Q&A: My wife asked me not to cum in her. Is this okay?

nocumJohn via the internet

Hello Venice and Ryan.    I guess my email isn’t really a question but I just want some sort of confirmation that I have the right to be mad and upset.  My wife, who is on birth control, was having sex with me about 2 months ago and said, “Please do not cum in me, it feels gross.”  I immediately stopped having sex because I was pissed  and left the room.  The next time we had sex, she said the same thing again.  This time I didn’t really want to stop though, so I pulled out and came on her.  Since then,  I have had sex a few more times and I have had to either pull out and cum in my own hand or on top of her stomach.  If I cum on her stomach she makes sounds like, “Ehhhhhh”.  Is this normal?  Do I have a right to be pissed off? 

By the way, I have been married for 8 years and up until a few months ago, I have always came inside her and she never showed any signs of being grossed out by my cum.  

Venice’s response:

Yes, you have a right to be pissed off!  After eight years of marriage you would think that she would be used to seeing, feeling, and tasting your cum.

My feeling towards Ryan’s cum is this: I love it.  I don’t want to see it wadded on a piece of toilet paper to be flushed down the toilet when I can have it in my mouth or being absorbed in my pussy or ass.  I don’t want to see it on the floor or the table or the stairs (yes, it’s been to all those places before).  His cum is not his, it’s mine.  Even after I’ve drained him dry and his balls are already creating more juice for me, it’s all mine.  His cum represents life, my love for him, his most sacred fluid and I am the only person in the world who can have it.  No one can make it shoot from his body except for me.  If he wanted to jack off (and I make sure he cums once a day minimum) and cum, he has to get permission from me or I feel totally disrespected.  I changed my whole attitude towards his cum, but with that, I would now be upset if he wastes it or makes it less special than my mind has made it.  That’s the difference between me not caring where he cums, to now caring, so I want to be a part of his orgasms, always.  If he makes his cum unimportant or something he can just jack off by himself and wipe on an old napkin, then why the hell should I think it’s special and want it in me?   I choose where it goes in my body.  I love the taste, the warmth of it as it leaves his body and shoots onto me.  If it’s on my face, I wipe it clean and lick my fingers.  I feel lucky to be the only person with whom he can share the vulnerable moment when his semen leaves his body. Taking his cum in me is just one way for me to show that I love him.

To hear that your wife doesn’t want it in her pisses me off.  That is the most extreme opposite of how I feel.  I know for a fact that a man loves to see his woman take his cum and swallow it, play with it, rub it on herself, and just enjoy his hot load as it squirts out.  Just like in porn, the final scene is always the cum scene because it’s the perfect way to end a sex session.  She’ll either swallow it, rub it on her tits, or play with it in her mouth.  That’s what men look for.  If your wife can’t do what emotionless adult stars can do, there is something wrong with her.  Husbands and wives should not only love each others’ flaws, bodies, and bad habits, but also the juices made during sex.  After eight years she suddenly wants you to stop showing her your cum?  That doesn’t add up. Something is wrong on her end and the “no cum” attitude is just the starting point.  Don’t let it turn into resentment and hate because that’s where it’s heading.

Ryan’s response:

Yes, you have the right to be pissed off.  That is insane.   I do not agree with the following either, but I can at least understand why a woman wouldn’t swallow.   Sometimes mentally, a taste and texture can just make a person gag or absolutely not want something in their  mouth, and although I disagree (grow up and get over it), I get it.   However, to request that she doesn’t want you to cum inside her vagina because it feels gross  is just an absolute slap to the face.  Unless she is off birth control and worried she may get pregnant, that is just flat out unacceptable in my opinion.   I’d go as far as to say, that is a red flag for the beginning of a divorce, being out of love, and/or her being unfaithful.  A person who begins to bond with someone else will turn their loyalty against you, just to show the other person they are now loyal to them.    Not letting you cum inside her would be a huge loyalty move/ease guilt with her new prospect.   This may be a huge assumption but the least you can do is check up on things and make sure you are still the only person on her radar.   Cum doesn’t get gross 8 years later, especially when cum inside the vagina is as old as people exist.   She is alive because of that “gross” act.

