Category: Question & Answer

Your question, our answers.  Relationship advice, sex advice, and us fielding all types of questions from all over the internet.

September 9, 2013

Q&A: Is it time for me to settle down?

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settling downI am a few weeks shy of turning 27 and I have yet to settle down into a relationship and career. I have gone through several different job choices since finishing high school. Don’t get me wrong – it’s not as if I’m trying different jobs and failing, but I’m pretty good at everything I’ve attempted. I’ve been in a few long-term relationships, but I always seem to cut those short, too. Is that normal for someone my age? Do you have any insight?

Venice’s response:
I completely understand and can relate because I was in a somewhat similar situation. Although my parents are still married, there were a lot infidelity accusations. My mom turned to me as a confidante, which wasn’t a bad thing, but it made me doubt a man’s loyalty. It made me question if all men were cheaters and if I could ever stay with a man who didn’t treat me like a queen. Similarly, I wasn’t career-oriented either. I had a job, but it wasn’t a career.

It wasn’t until Ryan and I started getting serious with each other did I begin to think about settling down. We spent so much time talking, discussing, and ensuring we knew what the other wanted. He knew I had a history of not being committed to one person because no one ever showed me how a girl should be treated, so he let me know loyalty was his priority with me. He told me he loved me every day; he told me how beautiful I was; he told me how lucky he was to have found me – basically he changed my mind about there never being a man who would be 100% loyal to me – his heart, his mind, and his soul belonged to me, and that was a good feeling. My confidence in there being a man who was meant only for me grew stronger. I knew that the decisions we made were going to benefit us as a married couple, to strengthen us, and to make us a powerful team. After we got married, he encouraged me to finish school and focus on a career – two things that would not only help me, but our family. I knew I had a man who I could trust and therefore trust in the decisions we made in our lives.

With that being said, I believe that we all have an inner drive that pushes us – but only so far. With the help of someone we love, we can go even further than we’d ever imagined. It seemed like i had trust issues, and in turn, it made me not want to commit to anything (love, relationships, career, etc.). And when my faith in finding a good man was restored, everything just fell into place. As cheesy as it sounds, the right person can be the driving force to every good decision you make.

It seems like you have the capabilities to be happy in a long-term relationship and brains to be successful in any career that makes you happy. But the first step is allowing yourself to trust someone and give that person a chance to make you happy. Once that hurdle is overcome, so much good can come into your life. All you have to do is let it.

Ryan’s response:
Well, usually I do not read Venice’s answer prior to writing my own, but that really is a tough answer to follow.  

Every person is different so I do not think what is right for you at 27 was right for me at 27.  I came from a broken up family and unfortunately, moved my entire life.  This wasn’t by choice.  I went to 3 different middle schools and 4 different high schools.  Just to put that into perspective, my entire life was moving and all I wanted it to do was stop.  I wanted something that wouldn’t change, someone that wouldn’t leave me, someone that wouldn’t hurt me, and someone I could trust would always be there for me.  I didn’t just want it, I needed it.  By the time I was 18 I felt extremely unhappy and had never been in a real relationship.  I don’t just mean with a female, I mean I never even had a real friend.    I learned a lesson in commitment from the other side.   As much as I wanted to hold on to a friendship or stay in touch, noone else had that same urgency.  I can say with all sincerity, I was the last person to write all my friends before the letters stopped.  For me, all I wanted was a friend.  I wasn’t only open to commitment, I was dying for it.  And then I met Venice.   I guess you can fill in the rest of this paragraph with Venice’s. 

If you feel you have commitment issues, maybe see a counselor.  If you feel you just aren’t looking to settle down, then who are we to say that your feelings are wrong?  Whether it be a career or a long term boyfriend, there is no right or wrong.   I have learned that there is expected and disappointment, which we tend to turn into right or wrong.  You have to live for yourself.  When you feel it’s time, then it’s time. 

