Your Penis Size Compared To An Average Woman’s Body

Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Penis Size with Comparisons To A Woman’s Body

The perception of penis size has become very warped. This is the result of a number of factors, including the advent of pornography, photography, photomanipulation, men that lie about their size, racism, and dishonest reporting of the penis size. This blog aims to change a few misconceptions about penis size through photos that compare a various sizes to a woman’s body.  

When one is looking to learn about the world, generalizations are fundamental. Those generalizations will be presented without citation. The strength of this blog is not the interpretation of scientific data.  We will simply post photos and let the photos be the research.

Let’s begin with the reality of the average Penis Size

The global average penis size is 5.1 – 5.5 inches (14 cm), and most likely toward the smaller end of this scale.  

Five point five inches. Five and a half inches. 5 1/2 inches.

5.5 in

5.5 inches



Sometimes different averages come up, because most sample sizes are random.   It would also depend on the location.  Sometimes it’s 4.9 inches, 5.1 inches, sometimes it’s 5.6 inches or even 6.1 inches.  What’s interesting is, if you took the time to research and average all the results with each other, your average would still be in the 5.5 inch range.   So for this articles sake, let’s go with the idea that the average human penis is typically about 5.5 inches long.

Accurately measuring your Penis Size

There is a right way to measure your penis is called Bone-Pressed Erect Length. To find your measurement you will first need to be erect.  Once erect, stand up, lay a hard ruler flat along the top of your penis, and push the ruler in towards your pubic bone. Try to straighten out any curve by gently pulling on the tip of your glans.  The farthest point the ruler reads is your standardized erect length.

Bone-Pressed Erect Length (BPEL) Steps:

  1. Start on the top side of your erect penis (the side of the penis facing up towards you when you look down). 
  2. Put the end of your ruler or measuring tape at the base of the penis, right up against the pubic bone (where the penis meets the body). If you have a curve, slightly straighten it by gently grabbing the tip of your glans.  Be sure to push past any excess fat or pubic hair so the ruler is right up against the bone. 
  3. Measure in a straight line from the pubic bone to the tip of the penis. 


That’s your actual penis length. According to a 2015 study, the average flaccid length is 3.6 inches, while the average length of an erect penis is 5.17 inches (Veale, 2015).  If you do any other technique, like not pressing against the fat, or measuring along the side or along the bottom, or reading the curve of a measuring tape down your glans, you are doing it wrong.

Why do some resources tell you to measure differently to get your penis size?

Here is your number 1 result from Google explaining how to properly measure your penis, which actually describes a totally improper method:

Here’s the(in)correct process on how to measure penis length:

  1. Grab a ruler or tape measure.
  2. Begin by putting the end at the tip of your penis.
  3. Measure in a straight line from the penis head, down the shaft, and then to the tip of your pubic bone.
  4. Don’t press the pubic bone, and push past any excess fat or pubic hair that may get in the way.
  5. Get the measurement at the pubic bone and note it down. That’s your real measurement.


This is incorrect.  Because every person has a different sized FUPA  (fat upper pubic area), you would have inaccurate measurements that will change with weight loss / weight gain.   If a guy is overweight with 7 inches bone pressed erect length, his fat pad on his pubic bone would hide some of his penis size.  If a guy is skinny who is 7 inches bone pressed erect length, he will not have much fat on his pubic area and may measure closer to 7 inches (his measurement would be closer to his bone pressed erect length).  Does this mean the guy with less fat has a bigger 7 inch dick?  Maybe in a sense of what can penetrate a woman, but scientifically, measuring from the pubic bone would be an absolute size that ignores the FUPA, the weight of the man, or his genetics regarding the fat on his pubic bone area.  Therefore, bone pressing would be the only way to accurately measure a man’s penis, because his size will not change depending on his weight.  Even though the chubby guy with 7 inches may only be able to penetrate a woman with 4 to 5 inches, depending on his FUPA, he still measures 7 inches from his pubic bone.   If he lost weight, the size that penetrates would change.  However, his bone pressed erect length would remain the same.  And this is why bone pressed erect length is the most accurate way to measure a penis.

