The Male Orgasm Rating System

umbrellaSo, why do we blog? Because we are weird and do weird shit.   Somewhere along the lines we decided to share these weird things with the rest of the world because, well, why not?

We didn’t get into blogging for traffic or to sell sex products.  We didn’t even know if our blog would ever be read by anyone other than ourselves.  However, we both got off on the idea that our random thoughts and sexual experiences would be online for us to read whenever we wanted.   Almost like a public diary.

Dear Diary:

Today I am going to create a rating system for my orgasms.  Why? Because yesterday as Venice was giving me a blow job I couldn’t stay still.  She had both of her hands around my dick stroking me while she kept the head of my penis in her mouth.  This technique literally gets me so high that I cannot function.  My eyes water up, my ears get hot, my face goes numb, and I literally feel like I have no control over my body.  Like when getting a buzz from alcohol (I’m a very happy drinker) or some sort of drug, everything I look at gives me this euphoric feeling.   For instance, when I am in this high drug-like state, I look down at Venice and she is like an absolute angel.  My mind is in an extremely positive state and everything about her makes me happy.  Her looks, her body, her personality, everything, becomes angelic.   It seems chauvinistic, but I swear a woman is at her most beautiful when she has a dick in her mouth.  I don’t know if it’s the addiction to this feeling it creates or I am just a douchebag and like seeing Venice suck my cock.  However, my truth, between you and me Diary, she never looks more perfect than when she is giving me oral sex.  I do not care if she has spit all over herself and my dick, has tears running down her face, pulls my dick out and beats it against her own face saying how much it hurts, is moaning with each slurp like my dick is the best meal she has ever had, and is twisting her neck back and forth in weird motions just to let me know she wants to rub her jaw and mouth on every angle of my penis, she is flawless.  Beyond a super model. I feel some women do not get that they create this feeling in men.  They see oral sex as submissive or disrespectful.  If they do give you oral sex it’s slow, with little movement, as if they are eating at a classy dinner table and want to use proper etiquette.   The more you try to be polite, the more awkward you look. If you stop to wipe off spit, or giggle because you feel uncomfortable, you are ruining the moment.  Sucking our dicks and then not touching it because you may get your own spit on your hands is an absolute mood killer.  There is no nice classy way to give your man oral sex.  You either suck him with authority and put inhibition on the back burner, or you are not really that good at giving head.  That is it.  If you still feel like a lady while you are sucking your man, you probably aren’t doing it right.

Back to the point.  Good thing this is only for me and my Diary, otherwise I’d have to explain to the readers why my thoughts are so random and all over the place. By the way, if you aren’t me and you are reading this, please stop now.  No one gave you permission to look through my Diary.  Just because it’s here on the blog doesn’t mean it’s right for you to snoop through my shit.  Shame on you.

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Fan Mail: What a great blog!

Hi- Saw the Nerve.com interview.

What a great blog! Very exciting and interesting. There is much that my lover and I can relate to in terms of exploring, sharing, trusting, jealousy. We both loved what you said about being completely honest and open – and feeling closer because of it. Very inspiring! We’d like to share our blog with you: The List Glad your site exists. Need more like this.

MzSlinky

Thank you Mz Slinky!  We checked out your page and thought it was great.  Thanks for the heads up!

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Freaky Search Terms – watch his balls when he cums

ffst-300x200Freaky search terms, where we post our most outrageous search terms that people used to find our website.  Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.

Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real search terms.   Each search term was used by some person in the world that ended up on our page.

