband in the exact same manner I would talk about in my story.
The first guy comes in and I hand him a towel and I put him in a room.
What does he look like?
He is a trucker, white, kind of short and balding. A bit chubby. I can see his hairy chest at the collar of his shirt, so I know he is going to have pepper grey body hair. Not that handsome, but not hideous.
Do you want to see his dick?
Oh yes, I want to see all my clients’ dicks. No matter how they look. Seeing a man’s penis is sexy because it’s like finding the last piece to a puzzle. No matter how they look, you can be surprised by how different their dick is.
Was you surprised with this guy?
I don’t know yet…
I go into the room and he has nothing but a towel on. We are in Vegas so we both know he is there for me to rub his dick. As I talk, I take off my shirt and expose my breasts. I can see the towel move, but I ignore it and ask him what type of lubrication does he want. I will do it dry, coconut oil, KY, or with a lotion.
What Creative Things Can You Do With Your Man’s Cum?
First of all, please check out our older article: 31 Days of Cum Shots. If you go to the photo gallery every single day has a story. I did various things with his cum, including letting him cum in my morning chai and sending him pictures throughout the day of me finishing him/my cup of chai. That was definitely a fun and a creative way to turn my husband on. I believe there was another day where my husband came inside me and then took a spoon to scrape up the cum that spilled out of my vagina and spoon-fed me. This was also amazing because it wasn’t just his cum, it was both of our bodies together. Very intimate and fun. Speaking of mixing body fluids, you could try a vagina cocktail.
Sometimes I will hold his cum in my mouth and he will stick his dick back into my vagina and start fucking me again. He is multi-orgasmic. The whole time he fucks me, he is looking down at me while I play with his cum in my mouth. Exactly as he orgasms the second time I will open my mouth and let him see me swallow his first load…
For me, my man’s semen is like icing on the cake (or cookie), semi-literally speaking. Every time we have sex, getting to see my husband orgasm is my goal. I work just as hard to make him cum (dirty talk, moving in sync with him, etc.) as he does to please me. With that being said, I feel satisfied knowing that I’ve made his hot juices flow from his dick. And that is such a turn on to me.
What I do to his cum doesn’t start when it comes out – it starts long before. When his dick is in me, I cup his balls and rub under them and tell him, “Let me massage the cum out of your balls.” I tease him. I talk about his balls as if they’re also being fucked. What I do to his cum starts BEFORE the actual orgasm.
Sometimes I stick my finger inside his anus and rub his prostate. If you haven’t tried this, try it! Right before he ejaculates you can literally feel his whole prostate swell up and harden. The cum stays inside this beautiful walnut inside his anus, and you can massage it the entire time he releases. In fact, he will release much more cum when you do this. And more cum means more to play with!
Sometimes he will ask me to keep his cum in my mouth as he heads out to work. He will let me know he is going to call me once he is on the road and tell me when to swallow. So when he calls, I can barely talk because his cum and my saliva have really built up…
Try using his first cum shot as lube for anal!
But it doesn’t stop there. After he cums, that is something entirely different. If he cums in my vagina or ass, there isn’t much I can do with it except to tell him to unload every drop in me or say, “Empty your balls out inside me.” There have been times where he will pull out as he is fucking me and cum on my anus. He will then use his own semen as lube for anal sex and fuck me again. This actually feels amazing because there is nothing close to using actual semen as lubrication. It nearly takes away all friction and makes for an extremely pleasurable experience.
Sometimes he will just cum inside me and clean my insides with his tongue. We will kiss afterwards and make out with our juices everywhere. If he cums on me, I get to put on a show. I love him watching me when I clean myself up. I will scoop his cum off my body with my fingers and lick them clean as if I’m getting the last bit of angel food cake batter out from between my fingers. As I lick, I will look him in the eyes and say “yum” with every slurp. I like to reassure him that I love his taste and that his sperm is my favorite spice. If he cums directly on my vagina, I’ll rub him into my labia and inner thighs. When I am done, I will lick my fingers clean. One of my favorite things to do to force him in my mouth so he doesn’t shoot all over the place and catch all of his cum in my mouth. I know this is simple, but nothing feels better than getting semen straight from a man’s dick. I don’t want any salt from my body, I want it pure. Straight from the source. That way nothing is wasted. Before I actually swallow, l blow bubbles, gargle, or slurp it between my lips so he can watch me play with him.
