Men Fuck Anything That Walks, Barks, Flies, or Just Sits There Doing Absolutely Nothing

Herbie 'The Love Bug' indeed.
Herbie ‘The Love Bug’ indeed.

The birds and the bees, and the couches, helicopters, bicycles, rafts, the family pet, random food, and of course the picnic table.  Some men apparently have sex with anything that walks… or doesn’t walk… or can’t walk… or just any random inanimate object that happens to be near them. This article will list a few recent bizarre love affairs that have been reported in the media:

Edward Smith, of Washington State, may be the king of car making… love. Edward Smith claims to have had sex with more than 1,000 vehicles, including his favorite, the helicopter from the 1980s TV hit, Airwolf.  He has also had some very special moments with Herbie ‘The Love Bug.’  Edward Smith said he doesn’t have eyes for men or women, but instead, he loves looking at a vehicles rear ends and judging how much junk is in the trunk.   “I’m a romantic,” he said. “I know what’s in my heart and I have no desire to change.”   A real muff diver, I mean,  muffler diver.

On Friday, July 26, 2013, a registered sexual predator living in St. Johns County is arrested on charges he had sex with his neighbor’s dog.  St. Johns County Sheriff’s deputies arrested 52-year-old James Lee Lyons after his neighbor complained to detectives that Lyons sexually abused his dog.  Apparently the neighbor let his dog go outside for a while and it went missing.  Later, James Lyons brought the dog back to the neighbors house and said he found it in the shed.  The neighbor, who had already checked teh shed, noticed the dog acting withdrawn, as well as noticed injuries to the dogs rectum and vulva.   The neighbor called Animal Control. Animal Control officials urged the man to take the dog to the vet.   Special Victim’s detectives were then called in to investigate and James Lyons was arrested.  Unfortunately, this is just 1 article of 100.  Apparently men all over the world are getting arrested for having sex with horses, dogs, donkeys, rats, and yes, even chickens.  I guess it doesn’t just taste like chicken, it also feels like it!?

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Freaky Friday’s Search Terms (Top 10)

freakyfridayEach week we will post our most outrageous search terms of that week and share them with our readers.  Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense. 

Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real.  

10. porn Subway sandwich comparison
Venice: This should make subway proud.   I am glad people think of sexblogging.com when it comes to porn and subway sandwich comparisons.  I know the first thing I think of when watching porn is a meatball subway on rye bread.
Ryan: Well, there have been times I have watched a subway commercial and thought of Japanese bukkake scenes. 
Venice: Great, now I am hungry. 

 9. if you fuck a woman in the ass can it come out of her pussy
Ryan: Apparently someone was trying to find out if it’s possible to fuck a woman in her ass and have his penis pop out of her pussy?  Maybe if you are Captian Hook.
Venice: Well, technically if the penis has a severe curve that points down and the bodies are angled right…
Ryan:  Oh no, the Asian girl is talking about angles and doing math.   This may take a while. 

 8. pierced cock 2013 only
Ryan:  I guess 2012 and 2011 weren’t great years for pierced cocks?
Venice: Is this like wine tasting?  If so, I liked the taste of your 2012 pierced cock just as much as your 2013.

7. girl injecting libido in her ass
Ryan: Here at sexblogging we like to call the libido being injected into a woman’s ass, sperm.  And yes, semen in your anus has been proven to improve your moods and  increase your sex drive.   
Venice: Gay men figured this out a long time ago.  It’s why they are so gay. 

6. shed put a but pug in her ass
Venice: The shed did what to the but pug?
Ryan: I think they were searching for a dog house or something.

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Review: Pam & Tommy Lee Hardcore and Uncensored (Pamela Anderson)

tommyandpam

I suppose you are wondering why anyone would review the Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee sex tape 18 years later. Damn, 18 years later?!    Well, first of all, our entire site is based off real couples and real sex.  This video is a bit of both.  Also, it doesn’t feel right reviewing sex tapes or future sex tapes without at least writing our opinions about the godfather of them all. Yes, it’s a bit outdated but it has to be done.  The fun part is we have never really watched these videos so for us it’s still our first impressions.

