A Real Couple Blogging About Sex, Life, and Everything In Between +

April 26, 2023

How Having A Gay Experience Made Me A Better Lover To Women

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How Having A Gay Experience Made Me A Better Lover To Women.

Every now and then we snag up stories we feel may be interesting to our readers.  We archive them on our sex blog and throw them in the category of The Wild Wild Web.   Here is an interesting piece about a guy getting fucked by another guy and it changed everything he thought he knew about sex and his sexuality. For him, being gay or having a gay experience made him realize how good men can be in bed, and in response he became a better lover to women.

Getting fucked by another guy changed everything I thought I knew about sex and put me in sort of a crisis and also a new beginning.

I am a 55 year old guy who was recently divorced (amicably) after a long marriage and currently have a relationship with a younger woman in her 20s as her sugar daddy. It’s more than just trading money for sex though, we have a relationship as friends and can talk about things I’ve never been able to talk about with anyone else.

I always suspected I was bisexual and now had the chance to try stuff with guys. I had a couple of bad encounters hooking up on my own with random men and so, my sugar baby offered to set me up with a guy who is her FWB and identifies as straight but is willing to occasionally fuck guys.

The Gay Experience That Made Me A Better Lover

He is like the male version of her, attractive, fit, nice personality, younger but there is no sugar arrangement, it’s just sex. He has a high sex drive.

My first experiences with men were awkward and some were scary! I had no idea how scary it can be to have sex with someone who can overpower you until I tried it! One guy had anger issues that came out when he drank!

The difference between this new guy and the others was night and day! He was amazing! He has a nice dick but it was his abs and butt that made the difference He was like a machine that could fuck effortlessly and he can very easily overpower me but I never felt unsafe. He also knew when to turn it up and be more aggressive but never to the point where I felt threatened.

The main thing was just how much longer he could fuck than I ever did. I kept expecting it to be over and he’d just be able to keep going.  It was incredible.

How This Gay Experience Made Me A Better Lover

After the first time was over, I just sat there alone and actually cried, because of how great it was but also because I felt like I wasted my own potential in MY sex life just because I didn’t know any different. I didn’t finish too early but compared to him, I realized I was in my late middle age and had no clue what I was doing. I felt bad for my ex wife whom I had a long and wonderful sex life with and instantly realized it could have been so much more. I felt like all my life I was cutting sex short before it really even started, when it could have been so much more.

Nobody teaches you how to have sex right? So you just fall into a pattern and it becomes HOW you have sex and you start to think it’s like that for everyone. Guys don’t like to admit to themselves that they are lacking in that department so they generally don’t like to think about it or if they should improve.

She Noticed My Gay Experience Made Me A Better Lover

I mean when I have sex with my sugar baby, she obviously is younger and fitter than I am so I never really thought twice about it. According to her, I am a lot better than the other (older) sugar daddy she had before me and the last boyfriend she had who was her own age liked porn and video games more than fucking! She started seeing her FWB to get her needs met.

After getting fucked by him though, my own skills improved just by knowing I could do more! She noticed and was pleasantly surprised! We talked about how I was feeling and she told me my performance was fine.  She told me that sex with men is either awful, mediocre, or fucking amazing and it’s rare that a man is fucking amazing. She said when you can find a guy who is that good at it and not an asshole, you hold on to him!

How My Gay Experience Changed Me

It also made me realize I am bottom with men which made me question my self image. I have a female side that likes being overpowered and just going for a ride where someone else is driving! I didn’t expect to catch feelings for a guy either but that is starting too. I catch myself wondering what he is thinking or second guessing myself when I am waiting for him to respond to a text.

It also made me notice guys in public. It’s like I had blinders on all my life. I can see how confidence is sexy. I notice things I never did before. My Ex and I have college aged daughter and we went through hell with her when she was almost engaged to this complete jerk and we could not possibly see what she saw in him. I started having sexual fantasies about guys like that now! It’s just that IDGAF attitude and the sense of danger and excitement. The guy I am seeing is not like that but he can tap into it and knows how to!