Sometimes he will ask me to keep his cum in my mouth as he heads out to work. He will let me know he is going to call me once he is on the road and tell me when to swallow. So when he calls, I can barely talk because his cum and my saliva have really built up. But it’s actually pretty sexy and intimate. To know he is in my mouth and I am waiting for him to call me and tell me to swallow while he is driving to work. You have to be creative. Sometimes I will hold his cum in my mouth and he will stick his dick back into my vagina and start fucking me again. The whole time he fucks me, he is looking down at me while I play with his cum in my mouth. My husband is multi-orgasmic. Exactly as he orgasms the second time I will open my mouth and let him see me swallow his first load. For me, it’s almost like being came in twice at the same time. It’s very intimate and exotic because I can taste his load go down my throat as I feel his penis releasing another load inside my pussy. As he orgasms, instead of his eyes rolling back or him losing focus, he is paying close attention to everything I am doing with his cum in my mouth and his load. His second orgasm is purely based off the excitement of what I am doing to his first. And if you do everything perfect, you may even get a third load in your ass, which we call a “triple threat.” It’s a very fun and powerful feeling. Imagine in a matter of seconds, swallowing a mouthful of cum as you feel a penis twitching inside your vagina. Moments later, you feel your ass being stretched as he nearly dry heaves a third load into your body. And when it’s all over, you hadn’t slept with three men or made a porn, you just satisfied the man of your dreams.
Perfect.
Instead of swallowing, I let him look down in my cum filled mouth and stick his dick back down my throat. In other words, his cum becomes my throat lube as he fucks my mouth for a second time.
Just recently, I discovered a new kind of cum play that really drives my husband wild (The first time we ever did it is actually in the article previously mentioned, you can see the story here: January 8, 2013 Cum Shot). We start out face-fucking, and as you may or may not know, when a man cums and his dick is plunged deep into your throat, the semen goes straight down and you cannot taste or feel anything. But here is the twist: instead of being all the way in me when he cums, he will pull out of my throat and fill my mouth up with his first huge cum shot. Instead of swallowing, I let him look down in my cum filled mouth and stick his dick back down my throat. In other words, his cum becomes my throat lube as he fucks my mouth a second time. I absolutely do not swallow to make sure his whole cum shot covers his dick as he again fucks my throat. After a few seconds, I can feel his hard wet dick drive so deep in my throat his ball piercing and crotch grinds into my teeth. This time, instead of pulling out, he unloads his second cumshot deep in my throat, I can feel his urethra pipe on the underside of his shaft twitching on my tongue and his balls spasming on my lips. I can also watch as anus tighten and loosen with each release. Afterwards, the semen from both the first and second orgasms are pushed down my slippery, well-lubed throat. It can get sloppy from my spit, cum, and tears, but it’s extremely hot, submissive, and downright sexy!
There is so much more you can do with your man’s cum if you really wanted to go above and beyond. Attitude is everything and a paid porn star eating her co-star’s cum off an ice cream sandwich shouldn’t be able to out perform you. Is money more powerful than love? For me, it’s not. I will proudly do anything with Ryan’s cum, including the most insane ideas I can come up with, like sniffing his whole cum shot off a mirror.
Let him cum onto a mirror. If you want to be cute, take a credit card and shape his ropes into a long line. Glide your nose across the mirror and sniff his cum like he is a drug. If you do it right, you can open your mouth when you are done and show him all the cum you just sniffed. And then swallow him as well….
Other Creative Things Can You Do With Your Man’s Cum
Cum popsicle or sperm ice cubes
Simply ejaculate your man into a shot glass and add kool-aid or water to the glass. Put a small toothpick through a small piece of paper that you lay on top of the shot glass (so it stays centered) and put the shot glass in the freezer. After a few hours, you can either use the sperm ice cube in an adult drink and enjoy your man later, or let him use the ice cube on your nipples and vagina as foreplay the next time you want to spice things up. If you want to get extremely creative, mix his cum with water and make an ice dildo.
