Review: 1 Night In China (Chyna & X-Pac) WWE Sex Tape

1 night in china

1 Night in China is a pornographic movie featuring professional wrestling personalities Sean Waltman and Joanie Laurer, which was released by Red Light District Video in 2004. While Waltman and Laurer were engaged at the time they filmed 1 Night in China, they broke up before it was released. Laurer has made several pornographic films since, beginning with Another Night in China in 2009, which is considered to be a sequel to 1 Night in China.

 For those of you who are not familiar with Chyna or X-Pac, they were both WWE wrestlers in the early 2000s.  Chyna was known to have a huge muscular body, while X-Pac was the only guy in the WWE that wasn’t huge and muscular.  In fact, X-Pac used to go by the name 1 2 3 Kid, because he was a small wrestler who was known for his flying arsenal rather than power moves.  Like a real freak show match up, this 1 Night in China (Chyna) is like a female Andre The Giant vs Jake “The Snake” Roberts.

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Celebrity Sex Tape Reviews: 1 Night In Paris (Paris Hilton)

Parisdvd21 Night in Paris is a 2004 pornographic video depicting Paris Hilton having sexual intercourse in 2001 with Rick Salomon. Not originally intended for release, it was filmed primarily with a single, stationary, tripod-mounted camera using “night vision.” However, a handful of scenes were filmed indoors without night vision.

Continue Reading Celebrity Sex Tape Reviews: 1 Night In Paris (Paris Hilton)

Celebrity Sex Tape: Our Thoughts and Reviews

untitled2Two things that pique our most primal instincts: watching people fuck or fight.  Let’s cut to the chase – people enjoy celebrity sex tapes because they are watching celebrities fuck.   It’s a small window of opportunity to look inside the lives of famous people and see how they do the dirty deed.  Most of the time, our minds build these people up into super humans; famous and able to do things we can only imagine.  However, seeing them fuck brings them right back down to earth.  We love that. Money and fame can’t make a celebrity’s sex life any better than Mary Joe and Billy Bob in the trailer park.  Money didn’t make his dick big, didn’t make his female partner fly around the bed room and land on his cock after 8 flips and a somersault, and it didn’t make his orgasm any different from our own.  Good sex is all about attitude, keeping your ego in check, and letting someone totally consume you (something celebrities have a very hard time with), and being open and comfortable with your partner.

If you’ve watched a sex tape, ask yourself why.  Did you wonder what a person who has money and fame fucks like?   Oh, Ms. Everything is so gorgeous and a great actor, I wonder how well she fucks and sucks dick?  I wonder how she grooms her vagina?   How do her nipples look?  I wonder if her partner is huge?   How big is his dick?  In fact, these questions will be our official categories when rating videos.

Below I have listed each category with a short description of the criteria for each:

Categories:

Quality:  Can you even see what is going on?  Most real sex tapes do not have the best quality (see our stuff), so we will rate each videos quality.  This opinion will be based solely of the quality of the footage, not the content.

Entertainment Value:   Is the video even worth the attention it gets?  Does this sex tape include real home video footage, paid actors with fake “home” footage, wrestling midget clowns, corny dialogue, or just straight sex footage.   This category speaks for itself.  Entertainment value.

Star Factor:  Can this video turn a C-rated celebrity into a superstar?   Does the video live up to the hype behind the name?  We’ll decide.

Skill: Does he/she fuck good?  Of course this is all based on our opinions, but we will judge the skill level of these celebs.  Does he fuck good, does she suck dick amazing, or do they just flat out stink in the sack?

The Woman:  This category will be based off the quality of the woman/women, including her hair, her breasts, her ass, her vagina grooming habits, and yes, probably even her nails.

The Man: Everyone likes to see what a man is working with, including other men.   In other words, is his dick big?   If the man is a celeb or not, we will let you know our opinions of what sized tools are being used in each sex tape.

Sexual Value:  This is a bit different from entertainment value, simply because I can be entertained, but not wet.  During the videos, Ryan and I will sit next to each other and I will fondle him, rub his balls, and watch with an open mind.  I assume he will be doing the same.   Does it give Ryan an erection?     Does it make me want to suck his dick?  We will watch the videos together and if we fuck during or immediately after, the videos will be given a high sex value.    I assume, famous or not, if the sex is good and they both seem into it, it will turn us both on.   If the sex is medicore, we will let you know.

Our Format:
Quality:
Entertainment Value:
Star Factor:
Skill Level:
The Woman:
The Man:
Sexual Value:
Summary and Conclusion:

In all fairness, we have certainly had our own stuff criticized, reviewed, hated, loved, insulted, complimented, judged, and so on. With over a half million views on our “sex tapes,”,we understand that nothing can please everyone.  Some people think a dick is big, some people think a dick is small.  Some people think a woman acting timid and sucking dick slow is amazing, some people think that is lame as hell.  Opinions are just that, opinions.  Our reviews are meant to entertain those that come to our site and read our blogs, moreso than truly judge a sex tape.  If you were really interested in a sex tape, I assume you’d find it yourself rather than come here to read our opinions about it.

MTV Teen Mom Star, Farrah Abraham releases sex tape

From MTV’s Teen Mom to Backdoor Squirting Milf Porn Star.  Farrah Abraham released her sex tape today via Vivid, the same company that released Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee (Pam and Tommy), Jimi Hendrix, Kim Kardashian, WWE Diva Chyna, and a number of other B / C / D level celebs that can only get your attention by fucking each other’s brains out on camera…

… the same way we do!

I’m not mad at you Farrah, sex is beautiful, and doing it the way you do it is even better.   Co-star / porn actor James Deen has openly said that recording this video was just another day in the office for him.  Any claims of this being a “private” sex tape is false, as it was purposely recorded in home video fashion to create more interest.   Her partner in the video is a known porn star.  Farrah, no need to pretend it’s a home video, just tell everyone you take it in the ass and squirt all over the room, that’s all the buzz you need.

Farrah Abraham just went from the most annoying reality star / teen mom on earth, to now just a somewhat slightly annoying milf.  Her new large breasts and open-attitude towards anal sex definitely puts her a lot higher in my book.  Although her oral skills need work,  her anal and squirting techniques will make even the most uptight executive at Viacom proud.  Good find MTV!  Your casting director and talent scouts need raises for sure.

Vivid’s synopsis:

“From Iowa cheerleader to MTV Teen Mom star, midwest beauty Farrah Abraham breaks free with her most daring video ever, Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom. Made originally as a personal ‘boudoir’ tape, Farrah decided to release the video to her fans due to overwhelming response once news of the tape became public for download. Shockingly explicit, she takes James Deen as you’d never imagine, in a backdoor scene you’ll never forget. With her tight young body and totally uninhibited sexuality, it’s no wonder why she wanted to capture this moment in time. And now you can too!” 

If you’re internet savvy, check the bay for the full release.

Interesting Search Terms

Occasionally we like to look at our search terms to see which terms are bringing readers to our blog. While these search terms do not dictate the subject matter of our work, we admit we do get a kick out of the results.  We have about a dozen or so search terms that have been searched 100 or higher.  Borrrring.  We did find a two-word search phrase in which a simple word order switch yielded a lower result!  As interesting as it is to see what our most popular search terms are, we thought we’d share some of our more entertaining ones:

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high quality sex blog <– you know, versus a low quality sex blog (shrug)

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To be continued….