The reasons behind the misinformation on how to measure penis size.

Why do people insist on non-bone-pressed erect length measurements?  Some of the reason is insecurity.  A lot of guys need to see porn stars or others and focus on the length that penetrates the woman.  It is common for a man to use his bone-pressed measurement as his size, while telling his own ego or partner the length of a porn star non-bone-pressed.  This gives his own ego and/or partner a warped perception of his size or how porn has camera tricks that make them look so huge.  Porn does have camera tricks, but most porn stars are also well above average.  If his penis is 7 inches bone-pressed, and a popular porn star that is huge measures 7 inches non-bone-pressed, most people do not know the difference.  It’s misleading, but it would be the truth in a weird warped way.   

Other reasons studies use the non-bone-pressed erect length measurement is because the study is being done by a research team that is working in the condom industry.  They would not need to study the dick that all the way to your fat pad when developing condoms, just the useable shaft. So they tend to focus on non-bone-pressed erect length more than your actual size.

No legitimate study would ever consider using anything other than the bone-pressed method simply because it would make no sense to judge a person’s dick size with body weight and body fat being a variable that can change a man’s size.  And what sense does it make to use a control that can change depending on what you ate that week?

A Popular photo that floats around various communities that judge measurements the same way shoe collectors inspect “real or fake” shoes posts online.  Yes, it’s that serious.

Other than the zero-end rule being flawed, this photo is still a great example of the different ways men measure.  Again, measure however you want and show your woman all the best sizes, but just do not post online!  You can’t beat the internet.  It will be criticized if you do not check all those boxes. Personally, I and many others disagree with the zero-end rule.  The fat pad in the pubic area varies with different men, especially depending on your weight.   A larger man may have more fat than a skinny guy, so you’d need to press to the bone.  Which is the entire concept of a bone-press measurement, it will NOT change.  This extra fat may block the zero-end.  The zero-end visible seems to be a very strict way of measuring for those that study dicks, dick sizes, and dick measuring techniques like astrophysicists study the universe.  

So what does an accurately measured 6.25 inch penis look like on an average woman?

Here is what the 6.25 inch erect penis from the photo above looks like scaled accurately and compared to a woman 5’4″ and 110-115 lbs.  For the record, 5’4 is the average height for women.   As with all averages, there are shorter and taller, but on average, women are 5’4 tall.  Look at the comparison of a 6 inch penis covering a woman of average height.  This 6 inch size can obviously give an average height woman all the deep penetration she desires.

Continue Reading Your Penis Size Compared To An Average Woman’s Body

How to Have Huge Cum Shots

How to Have Huge Cum Shots

First, everything mentioned is supplements you can buy on Amazon, Wal-Mart, or any retail location.  However, when taking supplements, please do your own research.  We are not responsible for any side effects you may have.   Everything below is my own experience, while taking each supplement for a month (one month natural for comparison / one month taking just 1 of the supplements below exclusively).   Any supplement I took that I did not see any effect, I did not list below.    At the end or this project I took each supplement that I felt gave me huge cum shots and put them in a stack and tried it out for a month to see the results.  

Before we get into the supplements, lets go over a few tried-and-true techniques that increase your loads.

Exercise that help with huge cum shots

KegelsKegel exercises for men can strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which support the bladder and bowel and affect sexual function.   The stronger your pelvic floor muscle, the longer  you can hold your load.  Once you release, this will create the illusion of much huge cum shots because your semen will launch much further.

How to Kegel:

  • Find the right muscles. To identify your pelvic floor muscles, stop urination in midstream or tighten the muscles that keep you from passing gas. These maneuvers use your pelvic floor muscles. Once you’ve identified your pelvic floor muscles, you can do the exercises in any position, although you might find it easiest to do them lying down at first.
  • Perfect your technique. Tighten your pelvic floor muscles, hold the contraction for three seconds, and then relax for three seconds. Try it a few times in a row. When your muscles get stronger, try doing Kegel exercises while sitting, standing or walking.
  • Maintain your focus. For best results, focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles. Be careful not to flex the muscles in your abdomen, thighs or buttocks. Avoid holding your breath. Instead, breathe freely during the exercises.
  • Repeat 3 times a day. Aim for at least three sets of 10 repetitions a day.

