Q&A: My boyfriend’s ass crack smells so bad when I go down on him, what to do?

boyfriend's ass crack smellsQ&A: My boyfriend’s ass crack smells so bad when I go down on him, what to do?

So my boyfriend’s ass crack smells putrid.  I’ve been going out with him for a few months now. I gotta say, his overall hygiene down there leaves a little to be desired but a) I’m down to clown regardless and b) I don’t really know how to bring this up!  How do I tell him?

Now, he’s a morning shower-er, which poses a problem because we always get nasty in the evenings or in bed before the showering happens. I myself am an evening shower and have modelled exemplary hygiene since the get go.

I can deal with a bit of a musty peen, I get it, can’t be minty fresh all the time, but sometimes I can smell terrible smells wafting up from his butt crack and when there is a peen halfway down my throat it really does induce gagging, and not in a sexy fun way.

I’ve also seen him shower, and I don’t think he actually approaches the crack with soap. Or even at all.

Now, how does one tell someone to wash their ass better and that sometimes their junk doesn’t smell great (also, could the man have penile thrush, because sometimes it smells like thrush to me)? How does one navigate this conversation sensitively?

Also, has this happened to anyone else? In my years of oral and stuff, I’ve not been near a but that smells so strong! Have I been lucky thus far?

boyfriend's ass crack smells badVenice’s response to smelly dick

You answered your own question.  Have a talk with  him and ask him take a shower prior to y’all getting freaky.   My husband and I shower any time we use the bathroom.  If we are not at home, we shower as soon as we get home.  At our place, we have a bidet (we do not get paid off any link to amazon, as their terms of service does not allow sex blogs to affiliate with them — we just like the product), which you can buy extremely cheap and install instantly.  Literally, you can add a bidet to your toilet using the existing waterline, no power.   It shoots cool water directly on your anus and cleans you thoroughly.  Unlike a cold pool, or a cold shower, cool water directly on your anus feels much more comfortable than you’d expect. 

This should fix any of the issues you have with your boyfriend’s smells and his rancid ass crack.  As always, a simple talk and good communication solves almost every issue or question we get on this blog.   

Ryan’s response to smelly dick

Venice is correct.  When dealing with a partner and his smelly ass crack, a good start is telling him.  It’s all about communication.   You can also play nice and ask him to shower with you.  Or you can hop in the shower with him when you see him showering in the morning.  While in there, grab the soap and rub him down, his smelly ass  crack included. 

I can’t believe people spend time with a partner, have sex, date for months, and do not know how to communicate something as simple as, “Hey baby, your smelly ass crack is making me gag.  Can you please try to clean it better? Would you like me to shower with you and put a good scrubbing on it?”

Much like women need to work to keep their vagina odor-free, men should do the same.  I keep my ass crack as fresh as possible.  I also spray antiperspirants on my creases to make sure I smell fresh.  Some men like to keep their asses so clean you can eat dinner off of them.    

Naughty Selfies – Floral Pumas and See-Through Black Panties

Floral Pumas and See-Through Black Panties

Ever since I did the Syntribation blog I quit wearing panties.  It makes masturbating at work so much easier.   But sometimes my dresses are a bit short so I have started wearing yoga boy shorts.  This time around I have my Green Yoga Shorts with No Panties and my husband loves it!

The obligatory spiel about this section and our goal:  I’ll try to keep these selfies limited to new outfits, panties, and ideas, rather than the exact same poses and panties every day. Thankfully, I do change my panties! Unfortunately, until I learn how to stretch and morph my body into alien-like positions,  I am a bit limited at what I can do with my camera! Either way, hopefully you guys have a great week and enjoy another edition of our naughty selfies.    

Dear Naughty Selfie Diary: Floral Pumas and See-Through Black Panties

It wasn’t clickbait!  They are see-through black panties!   But I also have a thick black bush. so now you know what a thick bush looks like with see-through black panties?!   I picked up the Pumas at a thrift shop and absolutely love them.   My husband asked for some selfies so I ran to the bathroom at work and took a few pics for him.  As always, I decided to share on the blog.  Believe it or not, I believe one day we will look back on these and smile.  I think they are sexy and cute, but not too bad that I’d be embarrassed.   


You can check out all my naughty selfies here!


