I’ll try to keep these selfies limited to new outfits, panties, and ideas, rather than the exact same poses and panties every day. Thankfully, I do change my panties! Unfortunately, until I learn how to stretch and morph my body into alien-like positions, I am a bit limited at what I can do with my camera! Red Panty Night
Dear Naughty Selfie Diary: Red Panties, Heels, and A Sexy Dress.
So I threw on some sexy heels, my red panties, and a cute dress and headed to work. It’s red panty night for my husband so when I get home I expect to be wine and dined and then have him go down on me and put his tongue where the sun don’t shine. And if he does it right, I may let him slide something else in me.
My Mom Found My Receipt for my Bondage Set and 10 Inch Dildo
My mother knows my partner and I haven’t been sexually active for a while, she won’t be angry or anything it’s just incredibly goddamn embarrassing. My 10 inch dildo guilt.
Well, the parcel arrived while my parents were at work so I destroyed the box and all packaging. Shredding everything into tiny pieces before putting them in an opaque carrier bag an into the bin. I thought I’d been very careful, I go away for the weekend to find a “Thank you for your purchases!” on my desk, with ALL my purchases listed including a bondage set and 10 inch dildo.
How incredibly embarrassing.
It wasn’t in an envelope or anything, does an invoice go to the house owner? I’m so fucking scared to have this conversation, actually teary from embarrassment.
The best course of action here is to pretend nothing is wrong. Not only that, pretend nothing is even wrong with a 10 inch dildo. My advice is to walk up to your parents and ask them if they found a receipt from a sex store. If they affirm, look your father dead in his eyes and say, “Well at least you only saw the receipt for what I warm up with and not the real deal…”
Maybe this will teach them never to use their eyes again around any piece of paper that is on the floor around your bedroom door. Later, text your dad and ask him the dimensions of the bedpost. Tell him you and your boyfriend are doing some bedroom shopping.
I’m kidding.
Seriously, it’s no big deal. I get the embarrassment, but you’ll all get over it. They are probably just as embarrassed as you. Rather than throwing it away and living with the shame of knowing and you being oblivious, they let you know that they knew. Some people do prefer to not have these weird secrets. They may never want to discuss it, but they want you to know, they know. That’s it.
Ryan’s response to mother finding huge dildo
I’ve been caught prone masturbating by my mother. Not really nude or anything, just my shorts pulled halfway down and me grinding against a towel. My mom walked in like, “What are you doing?” Obviously that was embarrassing as hell for me. I just yelled, “Nothing! Close the door!”
Yup, the old classic “close the door” response!
I have been caught by my wife masturbating more times than I’d like to think about. Each time was embarrassing, but the last time she just laughed and walked off. This was in the beginning of our relationship when our sexual compatibility was off. In fact, I did a lot of things during those days that embarrass me to even think about.
Either way, I lived through it. My parents lived through it. Venice lived through it. You’ll live through it. Your parents will live through it. We aren’t perfect and the sooner you accept that, the better off you will be. It’s okay that you like 10 inch dildos that you could probably pole vault with and break records at the Summer Olympics, no big deal. Who doesn’t?
I’ll try to keep these selfies limited to new outfits, panties, and ideas, rather than the exact same poses and panties every day. Thankfully, I do change my panties! Unfortunately, until I learn how to stretch and morph my body into alien-like positions, I am a bit limited at what I can do with my camera! Baddie with a Fattie.
bad·die /ˈbadē/ – A baddie is a girl who is super attractive. She slays whether she’s wearing a tight dress or sweatpants. She’s usually slim thick and has all the curves in all the right places. She’s also a little bit sassy which makes her that much more attractive.
Dear Naughty Selfie Diary: A Baddie with a Fattie.
Last day of work before Thanksgiving holidays. And it’s a cold one. That doesn’t stop me from dressing cute! So when you take off all the layers of my outfit: black pea coat, black scarf, black gloves, black beanie…and then lift up my black sweater dress and get exposed to a full black bush.
But before I expose the bush, I let my panties hold it all creating a nice fattie in my panties. My husband loves this.
He said to me after he received my selifes:
Damn, looks like you have a fattie under those panties.
When I first got married I went through a phase with my wife that included experimenting with sexy undies, shaving my legs, and exploring various adult curiosities that you aren’t allowed to explore until you live with someone else that enjoys trying new things with you. However, I never imagined I’d feel sexy wearing my wife’s used panties. And honestly, from the beginning, my wife made it clear, she wasn’t cool with variations in my undergarments. It just wasn’t attractive to her.
Below are selfies of my wife wearing the same panties, taken the day before my selfie above.
The History of Wearing My Wife’s Used Panties
When my wife and I first moved in together, neither of us really knew what was or wasn’t appropriate. All we knew was that now that we were “adults” things would change and we could do whatever our young hearts desired. Walk around nude, have sex at any time, dance around naked playing air guitar together, and pee in each others faces for fun. Finally we got to to all the things adults do when they are all grown up! Oh boy!