The mental step to huge cum shots

More so than any supplement or muscle exercise, being extremely turned on and foreplay can help with huge cum shots.  As you get older you may notice you are less excited during sex, which can lead to smaller loads.  Try to find a mental space, foreplay, or maybe add toys/videos to your bedroom to get you both excited.  Communicate and let your partner know what type of dirty talk turns you on, or what she could do extra to send you over the top.    The more excited you are, the more you will cum.


The longer you wait to orgasm, the larger your cum shot will be.  It’s as simple as that.  If you quit masturbating or having sex for a few days, your prostate will be loaded with a huge load that will impress any woman.  Do that with the mix of the recipe below?  You may actually drown her.  The real question is, can you abstain from sex or masturbating?

Supplements that help with huge cum shots

  • Celery Seed Extract:  1500mg.  Taken 1 time daily (or just eat celery) 
    Increase Orgasm Intensity:  YES.  Because it makes your semen thicker, the ejaculation feels much better.  Much like rubbing your taint increases the intensity, so does a huge thick load passing through your balls and shaft.
    Increase Amount of Cum: YES.  It gives much more volume as well as makes your semen much thicker.  You will see an increase within a day after eating Celery or taking Celery supplements.
    Side Effects:  I didn’t have any side effects from eating Celery.   
  • Zinc: 25mg Strength. Taken 1 time daily. 
    Increase Orgasm Intensity: NO
    Increase Amount of Cum: YES.   Zinc definitely increased the amount of semen but did not change the thickness.
    Side Effects:  Taking 25mg of Zinc makes me feel a bit off for a few hours but nothing particular.  My wife says although the quantity is bigger, the flavor is much more bitter than cum shots while not taking zinc supplements.
  • Pygeum: 100mg Strength. Taken 2 times daily. Total = 200mg
    Increase Orgasm Intensity: NO
    Increase Amount of Cum: YES.   I noticed more pre-cum while erect.  This supplement seems to keep the prostate less engorged and effect pre-cum and the Cowper’s gland.
    Side Effects:  A lot of people use this supplement for enlarged prostate, and some side effects have been reported.  Other than leaking a lot more while erect, I didn’t have any side effects.
  • Lecithin: 1200mg Strength. Taken 1 time daily. 
    Increase Orgasm Intensity: YES.  Anytime you can get your semen thicker, it will make your orgasm more intense.
    Increase Amount of Cum: YES.  I noticed bigger loads, thickness and amount of ejaculate.
    Side Effects:   None.
  • Pineapple Extract:  500mg (or just eat pineapple)
    Increase Orgasm Intensity: NO.
    Increase Amount of Cum: NO
    Side Effects:   It can make your semen and pre cum much sweeter.   We listed this supplement to help with the flavor, especially to counter the bitter effects taking Zinc did to the flavor of my semen.

The Cum Holy Grail

These results led me to do one more test. I tested all of the supplements that I saw good results with as a supplement stack. Celery Seed, Pineapple Extract, Lecithin, Pygeum, Zinc. I kept the same dosage and tested it for one last month.  

I have discovered the holy grail of orgasms.

  1. Celery Seed Extract Supplments = 1500mg (or just eat celery)
  2. Zinc, 50mg Strength, Taken 1 time daily = 50mg
  3. Pygeum, 100mg Strength, Taken 2 times daily = 200mg
  4. Lecithin, 1200mg Strength, Taken 1 time daily = 1200mg
  5. Pineapple Extract Supplments = 500mg (or just eat pineapple

If you want to see more thick loads, check out a kinky subreddit all about huge cum shots: r/thickloads  

What Does It Feel Like To Cum In A Woman’s Throat

What Does It Feel Like To Cum In A Woman’s Throat

Although some readers may feel this question is more of, “Just try it…”   It’s hard to “just try it” when the woman you are committed to or in love with can’t deep throat so they may never know what it feels like to cum in a woman’s throat.  Or doesn’t want to deep throat.  When watching videos isn’t enough and you want to read what it feels like, rather than watch it, these blogs can come in handy.