The Secret To Keeping Your Vagina Clean

The Secret To Keeping Your Vagina Clean

My goal with this blog isn’t to shame women with smelly vaginas or add to the stereotype.  Even if you have the most beautiful vagina in the world, you still have dealt with unwelcoming odors from their vagina, whether they admit it or not.  Saying you’ve never dealt with having to clean your vagina is much like saying you’ve never brushed your teeth and/or had morning breath.  It’s just not a reality. 

I get it, that’s just something anyone wants to think about.   We do have to deal with old semen in our bodies, we do have to deal with the chemicals in condoms changing the pH in our bodies, we do have to deal with taking antibiotics for a sinus infection and the good bacteria in our bodies getting removed with the bad, and the list goes on and on.  Anything that can cause a yeast infection, which can be something as simple as a woman being turned on and getting too wet all day, can affect your smell.  With this blog I will try to go over my own experiences and what I believe is the best way / secret to keeping your vagina clean and stay odor free.   It isn’t technically a secret, but it also isn’t discussed for various reasons: talking about the secrets to eliminating odors can be embarrassing because that would mean your vagina odors (all women do), odors can be embarrassing, the vagina is usually self cleansing and if you admit it smells it suggests your vagina is broken, it’s natural, it gives more power to a man’s dick, and odors can be embarrassing

Mom knows best… clean your vagina daily

When I was a little girl, I saw a commercial on TV for Massengil, which was a product women would use if they ever had that “unfresh” feeling, aka a douche. At the time, I didn’t understand what that meant, and if I’m being perfectly honest, I don’t think I fully understood until I was well into my early 20s. I did unfold the instructions that came with the box and saw a crude caricature of a woman with one leg up at a 90 degree angle. In the next frame was the douche bottle headed right for the opening between her legs. What’s she doing that for? I thought. Does the water stay in there? What comes out? My six-year-old mind couldn’t even comprehend, and I don’t even think I asked my mom what she did with that bottle.

To be fair, my mom did emphasize the importance of washing your “private area” every day and putting on a fresh pair of panties. I didn’t question it. I thought it was part of my bathroom routine, same as brushing your teeth, combing your hair, washing your face, etc. I washed faithfully without question because you should always listen to your parents.  I never had any odors that I recall other than maybe a slight urine smell when I was a little girl.

Things that can cause odors in a vagina:

  • Semen
  • A dirty penis / balls
    Yes, your penis can introduce harmful bacteria to our bodies!  Keep your junk clean and stop trying to fuck us after a long day of work and no shower.
  • Period blood. 
    Whether it’s heavy or late in the cycle, it changes our body’s chemistry.
  • Saliva from oral sex
    When it comes to bacteria, the mouth is incredibly dirty and has hundreds of different types of bacteria living in it at any given moment.   This bacteria transfers to our vaginas when you go down on us.  Brush your teeth and use mouthwash prior to oral sex.
  • Getting wet and turned on
    Getting wet is natural, getting wet and turned on without having follow-up sex can lead to an excessive build up of moisture and bacteria.  We need dick, or something shaped like a dick daily.
  • Antibiotics
    Anytime you take antibiotics for other ailments such as a sinus infection, it can kill the good bacteria in  your body as well and temporary change your body chemistry.
  • Being fingered
    Dirty fingernails can carry harmful bacteria
  • Tight Panties
    This locks the moisture in.  If you can’t air it out, things happen.
  • Baths
    Bath water can not only cause an UTI, it can also cause an imbalance in the pH of your vagina.
  • Soap directly in your Vagina
  • Douche (mom never knew!)
    Not only kills the bad smelly bacteria, but it also kills the good bacteria that helps get rid of your odor
  • Wiping after using the bathroom
    Always wipe front to back
  • Hygiene 
    Take showers, change your panties.   

The solution to all of these problems?   A penis.


My Vagina Now…

Fast forward to married life.  Although I am religiously intimate with my husband twice a day,  that doesn’t mean just vaginal penetration.  That means massages, handjobs, blowjobs, face fucking, 69ing, or him eating me out.  Having vaginal intercourse has changed to maybe 2-3 times a week.  And most of the time this sex ends with my husband cumming inside me.   Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but let me explain.