September 5, 2013

V’s Weekly Wet Inbox – Is Swallowing While Deepthroating Dangerous?

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deepthroating“I saw in a video you deepthroating your husband.  Supposedly you say he cums. How is the possible? Won’t it go into your lungs and give you pneumonia. Do you swallow or does it just disappear?”

I have done this enough times to know when my man cums, and I see it up close. I know when his dick gets extremely rock hard, he is about to cum within seconds. I know this because I can feel the hardness change as my throat gets tighter and there is less room for his dick to expand. I know when he gets goosebumps on his ass cheeks and inner thigh, he is about to cum or is already cumming. The point is, I know 30 seconds before he is about to cum, while he’s cumming, and when he’s done. I know a man’s body, or at least my man’s body. But I’m sure he’s not too different from most men in how their bodies react during an orgasm. During deepthroat, the penis goes down the esophagus, a muscular tube that extends from the neck to the abdomen and connects the mouth to the stomach, which does not lead or in any way connect to the lungs and do not pose a threat in contracting pneumonia.

Do I swallow the cum after the orgasm? In a way, yes, in that I am ingesting it. There is no actual swallowing motion because when his dick is pushed deep into my throat, my mouth and tongue are almost frozen in place, which also prevent me from breathing. However, I can make only the slightest muscle contractions in the very back of my throat which do less for swallowing and aiding the movement of the semen down the esophagus than it does for giving the dick a “blow job” feel. And, of course, the cum doesn’t just disappear. Like anything else you eat, it goes straight to your stomach where further processing of nutrients and vitamin commence.

I think the sexiest thing for me is knowing that I take his entire dick all the way down, cutting off my air supply, making my eyes water, and just knowing that in the end, my man shoots his load deep down into my throat. I can’t taste it because there are no taste buds that far back. I can’t feel an actual cum shot because of lack of nerve endings. This is probably one of my favorite (if not absolute favorite) position as I feel powerfess in a way that I have to trust my husband to not kill me with his dick and let me up for air. But it’s also empowering because I can turn the tables around on him by begging for more. The physical results are just as important as the symbolic

August 29, 2013

V’s Weekly Wet Inbox: How Does A Woman Learn To Love Anal

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analI hate anal and my boyfriend wants it bad. His last girlfriend liked it.  I feel like I have no choice.  Is it okay for me to not let him anal me and does that make me less of a woman?

I’d like to keep my wet inbox more about sex and the physical aspect, and less about relationships and/or relationship advice.  Unfortunately, I can’t control my motherly urges. 

First of all, it doesn’t make you less of a woman to not anal, just as it doesn’t make you any less of a woman who’s had a double mastectomy, hysterectomy, or shaved head.  I believe being a woman is more than the parts your born with – it’s a state of mind, your demeanor, and your outlook on things. 

Second, It’s poisonous to compare yourself to an ex because you’ll feel like you can never live up to his memories of her.  This can also be dangerous because he could use his past as a weapon against you.  “Well, my ex liked it.”  Very cowardly and not the best way to get your woman to do something. But since you’re comparing yourself to, use it to your advantage, use it as a point of reference.  Think of the wildest, nastiest anal porn you’ve seen and become that, only better.

You have the ability and the potential to be the best your man ever had.  I’ve never analled before and my man has never analled anyone before me.  But we’ve watched enough porn(amateur and professional) to know what constitutes a mind-blowing anal session.  Now, those women aren’t my man’s exes, but I take each viewing, each video, as arsenal to make me become a better lover.  The things I learned, the things I taught myself, and the things I enjoy now are things I never dreamed of doing when we first got together.