When trying to explain what it feels like to cum down a woman’s throat, I must first talk about the two common positions  most women deep throat.  One would be with her faced upright toward you.  Although this is the most common position you see in porn, it is much harsher on her throat and your penis than the alternative position.  This is because no matter how wide she opens her mouth, you will feel her teeth on the way down her throat.  Look at the illustrations and the angle the dick has to bend.  It is also much harder for a woman to relax since the natural curve of your erect penis (unless you have a downward curve) will be pushing against the back of her throat trying to go up her sinus opening rather than down her throat.   Going up the throat doesn’t sound very pleasant huh?  And it’s not just rough for her, it’s also rough on your dick. 

For me, this position has actually caused my uretha to bleed!?!  The bottom teeth can be like little razors and if you slam your hard dick a bit too hard, a woman may tense up and tighten her jaw.   I got a bit too aggressive and injured myself being deepthroated.  In fact, when I came, it was bloody.  Ouch. 

Not exactly what you thought you would be reading when you clicked on this blog huh?  I blame the alcohol and being a bit too overzealous.    Grabbing the back of a woman’s head and forcing her to deep throat your cock visually seems great, but realistically, it’s extremely rough.   On you and her.  Be careful.

The best position to cum in a girl’s throat.

The alternative position is face fucking.   This is a position when the woman lays below you and you fuck her mouth exactly how you would fuck her vagina.   In my case, I can slide my dick all the way in my wife’s throat, straddling her head with my thighs, and going balls deep inside her mouth.  Because of the shape of my penis, the angle naturally goes right down her throat.   If she slightly looks up or hangs her head off the bed, it creates a direct path down her esophagus.  This also helps her relax a lot more so her jaw isn’t tense, which helps you avoid the teeth.  Since my wife has no gag reflex I can press hard against her face and feel her chin bone on my upper crotch and her nose bone smashing against my balls.  This pressure of her upper lip and nose against my balls feels amazing.  The harder I press, the deeper I go, the better it feels.  

There are so many sensations in a woman’s mouth that are hard to explain, but I will try.  First there are a woman’s actual lips, which can pucker up and create an anus like sensation on  your dick, depending on how tight she puckers.  However, when a woman is tightening her lips, her teeth tend to rub hard over the penis so I prefer my wife to open as wide as she can.  This takes a lot of trust, as she must be totally relaxed to keep her mouth open wide, throat totally ready, and teeth off your shaft.   If I was rough or wasn’t careful, I could slam my dick into the back of her throat and injure her.  The goal for me is to make sure I am sliding and following her tongue down her throat.   There have been times when I have pulled up a bit too much and slammed my dick back into her mouth and instead of it going down her throat, it hits her tonsils and bends my dick, hurting us both.  So rather than letting my dick go wherever it wants, I have to make sure I slide it in a controlled manner and always feel for the hole in the back of her throat.   Much like when you are having sex with a vagina, if you pull too far out, you may miss her hole and slide up her crotch (or down her ass crack).   

Continue Reading What Does It Feel Like To Cum In A Woman’s Throat

Q&A: I Got Drunk, Had Sex on my Period, and Said Too Much!? Did My Dirty Talk Go Too Far?

Q&A: I Got Drunk, Had Sex on my Period, and Said Too Much!? Did My Dirty Talk Go Too Far?

I am a 20 something female that went out with my boyfriend last night and got a bit too drunk. I was on my period so it was supposed to be just a casual night of hanging out.  However, when I drink I do get extra horny.  I remember blowing him in the parking lot and agreeing to go up to his place.