As for advice, I am wondering if the regret I feel is normal or healthy? Is it something that is likely to pass or should I seek out counseling? I also have no idea what the rest of my life is gonna be like. I don’t want to keep seeing sugar babies and having random hookups. I realize this is a phase but I also know that most women are turned off by bisexual men and I am definitely bisexual.

Venice’s Response: to a gay experience made me a better lover

This story is a good take on how a person can finally realize how good men fuck through being fucked by a man, but I’d like to add, as a woman, sex is amazing when you have an amazing connection. Some women may not need a connection, but I did. From my readings, most women prefer a connection prior to sex. The idea that a man being great in bed with zero connection is foreign to me. No lover can be a good lover if I do not have a connection, no matter how long he goes or how good he moves. My husband and I learned how to fuck each other, and even the very first time when neither of us even understood sex, it was the best sex imaginable.  Not because of some technical move or his stamina, but because I never wanted to fuck a person so bad in my life.  The same as if you are starving and you get served a meal, it will be the best meal ever.  And with my husband, I stay in a sexual famine, because I was always hungry for him to fuck me.  

I just felt this was something I should clarify due to the opinion of his sugar baby who gave her opinion on how guys can be bad in bed, mediocre in bed, or great in bed.  Her perspective isn’t something I would change my entire perspective on sex and life on.  That’s all I am saying.

So as a man who got great sex with no connection from another man, that doesn’t mean that is what women want. You aren’t a woman. 

Ryan’s Response: gay experience made me a better lover

This is an interesting story and I believe that you were right when you said you went through life with blinders on. I am unsure if you never watched amateur porn (much different than highly edited professional porn), but some men can fuck for hours. Some men are stallions built to fuck, built to last last long, built with huge dicks that you’d think every woman would love to try.  Maybe you were complacent.  Maybe you didn’t believe porn was actually real sex due to editing.  But it wasn’t until you had a stud that knew exactly how to fuck you that you realized you had been doing it wrong your whole life. Well, your life isn’t over. You were a bad lover at 20 because you didn’t believe good sex actually existed. You had blinders on. You will be a bad lover at 50 because you believe it’s too late to change. You still have blinders on, except you can’t see the future. In both instances you are wrong. Stop telling yourself why you can’t be a good lover, or thinking about what you missed, and start creating experiences that you want to have.  

April 19, 2023

A Gentleman’s Guide To Making Your Ass More Enjoyable For Women To Eat

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A Gentleman’s Guide To Making Your Ass More Enjoyable For Women To Eat

My First Time Eating A Man’s Ass

In a previous article about eating ass, we included this experience about my first time going down on a man.  I will share again, because it goes very well with the topic of how a man can make his ass more enjoyable for a woman to eat.    Guide To Licking Your Man’s Ass

One night, my husband (boyfriend at the time) and I was talking on the phone.  He was away in college and we were talking about things we wanted to try over Christmas break.  To be honest, long distance and talking over the phone helped us more than anything ever could.  When we were together physically, we tended to shut down our line of communication, and just act and react.  We talked, but it wasn’t necessarily deep. We kiss, say cute things, fuck, then go about our day like everything is perfect.  No real communication. I do believe, that had we not had time apart, it would have took much longer for him to communicate that he had a desire to have his ass licked.  This was over 20 years ago, so it wasn’t a common thing.  In fact, it wasn’t anything I had heard a girl did to her man.   Just totally unexplored territory.  In hindsight, I thought giving a rim job was a joke about gay sex, because I had always heard the term “tossing salad“, but never thought it was a real thing.

Tossing Salad Woman’s Guide To Licking Your Man’s Ass

This actually originated on an HBO documentary called “Prisoners of the War on Drugs” produced in 1996. In the film, there’s a segment called “Tossed Salad man” who describes to a reporter one of the ways another prisoner might pay for drugs or pay off a drug debt. It involves having the person apply some jelly from a jelly packet to his ass hole and then sucking his asshole like it was a pussy, while he jacked off…

We’ve also heard, they can apply salad dressing from a salad packet.  Anything to change the flavor. 

