During work at about 2 P.M. I got a text message from Venice saying she had a bad headache and she was headed to the store to buy some Ibuprofen. It’s allergy season so I figured it was no big deal. At about 5:30 P.M. I see her car pull up to my office and she gets out and switches seats. I call her on her cell and ask what is going on. She tells me she is tired and needs me to drive her home. She felt guilty because she knew I wasn’t off yet and offered to sleep in the car until I was off work. Of course I immediately close down and go outside to see what is wrong with her. She asked if I could leave my car at work and drive her home. She can’t seem to stay awake. I agree, but ask if I need to take her to the hospital. Something just wasn’t right.
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Sexual Guilt From Having Such A Giving Spouse
How can anyone be guilty from having a spouse that is so giving?
It really is very easy, especially when you are open about your sex life. When people find out about me being woke up to blow jobs each day, or that we practice intimacy twice a day, they immediately find something wrong with it. I’ve heard from others that I must be controlling, I must be too needy, it must be torture for my wife to give so much of her time to me, we’re not normal, everyone needs breaks from sex, and the list goes on and on. I’ve heard my friends’ wives respond, “Oh that poor girl,” when speaking about Venice and the amount of time she spends with me (maybe 30 – 45 minutes a day total on average). When I say I am open about my sex life, I do not mean I give all the details about everything I do sexually. That’s what this blog is for. What I do mean is, most of our close friends do know about our circle and know that Venice and I are intimate daily.
Although we are raised to believe certain rules and moral codes as children, when we become an adult it is important that we rethink our childhood teachings. What were our parents trying to teach us, what were they trying to protect us from, and what does our own belief system and worship of God teach us? Blaming our parents or our religion for our feelings is not taking full responsibility for our own growth and re-evaluation. Most people grow up, and evaluate what their parents did right and what they did wrong. After this evaluation, they decide what they will do differently in their lives, and the way they parent their children. What happens with guilt is oftentimes different. No matter how we change our thinking, we may continue to suffer guilt when we engage in something that we grew up thinking was verboten. Sexual guilt is one of those areas that affect many couples’ lives. As with most issues in a relationship it will be easier if you address and talk about it with your committed partner.
~ Mary Jo Rapini, Licensed Relationship and Family Therapist
I believe a lot of the disconnect with intimacy and relationships is because of how we were “programmed” as children. Venice is given “social” sympathy (not really sympathy, but almost a sarcastic response to the idea of having sex too much) as a “poor girl” because each day she has decided to wake up and spend intimate time with me for 10 minutes. Yet it’s totally acceptable for her to work for 8 hours each day.
So let me try to put this in perspective so I can understand it better. 10 minutes a day to keep your marriage strong and your spouse happy; weird and unusual. 8 hours a day to spend away from your spouse and family, busting your ass to pay bills and earn money; normal and acceptable. According to the American Time Use Survey, an average person watches 2.6 hours of television a day. Men spend 6.0 hours for leisure activities each day, while women spend 5.2. This is all normal and acceptable. I’ve never heard anyone suggest to Venice that she was a “poor girl” because she watches her favorite show or spends time on the computer each night. However, if she has to spend intimate time with her husband each day, that’s considered unusual. Not that “you” time isn’t important, but “us” time is equally important in my opinion. Especially considering a lot of your security, happiness, comfort, and complacency in life is based off the idea that you have already found your life partner and you no longer have the stresses of being alone or looking for someone to date. In essence, making sure you and your spouse are both happy, is also “you” time. Well, if you have your priorities straight and you aren’t self centered.
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Random Moments – Our First Threesome
Years ago, when Venice and I were still dating, we explored each other’s bodies daily. I had never really touched my body, my testicles, and as I already mentioned in a previous article, I masturbated prone. I was young, around 19 years old, and during a blow job while standing up Venice felt a lump in my testicles. This was a first for me, as I had never really explored my testicles and didn’t really know what all the different textures felt like. After she showed me, I also felt the lump. This freaked me out so I made an appointment with a doctor on a military base. I was still a military dependent in college, so I could still use the on base facilities.
On the day of my appointment, I was a bit nervous. I had never dropped my pants in front of a doctor so I didn’t know what to expect. What’s funny is, growing up I played sports but was extremely shy, so my dad would sign the all my sports physical forms, as a doctor, to save me from having to drop my pants and cough while I was a teenager. I know that sounds dumb but I appreciated not having to be humiliated. I probably wouldn’t have played sports in school if my dad actually made me go to a doctor prior. I hated the idea of exposing myself. I also didn’t think I needed a doctor to fondle my nuts while I coughed to know that I could play basketball (which I played every day my whole life up until that point).
Back to my lump. As Venice and I sat in the back room waiting for the doctor to enter, we heard a female voice next door talking to a nurse.
“Seargent Tucker came in today again,” the first female voice announced.
“Oh no,” Responded the female second voice. “Again?”
“Yes, I walked in the room this time and he had his penis already out, exposing himself to me. This is the 3rd time this week he has came in and had me check him,” said the first female voice.
“That’s ridiculous,” responded the second female voice.
“While I am checking him he starts getting an erection so I stopped immediately,” says the first female voice.
“You should call his commanding office and let him know what he is doing,” the second female voice responded.