At  his place it went from me keeping my pants on sucking his dick, to me being stripped nude with my bloody pad on the floor getting my brains fucked out and bleeding all over him and his bed. 

Normally our dirty talk during sex is mostly:   I love you or I am yours.   Since I was drunk I said a bit more than I wanted to.

From what I recall the things I said were along the lines of, “Oh my God, you popping my cherry with your huge dick.  How am I losing my virginity again?!”  “Your cum turns me on. I want to swallow your cum.”    “The thought of you impregnating me turns me on.”   “I want to have your babies, make sandwiches for you barefoot, be fucked by you every day, and be your submissive for the rest of my life…”   

By the way, none of this fits my personality.  I am a more assertive person, yet conservative.   I do not want to be dominated nor do I want my boyfriend to make me his sex slave.  But for whatever reason, in the heat of the moment and drunk, I just let all my little girl quotes out and gave him the full kitchen sink.

We have talked about getting married so it’s not thaaat big of a deal. I remember he was enjoying it when we were doing it. But now that I remember that night I can’t help but be embarrassed for some reason. I mean I said I wanted to be barefoot and make sandwiches for you?? While we were having sex! I have no idea where did all that come from. He has been busy with work for now but I am dreading his phone call. I don’t feel like talking to him or meeting him for sometime now.

Venice’s response  to dirty talk too far

I’m going to be dead serious here.  What’s the problem? 

Dirty talk is mental porn for your partner, and something all women should learn to do.   If I ever write a book on giving a man perfect sex, it would include an entire chapter on talking dirty and saying all the things his brain thought about for the first 16 years of his life when he was alone in his room masturbating to all his little dirty secrets and fantasies.   Not only that, dirty talk is how you can introduce different kinks that you or him may want to try.   Because kinks can keep a relationship young and healthy.   Too this day, my husband and I still talk through things we have never thought about doing, simply by going into long conversations about sex and dirty talk.  What better way to break the ice or find out for yourself what type of thoughts turn you on?  But you don’t always have to practice what you speak, and if you are insecure about this, make sure you let your partner know, whatever you say during sex, is just fantasy.   Because you can give your partner threesomes, gang bangs, and every other possible scenario he has ever thought of, by simply talking dirty.   This goes both ways, you both can talk and turn each other on more than rubbing hot spots on your body or trying to find that sensitive spot behind his ear that gets him erect.  Your voice, your thoughts, your imagination, will turn him on just as much as anything you can do physically.  And the same goes for you.  You’ll find yourself more wet than you’ve been in your entire life while talking about things you thought were taboo and dirty.   

Now, your kink was about commitment and marriage.   Obviously this is something that turns you on right now.  You want a long term dick and he fucks you so good you would make him dinners for the rest of his life just to get that dick each night.  Awesome!   There is nothing to be ashamed about.  Just don’t forget that this type of dirty talk should progress throughout your relationship.  Never forget later, when you are married, that this type of communication helped open your relationship.  In fact, this dirty talk may lead to you actually getting married.  So later, remember that when you want to try new things.   Or remember that when he may want to try new things.   Dirty talk is the best way to introduce these new ideas that “embarrass” us when we aren’t drunk or horny.  It’s okay.

Ryan’s response to dirty talk too far

There is nothing wrong with dirty talk, especially any of the examples you gave.  He probably feels the same way as you since it probably wasn’t his intentions to fuck you while you were on your period.  That’s probably equally as humbling as all the dirty talk you gave him.  There is nothing closer to marriage sex than throwing out all your inhibition and sticking your penis inside a woman while she bleeds all over you.  That’s not something you do with a casual girlfriend.   