Cum Lube
Much like the previous idea, save his semen in the freezer so you can use it later. Rather than leaving it ice, warm it up to use as lube. No, his semen will not go bad. There is nothing on earth that is a better lube than his semen. It’s what all lubes try to emulate. Whether it be for a night you plan anal, an intense vaginal session, or just a sexy hand job. Or if you want to get real nasty, pour his warmed semen all over his penis and give him a blow job. Much like my stories above, you can blow his mind tasting his cum the entire time his new orgasm builds. If he is multi orgasmic, you can do this in a single sitting. If he is not, simply have him cum into a shot glass and let him know you want to save it for later. Trust me, he will let you.
Cum Shots
Great idea, especially if you both are already drinking and get a bit horny. You can turn it into a game if you like. If you can make him cum faster than 10 minutes, he has to take the shot. If you can’t, you have to take it. Either way, it’s fun.
Just go down on him and give him a blow job. Make sure you have a shot glass handy. When he is about to cum, stroke him off into the shot glass. Add some rum and take the shot. And that’s a whole other type of cum shot.
Sniffing His Cum Off A Mirror Like A Drug
Let him cum onto a mirror. If you want to be cute, take a credit card and shape his ropes into a long line. Glide your nose across the mirror and sniff his cum like he is a drug. If you do it right, you can open your mouth when you are done and show him all the cum you just sniffed. Yes, you can actually hack it up from the back of your throat back into your mouth. And then swallow him. For me, this clears my sinuses. And surprisingly, no it doesn’t burn.
Cum Cocktail / Sex Cocktail Inside Your Vagina
This one is a bit extreme, but we enjoy it. We called it a sex cocktail because it deals with a lot more than just cum. However, cum is an ingredient. First you give each other oral sex. Make sure you give him extremely sloppy head so his entire shaft has that deep saliva, that only comes up when you gag all over him. This is your lube and a key ingredient to your sex cocktail. He should also eat your pussy and make sure he digs his tongue up into your hole. You also want to be as sloppy as possible. You can also both spit on his during sex to make sure you have enough saliva ingredient inside you. This is optional, but if you squirt or can control your urine, pee a little and let him do the same. I will squirt throughout the session to make sure I add my flavor. My husband has a bit of trouble peeing while erect, so he will stop and concentrate for a few moments and just fill me up with his urine. At this point, it’s a mess. He will then stick his dick back inside me and fuck me until we both cum. At the end of the session, we should have double saliva, double urine, double cum, and my vagina totally full of all this flavor. I will get up and we will 69 each other. I get to taste myself on his dick, he gets to drink the cocktail out of my body.
This isn’t everything you can do with a sex cocktail, but we will save the Bloody Mary version for a different day.
Cum Seasoning
The taste of his cum on your meal will not ruin the flavor. Depending on what you are eating, you won’t even be able to taste it. What it will do is elevate how much your man loves you and thinks about you. Take a serving of his cum, throw it in with an ego, fry it. Scrambled eggs and sperm. Maybe even throw some ketchup on it if you want to get crazy!
Don’t forget to ask him if he would like to try it himself.
Even on his worse day, if you left him for whatever reason, he’d always remember this type of thing and know you were one of the wildest women he has ever been with. Goals right? For some of us ladies who actually do enjoy the flavor, it just makes our food better. Win, win.
Coffee and Cream, A Long Day At Work and Selfies
I’ve used my husband’s cum inside my coffee for cream a lot. The catch here isn’t just that you worship his cum enough to enjoy it all throughout your work day, but you also send selfies of yourself drinking the coffee. Your man loves watching you swallow him right? So how about he watches you drink an entire coffee, for a span of 4 hours, slowly swallowing him and your morning coffee. This is something we did as one of my 31 days of swallowing cum years ago. But it was so fun I still do it every now and then just to tease him.
Sexy right?
Facetime
So all these cool things we have done with our cum in this blog but I haven’t even said one of the most basic ideas. The classic facial. Sexy huh? Well, how about you save his cum one morning and store it however you like. Whether it be plastic bag, a sippy cup, or whatever tickles your fantasy. Later in the day, call your husband while he is at work on Facetime and give him some…well, face time. Let him know you have his morning cum and let him watch you drip it down onto your face and mouth for him to watch. Chances are, no woman has ever done anything like this for him in his life. Well, be that woman.