10. penis plug steel with sex vagina. whats problem face ??
Ryan: Oh God, I didn’t miss this very much.
Venice: Can you believe the last one of these we did was in August?  That’s almost 4 months ago.
Ryan: There was a reason why we stopped you know.
Venice: I don’t like your attitude right now Ryan.
Ryan: No seriously, we stopped because the search words are either about husband’s sucking cock or some weird pedo stuff.  Why any of these keywords lead to our blog makes no sense at all.  For the record,  I am not bisexual.
Venice: Yea yea we know Ryan…
Ryan: And…
Venice: …whats problem face with you huh?
Ryan:
Venice: You like that?
Ryan: I saw what you did.
Venice: So you liked it?
Ryan: It was okay.  It was timed well and your delivery was good.
Venice: Whats the problem face??!?!?
Ryan: When you say that it sounds so sexy to me.  It sounds almost like you are a fresh off the boat Asian.  You think maybe tonight…
Venice:  Nope.  No more “I need my green card and I’m a  lost little Asian girl but for some reason I am taking off my clothes and on my knees sucking your dick moaning all funny sounding like your cock is leaking helium” fantasies for you Ryan.
Ryan: Dammit, that’s personal and private information woman.
Venice: Oh…you no likey my problem with face?

9. how can i make my eight years old orgasm
Venice: Oh yea, so that’s why we stopped doing these.
Ryan: Pretty much.
Venice: Searched 7 times?
Ryan: You’d think after the first 6 clicks they’d stop.
Venice: Sick.

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The Vagina Dialogues – I Love My Cycle

sex during my periodI love my cycle. Not a motorcycle, not a calendar cycle, not a weather cycle, but my monthly cycle.

Why? When I first got my period, I was 11 and started before all of my friends. I had no one to talk to about it. I would even say it was embarrassing for me. In fact, I didn’t even tell my mom. I just kept sneaking her maxi pads until one day I was in so much pain I lay on my bed crying. Then, I was “caught.” I never had a serious talk with her about it. Inside I hated it. I was already taller than my classmates, developing back in the 4th grade. Starting my cycle only made it worse.

Then in junior high, all the girls were pretty much caught up to each other, and actually NOT having gotten your first period yet was extremely rare. Having your period became something not of shame, but of pride.

Our cycles meant we were all physically women, and no matter how different we all thought we were from each other, it was something that we all had in common. I’d even say it was something to bond over. The other girls in my high school baton twirling squad synchronized our periods and it was something we were tickled by. I’d read somewhere that this happens to women who spend a lot of time together. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but when the first of us announced that her period started, we knew that we would start within the next two or three days. It was like clockwork.

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Q&A: I Haven’t Had Sex With My Wife In 7 Years

3ba6ab1c317844c9716122024fb10f83Hello, my wife and I have been married for 30 years this year. She was 34 and I was 28 when we first got married. When we first met we talked to each other over two hours at a bar (waiting for other friends to show to go to a Sounders game) before I even asked her name. We clicked instantly and spent the week-end together. In six months we were married. She looked like a model, so very beautiful, kind, loving, and smart. She is still beautiful, and I love her soul, at least the part she lets me into.

We are/were hippies, a product of the times and proud of it. I have had image issues in the past due to being born with a cleft-palette (no nose, no roof in my mouth, oversized lower lip, etc.), though this was all corrected beautifully when I was fifteen years old. I was 6′ 2″ when I was in fifth grade but I felt sorry for the kids who made fun of me. Another story for another place.

woodstock1Background; I figured I’ve slept with about 10+ women, my wife told me that she has slept with 300+ people before me. That has not bothered me as it was all before me, actually kind of impressed and a bit of a turn on. I truly believe in “Make Love – Not War” Not an issue, just background info.

In the beginning, the sex was great, communication was flowing non-stop (on the phone with her for five to six hours at a time). An amazing, whirlwind, of a time. Then as the wedding got closer she got sick. It turned out to be morning sickness. She had stopped taking her birth control pills but failed to let me know this fact. Our son, now grown, was born nine months later. He is one of the finest young men I know and I am so happy that he is here. I was hurt at the time about not being let in on the decision. Sex takes a holiday. We have our daughter and another difficult pregnancy. Sex takes a holiday, understandable. After we get the family settled the sex becomes bit more frequent but less emotional on her part, more mechanical. I tried to make suggestions to spice up our love life but was rebuffed on numerous occasions.

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