You both seemed to be really horny and caught up in the moment.  This isn’t something to be embarrassed about, it’s what will make the best sexual experiences of your life. Embrace this drunk, wild, uninhibited version of yourself.   Rather than being ashamed, open a healthy line of communication and ask him what he felt about the dirty talk last night.  There is nothing wrong with talking kinky, even to the extreme of marriage talk, as long as you both know it’s just dirty talk.  Some women have kinks and talk dirty about how big their partners dick is during sex, even if it isn’t big.  Some women have have humiliation/cuckold kinks and will tell their man his penis is tiny (even if he is normal sized), and some women like the idea of being fucked so good that it makes you want to marry the person.  It’s the ultimate compliment, but make sure your partner understands it’s just your extreme way of making the experience more intense for you. 

Oral Sex and Fingering for Dummies

Oral Sex and Fingering for Dummies.   We found this cool little guide that was posted anonymously online and decided to share it with our readers.  In the article you will notice we personally add our own commentary, from a woman’s perspective.  



This Sex and Fingering guide is not meant to be followed every time you have an encounter; pay attention to breathing, body language and sounds while having fun, and adapt things as necessary. Every encounter is unique. Steps have long explanations, but they don’t need to take long.

Step 0: Consent, Contraceptives, STD protection

  •  Make sure  to talk with your partner about having a plan for contraception before having oral sex (or fingering). / Her perspective:  You can get STDs from oral sex, fingering, and any body to body contact where you are penetrating inside another person’s body.  
  • Make sure the other person is feeling safe, appreciated and respected, and that they are reciprocating.
  • Talk about this stuff in the appropriate context (don’t just come out of the gate with it), but treat it with naturality. If you feel like it’s normal to about this stuff, it will come out as normal.
  • Talk about your partners boundaries.  Respect your partners boundaries. A no is a no, a stop means full stop, no questions asked besides asking if they are okay.
  • At some point, you will need to define the boundaries of your relationship and what both of you want.
  • Talk about your partners kinks and preferences, soft no’s and hard no’s. Tell your partner yours.

Step 1:Preparation

  • Before an encounter, it’s important to lay the groundwork.
  • This means, be flirty with texts (not creepy, just flirty). Don’t overdo it. Just see how they respond and increase or decrease the heat from there.
  • Be interested and reciprocate. Ask about how their day went, about interests, hopes, dreams and such. I like listening to people’s stories, so even if it’s a hookup, I’d like to know them. This is personal, but I’m more attracted to people I am interested in.
  • In your bag: condoms, water based lube, towels. A change of clothes in your car. / Her perspective:  I prefer Coconut Oil as a lube, but remember, coconut oil and latex condoms do not play well together, so this may be for something to use once you and your partner are not using condoms.   
  • Have condoms on you at all times. Preferably not in walled or in places they can get wrinkled, and don’t forget them in the glovebox of your car, as heat may ruin them.
  • TRIM YOUR FINGERNAILS. If you put your nails inside your mouth, against your cheeks and you can feel the nail, you might hurt a vagina while fingering. / Her perspective:   Nothing is worse than long nails or dirty short nails.  Let’s not just how horrible long fingernails feel, but fingernails also carry bacteria.  I find it amusing how many women get a yeast or urinary tract infection after a first experience with a man.  I usually hear this is because they believe their bodies aren’t used to the PH balance of his body fluids or his dirty little penis.   In all honesty, if his fingernails aren’t groomed and cleaned properly, that is possibly the actual culprit of why some women end up dealing with various infections after a new encounter.  CLEAN, TRIM, and take care of your damn fingernails!