It gets into A LOT more detail than that, as well as a few other “methods of payment” they practiced inside the prison…

The same year, the comedian Chris Rock, having seen the film, worked the term into his stand-up comedy routine. It has been heard in other places since, including movies like Me, Myself and Irene, when Jim Carey is viewing the Chris Rock comedy special on TV…

Here is a clip of the original HBO film:

Okay, so now you know where I had to take my mind to.  A dark place.  I had to prepare myself for prison life.  A live or die mind-set here.  Just a young girl trying to survive…

It didn’t matter.  I was newly in love and nothing would have intimidated me.  I would have agreed to try anything, if he had brought it up.  I was ready to toss his salad, no jelly or salad dressing needed.

During Christmas break, he was staying with me at my house.  My mom would leave for work each day so this is when I would go downstairs and explore all the things a girl will explore when her boyfriend is living with her.  Oral sex, cum shots, having sex 13 times in a day.  You know, the things we do when we are allowed to actually have our boyfriend live with us!

As Christmas break neared an end, he got up the nerve to say to me, in a nervous shaky voice, “Do you want to try to lick me down there?”  

Shocked, I asked, “Do you want another blow job?”   I had no idea.

He didn’t make eye contact and responded, “No, my ass.”

My heart dropped.  Not because it was gross or because I wouldn’t do it.  But because for the first time, I was going to face something sexually that I hadn’t thought about 100 times.  I had thought about giving a blow job for the first time.  I had thought about a guy going down on me for the first time.  I had thought about having a guy on top of me as he pushes his penis inside my body.  I had even stuck things in myself to see what it would feel like.  So when my boyfriend and I were together sexually, nothing intimidated me.  I had already done it in my head so many times, it felt natural.  And I loved the thought of it, so it felt right.  But this?  Licking his asshole?  I had never thought of doing that to anyone.  Not once, in all my teenage years, did I sit in bed late at night and imagine myself putting my face down on a man’s ass, and sticking my tongue out to taste his butt hole.  No way.

This may be hard to relate to, because these days anal play and rim jobs are much more common.  Porn and quick access to any type of fetish, is just a click away.  But back then?  Unheard of.  More woman’s guide to licking your man’s ass below.

Still, I played it cool.  I lead him into the downstairs room and bent him over a day bed we had against the wall.  Without saying anything, I slid his shorts down.  This is probably the most unromantic story ever.  We had just gotten out of the shower, so I knew he would be clean.  Much like two young kids exploring their privates for the first time.  I had my boyfriend’s ass exposed, with his shorts around his ankles, bending down on the bed in front of me.  I got down to my knees behind him and spread his butt cheeks.  I remember saying, “It looks like a balloon knot.”  We both started laughing.   I could see his face turning bright red, embarrassed, and still totally exposed to me.  I leaned forward and barely stuck the tip of my tongue on the rim of his anus.  I think I was down there for about 2 or 3 seconds licking his rim when he pushed away from me and said, “Okay that’s enough!”  He was embarrassed, but totally satisfied and happy.  He didn’t really want to feel the sensation, or hadn’t really came up with a kinky fantasy regarding getting his ass licked, he just was really turned on that I would do that for him.  He felt loved.  He knew he had a girl who would do anything for him.  And I knew I had a man I’d do anything for.  It was so silly, so innocent, and yet, something I never thought I would do to another person.  The nerves made me feel so good inside.  Like I was naughty.

