The Blowjob Bible

Great article contributed to the internet anonymously, so we decided to add to it and share it with our readers.  Thank you internet.

Oral-sex-banana-300x225Contributors to this article are women, straight men who know what they like, and gay and bisexual men (they have given and received).  There’s a lot to blowjobs, and it’s important to know that everyone is different, there is no magic technique that will bring every guy back for more.

Table of Contents

  • How do you receive head well?
  • How do you know if you’re giving good head?
  • Your enjoyment of the blowjob you’re giving
  • Preparation
  • Lubrication
  • Stimulation
  • Using your mouth (tongue, lips, cheeks, dealing with the hard surfaces)
  • Using your hands
  • Using your hands: Extending your mouth’s reach
  • Using your hands: Grip
  • Using your hands: Angle of cock
  • Using your hands: Steadying his cock
  • Using your hands: The scrotum
  • Don’t forget the rest of the body
  • Phases of blowjobs: Beginning
  • Phases of blowjobs: Middle
  • Phases of blowjobs: Approaching his orgasm
  • Phases of blowjobs: During his orgasm
  • Phases of blowjobs: After his orgasm ​
  • The biggest secrets behind his greatest blowjob

How do you receive head well?

It seems to be common knowledge that many guys aren’t active enough in their feedback when it comes to receiving blowjobs. This is a failing of the school system in that Sex Ed in school isn’t comprehensive enough. They should be teaching us to be better lovers as well as safe lovers. Not with practical demonstrations, there are moral and legal issues with that abound, but tips and tricks would be useful.

Guys, the feedback you should be giving to be useful is:

  • Moaning if you enjoy something,
  • Telling the person gracing your cock with their lips if they’re scraping with teeth and you don’t like it,
  • Telling the person gracing your cock with their lips if they’re scraping with teeth and you do like it – Do you want more? Tell them…
  • Saying “Keep going” if you’re enjoying the way they’re doing something
  • Saying “Speed up” or “slow down” if it would help your enjoyment.
  • Saying “Could you use more saliva/lube?”
  • If you’re not enjoying it, you’re (probably) not obligated to keep going while the other person gets frustrated from getting no reaction out of you. Try switching to something else.

How do you know if you’re giving good head?

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Review: Naughty Cookies by The Naughty Cookie Box

When I think of novelty goods, I immediately think that quality will be compromised. Why? Darth DickBecause of Emotion Lotion. Emotion Lotion was a brand name of personal lubricant that you can use alone or with a partner. “Gets warm when you rub it, gets hot when you blow on it — tastes great!” It boasted. A long time ago, my kid brother asked me to buy a bottle for him. At the time I believe they were sold at Frederick’s of Hollywood and of course, he didn’t want to be seen going into a ladies lingerie shop to buy it. So I bought him a bottle of Pina Colada Emotion Lotion (or was it Cinnamon?) the next day. Easiest $5 I ever made. But before I gave it to him, I asked if I could rub a little drop on my hand to see if I would be a victim of human combustion. That, and to see if it did, in fact, “taste great.”

Not surprisingly, I neither caught on fire nor did it have a delectable concoction of pineapples and coconut lingering on my tongue. I came to believe the sex industry and the world of food were just not meant to collide. Why couldn’t Nabisco make a quality edible condom? Why couldn’t Sara Lee make a massaging lotion so good that it’ll make me want to slap my mama? WHY? Soon after I stopped pondering over the edible panties. Sorry Spencer’s Gifts – you’re only good for The Walking Dead bobbleheads, 3-foot birthday cards, and 16-month naughty firefighter calendars.

Which brings us to ( cock cookies ). Who wouldn’t like to get cock cookies? Like many times before, I assumed it would just be another cookie cutter cookie, pun completely intended. The first thing I noticed was the intricate attention to detail: the colors, the artistry. It’s very easy to see that each one is made meticulously by hand. Clearly, they take pride in making a product that they can be proud of and that will make any first-time customer a repeat customer. I think the biggest surprise was how good these were. I expected a Royal Dansk Danish Butter Cookie taste – very crumbly, dry, and stale. Instead, it’s a firm, shortbread that melts in your mouth when sucked on. How do I know? Because I sucked on the Speedo wearing co(o)ckie until it was a tiny little mound of wet pastry on my tongue.