Your cum is an extension of your body and manhood, to be told it’s gross is equivalent to you saying to her, “Can you please put this bag on your head while we have sex, you gross me out.  In fact, keep it on all day and only take it off when I am not around.  I do not want to be reminded that I actually sleep with you.”

Dumb right?   Look into your relationship.  If you are messing up and have stopped giving her the attention she needs, make those changes.   Something isn’t right.  A woman in love wants her man inside her.  In fact, I’d say a woman truly in love wants her man’s fluids inside her, just as much as she wants to kiss him deeply and share saliva, hold hands, look into his eyes, and cuddle him all night so every germ on his body becomes part of her.  Not to mention it goes against every instinct in our bones.  I know people use protection and condoms, but in this case, it isn’t about that.  She called your sperm gross inside her.  EIther she is the most insensitive woman on earth or something is up.

Q&A: Is My Penis Size Too Small For Her and Does Size Matter?

 

toosmall1

Heath from New York 

Hello Venice and Ryan, I have been following your blog for a while.  I absolutely love watching your deepthroat videos, but that is partially my question I guess.  I noticed in an old article Venice wrote that she mentioned some women are not deepthroating if their men are not long enough to reach the back of their throat.  I also noticed that Venice seems to be happy about the fact she “really” deepthroats.   Not that there is anything wrong with that, but let’s say Ryan wasn’t that big, would you still be just as satisfied with him or yourself?

I didn’t write you guys for that though, I just figured it would be a good way to bring up my situation.  

My fiancee has admitted to me  that she has had a few boyfriends before me that were “probably” larger than me.  She also was previously married to a man for over 5 years that she said was so huge she didn’t enjoy sex unless he took his time.   I never got the exact details on any of their sizes, but it was obvious with the way she acted that they were much larger than me.  Don’t get me wrong, she didn’t just volunteer this information to hurt me, I kind of pushed the issue and was determined to find out more about the woman I love and want to marry.  I always asked her, “Does size matter?” and she would respond with, “Absolutely not.”   Now, with this new information, I am just unsure I satisfy her.  I talked with her about this and she said that I am perfect for her.  However, last year, before I knew all this,  she bought me some ExtenZe pills.   She said she saw a commercial and thought it would be fun to try.  Wtf?   She then later said it was just a gag gift, fucking with me.  She has never openly said anything to my face about my size, and when I ask, she always says I am perfect.   Why else would you buy your boyfriend a some damn ExtenZe though?   She wants me to have a better golf stroke?

Also, another thing I remember, before we were very serious, I was walking through walmart with her and we stopped in the condom section.   I picked up the magnum XL box and she giggled and said, “Are we going to make water balloons?”   I looked at her and said, “No, I was wondering what this brand felt like.”   She laughed and said, “Loose!” then nudged me in the arm like I understood the joke.   That really hurt my feelings but I am unsure exactly what she meant. 

I always considered myself average size.  I didn’t grow up with a bunch of guys and compare dicks or anything.   I had a pretty hard life, me and my sister kind of had to survive on our own.  No father figure, no real time to sit and worry about dick sizes.   Now that I finally met someone I really care about, I didn’t realize that dick size would end up meaning so much.   Do all girls care about dick sizes?   Even though my girl says I am perfect,  I feel like deep down inside she wants more.  Is this common for guys to feel?   Do women always compare their history of dicks with their current man’s size, but never really admit it?   

Venice’s response:

 Thank you for your question and for taking the time to watch our videos.  I feel deepthroating is an art, one that many women claim they can do, one that many men claim their women can do, and is something that I hold dear to me because I worship my man’s dick.  To answer your first question, if Ryan wasn’t as big [as he is compared to himself], would I still be just as satisfied.  Yes, I would still be happy if I knew I could deepthroat a longer dick but Ryan wasn’t big enough to really deepthroat. The act itself is gratifying, knowing I can satisfy my man, knowing he is satisfied by what I do for him.  Whether or not the penis goes down your throat, to shove your face as far as you can, is still cock worshipping.   Plus, if Ryan wasn’t the size he was, I wouldn’t have ever learned to slide a dick down my throat then, because he has the only dick I ever cared about satisfying in that way.   I wouldn’t have known any different, just like I don’t know different now.  A bigger or smaller man out there means nothing to me.