THE GENTLEMAN’S GUIDE TO MAKING YOUR ASS MORE EDIBLE

Given that we’ve reached the peak in ass eating, most men now have no qualms with eating a woman’s ass.  There was a time when discussing if you would even go down on a woman was a topic, but now most men brag about how much they enjoy eating a woman’s ass.  And as this becomes the norm in sex, women want to return the favor.  And this is the new taboo.    Is it okay for a man to get his ass ate and brag about it?  Enjoy it?   Let’s go through the psychology behind having your ass eaten and talk with Charlie Glickman, a sex coach and relationships expert, and author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners:

One thing people don’t realize is that your pelvic floor reflects your emotional state. That’s where we get the phrase “tight ass” from. The more stressed out you are, the tighter your pelvic floor becomes — in the same way a dog or a cat tucks their tail under when they’re scared. Being present in your ass doesn’t mean you have to try anal play, but it begins with paying attention to that part of your body. Anal stimulation is one way people start doing this, especially because of how much it relaxes the body. We have this cultural attitude that men do and women receive when talking about heterosexual dynamics, so it can be a change of pace for men and their partners to explore that in reverse.

Other guys are worried receiving anal pleasure makes them gay. But it’s who you want to have sex with that defines your orientation, not any particular sex act. From a sexological perspective, anything that people with two different genders do is heterosexual sex. Now, whenever trying something new, it’s always a good idea to start off making it a side dish rather than the main course. Maybe she starts off with a blow job that progressively moves a little further down until it becomes rimming. Or while receiving rimming, your partner can also use their hand on your penis, or you can use your own hand on your penis. Basically make rimming an “add-on,” because it can be more comfortable for a lot of guys if they begin receiving this pleasure when combined with a kind of pleasure they already know.

Either way, try to create as much emotional and physical comfort for yourself as possible. Get into a position that feels good. For some people, that’s lying on their back with a pillow under their hips and raising their knees to their chest. For others, it might mean standing on the floor and bending over the end of the bed or lying down face down flat on the bed. Others might get on their hands and knees. Every guy is different. So communicate personal information about what might make you feel most comfortable or get you off before you begin.

The biggest question I get from guys is about hygiene. If it’s been a hot day and maybe you’ve gotten a little sweaty, you might want to take a shower and have a quick rinse off. You can also do the little bird bath thing with a washcloth in the sink. Most people have body hair, and a lot of guys have a lot of hair around their anus. As such, you might feel more comfortable giving or receiving rimming if the receiver shaves or waxes. It’s just a way of keeping things a little neater down there.

What Do You Think Makes Eating A Man’s Ass More Enjoyable?

So we decided to move away from what others think and directly ask you.  What do you think makes eating a man’s ass more enjoyable?

We surveyed our readers and have received a few great tips on what makes it more enjoyable to eat a man’s ass.  

Most popular response:

Continue Reading A Gentleman’s Guide To Making Your Ass More Enjoyable For Women To Eat

April 12, 2023

Sex Toy Review: Kiiroo Keon + FeelStroker & Pearl2 Couple Set

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Sex Toy Review: Kiiroo Keon + FeelStroker & Pearl2 Couple Set

For the record, we had an older couples set by Kiiroo that we sold on our website and it didn’t last even an hour. It sold instantly. This company creates items that most couples have to own.

With that said, this is the second time we have reviewed a Kiiroo couples set and once again we were not let down. This time they sent us the robocop version of a male masturbator.  The Keon.  This set also includes a sleeve, as well as the Pearl2 vibrator for a woman.   

As far as the Keon goes, this thing is huge. 

That’s what she said….

🦗🦗🦗<crickets>🦗🦗🦗

Seriously, this thing is huge.  The Keon is a very large machine that holds the FeelStroker (Kiiroo’s version of a Fleshlight) and acts like a power drill on your man piece.  

But that’s not all.  The KEON has a feature that allows it to sync with preset videos you can watch on their app. Through VR, or through watching a POV (point of view) video, the KEON actually massages your penis to the exact same movements you see in the video. For instance, if a girl is stroking a penis in a video, the KEON strokes you in the same rhythm. If she is sucking slow, it also moves slow.  In the video we viewed, it was two women giving a blow job, and this thing was able to keep up with the video and vibrate to the exact same movements. Great feature! As with most strokers you can change the speed and find your sweet spot.  

Speaking of sweet spots, this set also comes with the highly acclaimed Pearl2.  You can check out our review of the Pearl2 here:  Couples Set w/ Pearl2

As with our previous review, we’d highly recommend this product. This is probably the most sought after device for couples, long distance relationships, or just a horny guy that wants to sync his stroker to the vibrator and fuck himself twice at the same time.

