Review: 1 Night In China (Chyna & X-Pac) WWE Sex Tape

1 night in china

1 Night in China is a pornographic movie featuring professional wrestling personalities Sean Waltman and Joanie Laurer, which was released by Red Light District Video in 2004. While Waltman and Laurer were engaged at the time they filmed 1 Night in China, they broke up before it was released. Laurer has made several pornographic films since, beginning with Another Night in China in 2009, which is considered to be a sequel to 1 Night in China.

 For those of you who are not familiar with Chyna or X-Pac, they were both WWE wrestlers in the early 2000s.  Chyna was known to have a huge muscular body, while X-Pac was the only guy in the WWE that wasn’t huge and muscular.  In fact, X-Pac used to go by the name 1 2 3 Kid, because he was a small wrestler who was known for his flying arsenal rather than power moves.  Like a real freak show match up, this 1 Night in China (Chyna) is like a female Andre The Giant vs Jake “The Snake” Roberts.

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Celebrity Sex Tape Reviews: 1 Night In Paris (Paris Hilton)

Parisdvd21 Night in Paris is a 2004 pornographic video depicting Paris Hilton having sexual intercourse in 2001 with Rick Salomon. Not originally intended for release, it was filmed primarily with a single, stationary, tripod-mounted camera using “night vision.” However, a handful of scenes were filmed indoors without night vision.

Continue Reading Celebrity Sex Tape Reviews: 1 Night In Paris (Paris Hilton)

Celebrity Sex Tape: Our Thoughts and Reviews

untitled2Two things that pique our most primal instincts: watching people fuck or fight.  Let’s cut to the chase – people enjoy celebrity sex tapes because they are watching celebrities fuck.   It’s a small window of opportunity to look inside the lives of famous people and see how they do the dirty deed.  Most of the time, our minds build these people up into super humans; famous and able to do things we can only imagine.  However, seeing them fuck brings them right back down to earth.  We love that. Money and fame can’t make a celebrity’s sex life any better than Mary Joe and Billy Bob in the trailer park.  Money didn’t make his dick big, didn’t make his female partner fly around the bed room and land on his cock after 8 flips and a somersault, and it didn’t make his orgasm any different from our own.  Good sex is all about attitude, keeping your ego in check, and letting someone totally consume you (something celebrities have a very hard time with), and being open and comfortable with your partner.

If you’ve watched a sex tape, ask yourself why.  Did you wonder what a person who has money and fame fucks like?   Oh, Ms. Everything is so gorgeous and a great actor, I wonder how well she fucks and sucks dick?  I wonder how she grooms her vagina?   How do her nipples look?  I wonder if her partner is huge?   How big is his dick?  In fact, these questions will be our official categories when rating videos.

Below I have listed each category with a short description of the criteria for each:

Categories:

Quality:  Can you even see what is going on?  Most real sex tapes do not have the best quality (see our stuff), so we will rate each videos quality.  This opinion will be based solely of the quality of the footage, not the content.

Entertainment Value:   Is the video even worth the attention it gets?  Does this sex tape include real home video footage, paid actors with fake “home” footage, wrestling midget clowns, corny dialogue, or just straight sex footage.   This category speaks for itself.  Entertainment value.

Star Factor:  Can this video turn a C-rated celebrity into a superstar?   Does the video live up to the hype behind the name?  We’ll decide.

Skill: Does he/she fuck good?  Of course this is all based on our opinions, but we will judge the skill level of these celebs.  Does he fuck good, does she suck dick amazing, or do they just flat out stink in the sack?

The Woman:  This category will be based off the quality of the woman/women, including her hair, her breasts, her ass, her vagina grooming habits, and yes, probably even her nails.

The Man: Everyone likes to see what a man is working with, including other men.   In other words, is his dick big?   If the man is a celeb or not, we will let you know our opinions of what sized tools are being used in each sex tape.

Sexual Value:  This is a bit different from entertainment value, simply because I can be entertained, but not wet.  During the videos, Ryan and I will sit next to each other and I will fondle him, rub his balls, and watch with an open mind.  I assume he will be doing the same.   Does it give Ryan an erection?     Does it make me want to suck his dick?  We will watch the videos together and if we fuck during or immediately after, the videos will be given a high sex value.    I assume, famous or not, if the sex is good and they both seem into it, it will turn us both on.   If the sex is medicore, we will let you know.