Here’s how I knew I loved analling (though this was not OUR first anal experience together): Ryan and I started in the missionary position.  His movements were slow and deep, hitting my cervix and hitting that sensitive spot that makes me feel like I have to pee.  I could feel my pussy getting wetter and wetter, so I started playing with my clit.  When he hits my ‘squirt’ spot, it’s not unusual for my juices to spill out of my body and drip down to my ass, ass hole, and all over the bed.   Knowing my ass was lubed with my own juices, I told him to put his cock in my ass.  I relaxed my ass muscles as he pulled out; I continued circling my clit.  My tight little hole grabbed around his dick as he slowly pushed in his head.  I moaned quietly as he pulled out just a little before driving back in even further.  For some reason, me being on my back as we analled felt amazing. As he pumped his hips, I begged for him to go deeper.  I felt like he could fit his entire cock in me – something I wanted to feel.  “Go deeper,” I told him. “Deeper,” I ordered.  The next thing I knew his balls were wet from the pussy juices that dripped down to my ass, which meant his whole dick was in my ass, and I loved it! 

In previous anal experiences (maybe once or twice a year for a 10-year period), although we’ve always made sure I had an orgasm while analling, using a vibrator or rubbing my clit while he was inside my ass, I never truly enjoyed the experience. Yes, I orgasmed, but never looked forward to it the way I do today. I guess so the male readers can understand, it’s like having sex with a woman who just lays there or masturbating to a Victoria’s Secret catalog that doesn’t show nudity – you orgasm, but you aren’t completely satisfied.  His dick hurt, even lubed up, it hurt. If my mind wasn’t excited about the experience, the pain was just pain. It made me feel like I was going to just poop the bed, and that’s really the feeling I focused on. Honestly, I didn’t want to have anal because I had a young woman mentality. He should have been happy with my pussy. Since he is not, I won’t be happy with his dick in my ass. Attitude is everything. Is that pride? Is that our egos? Is it the fact we didn’t grow up and think about our knight in shining armor rescuing us from a dragon and then taking us back to his castle and sticking his cock inside our ass holes?  I know one thing, as soon as I felt the urge to want to feel him fuck my ass, to have an urge to want to see my man be a man and fuck his woman’s ass, and just know I have the power to let him enjoy these moments, made everything beautiful. Learning to be in control, learning to throw away all the bullshit society teaches you what is right and wrong about sex, and learning to enjoy the pressure of a man sliding in your ass, the same way we learn to enjoy the pressure of a huge cock in our pussys making us scream with pleasure. Once the mind accepts the act, the pressure of a dick pounding your ass hole while you orgasm is greater than any Coke can sized cocked ramming your pussy. The pressure is intense beyond words and feels absolutely wonderful.

You can turn yourself on, make yourself wet (use extra lube to make easing in more comfortable), and mentally prepare yourself for an analling.  Don’t close your mind to it because you don’t know what you’re missing!

August 22, 2013

V’s Weekly Wet Inbox: My Boyfriend’s Small Penis

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HarryPotterMy boyfriend has a small penis or smaller than average penis and I want him to be confident and strong about his body, as if he is hung like a horse. What can I do to make him more confident?

Taking ownership of your man’s body and confidence is the best approach when it comes to this kind of situation. Does your man have the fattest or longest cock in the world? No. Is his the biggest you’ve ever had? If you’ve asked yourself this question, most likely the answer is no. You can’t change his dick size. But what you can do is change your attitude towards it.

 When I orgasm through oral sex, I promise, I only want Ryan to insert one finger halfway inside me.  It’s not sex and I do not want to brace myself for 4 fingers, a fist, or a huge horse cock sized dildo while enjoying oral sex.  I suppose so men can understand, would you prefer to feel a huge dildo or the tip of a finger inside your ass while getting a blow job?  I personally love to feel just the tip of Ryan’s finger, rubbing in a circle motion, which feels good on the surface nerve endings during oral sex. Now, as I orgasm I may moan for him to slam his whole finger inside me and let his fist pound on the outside of my vagina.  I do not mind that thrusting pressure, but I do mind when he decides to shove an extra finger inside me because it throws me off, making me focus on any impending pain.  I do not need this sensation. Basically, the pressure of his hand slamming against my lips and clit feels great, like when a man is as deep as possible inside you and his hips and crotch slam against your pussy mound.  That pressure feels great, and a woman with no dick at all can give this pressure. The rubbing inside doesn’t feel as good as the thrusting on the outside.  I understand everyone is different and not all women may enjoy what I enjoy, but I felt this was a good example on how any man can feel like the perfect man, regardless of his size.