Say what?

Anyway, the two devices sync with each other, or sync with the apps on your phone. You can play in the same room or long distance. If masturbating with each other is something you are into, do not pass up on a set like this. 

Pros:

    • Probably the most powerful masturbator I have ever felt. Regardless how tight the sleeve is, the motor will not stop like some of the cheaper male masturbation toys.
    • You can sync the Keon to various videos which allows you to feel what you are watching.
    • Both items are made for couples and interactive.  You can play with your woman’s toy long distance and get her off through the app.

Cons:

    • The Keon is just too big. Maybe I do not have it figured out but it’s like holding a dang cinder block over your cock. I mean, it’s the best feeling cinder block on earth, but it’s still a dang cinderblock.  
    • This is a pro and con, the Pearl2 is pretty basic.  It really doesn’t do anything fancy besides shake your goodies until your goody shakes. But in our experience, this type of vibrator becomes your main go to when you need a quickie on the go.

 

Website Description:

Price:   $319

Keon + FeelStroker & Pearl2 Purple Couple Set

Keon

A new standard in interactive pleasure has been set with Keon by KIIROO; the smartest automatic masturbator on the market today. Embodying both innovation and design in a small, compact casing; KEON is the ultimate automatic Sex Toy for Men.  Its ergonomic shape and intuitive grip control helps optimize your experience in limitless ways. All you need to do is let KEON unleash your fantasies without constraints.

KIIROO Stroker 

This Stroker is KIIROO’s first stroker. The patented material gives you the most pleasurable experience. This stroker was designed to fit perfectly in Keon by KIIROO. 

KIIROO Pearl2 

The world’s most technologically advanced G-spot vibrator, designed to fulfill your most intimate needs.  KIIROO Pearl2 Purple is a technologically advanced G-spot vibrator enabled with touch-sensitive technology. It can be used for solo play, couples play from a distance or you can connect it to your favorite videos.

What You Get In The Box:

Keon by KIIROO

KIIROO FeelStroker

KIIROO Pearl2 in Purple

We are not affiliated with Kiiroo.com and get no revenue from this review.  We are just sharing our experiences with our readers.  

April 5, 2023

Cuddle Positions – Every Night

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cuddlingThis is the position we fall asleep in almost every night.  The man sleeps on his back with the woman turned away from him.  She uses his underarm to place her pillow (or rests her head on his bicep).  The man can reach around naturally and cup her breast or hold her hand/wrist.

Pros & Cons
+ Extremely comfortable position if the man likes to sleep on his back and the woman on her side.  

– The arm under the head can “go to sleep” after a certain amount of time.  

 

Why is Cuddling so important?

When you cuddle with someone you care about, your body releases a hormone called oxytocin that calms you and makes you more likely to deal better with stress.  Cuddling also has a large connection with being nurtured.   It has been shown through research that cuddling helps an infant develop an attachment to his/her parent.  This is instinctual and as you grow older, adults can cuddle to form this same attachment.  Cuddling has also been shown to boost an infant’s oxygen levels, calm its breathing, and ease pain signals. And for an underweight baby, it raises survival chances by more than a third. It helps the brain grow and makes infection and other illnesses, like hypoglycemia or hypothermia, less likely.   This is why we love to cuddle.   

Benefits to our bodies from cuddling

  • Ease Stress
    • When you cuddle with someone you care about, your body releases a hormone called oxytocin that calms you and makes you more likely to deal better with stress. 
  • Helps Your Heart
    • It’s good for your heart.  Cuddling lowers blood pressure. Scientists say it’s clearer that women get this benefit from cuddling, but it seems to be true for both sexes.
  • Relieves Pain
    • A good cuddle may give you more than just moral support after an injury. The oxytocin cuddling releases can help block pain signals. 
  • Fight Colds
    • Too much stress effects the immune system.  Hugs from people you trust may protect you against this common virus, especially if you’re under a lot of stress. And if you’re already sick, more cuddling might keep your symptoms from getting worse.
  • Connects You to Your Partner
    • Oxytocin is sometimes called the love hormone.  Whether having sex, cuddling, touching, dancing, or holding hands, your body is releasing oxytocin.  Couples who cuddle and kiss freely tend to be happier, healthier, and less stressed.
  • Helps You Sleep
    • Oxytocin is the key ingredient again. Because of oxytocin calming effects, it relaxes you and helps you sleep.