When we were younger, we would have sex regularly, because we didn’t have all the various techniques we now use to please each other.  I was never on birth control and didn’t have my tubes tied so I could still easily get pregnant.   So although we had sex daily, it didn’t end in a cream pie.  That, plus the next day having sex again, my vagina was a workhorse.  Constant sex kept my fluids flowing, kept my body self cleansing, and without semen inside me, I stayed very fresh.   This is a sneak peek into how women can keep their bodies clean.  A penis is shaped to penetrate, but it is also shaped to “plunge”.  The glans of the penis is shaped to get deep inside your body and pull out (plunge) all the old fluids deep inside our bodies.     

According to Professor Gordon Gallup from the State University of New York who led a team of scientists to investigate the anatomy of the human penis and its use, the thrust of the penis – and the ridge that separates the head from the shaft – could help clear a woman’s vagina and reproductive system of a previous lover’s sperm.

Which also means it can also help clear a woman’s vagina and reproductive system of the same man’s cum from the night before.  Hence, keeping your vagina clean.

Getting my tubes tied means I want my husband to cum inside me every time

This is important to note because vaginal sex now usually ended with semen in my vagina. And because of this, I can be left with a lot of old semen in my body. You may be saying, “There’s nothing wrong with semen! It’s clean! That’s nature!” That’s right, it is; however, when you have fluids in your body, semen included, it festers in the vaginal cavity, and after a day or two, you’ll notice the distinct “fish” smell. That’s right. How does this happen? When you have bacteria in a tight crevice (vagina) that isn’t given the opportunity to flush out, it will sit. And sit. And sit. And sit in you until one day you notice a pungent smell emanating from between your legs. You can wash your lips and your clit, and it may cut that odor just slightly, but it’s still there! 

Not to mention, now that I have vaginal penetration less often, I notice that sex is much more traumatizing.  Previously my labia and vagina could handle the abuse from a penis rubbing each night between my walls; my body was acclimated to sex.   Now, having sex less often, my labia get sore and swollen, my vaginal walls tighten and become engorged (the opposite of what men think happens when we get fucked by a big dick), and any semen left inside me, stays inside me until my vagina recovers from the trauma of sex.   In other words, my vaginal hole tightens and closes after a long sex session.   This means the cum deep inside me can’t really leak out as easily.   And I know the next day when I am at work and nothing leaks out, my husband’s cum is still deep inside my body festering.  I never had this problem when I was sexual active daily.

Our Menstrual Cycles

I came to the conclusion that my mom was probably douching right after her period, because traces of blood left in your vagina can easily lead to foul odors. “Light days” or “Day 5” of your cycle doesn’t just mean you can stop using tampons – it means you should also start cleaning yourself.

But how?   

If you have a man, on day 5 or light days, you should be asking him to clean you out.  If that makes you uncomfortable, then you should have a shaft shaped toy that has a prominent mushroom shaped glans.

I will be dead honest.  At the end of my cycle I will message my husband and flat out tell him, I want you to fuck me tonight and clean me out.  It’s called a maintenance fuck.  It may not be sexual, it may not be something he fantasizes about, but he knows that I am serious.  I want to use his dick to clean my body deep and thorough, especially at the end of my cycle.  We use coconut oil (which naturally kills yeast) and he will fuck me slow and deep to get it all out.   The next day?  I am as fresh as can be.  That’s the secret, a maintenance fuck.

The researchers found that the penises with a more pronounced “mushroom shape” — those that had a marked coronal ridge, where the head meets the shaft — fared better in the experiment. The most mushroom-shaped penis scooped out nearly 87% of prior sperm.

If it can remove 87% of prior sperm, it can remove 87% of the old blood and bacteria still inside your body from your menstrual cycle.  In other words, if you want to clean your vagina, go fuck yourself. Whether that is with a dick or dildo.  If you don’t have a man and you’re allergic to certain materials, use your fingers. I once had a girl who wanted to hook up with, tell me on a Monday, “Heyyyy, I’m on my period right now, but should be good by the weekend (wink)!” Girl, NO. I’ll see you NEXT Friday, and if I’m on my cycle at that time, see you at the end of the month. That’s just common courtesy.

Something is fishy and the secrets out…

I feel like during the first 20 years of our marriage, I didn’t have that fish problem because, you guessed it, we were constantly having sex, and in doing so, kept my vagina balanced and fresh. Think brushing your teeth (and tongue!) and scrubbing away old food, soda, and candy. Think oral thrush (yeast infection of the mouth) and having no stimulation to free your mouth of bacteria. It works the same for a vagina: the more often you have sex, the less likely you’ll have bacteria sitting and ruminating in you. 