Step 2: Foreplay

  • This means flirting, teasing, kissing and using your hands.
  • About flirting and teasing: it’s okay to be inexperienced. Take it easy and  don’t overdo it, pay attention to body language, sounds, and most importantly, what you partner says turns them on. Go from there. Listening is the most important thing. / Her perspective:  In my experience with different bi/lesbian women, as much as I have heard that women know a woman’s body, so far, women have been the worse fingering and oral sex experiences I have had.  They are either too rough, or they expect to make a woman orgasm in minutes.  No patience or stamina to actually get an orgasm from me.   Most of the oral/fingering from other women have been horrible experiences, especially if a woman doesn’t communicate or ignores body language.  Ask a person what they enjoy, don’t be ignorant.   And pay attention to body language!
  • As far as kissing goes, it comes with practice. Erogenous zones are are usually neck, earlobes, tights. Gently biting their lips can be a good move. But again, pay attention to your partner’s response. 
  • Same thing with hands. Slowly guide your hands all over their body, without touching genital areas or sexual places, like ass and breasts. At maximum, gently glide over them to tease your partner. Be super patient and pay attention, and you WILL find her special spots. / Her perspective: Although having my breasts and ass rubbed can get some of us in the mood, don’t forget to focus on our legs, tummies, and feet.  If you nicely rub our bodies in areas we are insecure about and mention how sexy we feel, or how nice our body looks, you will find your words massaging our ears are much more powerful than your palms grabbing our asses.
  • If you really want to tease a woman, stay away from the most obvious area that she is waiting for you to touch.  With her pants and panties on, touch everywhere around her vagina, without touching the seams on her pants where her vagina is at.   Even go as far as grinding your fingers into the cracks of her ass over her clothes and add pressure to where the rim of her ass would probably be. Avoid groping her vagina.  This will eventually give her blue labia (blue balls) and she will either moan for you to touch her vagina, or you’ll feel her pants getting moist.   Her perspective:  Yes please!
  • At this point, you can do a slow burn and start being more aggressive, or go with the explosive route and touch them like they are begging you to do. My personal preference is to take her pants off at this stage, and glide over her panties with my fingers, near the vagina and clit, indicating that I will go there next.  If you are doing everything right and taking your time, you will probably notice that the crotch area of her panties are soaking wet.  This is a huge sign that you are on the right track with your foreplay.  Undoing her bra and grabbing her breasts are also okay, but don’t be to anxious.   And remember, make sure you talk to her and tell her how hot and sexy her body is to you. / Her perspective:  If everything was done right, you will be able to feel the best part of a woman.  The clear sweet froth that drips from our bodies when we are extremely turned on.   And don’t start getting crazy or going to fast like as if you have turned into a tasmanian devil.  Most woman aren’t turned on by a grown man that acts like a 2 year old who is starving for his ba ba the first time he sees a woman’s breasts.   Aggression is okay, but keep it controlled.