Benefits to cuddling your partner

  • Cuddling improves satisfaction in relationships. 
    • In an experimental study, increased cuddling for married couples resulted in statistically higher relationship satisfaction. This finding was particularly notable as the couples who increased their cuddling behaviors were compared to couples who increased time spent together over mealtimes and those who did not change their behavior.
  • Cuddling helps maintain focus on your partner. 
    • In the same study, with increased cuddling, the focus is honed in on our romantic partner as opposed to thinking “what else is out there?”
  • Cuddling releases oxytocin and promotes positive emotions. 
    • Affectionate touch behaviors release oxytocin.  Oxytocin is a natural love hormone that helps us feel closer to our partners. When we cuddle, we feel a surge of positive emotions such as love, adoration, and trust. While cuddling typically occurs around sexual activity, it is perceived to be a nurturing type of behavior rather than a sexual one.
  • Cuddling after sex benefits your relationship. 
    • In a longitudinal study, the duration and quality of post-sex affection including cuddling are related to greater subsequent reports of relationship and sexual satisfaction.  Couples can use this time to be close to each other physically and emotionally, sharing their thoughts and feelings, or not saying anything at all.

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March 29, 2023

How To Watch Porn Together As A Couple

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How To Watch Porn Together As A Couple

Scenario:  You are sitting in a dark room with a bag of Cheetos half eaten, sweat dripping down your eyebrows. You are licking your lips and madly clicking your mouse with your eyes focused on your computer screen. You slowly lean back and unzip your pants, getting Cheeto crumbs all over your crotch. 

The door whips open…

All of the sudden your wife is standing behind you holding 2 bags of groceries. She drops the the grocery bags as she screams, “Oh my Gosh!”  Both bags of groceries drop from her arms in slow motion to the floor and the milk gallon bursts on impact splattering white liquid all over the room.

Not exactly the white splashing liquid you wanted to splash all over the room right?  Well, it doesn’t have to be like this. You are not a teenager anymore and there is no need to feel ashamed of enjoying the thrill of seeing naked strangers fuck.  

Things To Overcome When Watching Porn Together

      •  It can be extremely embarrassing for a woman to admit that they enjoy watching porn. 
          • Women feel their partner will not view them as “innocent” if they agree to watch/enjoy a porn together.
              • Don’t porn shame her.
          • Women feel their partner will think that just because she enjoys watching a video of a woman banging two guys that automatically means she herself wants to bang two guys.
              • Do not assume or force ideas onto your partner about things you see in videos.  Just watch and enjoy.  You can talk and be open, but keep it light-hearted and let her tell you her kinks, not YOU tell her what YOU think her kinks are because of a video you chose and she had an orgasm to. 
          • Women avoid porn because they feel their partners may then think they have total permission to watch porn or force them to try they things they watch together.
              • Just because you watch a porn together once doesn’t mean when she comes home from work you should have a porn video on the large screen like it’s an episode of The Office.
          • Women can get jealous of porn stars, their bodies, and the various acts they perform.
              • Try not to obsess on a porn star or their bodies. Some women are self conscious and this insecurity makes them feel totally uncomfortable watching porn stars.  This is also a jealousy issue, and one of the biggest road blocks when dealing with enjoying porn together for both partners.
      • It can also be embarrassing for a man to admit they enjoy watching porn.
          • Most men have watched and masturbated to porn whether they admit it or not. But for them, porn has became a ritual they do by themselves, secretly, because that’s how they’ve always watched it.
              • Don’t porn shame him.
          • Some men prefer not to watch porn with their partners because they have issues with their own penis size and do not want their partner to study, or be “ruined” by seeing other dicks in action.
              • As mentioned above, jealousy is a huge issue when watching a porn with your partner.  From body shape, breast size, penis size, to the various acts porn stars perform, it can create insecurities.  Be open and do not obsess on the porn stars dick size.
          • Some men and women feel that watching porn is cheating.
              • Every relationship is different, and cheating is dependent on your relationship and the rules all parties in that relationship have agreed upon.  And this is why watching porn together could totally remove the cheating aspect.
      • A lot of people have moral issues with the idea that people are paid to have sex while others watch.  Whether that be making porn videos or prostitution.  
      • Religious beliefs may prevent someone from enjoying watching porn.