Ladies, this is about making memories. Do you think he will ever forget the time you called him at work over Facetime and gave yourself a facial with his morning cum 8 hours later? Of course he won’t. Imagine the possibilities of a long distance relationship and saving his cum during a visit, so when back home you can turn him on again, while also enjoying him when you miss him the most.
If you want to be even more creative, there are a lot of new toys where you can play with each other long distance. Most of these toys use your phone to function. So while he uses his phone to make your vibrator vibrate to his touch, wouldn’t it be nice to have some of his cum saved to use as lube/drip on your lips/swallow while he watches you cum for him over Facetime?
Lesbian Play with a BBW / Big Black Woman, My Co Worker
The Dirty Talk Intro & Disclaimer: Everything in the story below is random and created on the spot while massaging and giving a handjob to my husband. No filters, no rules, no boundaries; just a story and situation created to help my husband orgasm and enjoy our experience together. We do this for intimacy and find handjobs less destructive on our bodies than having sex daily (our bodies just can’t handle penetrative sex each day). All dirty talk is usually pure fantasy. I use this dirty talk as a form of mental porn for my husband while he is in a vulnerable state due to being touched and massaged. Sexual intimacy can also help reduce feelings of anxiety and depression as it triggers the release of three mood-boosting chemicals — dopamine, endorphins and oxytocin. I usually also get really wet because my own naughty thoughts push my own personal boundaries and really turn me on. This is why it’s so fun. Unlike giving a blowjob or going through the theatrics of sex, you both connect thoughts together and create sexual stories in the heat of the moment. He trusts me and we both love this natural vulnerability. I can almost get inside his head and control his fantasies, dirty thoughts, and talk him into an orgasm in the exact moment my story hits it’s climax. During my stories he will ask me questions while I talk. I will include these to the best of my memory. In fact, every story is to the best of my memory, as I do not know remember all the exact details.
Dirty Talk: Lesbian Play with a BBW / Big Black Woman, My Co Worker
I lay my husband down in bed and we talk for about 10 to 20 minutes while I rub his penis. This is a routine for us, so it will eventually lead to dirty talk and me giving him a massage. It’s after work, so this is a good release for him, and a good time for me to have him wrapped around my finger for the rest of the night.
I am actually dressed up in lingerie because we were supposed to do a photo shoot as I massaged him. Somewhere along the lines, our plans changed and we decided to go over a story I once told him about wanting to fuck a female co-worker that was always nice to me. Truth be told, any woman that treats me kindly, regardless of physical attraction, I find myself wanting to explore her. I care more about a woman that treat me nicely, than the typical Barbie characteristics.
My co-worker’s name is Cherice. She is a thick black woman that smells and dresses nicely. She is always smiling and she is extremely friendly. This is the type of woman I’d love to explore. She is also perfect for a story to make my husband orgasm.
so how did you flirt with her?
I just asked her if she would like to have lunch. Although I have lunch with various co-workers, I had never asked her before. She smiled and said sure. I offered to pay. She let me know that since I was paying we will take her car.
As we are driving to the restaurant, I start fanning my Barbie doll dress to get air up my crotch and thighs. She asks me if I am hot. I nod and continue to fan, exposing most of my thighs to her. I assume, my perfume and body spray aroma is spreading throughout the car. The air is literally blowing into my crotch, up my neck hole, and out into the air she is breathing. I can see her watching my legs and glancing up at me to see if I mind her looking. I don’t.
what do you do?
I just smile.
what are you guys wearing?
We are both in skirts, hers longer than mine. I am in a Barbie doll dress. She is in a longer skirt with long sleeves. But it still hugs her body.
do you make a move on her?
Yes, I compliment her legs while she is driving and reach over and touch her leg. Innocently, I slightly push her skirt up and rub her knee. I let her know her legs feel so smooth.
what does she do?