At that point I made a funny face and looked at Venice. Venice looked back at me and made a hand motion of someone giving oral sex and fondling a man’s balls. I couldn’t help but laugh. I suppose on military facilities there isn’t really a “knock before you enter” protocol because my physician entered the room and caught Venice giving oral sex to air while I was watching and laughing. What a great start for such an embarrassing situation for me.
The doctor, an Asian lady that resembled Lucy Liu, asked if she was interrupting something. Like two shamed school kids, we both looked down and shook our heads no. She then asked me what my reasons were for coming in that day. I explained to her that we found a lump in my testicles and wanted to know if I was dying. She asked me to stand up and remove my pants so she could have a look.
Jeez, slow down Doc.
So, let me list all the things going through my mind:
- Doctor, how long do I have to live?
- I hope Venice doesn’t slap this doctor for touching me.
- Please penis, don’t be “just stepped out of a cold pool” tiny right now.
- I hope the doctor doesn’t laugh at my penis.
- I hope my dick isn’t swollen or too big. I don’t want her to think I am Seargent Tucker
- Will she be able to tell that my penis is crooked just by looking at?
- Oh God, why the fuck does she have to be a woman.
- Oh God, why the fuck does she have to be a Asian woman.
- Oh God, why the fuck does she have to be a cute Asian woman.
- I hope the doctor doesn’t excite me and cause my penis to grow.
- Her hands better be warm if she touches my balls.
Seriously, what the fuck is the proper etiquette with your penis when a doctor enters the room? Is it allowed to be stretched a bit so it isn’t totally shriveled?
Not to be a pervert, but I can see why Seargent Tucker seemed to be having so many penis problems himself. This doctor was adorable. I started counting sheep in my head trying not to think about anything sexual. I was extremely embarrassed about exposing myself to a doctor, as the only person that had ever seen me nude was Venice, but I guess you can say I have this thing for Asian women. Doctor or no doctor, I said a small prayer asking the Lord to please help me control my penis so it does not make any sudden movements. I pulled my pants down and watched the doctor eyeball my penis and testicles. She fondled me for a few moments and couldn’t find the lump. I asked if I could show her where, and she nodded. I put my finger on the area of the lump and she placed her hand where I was pointing. She confirmed she also felt a lump and asked me to lay down. I still had my pants halfway down to my knees and wobbled my way to the patient table. I looked over to Venice, who was making her tongue poke out the side of her cheek inside her mouth, to suggest a blow job, and gave her a dirty look. As I laid there naked, exposed to the doctor who was fondling my balls, with my girlfriend watching, I wanted to disappear from earth. I hated every second of it. I really felt even more stupid when I found out there was nothing wrong with my testicles and it was merely a bent vein in my sac that hardens (when my testicles are not fully sagging) when I stand up.
Years later Venice teases me about this situation and calls it our first threesome.
Your Self-Stock (part 2) – Older Women Fuck Better
Older Women Fuck Better
In a previous blog Venice wrote about her self-stock (How My Self-Stock Changes Over The Years) and made a lot of great points. She spoke about her younger days and how she viewed herself, to how she changed over the years. This blog came to fruition during a car ride when I was trying to explain to her that a guy in my position has no desire to ever cheat. She understood, but I wanted her to really understand, so I came up with a self stock analogy to try and better explain myself.
When I was a younger I used to watch television and for whatever reason, spot a random woman from say…a shampoo commercial. My eyes would fixate on how she washed her hair in the shower, showing parts of her body, and I would fantasize about the different things we would do together…nude…while rubbing her breasts on my face. I didn’t need direct contact, I just needed a thought of her. Those thoughts turned into dirty ideas, those dirty ideas took a life of their own. Without the woman ever knowing me, she took advantage of me…in so many good ways. In my mind, I came up with various scenarios, and as soon as my young body would orgasm, I no longer thought of the woman taking a shower washing her hair again… or until next time I saw the commercial.
At that time in my life, it didn’t matter if you were a random woman on a commercial that would never say a word to me, or a girl in my class that thought I was cute. Any woman, regardless of her self-stock, was a possibility for me.
Continue Reading Your Self-Stock (part 2) – Older Women Fuck Better
Reviews: Pulse II Duo by Hot Octopus
When we got this item in the mail, the presentation really impressed us. The boxing of the Pulse II almost feels like you are opening fine jewelry. The outside of the box has a nice mirror like effect, and the item is packaged with a small cloth pouch. It feels soft and looks almost like a toy built for royalty. The creators really took time in developing this tool. First impressions are everything, and this item looks so classy that I felt like I needed to go wash my penis before I dared put it around my cock.
Using the Pulse II Duo was an interesting experience. The website claims it is a tool to help with foreplay, and I agree. It is a great tool for foreplay. Imagine laying on your back and taking a Hitachi Wand and resting it across your penis/frenulum (the sensitive area underneath your head on the underside of your shaft). As you lay there, your lady friend gets on top of you and nicely places her clit and vagina on the other side of the Hitachi Wand. You both lay together and move with each other, waiting to see if either of you orgasm. Obviously, with the Hitachi Wand, you’d have the wand in the way, as well as the cord. With the Pulse II Duo, that isn’t an issue. It’s hands free. Literally, imagine just the head of the Hitachi Wand wrapped around your penis, with a vibrating pulse on the underside of your shaft, and a second vibrating pulse on the outside (for the vagina). No cord, no wand, no need for hands. It feels great and I experienced some things I had never experienced before, which is why this truly is a great tool for foreplay.