So how do you overcome some of these issues?  First, you want to read them again and understand them. The only way you overcome them is understanding them.  From there, communication and acceptance are important.  Talk to your partner and make sure they understand that no kink or fantasy they may have will ever be shamed by you, no matter what the kink may be.

Communicate

As with most relationship choices, talking about your desires is always a good first step. And I don’t mean yelling out, “Hey, instead of watching Curb Your Enthusiasm tonight, let’s watch this video called Tranny verse Granny.”

Communication is the key to a healthy relationship.  And despite the taboos involved with watching porn together, it can be something we’d consider healthy in a relationship because it keeps you and your partner sexually open. Sit your partner down and let your partner know that you would love to do something tonight that is a bit naughty. Maybe even suggest a weekly game. One week your partner can pick out something they want to do that they feel is naughty, and the next week you can do something you choose.  

 

A Few Reasons Why Watching Porn Together Is Healthy For Your Relationship

      • Watching porn together can bring you and your partner closer together.
      • Watching porn together can lead to intimate and honest conversations.
          • This is a good way to open up about your possible kinks. 
      • Watching porn together can replace foreplay when kissing and cuddling isn’t enough. 
      • Watching porn together can spark new ideas in the bedroom.  You might even discover you like things that you have never even considered.

Choosing the right video.

The internet is filled with porn. Which, if you’re not a seasoned user, can make it hard to filter through to the stuff you like, and harder still for two people to find something they both like. With that said, a lot of mainstream porn can be violent, misogynistic, and unrealistic, so talking about your boundaries beforehand is important.  A good start is finding videos that can be sexy and fun.  Maybe try a website like MrSkin.com.  This site not only can get you worked up, but it can also lead to fun and kinky conversations regarding various topics in the movie industry and all the various sex scenes in movies.  

Just be careful with the main “tube” porn sites, because even a simple search for “threesome” could yield results featuring step-siblings, or other taboo-themed content, which may or may not be too extreme.  If you’re searching together, make sure you keep an open line of communication and ask your partner prior to clicking a video if this is something they’d be interested in.

For us, our first video together was a VHS tape, starring Ron Jeremy.  How do I remember this?  Because it was the only video I had in my collection.  The internet was around, but our connection was dialup and watching videos online just wasn’t possible for us. So we had our lucky VHS tape and would probably make it through half a scene before we’d turn it off and make the magic happen. 

Take turns

Once you have a sense of each other’s boundaries, maybe take turns on which video you decide to watch together.  This can help open the door to talk about kinks and things you may be interested in and your partner doesn’t know about.  It also gives your partner the same opportunity.  

Do (or do not) try this at home.

One of the great things about watching porn as a couple is that you might see something you want to try yourselves. This can be a good staging area for consent, because you’re both watching the same act in real-time and can agree together if you’re into it, versus one person trying to incorporate something they once saw on their own.  Just a quick little comment like, “Hey, that looks kind of hot, what do you think?”  If your partner responds, “It’s very hot.”   You can then follow up with a passive question such as, “Is that something you think you’d like to try or not really?”  If the answer is not really, move on.  Remember the huge list at the top of this article that talks about all the things you need to overcome when watching porn together?  This is a huge red flag. Do not pressure your partner to try the things you see in videos, this is the exact reason a lot of couples can’t watch videos together.