 A bit of background for those of you that may have been underage or under a rock when this tape leaked.  Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee had a sex tape of them on their honeymoon leak in 1995 after it was stolen from their home.  Anderson sued the video distribution company, Internet Entertainment Group. Ultimately, the Lees entered into a confidential settlement agreement with IEG. Thereafter, the company began making the tape available to subscribers to its web sites again, resulting in triple the normal traffic on the sites.

Another tape, which was made before the Tommy Lee tape, involving Anderson and musician Bret Michaels from Poison, was later announced, and an abridged version of less than 60 seconds appeared on the internet. Frames of the video first appeared in Penthouse magazine in March 1998. The tape was successfully blocked by Michaels, but a four-minute sex tape is still available on the Internet.

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Review: Farrah Abraham in Backdoor Teen Mom Sex Tape

farrahabrahamFrom MTV’s Teen Mom to Backdoor Squirting Milf Porn Star.  You saw how she raised her child, now you can see how she makes them. Farrah Abraham released her sex tape via Vivid for sell and download, the same company that released Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee (Pam and Tommy), Jimi Hendrix, Kim Kardashian, WWE Diva Chyna, and a number of other B / C / D level celebs that can only get your attention by fucking each other’s brains out on camera…

… the same way we do!

I’m not mad at you Farrah, sex is beautiful, and doing it the way you do it is even more beautiful.   Co-star / porn actor James Deen has openly said that recording this video was just another day in the office for him.  Any claims of this being a “private” sex tape is false, as it was purposely recorded in home video fashion to create more interest.    Farrah, no need to pretend it’s a home video, just tell everyone you take it in the ass and squirt all over the room, that’s all the buzz you need.

Farrah Abraham just went from the most annoying D level reality star / teen mom on earth, to now just a somewhat slightly annoying milf with A level porn skills.  Her new large breasts and open-attitude towards anal sex definitely puts her a lot higher in my book.  Although her oral skills need work,  her anal, ass to mouth, ass to pussy then back to ass then back to pussy then back to mouth,  and squirting techniques will make even the most uptight executive at Viacom proud.  Good find MTV!  Your casting director and talent scouts need raises for sure.

Vivid’s synopsis:

“From Iowa cheerleader to MTV Teen Mom star, midwest beauty Farrah Abraham breaks free with her most daring video ever, Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom. Made originally as a personal ‘boudoir’ tape, Farrah decided to release the video to her fans due to overwhelming response once news of the tape became public for download. Shockingly explicit, she takes James Deen as you’d never imagine, in a backdoor scene you’ll never forget. With her tight young body and totally uninhibited sexuality, it’s no wonder why she wanted to capture this moment in time. And now you can too!” 

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Rants and Frustrations – Debit and Credit Card Drama

frustrationSo I walk into a local Mom & Pop store hoping to buy a few drinks for the work week. Unfortunately the drinks I usually buy were expired so instead of leaving empty handed I grab a few smaller drinks and head up to the counter.

As the cashier rings it up I pull out my debit card, which for the last 10 years I’ve never had a problem with. The cashier, who was eyeballing me check the dates on the drinks I put back, looks at me with a frown and says, “Sorry, we have a $5 dollar minimum limit on using debit cards.” As I step back to gather my thoughts I also notice a sign that says, “For our employees safety, no bills over 20 please.” Another sign says, “Sorry, no personal checks and no American Express.”

What the fuck.

Annoyed, I reply, “Okay, I guess I will take some gum and maybe a $.25 cent super sized lemon head? How much is that?”

The cashier responds with, “That’s $4.20, do you want something else?”

At this point I am ready to walk out of the store. I am not the type to get annoyed, frustrated easy, or write rants like this, but for whatever reason, this situation absolutely pisses me off. I respond with a blank face, “Can you just ring up $.80 cents worth of invisible product?”

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