On another note, my cousin was a prison guard and they had a post-op transgender inmate.  This inmate, by doctor’s orders, was prescribed to use a dildo each night on her body to keep from getting infections.   Now I know that this was to prevent the post-op vagina from closing completely, but the same concept still applies.  Using your body each day keeps your body regenerating and functioning properly.  The vagina can absolutely be self-cleansing IF YOU ARE USING IT.

And it’s not just semen or old period blood that can cause that odor. If you’ve ever been so turned on that your vagina starts to get wet, your own fluids can cause it, too! It’s the bacteria sitting in your vagina that does it. I remember distinctly in grade school the older sisters of my classmates saying vaginas smell like fish, or something to that effect. Basically blaming a girl for having a “fishy” vagina. But no one knew why! And that all girls are prone to it! It was just something to tease a girl about when you wanted to piss her off. So even if you’re not sexually active (i.e. having semen in you regularly) or if you don’t have a regular menstrual cycle, your vagina is susceptible to odor. No woman is immune, and it’s unavoidable. Practice total vaginal care – your future partners will thank you.   

Q&A: Resentful towards my wife because of boring sex and no drive to improve our sex life

Q&A: Resentful towards my wife because of boring sex and no drive to improve our sex life

I’ve been happily married for almost a decade, we have kids, house, etc. Sex has been generally great too, although limited to 1-2 positions, and we have matching high libidos. However, my wife has been very vanilla while I am fairly kinky and into exploring things.  I am beginning to feel resentful towards my wife due to our now boring sex life.

Over the years I’ve made progress on my own communication and brought up the things I’ve been missing and wanted to try. It went better than I expected – my wife turned out to have her own kinks, some kinks we both wanted to try equally.

Which is where things went off the happy trajectory. We never really ended up trying nearly all those things we matched on. I’ve shopped for toys, did the reading, talked to her about it dozens of times and she usually agrees, reassures me that she really wants to do it, but it’s always either “later” or I am sent to do “more research”.

After nearly a year of trying, I can’t escape feeling very resentful. Why am I the one doing all the “research” and trying to make things work? Why do I have to be running in this loop of back and forth if in practice she doesn’t seem to be interested, whatever the underlying reason? I feel embarrassed about sharing my kinks and neither feel comfortable trying it with her anymore nor frankly not interested in plain vanilla sex either – I don’t feel too incentivized in putting the effort into pleasing my partner when my own preferences are just ignored.

Has anyone been through this? Am I just depressed and exaggerating things? Is there a way forward or is it a fundamental incompatibility? I generally wouldn’t mind living like this but it will inevitably come out when it becomes obvious I lost interest in sex.

Venice’s response to boring sex

This was pretty much our sex life 12 years into our marriage.  It is extremely easy to get complacent in marriage, especially with sex.   As a couple that met young and inexperienced, we started off being excited by just having sex in general.   And since we started so young, it is hard to want to continue being more and more kinky, because why?!    When we first had sex, I could just take off my panties and that was the most exciting thing my husband wanted.  He didn’t need positions, deep throating, dom/sub role play, or any of that.  Just getting sex was exciting for both of us.  

Eventually my husband wanted more.   Because of my complacency, lack of attention I was getting, and nothing else in our relationship had changed…why would I change and give him better sex?  Why does better sex even matter other than he must be watching porn and expected too much out of me?  When did I ever say I wanted kinky sex or anything more than missionary and doggy style?

Now ask me how I would treat a man if I was single, I just met him, and wanted to win him over in bed. 

I would treat him like a king.  I would let him anal whenever he wanted.  I would let throw me in any position his heart desired.  I would be enthusiastic and tell him how much I loved his dick.  I would let him dominate and choke the shit out of me if he liked that.  I would even cross my eyes while he did it and make goofy faces to show him I was not only into it, I loved it.   I would beg to swallow him.  I would learn to deep throat his dick so deep that I could fit his balls in my mouth and lick his ass all at the same time.  I would do whatever it took to show him I was the best lover he could ever want.   

So why would I treat the next guy better than my current husband?  Why does our next boyfriends/husbands get the best sex from us?  

It’s a process that sometimes takes a catalyst.  In my situation, it took a catalyst.   Our relationship’s catalyst was our relationship almost ending.  We were friends, kind of.  We had children.  We appeared to be a normal family, but the reality was, we were living separate lives within the same house.  He didn’t give me the attention I needed, and I didn’t give him anything extra, especially sexually. I made dinners, I was friendly, and I didn’t really argue.  But sex?  I wasn’t going to be a porn star for him.   