You have no idea how much power you have as a woman, and fortunately, I believe this is an easy fix. Let your man know that you worship his body by telling him you love his dick. Tell him you love the texture of his shaft inside you. Text him throughout the day telling him that you can’t wait for him to fuck you. Send him pussy shots of yourself and tell him you need him to fill you up with his fat cock. When you give him a blow job, treat it like a big serving of cherry cheesecake, i.e. moan each time it enters your mouth, lick the sides like you want every crumb, and stuff your mouth each time you go down.

It’s not enough to say, “I love you, no matter how big you are” or “I’d love your dick even if it were 3 inches.” And it seems no matter what you say and how often you tell him, there’s just no boosting his confidence.

Tell him that he’s the biggest you’ve ever had and you don’t want any other dick. Make painful faces as you feel him deep inside you.  Now, the first part may not be true, but the second part should be. In his heart and mind he may not believe this to be true, but the more you keep telling him, the more he’ll believe that YOU believe it. I’m not saying lie to your boyfriend, but rather tell him what he needs to hear because it will help him to be more confidence, which in turn will help him perform better in the bedroom. You can turn any doubtful, reserved boy into a sex-machine with your actions.

Maybe I will include below some sex tips for men with small penises:

Continue Reading V’s Weekly Wet Inbox: My Boyfriend’s Small Penis

August 15, 2013

V’s Weekly Wet Inbox: How Did You Learn To Like Anal Sex?

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Anal Cum
Great sex includes anal.

 

Venice, how did you learn to like anal sex? I feel hurt my husband isn’t happy with just my vagina and oral sex.  Right now the anal sex itself hurts me, it gives me the “I have to poop” feeling, and I feel like as a woman I give up enough of myself already, why should he also have that area?  It wasn’t made for that.  Answers and advice please! 

After realizing vag sex put a limitation on our sex life, I knew I wanted to explore anal. It’s a new sensation that doesn’t compare to vag sex.  I’m not saying it’s better or worse, but I think every woman should try it at least once.  But before you do, open up your mind to the idea of analing as way to bring new excitement between you and your man.  If your mind doesn’t embrace it, you’ll hate it.  My initial techniques included playing with my clit to get myself wet and using my own juices to play with my ass hole.  I controlled how deep my fingers went in, how fast I fucked my own ass, and when I was ready to let my man stick his cock in me.  All the while he would watch me, stroking his dick to get himself hard.  Then he’d lube himself to make it even more easier to slide right in.

Control was a big issue for me, too, when it came to analing. Being in control made me enjoy it more because I was the one to tell him I was ready for him to fuck me, I controlled how fast he pumped, and I made him fuck me deep.

Don’t see it as “I give up enough of myself already.”  He’s your husband and a partner in everything you do, including sex.  There is no room for pride and shame in the bedroom.  Once I learned to love anal, I ASKED for it.  Sometimes we’d start off in my pussy, but then I would tell him to fuck my ass.  I make him hold my ankles up by my head and scream at him to fuck me deep.  To me the best feeling is when he puts his entire dick in me so that his balls are touching my lower back.  “Fuck my ass deep..Show me where you want to shoot your load.”  He pulls his cock almost all the way out before he rams it all the way, using his body weight as momentum to drive as deep as he can.  I can fuck like that all day. Even a pussy can only take so much cock, but the ass doesn’t have that same limitation.

Give it a try.  You will feel discomfort if you’re not used to it, but once your mind is ready to get fucked in the ass, your body (and ass) will yearn for it.