Our Format:
Quality:
Entertainment Value:
Star Factor:
Skill Level:
The Woman:
The Man:
Sexual Value:
Summary and Conclusion:

In all fairness, we have certainly had our own stuff criticized, reviewed, hated, loved, insulted, complimented, judged, and so on. With over a half million views on our “sex tapes,”,we understand that nothing can please everyone.  Some people think a dick is big, some people think a dick is small.  Some people think a woman acting timid and sucking dick slow is amazing, some people think that is lame as hell.  Opinions are just that, opinions.  Our reviews are meant to entertain those that come to our site and read our blogs, moreso than truly judge a sex tape.  If you were really interested in a sex tape, I assume you’d find it yourself rather than come here to read our opinions about it.

Midnight Snack

Midnight snack
Midnight snack

I squeeze Venice in my arms as tight as I can, my forearms under her underarms with my hands cupping her shoulders from underneath.  My face is buried in her neck and I can only see her hair and smell her lotion.  My back arches upwards as I grind my hips as deep as I can between her thighs.  She wraps her arms around me head and holds my close to her. It almost feels motherly, because I feel completely safe in her arms, even though I am near my most vulnerable moment.  I feel so safe I just want to climb back inside her, so I dig as deep as I can, trying to put my penis in her womb.  I feel the pain of an orgasm building and I squeeze my muscles so hard my body begins to shake.  My penis is buried so deep inside her vagina I can feel her back walls smashing my head and pushing my shaft back into my own body.  This pressure, the back walls pushing my erect penis back into my prostate, creates a greater orgasm intensity.  The pain hurts.  I slam my dick as hard as I can, hurting us both the entire time, just to get our bodies as conjoined and close as possible while I release inside her.   I shoot everything I have stored in my testicles and listen to her moan as she feels the thrusting of my hips slamming against her crotch.  This deep hard pumping motion is also what Venice physically enjoys the most.  It makes her cervix twitch and triggers her own orgasm.  She has said to me that she is unsure what really triggers her penetration climaxes, but she notices that after my first release of semen,  her body, specifically her cervix,  starts twitching almost immediately.  She has suggested that it could possibly be from the chemicals in my semen.  I have no idea, but I do know anything happening is nature and our instincts making conception as pleasurable as possible, for both of us.  I’ve heard a woman’s cervix dips into the pool of sperm left inside her while she orgasms, if she gets hers after his.  I wouldn’t be surprised if the chemicals in sperm create this reaction, as it helps with conception, but I’d assume it also is a mental thing, knowing she just made a grown man turn to mush in her arms simply by letting him feel and explore her special little hole she kept hidden from everyone her whole life.  That’s got to be a powerful feeling for a woman.

As I lay on her chest for a moment and listen to her heartbeat, I can still feel her vagina walls convulsing and tightening around my dick.  Her eyes stayed closed and she is bitting her lips.   I tried to whisper something in her ear and she immediately said, “shhhhh.”  Her “penetration orgasms” can last up to a minute after I stop moving, so I will lay on top of her with my softening dick inside her until she is through.  Although not as intense as her “clitorial orgasms”, she seems almost numbed and out of consciousness for a longer period of time.  She will not respond or talk, just move her hips slow and tighten around my dick until her body is done spasming.   

The smell of her lotion has changed a bit because of the heat of her body.  Everything feels perfect.  I get up and kiss her forehead and tell her how good she felt.  We both confirm that we enjoyed the moment.  It’s always special when both of your bodies our on the same page and you orgasm in unison.  I get off of her and slowly let my penis slide out of her body.  She immediately closes her legs to keep all of my semen inside her.  I head to the shower while she lays in bed keeping her eyes closed.  I notice that she has slid her hand down over her pussy and is slowly circling her clit with her fingers.  Her cool down.  Venice enjoys the idea of her body absorbing my semen, and has acknowledged that she does feel the affect of the hormones and mood altering chemicals the longer she keeps my full load trapped inside her  (some people have a hard time grasping this concept — she doesn’t).  

As I finish my shower, Venice strolls in behind me holding her fingers up to her pussy lips so my semen doesn’t drip all over the place.   I step out of the shower and she slaps my ass jokingly saying she loves my “juicy booty.”   Her mood after sex is always positive and upbeat.  I dry off and lay down in bed nude as she hops in the shower and washes off.   After she is done with the shower she walks past the bed and lifts the covers.  She glances at my butt or package or whatever she sees and makes a teasing, “ohhhhhhhhhhewwww” sound.  I pretend to not care but I love how playful she gets after sex.  She sits down at the computer desk and begins to work on a blog.  At this point, I am extremely tired and pass out.

