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March 23, 2015

Random Moments: Steak And BJ Day

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steakandbjSo I woke up on March 14 feeling amazing.  I knew from twitter hashtags and other social media outlets that today was Steak and BJ Day.  Ah yes, the day where I get to lay back and do nothing but let my penis poke towards the ceiling so Venice could admire it.   I look over to Venice laying next to me and grab her wrist so I can guide her hand to my hard penis.  I was smiling at her as she grabbed my manhood and kind of winked a little bit.  She made a happy expression as she touched me but quickly changed her look and asked why I was smiling so much.  I laughed a bit and said, “Well, today is Steak and BJ Day and I’m already doing my part.”

She looked back at me and responded, “What’s that supposed to mean to me?”  She continued to stroke my dick as she waited for my answer.

I took the smile off my face and explained, “It’s steak and bj day.  Today is my valentine.”  I smiled again and reached over to grab her head and guide her down into my lap.

She moved my hand and started negotiating with me, “I’ll tell you what, I’ll stop sucking your dick every day like I normally do, and instead give you a BJ on this so called holiday.   How does that sound?  Otherwise, I want you to take this hard dick in my hand and stick it inside my pussy and fuck me good.”

I guess that kind of put things in perspective.   Instead of getting a BJ, I got up and used my dick the way she wanted it used, and later that night I ate her homemade Chili.

I married a rebel. TAGS: steak and bj day, steak and blow job day

March 12, 2015

Random Moments – This Is How the Zombie Apocalypse Starts

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zombieI said goodbye to Ryan as I was leaving out the door, one foot not quite fully in my high heel. I turned my ankle to maneuver it in and twisted the door knob opening the door connecting the kitchen hallway to the garage. “Love you,” I called out one last time; Ryan responded with the same words. I looked up from the ground and my eyes met those of the neighborhood dog that lived about eight houses up the street. I don’t know its name, but I know this dog. Many times I’ve had to slow my car to an idle as it pranced across the street seemingly oblivious to vehicles zooming by it. At the moment, however, it was standing in the center of our garage between Ryan’s weight bench and an abandoned sugar bear cage.

I grasped the knob cautiously in one hand, unsure of whether or not I should open it further. Its tongue lolled out at the left side, its dark auburn hair matted from the heavy early a.m. mist. I stared at it for a moment longer wondering if I was staring at a real life Cujo or if the innocent dog was in there peering at me with curious eyes. I extended my arm forward, shutting the heavy door. The locking mechanism clicked in place.

My heels clicked on the tile back to the master bedroom. “There’s a dog in the garage,” I said. Ryan wasn’t sure of what to make of it, but I must have had a look of genuine concern. He acted quickly and stood up.

“Is it still there?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I shut the door on it. It’s that dog that lives at the corner house.” He opened the door and peered out. It was gone. I scanned the garage, playing a dangerous game of “Where’s Waldo, Rabid Edition.” I stepped into the garage cautiously and waited for the sound of dog paws running on pavement preparing to lunge at me. Halfway out of the garage and the dog appeared from behind my car.

“FUCK!” I mumbled. “Don’t make eye contact…DON’T MAKE EYE CONTACT!” I said out loud as if to document to Ryan that I was taking the proper precautions to avoid a savage animal vs. woman confrontation. “They can smell fear!” I said in a half-laughing, half-distressed tone.

“Hurry and get inside the car,” Ryan said in the most calm voice he could, but it just filled me with more panic. A small figure appeared from the rear of my car; the dog walked around to the driver’s side. How fast can Ryan get to me if I got attacked right now? I thought.

“Oh God!” I exclaimed. I looked at Ryan and said, “This is how the zombie apocalypse starts!” I recoiled in the safety of my car. I started engine and looked in all directions before backing up. There was no sign of the four-legged demon. I put the car in reverse and the rearview backup camera screen appeared. The dog stood there at what looked like six feet behind the car. I stepped on the brake and watched as it stood there panting, its tongue still lolling at the side. I froze, unable to curse at it or even honk the horn. It looked around before skipping off back in the direction toward its home.

I lived to fight another day.

February 23, 2015

Threesome Memoirs – Confessions

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confessionsAdult videos make threesomes seem absolutely perfect.   As with everything that gets glamorized, the actual experience isn’t as glamorous as the idea or fantasy. Below we will give our readers a few confessions that we may or may not have already talked about. Although our stories also glamorize our experiences, that isn’t this blogs intentions.

Ryan: My relationship with Venice is autistic. We aren’t understood and the decisions we make probably don’t make sense to anyone but us.  We have the outside world totally locked out.  Our inside jokes, our talks, our dislikes, and yes, even our threesomes.  The things we do bonds us closer together, but the third person becomes just an object we have totally used.  Whether to talk about after they leave, or to talk about while they are there.   Obviously we have no bad intentions to hurt them or anything, but we both like the idea of using the other person and seeing what they will do with us. When they leave, we move on with our life as if they do not exist. I find this behavior very psychopathic. However, because Venice and I do this together, it bonds us and gives our minds this, “us against the world” feeling. This is also how you maintain a successful relationship while adding other women to the bedroom. A total shutdown afterwards is important.