I can understand your frustration at your girlfriend buying ExTenze.  It’s like putting diet pills in a woman’s purse because you want her to be as thin as your lingerie-modeling ex.  You will see it as a negative thing at first; you might think she is comparing you to her exes.  But at least she’s not running back to them for the dick.  She wants to experience it with you, to give you what she knows her ex has, but does not want the PERSON.
 
About the condom incident, that was just rude.  Your girlfriend should never make you feel uncomfortable with body issues you have little to no control over, especially because she made it obvious that she has had bigger.  No, all girls do not care about dick sizes.  I have absolutely no desire for another dick, smaller, bigger, wider…whatever.  I love my man’s dick, but love the person who it’s attached to even more.  But the way your girlfriend jokes about it makes her sound insensitive to your feelings.  Pick a part of her body that she doesn’t like and make a joke about it.  I guarantee you’ll be in the doghouse for a week.  But that is partially where the problem lies, if she has no clue that it hurts your feelings, why haven’t you told her?  Your jealous and insecurities will tear your apart if, especially if she can be a part of the solution.

Ryan’s response:

 Is it common for guys to feel this way?  Yes.  Is it dumb to waste your time feeling that way?  Yes.  Big, small, skinny, fat, you have what you have.  You can sit there all day like a grown version of Pinocchio and wish to be a real man until a fairy comes along and grants your wish and gives you a huge cock, or you can go out and act like a real man because that’s what you are, regardless of where you stand on a dick size chart. 

In my opinion you seem to care more about your dick size than her.  Her joke, although stupid and insensitive, shows she probably doesn’t give two fucks about dick size.   She wouldn’t have made the joke if her life evolved around the idea of dick size is important.  She divorced a guy with a huge dick, because he was probably a huge dick.  She left all her hung  ex-boyfriends you seem so concerned about, and then ended up agreeing to marry you.   Obviously these big dicks aren’t that great.   If she cared so much about size, why didn’t she stay with her last husband?   Maybe instead of asking her how long his dick was, you should have asked how long he treated her with respect.   You asked her the sizes of her ex-boyfriends and you got your answer.   You want to be her biggest man?   Then be the man that makes her happy the longest.  Show her you have the biggest heart.  And also, show her  confidence.  Why be this great guy she decided to marry and end up being a half man-boy because you feel insecure about your penis size?   Why give so much weight to these assholes in her past because they were born with a longer piece of meat that hangs between their legs.  Forget her ex’s and forget their dicks.  She probably already would have if you didn’t ask her about it.

And if you think she still compares dicks in her mind each time she sees your penis, then go ahead and ask her which dick meant/means the most to her.  Ask her which dick made/makes her the most happy.   Ask her which dick matters?  If she doesn’t answer all those questions with, “YOU YOU YOU” immediately, then you chose the wrong girl to get engaged with. 

Does size matter?  Yes, to ex girlfriends, women who write blogs and need to entertain their following by naming their ex’s by their penis description (very common — also falls under ex girlfriends), and by women who you’ve dumped for being shallow.  Oh, that is also ex girlfriends.  When in love, and I mean truly in love, a real woman adores her man in every way…. penis size included.   

My Nipple Piercings: The Healing Experience

It’s been about two months since I got both my nipples pierced.  I had a few concerns before I got them done because I’ve had serious problems with piercings before.  But I knew that I could take them out if that same problem occurred again.  Then I worried that I would lose sensitivity in my nipples whether I healed properly or not.  But the deciding factors that led me to piercing them in the first place was that the piercings represented my sexual awakening, the freakiness that had been lying dormant in me, and the new way of life I was ready to lead with Ryan.  Not to mention they looked good in pictures.

The aftercare instructions included three daily salt cleanings followed by each nipple being submerged in the salt water for a minimum of 30 seconds.  Being the paranoid person I am, I soaked for five minutes minimum.  I watched closely for pus, drainage, crust, or any signs of infection with a fever being the worst.  For the first month, if I went a day without cleaning, a little bit of crust would form.  I panicked; that was something all too familiar to me.  But even now, I still do the salt rinses and soaks, although only twice, sometimes even once, a day.  My fear of infection has decreased, even though my piercer said I may not be fully healed for up to one year.