I wake up panicked because I feel this weird sensation in my stomach.  I had probably  been asleep for an hour or two, so it was a deep sleep you normally do not wake up from.  Immediately I can feel my legs, feet, and chest exposed to the air because my cover and sheet is completely off me.  I was sleeping nude, so I didn’t feel anything removed or tugged on.  I look down and see Venice laying her head on my legs sucking my dick, which for whatever reason, gave me a butterfly sensation in my stomach.  I wasn’t hard, so she was sucking my flaccid dick with her head sidesways in my lap.  I’ve never really sat back and thought what it would feel like to have my penis in a girls mouth while I was totally unconscious or not wanting that sensation.  It feels weird.  To explain it better for those who can’t imagine this experience, think about someone nicely tickling your back as you fall asleep.   It would feel great and relaxing.  However, if you woke up and someone was tickling your back, it would almost freak you out.  Your mind has to grasp what is going on for you to really enjoy these things.  Getting my dick sucked was no different.  

What’s funny is, writing this blog reminds me of another time recently when Venice was sucking my dick and stroking me while I had already fallen asleep.  I remember having a partial erection but was so tired I was in and out of consciousness.  Each time I woke up I had this huge urge to just cum everywhere, but I’d fall back to sleep and dream about my penis feeling extremely oversized and hard.   Eventually, I believe I came and she swallowed or cleaned everything, but honestly I am unsure exactly what happen.   I had an orgasm sleeping, but only Venice knows how it looked or took place.  It seems scary  like sneezing with your eyes open, but I do wonder if I moaned or made an “o” face in my sleep.  A few times after this incident I’ve joked publicly about being taken advantage of, but joke or no joke,  it is definitely possible.   Venice has managed to make me orgasm while I was sleeping. 

Oops, I jumped off track a bit. 

Anyway, I woke up and Venice is sucking my dick.  Her body is faced up and she is laying her head in my lap.  Her face is sideways with my flaccid dick in her mouth, sucking.  I also hear this buzzing sound and look over to see both her legs spread and her massager between her thighs.  Venice has told me she enjoys her orgasms more if she has my penis in her mouth.  I do not know if its a comfort thing, or it just turns her on to feel my penis in her mouth and throat while she cums, but she woke me up just to suck on my dick while she played with herself (not the first time we have done this, as a lot of times when we face fuck, she will use her massager and cum while  my whole dick is going in and out of her throat — which she has blogged about loving to cum while she can’t breath — deep throating).  I assume, had I not just had sex before I fell asleep I would have woke up and participated a bit more, but that didn’t happen.  I fell back asleep and woke up to her screaming with my dick almost vibrating in her mouth as she came.  She shoved her face onto my crotch to get all of my dick in her mouth and throat, and yelled as she came, except she can’t yell.  My dick just vibrated.  I felt this huge jolt but only hear a muffled gasp.  A very intense gasp, but muffled.

I am immediately excited and feel myself growing in her mouth.  She had different plans.  She turned her toy off, threw the covers back on me and rolled over.  Within a minute she was asleep.  That’s it.  I wish I had more to tell you about this story, but that is it.  I’d say it was anticlimactic, but for Venice, it wasn’t.  For you as the reader, and me, it was. 

I love her.

Q & A: Why Does My Wife Say My Small Penis Is Large?

sex talkRay via Internet:

Hello Venice and Ryan.  I’ve never really emailed a question to a website before but yours seems interesting and I would love your opinion on a certain issue I have been dealing with.

A quick background.  I’ve been married for about 7 years and so far everything seems great.  We both have normal sex drives and usually have sex about 2-3 times a week.  As a kid in the lockerrooms, and later in college, I was always teased about my penis size.  I was on the wrestling team and the guys nicknamed me, “Light Switch.”  As you know, the singlets don’t hide much.   My wife also knows this because we started dating in college.  Although she never teased me, she knew of the nickname.  It never really seemed to bother her.

I’ve also viewed a few articles about the average penis sizes in men all over the world.   I am considerably under most of the averages, except for like Korea.  Too bad I don’t live in Korea (bad joke I know)!   I am unsure if you need my exact size, if so, just email me back.  

Either way, it’s well under average but I have never had problems getting my wife to orgasm.  Most of the time I will make her orgasm prior to intercourse with my fingers or tongue.  Lately, she has been talking dirty in the middle of sex and she started saying things like:  “Oh my god, your cock is huge!”  “You are going to tear me in half with that fucking big dick.”   “I have never seen anyone as hung as you.”

I know this sounds a little wierd but what should I do?  I am unsure if she is teasing me or I really am the biggest man she has ever had.   Why would she say these things?   Neither of us were virgins and she never lived in Korea, or dated a Korean, so I have a hard time believing I am the most hung man she has ever seen.   Your thoughts?