Venice: Threesomes aren’t as glamorous as they’re believed to be. Yes, it’s a turn on to be in it at the moment, and yes, I love being in one. But afterward, we start to recap the night and don’t feel like sex gods. And as it turns out, there were no harps playing in the background as I ate a chick out. We’re all human, we all have flaws, and we’re all imperfect.

Ryan: The idea of threesomes is better than the experiences themselves.  The freedom of having a spouse that almost becomes like a partner in crime (of passion), is liberating.  It’s like a sexual Bonnie and Clyde, where we use women together, talk dirty to them, then go back to our normal lives like it never happened afterwards.  It’s a rush and it feels invigorating.

Venice: I liked fucking the other women with strap-ons.  I liked hearing them moan when I pushed my dick in too deep.  I liked watching their walls stretch because the cock is bigger than what their bodies are used to.  I like watching the girls lips pull out and grab on to my strap-on each time I slide it out of their bodies.  I can understand why men fuck hard or enjoy hearing a woman moan and cry while being fucked. It’s exciting, dirty, and the one time in our life where we can hurt someone and not feel bad about it.

Ryan:  I am unsure how a threesome would be as a single man, but when you are in love, it’s not as amazing as you would think it is. It’s also not fair to the other women, but I guess we never planned on it being fair.  Because they are not your wife, no matter what they smell like, it isn’t going to be the same.   Too much perfume, too much sweat, too much seafood (old cum), too much (fill in the blank for various things you have smelled while with a woman for the first time).   For me, I was turned off by anything that wasn’t my wife’s natural smell.

Continue Reading Threesome Memoirs – Confessions

February 9, 2015

Our Experience: Deepthroating While He Urinates (part 2)

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Deepthroating While He Urinates (part 1)

Ryan: The next day after failing to urinate while Venice was deepthroating me, Venice sent text messages and teased me for not being able to follow through with our plan. For instance, before she left for work she would make the peeing sound as she talked, “Have a good day at work Ryan, last night was so ssssssssssssspecial.” Of course she was just teasing me but I knew I was going to pull it off the next time we tried. The conditions had to be right though. I had to make sure my bladder was empty in the afternoon so the flavor wouldn’t be so potent that night. I was going to start drinking a lot of water around mid day to make sure I felt the urine sensation as my work day ended. I also thought about the position we previously tried, her flat on her back being face fucked, and knew it wouldn’t work. I’d want to be able to pee and know the stream could go down her throat, rather than pool back up into her mouth and possibly choke her. Mainly, I had to be mentally prepared. I needed to tell myself that I would pull out quick if anything happened, Venice wasn’t going to choke, and I knew I had to relax.

As my work day came to an end I felt the pressure from my urine in my bladder growing. I knew by the time I got home I would be able to pee whether I wanted to or not. I called Venice on my drive home and let her know I wanted to try again but in the bathtub. I also needed her to help set up the camera so everything would be ready. I am unsure if I could set up the phone, put in the memory card, and do a bunch of technical things all while holding in my urine like a three-year-old child who didn’t have a potty near.

Venice: The first time I was disappointed that we didn’t get to finish the deepthroat urination. Although I was nervous, I was more excited. Experiencing these “firsts” with each other is what bonds us even closer, not to mention the memories we get to make with each other and the talks following. I was excited to get a second chance. I get home a few minutes before Ryan, so I was already undressed and ready to get started. I stood there, giddy, excited to get him hard.

Continue Reading Our Experience: Deepthroating While He Urinates (part 2)

February 2, 2015

Our Experience: Deepthroating While He Urinates (part 1)

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First of all, let’s try to make sense of the article and put this gross idea in perspective.  We know most people are not into urine play, we understand that most people think it’s disgusting, and we know that not even porn websites openly allow urine play or golden showers on their servers.  We don’t care.  Apparently we are not normal, because not only do we not think it’s gross or disgusting, we have no problem with urine and do not find it nasty or dirty. Does it taste good?  Nope.  Does it smell bad?   Nope (as long as we do not eat asparagus), not unless you think movie theater popcorn smells bad . Does it belong in the person you loves stomach? Probably not, but I will talk about that issue in more detail throughout this blog.  From Japanese soldiers fighting in World War II running out of medication and drinking their own urine to stay healthy, to the once World Champion MMA fighter, Lyoto Machida, drinking his own urine each morning to stay strong and fit.

On May 7, 1996 there was a theory published in the Theoretical Medicine Institute, that drinking your own pee may work as a “cure” for cancer.  The theory is that with cancer cell antigens in the urine, when ingested again, it will help your own immune system create antibodies and so your body may well be able to cure itself of cancer.  ~ Theoretical Medicine Institute

Does that mean Ryan and Venice are into feces or 2 girls and a cup? Absolutely not. Feces is toxic, smells, and obviously tastes like shit.  We’ve never played with feces, and that is one thing we have both talked about that just doesn’t turn us on or do anything for us.  This isn’t the first time we have discussed urine play, as in December of 2012, we shared our golden shower photo shoot and story with our blog.  However, that was far from our first experience with urine, as we have always been opened minded enough to try new things with each other throughout our entire relationship (we have a polaroid of us playing years ago — yes, a polaroid).

Continue Reading Our Experience: Deepthroating While He Urinates (part 1)