I remember shopping one day and I saw male thongs at the local store. I recall thinking to myself, “I am going to look sexy as hell in these. Should I buy the slight thongs or pure thongs that look like dental floss?”
“Dental floss it is!”
I bought the thongs and rushed home to try them on. I remember looking in the mirror, unable to fully put my sac inside the thong, so half a testicle on each side was kind of hanging out. My penis also didn’t stay where it belonged so I laid it along the waist line hoping to cover it with the strings that wrap around my hips. Although not much coverage, I felt it still looked great and just knew my wife would love it. She was still at work and she wouldn’t be home for a few hours. So I just kept the thongs on and otherwise was nude on the couch. Just wearing the thongs made me horny with excitement and I couldn’t wait to see her face.
Unfortunately I passed out on the couch and when she walked in, I was laying there, turned away from the door, with my ass and thong exposed to the world. Unable to put on my Zoolander look to make the thongs more appealing, my wife walked over to me and let me know she was home. I believe she was too uncomfortable to even touch me because she kind of hit/tapped me on the shoulder like you would if you were waking up a bum on a park bench. I stood up. My vision a bit foggy from still being tired, penis plump from falling asleep horny with man thongs on, each ball hanging out the side of the thong because the fabric could no longer hold half of them inside, and the floss like backside of the undies totally hidden by my ass cheeks. My wife didn’t say a word. She didn’t laugh, she didn’t smile, she didn’t blink…I am unsure if she even took a breath to be honest. After this awkward 20 seconds, which seemed like an hour, I asked her if she liked them?
My wife looked at me and responded as stoic as I had ever seen her, “Please throw those away and never put anything like those on again.”
I was immediately defensive and I used the old line, “You said you loved me and I would look sexy in anything…”
She looked me up and down and responded, “I lied.”
I never put on thongs again.
My First Time Wearing My Wife’s Used Panties
Fast forward 20 years and a Christmas photo shoot where we were planning on doing role reversal for entertainment on our blog. The idea was to take photos the opposite of what we had taken 7 years earlier. For instance, if my wife was bent over in front of a Christmas tree with a yo-yo tying her hands behind her back, with the title, “Santa’s Workshop”, we’d do the same with me. So we’d put her panties on me, tie my hands behind my back, and try to take the same photo 7 years later.
It all started in December 2012 with our 25 day photo shoot we did leading up until Christmas. It was actually a bigger task than we thought it would be. But we had fun and 25 days of memories. Now, in 2019, we are going to try and do a more comedic approach maybe. Maybe sexy. We will try to reverse roles and see how the pictures turn out. I assume silly as hell, but it should be fun…
Let’s stop the intro there for this one….
Look closely at the picture above. Because we did try a role reversal photo. We set up a smaller tree, the train tracks, and even had a yo-yo, although a different color. And let me just say, the panties were no longer pink, but more of an off grey with a touch of pink. Yes, we still had the same panties! The ass was that of an old hairy man with skinny legs (me?!), and the bulge was an actual hairy ball sack. In my mind, it could have been great. If I was young with a sublime ass. If I was still shaving and perfectly trimmed. If I had been doing squats for the last 10 years and my body was a perfect sculpture of the statue of David. Alas, this photo shoot wasn’t meant to be published. If you are on social media and happened to click in, you are welcome. If you just came by the blog for the first time, you are welcome too! But thankfully it’s the spirit of Christmas here at our blog, and it’s the thought that counts!
What I did do last night for the first time was put on a pair of my wife’s old panties. This isn’t something I ever found sexy to look at, but I did get a strong feeling of connection. So much so, that I suggest I start wearing her used panties the next day after she wore them. I know, I am embarrassed even typing that. A bit emasculating, but my response from her was pretty intense. My wife said, “That would be so hot. Like almost complete pussy and body worship.” So we will see what happens with that.
Otherwise, let me add to our previous blog. Here is our favorite little hidden gem we found last year when we were making a lo fi Christmas playlist. Our new tradition for our December 1 blog: We LOVE the movie National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.
*edit: We added the photo from the 2019 photo shoot. This is your last warning. lol. Do not scroll down unless you want to see old man ass in pink panties!
Naughty Selfies – Red Panty Night
The best course of action here is to pretend nothing is wrong. Not only that, pretend 
Either way, I lived through it. My parents lived through it. Venice lived through it. You’ll live through it. Your parents will live through it. We aren’t perfect and the sooner you accept that, the better off you will be. It’s okay that you like 10 inch dildos that you could probably pole vault with and break records at the Summer Olympics, no big deal. Who doesn’t?
Naughty Selfies – Baddie with a Fattie
Wearing My Wife’s Used Panties
My First Time Wearing My Wife’s Used Panties
7 Years – Our Christmas Past and Present (s)