She is nervous. But she doesn’t move or respond negatively so I continue to slide my hand up her leg. I can see her squeezing the steering wheel. I can tell she doesn’t know what I am doing, but doesn’t want me to stop. I continue to lift her dress as I slide my hand up her inner thigh. She gasps as I get to her panties. She still hasn’t said a word to me. I am now rubbing her crotch, careful as to make sure she doesn’t want me to stop.
how do you know?
I am watching her face and eyes. She is turned on but doesn’t know how to react appropriately. I may be the first girl that has ever touched her.
Her legs are thick so I can’t get down to deep in her lip area, so I instead rub her pubic hair, maybe around her clit area. I am doing this over her panties, so the feeling of the thick cotton in the crotch keeps me from feeling too much.
As I work my hand deeper down her thighs, I can feel the warmth. Her crotch is also starting to lather. I can feel she is starting to leak through through her panties.
do you work your hand inside her panties?
No. I take my hand away from her crotch to see if she wants this to go further. I slide my dress up so she can see my panties.
what color are they?
They are pink.
She looks over but still doesn’t say anything. I rub my own pussy and am soaking wet. I slide my panties down off my hips so I can show her the inner crotch of my panties. They are actually soaking wet.
did I fuck you or cum in your mouth before work that morning?
You fucked me.
so your panties also have my old cum?
Yes, I am leaking your cum from the morning and my own juices from being so turned on by being able to touch her vagina.
As we pull back up to the office, I slide my soaking panties off and put them in my purse. We walk back to the office and don’t say anything. We wait in front of the elevator, holding our salads. As the elevator door closes behind us, she slowly reaches over and touches my ass.
does she put her hand up your skirt?
No. She doesn’t lift my skirt, she just rubs my ass to let me know she wants more.
We get into my office and I close my door. I lay her down on my floor and pull her panties down. She is so moist. I start eating her out.
wait…
What?
not so fast
I just want to eat her out.
Tell me about her first. What does her pussy look like?
Her pussy has about a weeks worth of hair, so its trimmed but you can see growth. Her pussy lips are thick and dark, much darker than her actual skin. Her crotch smells like warmth, a long day, and sweat. Not her insides, just around her crotch. She is thick and her body has more of an odor than mine, but it really turns me on. I slide my tongue over her lips.
does eating pussy turn you on more than getting your pussy ate?
Yes. I love going down on a woman.
why?
I like to see what a woman smells like, what her vagina looks like, what she tastes like.
are you happy experiencing all this with her?
I love it. Her pussy is so good. She is so nice to me. I am so glad I get to please her.
I tease her rubbing my tongue over her clit and lips. She is moaning and I can tell she wants me to stick my tongue inside her. She wants to feel me taste her. I push my tongue in her as far as I can, she gasps and moans. I taste all of her insides.
I then move my mouth up to her clit, happy with tasting her enough to satisfy my curious urges. I suck on her clit as I stick the tip of my finger in her hole. I can tell she wants me to fuck her.
how can you tell?
At this point, I am stroking my husband hard. I make sure my hands get tight as I get closer to telling him about how I am going to make her cum. He is asking me questions, but his mumbles are getting quieter and I am in his head, creating the imagery her is going cum too.
It’s just something about the way she is moving her body down onto my hand. She wants me to shove my fingers inside her. I oblige and go deep enough to feel for her cervix. I feel her little bump and circle my finger around her cervix. I lick and suck her clit and can tell she is about to cum. Her vagina tightens around my finger and she raises her body off the ground. She bites her lip and holds her breath. Because we are in the office, she doesn’t make a sound. But I can see her veins in her neck protruding as she strains from her orgasm. I can feel her body and lips spasming. She came so fast. She must not have had her pussy ate out in months, maybe even years. She was so ready.
do you want to pull up her panties and let her leave?
No, I want my pussy ate.
He is so close to cumming he wanted to cum but didn’t know if I wanted to go deeper into my story, so he could cum with me. I can tell by his erection, he is on edge and can barely hold back.
okay, tell me more…
I tell her I want her to eat my pussy. She tells me she has never ate a pussy or seen another woman nude. I lift my dress up and put my pussy over her face. I can tell she loves seeing another woman’s vagina. She touches it in a way she just wants to feel the texture. It’s too bad I am so wet, because as she touches it, I can see my sticky froth drip down onto her face. I have a line of clear froth and your old cum stuck from my labia, to the side of her cheek. She starts rubbing my pussy harder and puts her mouth up to my body….