For the first week, I wouldn’t let Ryan anywhere near them: no touching, no licking, no breathing on it even.  Then one night, obviously during my hypersensitive stage, he brushed his fingers on my nipples and instantly a shot raced through my body.  They were so sensitive!  Ryan let his fingertips massage the very tip of my nipple and that was all the stimulation I needed.  I was so relieved when I realized that my nipples didn’t lose their sensitivity.  He didn’t pinch and twist my nipples like he normally did, but he didn’t have to.  That night my orgasm was so intense!  I knew from that point on that my piercings weren’t going to give me any trouble when it came to cumming.  I heard that pierced nipples were much more sensitive.  But since I had them both pierced and healed at the same time, I can’t remember what they felt like during sex before they were pierced.  During my healing stage, they were definitely sensitive, but as soon as I got past this stage, the ultrasensitivity receded.

Even though I didn’t have any problems with orgasms, sensitivity, or infection, I did discover some cons along the way.  Sometimes my bra would shift during the day and my piercings would get caught in the cup.  My hair is always getting caught on one end of the piercings, pulling one side up higher.  If this happened and there was a little bit of crust, it would get pulled inside my nipple.  In my opinion, the worst of it all was fucking on my stomach.  Once I was on all fours with my hands tied behind my back and Ryan was fucking me from behind.  I had no way to stabilize myself so my nipples were getting dragged and tangled in the carpet fibers.

Since I healed better than expected, I feel certain that I may be able to get piercings in other places.  Eyebrow, cartilage…or even my clit.

Video: Swallowing Cum While Deepthroating

It’s not easy recording video when you have just two people.  No matter what we try, we end up with footage we don’t really like.   Or, one of us likes and the other doesn’t.   Either way, we originally decided to do a video of a cumshot while I deepthroat because of all the different requests.  Well, we tried.    “Swallowing Cum While Deepthroating”

We are much better at taking photos. 🙂

In a perfect world, Ryan’s cum would have shot up in the air about 8 feet and dripped down his dick on the same side the camera can see so everyone knows he is cumming.  I would then engulf his penis with my throat and let the world watch his balls twitch while cum drips out of my mouth and/or nose.  Yes, having his cum drip out my nose would be an amazing shot!

 

The reality is, the first cumshot didn’t fly up 8 feet and instead nicely poured out behind the penis so the camera does not pick it up.  Other than some nice bubbles of cum at the base of his penis as I shove his cock down as far as I can (watch closely), it just looks like I am deepthroating.   However, let it be known, Ryan does cum and his entire cumshot goes down my throat.   It doesn’t come out my nose because it is down past my sinuses.    I suppose this is a compliment for him, because I’d assume through my own experience and throat anatomy, a slightly shorter penis (that can make it down the throat, but not far enough to pass the sinus area) would launch out a cumshot and it would fly up into my sinus area (and then out my nasal passage — my nose).  I know this feeling because as I deepthroat, I do get a build up of saliva that will shoot up my sinus area and cause me to get a runny nose.   In other words, I get how a cumshot can end up being a snot rocket.  Wow, these videos can end up being great deepthroat anatomy lessons.  Ha.

“Today class, I will explain how cum snot rockets are formed.”

I assume we will be the only website that ever pops up if anyone was to magically google the term “cum snot rocket.”  Haha.

Anyway, Ryan’s sperm doesn’t stay on the back of my tongue, doesn’t drip back up my throat, down the back of my mouth, and out onto his balls, and unfortunately for the viewers, doesn’t shoot out my nose.   I absolutely taste or feeling nothing.   He cums and it goes directly to my stomach.  This is how that works, so anyone requesting a cumshot while I deepthroat, it’s not the most action-packed video.

For the man though, I’ve heard it feels absolutely amazing.  I believe my mouth can get lower on the cock than even a vagina can, because unlike sex with a vagina where her thighs and his hips stop a man’s body from getting absolute balls deep, a mouth and a deepthroat can keep going.  Ryan has said he can feel the tightness of my mouth deep on his balls, and only my mouth gives him this feeling.

Enjoy the video.  Sorry if it falls short on expectations.

My other deepthroat topics & videos (from how I learned to deepthroating while he urinates):

My Introduction To Deepthroating

Learning To Deepthroat With Video

Deepthroating A Dildo The Size Of My Forearm Video

Deepthroating While He Pees Down My Throat At The Same Time With Gifs