 

Venice’s thoughts:

Thank you for your question.  I particularly like this one for several reasons.  But first let me explain something – “penis average” reports are subjective in the same way pain is subjective.  My threshold of pain is higher than Ryan’s, but if we present a back problem to a doctor, we will be prescribed the same medicine, even if my pain tolerance is higher.  The standards of measurement are ..well, who KNOWS what the standards are!  For the sake of argument, the measurements of other penises worldwide are irrelevant in your situation.

I understand your frustration and the questions you must have as to how genuine your wife is in calling your cock huge.  In all reality, who cares if she honestly does or doesn’t believe your measurement is longer, wider, etc than any guy she’s been with.  I want to congratulate her personally for figuring out what many women do not do: express to her man that he has the biggest dick she’s ever had.  If I tell a chef, “This is the best tiramisu I’ve ever tasted!” I promise you he will not go home that night and question the deliciousness of the dessert.  Instead, he will relish in the fact that he has satisfied a customer to the point where he has claimed he has tasted nothing better than what he was just served.  The chef will look over his ingredients, preparation, and attempt to recreate the recipe over and over for future customers.  That is, until a food critic says otherwise.

Saying you have the biggest cock she’s ever had makes her a good lover, not a liar; it makes her an awesome wife, not a deceiver.  The more she says this, the more she will believe it and the more it will be true.  She says it to you to boost your ego, which in turn will help you to become a more confident lover.  When you’re having sex, her mind is focused on you and your body, and what you do to her.  Don’t allow your obsession with any hidden agendas on her part take away from the intimacy that you share together.  Your constant looking into the gift horse’s mouth will put thoughts in your head that put a wedge between you two.  Men WANT a woman who tell them their dicks are huge.  Be appreciative that she does it of her own accord.

Ryan’s thoughts:

 These things are always so easy to answer for me.  COMMUNICATION.  Ask her.

I guess for this blog I can write a few assumptions but that’s all they would be, assumptions.  

Does it turn you on to hear how big you are?  Maybe this makes you fuck her better?  Maybe when she mentions how big she thinks your penis is, you get extra excited and it does get bigger?  Maybe she enjoys feeling your excitement when she tells you how big you are?  Maybe it turns her on to fantasize about you being huge?  Maybe she thinks you are huge?  Maybe she is vocalizing what she thinks in her head, and wants you to hear and affirm her thoughts?  Maybe it turns her on more to know you accept you’re huge to her?  Maybe she just wants you to fuck her like you are huge and the alpha of all men?    Attitude.

Let’s say she doesn’t think your dick is huge, but during sex these thoughts pass through her mind.  Her talk is equivalent to role play.  I’ve fucked Venice from behind and pretended I was raping her.   Does that mean she was raped?  Absolutely not.  It’s just random thoughts that pop into our head to make the situation exciting and different.   Good sex is almost all mental.  If she tells herself you have the biggest cock in the world, she can put herself in that situation mentally and absolutely enjoy the idea of a being with a horse cocked man.  A lot of good women do this without their husbands ever knowing.  It’s not a mistake that most happy women feel their man’s size is perfect for them.  Women on marriage websites will brag about their husbands being huge, especially newlyweds.  The first thing these women say if things end up not working out?  “Oh my god, he was tiny.”  Does that mean she was lying?  NO.  When a woman is happy with a man, everything is better, including your dick.  When a woman is happy with you, in her mind, your dick is a redwood tree and she enjoys the idea of being your lumberjack.  When she is unhappy, your dick is a tumbleweed and she prefers nothing more than watching that little dried up shrub to roll on by.   All mental.   Guys do the same thing, whether it be about smells, how good she is in bed, etc.

The mind is a powerful thing.  I do not think women consciously come up with these evil plots to trick men, but because of love, they truly want their spouse to be the man of all men.  I’ve accepted this.  Sometimes Venice will see a large object or a giant penis and immediately whisper in my ear, “that’s small compared to you…..” and she’ll grab my crotch like she is pinching a baby’s cheeks — not reach down and barely be able to hug my mountain of a crotch because it”s so huge she can’t get her arms around it.  However, she is not joking, she absolutely means it.  It’s not true, but she means it.  Her intentions aren’t mean, aren’t evil, aren’t trickery, it’s what she feels.  She is proud of her husband regardless of his dick size, and to let him know, she communicates this with him.  That’s what good women do.   As a good man, don’t question it.  Give her exactly what she wants, a huge cock.  Fuck her like your dick is the biggest thing on earth, attitude is everything.