But with the thought of leaving each other becoming more real, the feeling of being lonely took over my soul.  I did love him.  He used to be my best friend.  I felt depressed and lost. I believe the same happened to him.  We had this weird bonding experience that reignited our passion.  Just knowing that both of us had resigned to the idea that splitting up was a real option, scared us back into being teenagers again.  I fucked him with more intensity.  I opened the door to every type of sex, regardless of how extreme.  I learned to deep throat and face fuck.   We now have a permanent role in our life and relationship, daddy / little girl.   I am open to anything he brings up and feel disgusted at the old version of me.  In fact, seeing on old videos we recorded together in sexual moments prior to the catalyst, embarrasses me.  I had a chip on my shoulder or was resentful that he wanted to do anything with me other than fuck me missionary.   

Unfortunately I do not have an answer for you.   It’s going to take more than communication and research.  It’s going to take a catalyst that snaps your wife back into wanting to please you.  Wanting to impress you.  Wanting to do things with you she absolutely would do with the next man after you, if you divorced her.  The question you should be asking is how do you get your wife to appreciate you again?  Do you do all the grooming you did prior to marrying her?  Do you take her out and make her feel special?  Do you buy her gifts and ask about her hobbies?  Do you give her attention and participate in the things she loves?   She isn’t going to just wake up one day and want to fuck you better when you haven’t done anything better for her.   Since I do not have enough information on your situation, I will leave you with that.

Ryan’s response to boring sex

My wife probably hit the nail on the head.  Your wife may need a catalyst.   She sounds complacent.   Now don’t run off and threaten a divorce, because using a separation or divorce as a leverage tool in your marriage is wrong.  It should be something you feel is your only option and you are willing to follow through with, not just threaten.   If she can’t fulfill your needs and you are beginning to resent her, a separation could help.  It will make you both miss the little things you love so much about each other. 

But before you do that, ask her to write out a list of all the things she wants from you.  I have no idea what will be on her list, but whatever it is, work towards trying harder at the things she needs.   Even if it is something as simple as watching her favorite show each week together.  This will make the thought of separating much harder, since you’re trying to give her the things she said she needed.  The last thing you want to do is suggest separating and she starts doing a cheer and high fiving the mirror, happy as hell she is finally getting out of there.

If she realizes that things you need are as simple as enthusiasm, a little research, and her opening her mind to trying new things sexually, she may make the change.  However, is it worth your marriage to threaten a separation over your sexual needs?  That would be something you need to decide.  She may call her friends and say, “John said he is separating with me because I won’t research enjoying anal with him.  Can you believe that?”

Feeling resentful can lead to a lot of negative things in a relationship, so measure the resent you feel and see if this is something you can live with or you want to fix.  And of course there is always the approach of contacting a professional such as a marriage counselor rather than asking a sex blogging couple.      


World’s Most Beautiful Vagina Competition – Leaderboard and Past Winners

The World’s Most Beautiful Vagina Competition – Leaderboard and Past Winners

Years ago we posted a blog about the Best Anus Contest, which only had a 1 year run. Much to the dismay of the million asshole lovers on reddit, the contest and leaderboard is now offline.   So all that is left is our article, the 1 time winner of the world’s most beautiful anus,  and a few submissions.  Because of this loss, we decided to archive the World’s Most Beautiful Vagina competition winners and link to the yearly leaderboard for our blog readers.  As of now, this link below still works.  We are not affiliated nor sponsored by this contest.  We just enjoy the idea and find it sexy and fun to share.

World’s Most Beautiful Vagina Leaderboard

Past winners:   

The World’s Most Beautiful Vagina Conclusion

As you can see, the past winners have all types of appearances.  Admittedly, the tight and compact labia seems to be the most popular, but a few larger labia did win it for the year.  I believe the smaller labia reminds men of a “tight” sensation visually and they can’t help but to vote for the more compact look.  However, they are all beautiful and definitely deserve their crowns!   The contest also seems biased to DSLR cameras, high quality lenses, and completely shaved.   Hair is beautiful too!

We are not sponsored nor affiliated with any of the links above.  As with all our Wild Wild Web entries, this is just dumb sexual things we found  interesting and wanted to share with our readers.