Q&A: Is bringing my vibrator to my honeymoon hot or too much? 

Q&A: Is bringing my vibrator to my honeymoon hot or too much? 

My wedding is in two months and my husband doesn’t know that I cannot orgasm through penetration.  It’s just never came up.  I am unsure if he just assumes I do, or it’s not something he has ever thought about.   Although I moan a lot while he has sex with me and my theatrics get intense while he cums  inside me, he has never asked if I orgasm with him or I just enjoy it when he cums in me.  Although it’s the latter, I’d still like to start having orgasms with him and don’t know if our honeymoon would be the right place to introduce my vibrator.  I do know with past experiences, I can come with penetration as long as I have a vibrator on my clit area.    Is this too much?  Should I wait till after my honeymoon to introduce this to my future husband or make my first nights with him as his wife, experiences where we both climax together?

Venice’s response to vibrator on honeymoon

This is actually a tough question.  Because we can’t go backwards and advise you to communicate with him about how you orgasm prior to agreeing to marrying him, this can get tricky.   I can see why you would want to orgasm with him on your wedding night, as it seems like that could be extremely intimate and special.   However, I also see how it could turn into a nightmare on his ego if he thinks you are having an orgasm while he has sex with you.   I admit, a lot of men are just ignorant to a woman’s body and think we naturally orgasm when they orgasm. As weird as that sounds, it’s pretty common.   

I’d say possibly get a small vibrating bullet that you can fit in your purse.   Or check out this lipstick vibrator we reviewed in the past.   Something that is non threatening and small, which probably won’t be as visually offensive as you lining up your 3 favorite dildos that you prefer to get you off on your wedding night.   That may not sit well.

Navigate carefully and maybe think about talking to him now about your honeymoon plans and the things you want to try with him.  Cold feet is a thing, so tread carefully and do what you think is best for you and your relationship.  

Ryan’s response to vibrator on honeymoon

I have never done anything traditional so I suppose if my wife opened up one of her luggage bag and inside it was 3 dildos, 2 vibrators, and a whip, I would have accepted it.  Unsure though.  I did go through the phase of my wife only being able to cum through clitoral stimulation and for some reason we were both infatuated with a hands free orgasm only using my penis.  We tried everything.   I wanted to be the first, and she wanted me to be the first.  For years it never happened and when we figured out using a vibrator during sex was the closest we would get, we loved it.  It also saved me from a very sore tongue and jaw, because our sex life prior to a vibrator consisted of me going down on her until she had an orgasm.  No matter how long it took.   Afterwards we would go to penetrative sex, which was purely for my pleasure.   I was young and didn’t really understand the idea that sex can be satisfying for a women without her having to cum too.

So he may be hurt when he realizes he isn’t making you cum while he has sex with you, he may also be relieved that you figured out how to make sure you both can orgasm together.  This is just one of those situations where you know him best, so do what you feel is best.   One thing we did prior to discovering vibrators was using our fingers.  This is something you should have suggested from the beginning.  I am a big advocate of women making sure they go for their orgasm, the same as men go for theirs.  Imagine a man having sex and the woman stopping prior to him finishing?  Usually that isn’t happening.  Except maybe in an offbeat comedy about a woman in a powerful position having the control to just stop prior to a man cumming. Regardless,  more than likely he would just roll over and stroke himself until he is done anyway.  That’s just how it is.  If a position isn’t good for him, he switches it.  If a woman is on top and he doesn’t feel the orgasm building up, he rolls her over and gets on top.   If he is getting a blow job and it is taking a bit long to get off, he flips her over and fucks her brains out so he can cum.  He isn’t fucking her brains out to impress her.  He is fucking her brains out because he is so turned on and frustrated from wanting to cum during oral sex.  So he punishes her body until he gets himself off.  Meanwhile his partner thinks he is an animal and great in bed.   Maybe so, but he is responsible for his own orgasm!   Woman should feel the same.  This isn’t 1960 where it’s all up to him to make you cum or you suffer.  No.   

So while I had sex, my wife or I would rub her clit until she came.  Admittedly, this wasn’t as easy as you see in porn because my wife never came quickly and I’d have to find a position where she could play with herself while I stay erect and moved my body in and out of her.  It was tough.   Which is why when the vibrator was introduced and she came in minutes, it just made everything better.    But still, maybe play with your clit with your fingers while he fucks you and see if that helps you get off.   This may be a good segue into introducing the vibrator.