Step 3: Fingering and oral

  • Pleasure is your goal, not orgasm. 
  • MAKE SURE YOU ARE USING THE HAND YOU TRIMMED. / Her perspective:  TRIM BOTH OF YOUR HANDS, and also use both.   Showing us you are clean as well as ambidextrous in the bedroom lets us know we are about to have a great experience.
  • If you have a free hand at any moment, make sure it’s being used to explore her body/do more sensual touching.
  • The vagina has an anterior wall. The g-spot is a few inches in that wall after the entrance, upwards towards her stomach, not down towards her anus.
  • You shouldn’t go straight to fingering. “Touch the clit first, before putting fingers inside. Stroke it gently, rub little circles, get her excited. Often a finger inside can make this feel even better but it’s not even necessary always.”
  • Start with 1 finger, gauge response. You wanna do the come hither motion on the g-spot. After a while, gently put another finger in. Do everything gently at the start. Maintain the come hither motion, but you can start being creative. Some women might prefer circular motions, others might prefer continuous pressure. / Her perspective:  Two fingers isn’t necessary at all.  I am not sure why men like to stuff as much as they can inside a woman, but that is what your penis is for.   1 finger nicely rubbing inside my body, finding my spots, is all I need.   In fact, one finger with a tongue flicking my clit will get me off every time.
  • When things start getting hot and heavy, do the come hither motion with more strength or faster, or use more strength to apply continuous pressure. If she says anything like (“yes, just like that!”), KEEP DOING IT. DO NOT CHANGE IT UP. / Her perspective: This is where body language matters.  Lesbians and men that have watched “how to” videos on making women squirt, and all the other sources that mention “come hither”, be careful.  Every person is different.  Personally, rubbing your fingers in a upward motion too much inside my vagina will irritate my body.  Although some women may love it, a lot don’t.  So watch her body language and if she tries to move up and away, do not follow her body as if she is only trying to get away because “it’s so hot to her she can’t take it anymore!!!!”   No, she is scooting up letting you know it feels uncomfortable.  She may even fake an orgasm to get you to stop.  In my experience, as well as surveying other women, most women admit to faking orgasms when they are trying to be “polite”, don’t want to hurt a guys feelings, and just want the experience to stop.  Whether the sex is going too long, the fingering is painful and irritating, or she just wants the entire experience to be over.   Stop expecting results from your fingers.  It’s just a tool, not the end game.
  • You can kiss her/her body all over until you decide to go down.
  • At some point during this, I like to incorporate oral sex, if it’s a partner I trust and/or we did STD screening. There are a million ways to do oral. Don’t go straight for the clit, it might be too sensitive. Explore everything down there: the major labia, minor labia. Start with a feather touch with your tongue, and add pressure as necessary. You can do a licking motion like a cat, circular motion, or suck her clit. Be creative, but better than that is to listen when she tells you that’s good or when she outright tells you how she prefers oral.
  • Be patient and don’t pressure her to orgasm, this can take a while. So make sure you are in a comfortable position. / Her perspective:  I’ve taken a few minutes up to a few hours to reach an orgasm through oral sex.   The technique doesn’t have to change, my orgasms aren’t something I can control.   It can feel perfect, and still, sometimes I will need hours to climax.  I can’t control the “switch”.  Just a few weeks ago it took me 3 hours to orgasm.   So if you are dedicated to pleasing your woman, get comfortable.  If your arms go numb or your tongue and jaw hurts,  don’t be afraid to stand up and move around.  Ask your partner if she wants you to get her some water or something to drink.   Let her know how much you love going down on her and you will go back down in a few minutes.  With proper communication, this works.   You can also make sure to have a playlist ready with music you both enjoy and a candlelit lamp that gives a good ambience.  Set the mood for her and yourself.   Like I said, no lesbian has ever made me orgasm through oral sex.  They go hard (way too hard for me) for 10 minutes at most, and if I don’t fake by then, they will stop.   This has been my experience with multiple women that have all bragged about making their partners cum every time.  I find that men will go hours and are to the task, no matter how long it takes.  Again, this is my experience.
  • She might squirt, so be prepared for that. / Her perspective: If you have talked to your partner prior, most women that squirt will hint that they squirt.  Whether it be voluntary or involuntarily.  Personally I have experienced that women will squirt when you have hinted that you enjoy that type of play.   And I have experienced that when I let the woman know we are not interested in squirting, they tend to be able to orgasm without repainting the room in girl grool and urine.  Communication is the key here.
  • She might want to stop after a while, either because she is overwhelmed, or she wants penetration, or she is satisfied even without an orgasm, or something went wrong. Make sure to listen and learn for the next encounter if that is the case.
  • If she is overwhelmed, it’s time for cuddles and pillow talk.
  • If she wants penetration, remember the most important thing, besides communication and consent: don’t be anxious and tease her.  Don’t just take your clothes off, use previously learned weak points until she is begging for it. Strip little by little. 
  • Nina Hartley  has a very good video on positions. Angling your dick towards her g-spot to continue the stimulation from before is really fun, and you grind your pelvis against her clit to stimulate it (this is called the coital alignment technique). / Her perspective:  Notice in the video linked that it’s okay to talk with a partner.  Not all sex is like a porn video where you do not talk and just fuck.   Communicate!  Also notice that using a vibrator, regardless of how the finger is moving, is the key to making a fingering session perfect.  Be open to toys, because a finger is complimentary to a tongue or toy, not the end game.  As a girl I never sat around dreaming about how I couldn’t wait to orgasm from someone’s fingers.  Much like 70% of women cannot come through just penis penetration, they also cannot come from just your fingers.   Snap out of fantasy land and understand the tools you have, and what you can add to these tools to give your partner a great experience!