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Q&A: Are You Satisfied Without Having Orgasms?

orgasmThis Question and Answer is a bit different because I am responding to a comment from a recent blog: Sexcapades – Pillow Talk.

As I typed my answer I realized it was a bit long winded so I decided it deserved a blog of its own.  It’s a great question.

[pullquote align=”full” cite=”” link=”” color=”#8a2714″ class=”” size=””]Would you mind explaining this dynamic further? Do you do this often? While it’s certainly described as pleasurable for you, are you satisfied without having an orgasm?[/pullquote]

Venice’s response:
I can orgasm whenever I want. Whether it be before, during, or afterwards. What’s interesting is, I usually have plateaus inside of my vagina (this drug-like “high” feeling) that makes my cervix muscles twitch while I am being fucked. Almost like mini orgasms that can happen in almost any position, at almost any time, and with or without purposeful provocation or stimulation. Maybe that’s why sex feels so physically good for me. I guess I do not write about them because it’s not as important to me. What was more important and sexy for me in Sexcapades – Pillow Talk, was the experience. When being dominated or taken, it’s about being used, not counting my orgasms. I’ll try to explain it better below.

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Review: Fidelity G-Spot (Double Penetration) by Masturgasm

Let’s start this review off with a bit of a disclaimer.  We really just do reviews for fun, not to be the most informative or sex toy gurus in the sex blogosphere. If you are a long time reader, then you know most of our blogs are light-hearted and fun.  If you are new to our site and reading reviews to get accurate research information on a sex toy that you are planning on sticking inside your anus, you may want to check out another site.  This is not what we do.

So let’s talk about Masturgasm. We browsed there catalog and saw a variety of toys that looked interesting to say the least. Even if you aren’t in the market for sex toys, their catalog is a blog topic in itself.  Awesome looking butt plugs shaped like fat girls, animal penises, and even a dildo that is shaped like Darth Vader.  I seriously didn’t even skim the top of all the variety they have.  Anything you can think of has been turned into a dildo.  Looking for a semi truck with a flat tired on the side of a highway on the planet Mars?  They have it! Not only do they have it, they also have that truck drivers penis molded in the shape of a tire iron.  Crazy dildos for crazy nights indeed.

Fidelity_G_SpotWhat we decided to do was be a little less crazy and try out the Fidelity G-Spot.   You know, a simple double penetration, clitoris massager, cock ring, and ball stretcher all in one.  Yea, pretty much we were not going to go crazy at all.  Just an average day here for Venice and I at

I’ve never seen anything like this before so I will give my opinion from my perspective and Venice will write a short review of her experience with the toy as well.

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Sexcapades – Pillow Talk

Rough SexMy alarm went off as it always does. And like I always do, I extend my legs and arms and do a quick stretch to wake up. Although I’m not a morning person, every morning I look forward to waking up Ryan. I know that our mornings make his day, but it also makes mine. After the last bit of yawning and stretching, I begin to prop myself up. Today, however, Ryan scoots his body close to mine like we’re about to spoon. He pulls my hips toward him and starts to rub between my legs. I know exactly what he wants, so I grab the jar of coconut oil that I keep on my side of the bed and dab a little between my labia. He holds his already hard dick still for me as I position myself on him. Ryan glided in me effortlessly; I moved with him.

He started moving faster and faster. “Get on your stomach,” he suddenly ordered. I know better than to disobey. I turned over and put my hands at the head of the bed ready for him to grab my wrists. Or hold down. I let out the softest of moans as he plunged deep into me. He put my pillow over my head. He muffled something, but it was hard for me to understand from beneath my down pillow. I was able to make out a few words: “Don’t say a fucking word.”

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