At this point, my story stops. My husband is now cumming. He reaches up to grab my head and puts my mouth over his penis. I can fee his aggression as he holds me down on his dick until he is done shooting inside my throat. Usually when I am done I will lean back and open my mouth so he can see his cum in my mouth. I will then play with his cum while he watches before I swallow. However, today he quickly asks me if I wanted to cum. I swallow and nod yes. My orgasms are not necessary, but after a dirty story, I usually always need to release. He knows this. I nod and let him know I would like to cum. I grab my toy and lay off to the side of him. His dick isn’t totally erect anymore, but it’s still hard enough to slide inside my body. This is when his dick is at its thickest and stretches me the most. I grab my wand and put it against my pussy. My husband whispers, “Do you love pussy more than you love dick?”
I nod. I do. I love pussy more than I love dick. But I love him more than I love pussy.
For other couples, it’s totally okay to dive into things you may never want to really experience, with your minds. We read this a lot on relationship forums. Sometimes it creates mixed signals, sometimes it creates insecurities. So talk to your partner, let them know a fantasy is just a fantasy, and assure them it will never go beyond that. This will help everyone open up and dig into their heads further than they ever have. Or at least out loud.
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Drunk Sex – Enthusiasm
The Secret To Keeping Your Vagina Clean
I did unfold the instructions that came with the box and saw a crude caricature of a woman with one leg up at a 90 degree angle. In the next frame was the douche bottle headed right for the opening between her legs. What’s she doing that for? I thought. Does the water stay in there? What comes out? My six-year-old mind couldn’t even comprehend, and I don’t even think I asked my mom what she did with that bottle.
Opening My Own Massage Parlor with Happy Endings
What Creative Things Can You Do With Your Man’s Cum?
Sometimes he will ask me to keep his cum in my mouth as he heads out to work. He will let me know he is going to call me once he is on the road and tell me when to swallow. So when he calls, I can barely talk because his cum and my saliva have really built up. But it’s actually pretty sexy and intimate. To know he is in my mouth and I am waiting for him to call me and tell me to swallow while he is driving to work. You have to be creative. Sometimes I will hold his cum in my mouth and he will stick his dick back into my vagina and start fucking me again. The whole time he fucks me, he is looking down at me while I play with his cum in my mouth. My husband is multi-orgasmic. Exactly as he orgasms the second time I will open my mouth and let him see me swallow his first load. For me, it’s almost like being came in twice at the same time. It’s very intimate and exotic because I can taste his load go down my throat as I feel his penis releasing another load inside my pussy. As he orgasms, instead of his eyes rolling back or him losing focus, he is paying close attention to everything I am doing with his cum in my mouth and his load. His second orgasm is purely based off the excitement of what I am doing to his first. And if you do everything perfect, you may even get a third load in your ass, which we call a “
Sniffing His Cum Off A Mirror Like A Drug
Facetime
Dirty Talk: Lesbian Play with a BBW / Big Black Woman, My Co Worker
Her pussy has about a weeks worth of hair, so its trimmed but you can see growth. Her pussy lips are thick and dark, much darker than her actual skin. Her crotch smells like warmth, a long day, and sweat. Not her insides, just around her crotch. She is thick and her body has more of an odor than mine, but it really turns me on. I slide my tongue over her lips. 
I tease her rubbing my tongue over her clit and lips. She is moaning and I can tell she wants me to stick my tongue inside her. She wants to feel me taste her. I push my tongue in her as far as I can, she gasps and moans. I taste all of her insides.
I tell her I want her to eat my pussy. She tells me she has never ate a pussy or seen another woman nude. I lift my dress up and put my pussy over her face. I can tell she loves seeing another woman’s vagina. She touches it in a way she just wants to feel the texture. It’s too bad I am so wet, because as she touches it, I can see my sticky froth drip down onto her face. I have a line of clear froth and your old cum stuck from my labia, to the side of her cheek. She starts rubbing my pussy harder and puts her mouth up to my body….