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September 15, 2021

DIY: Make Your Own Penis Milking Table – Do It Yourself in 10 Minutes

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DIY: Make Your Own Penis Milking Table – Do It Yourself in 10 Minutes

First, we do not get paid any percentage of the items we link below that you’ll need to build your own milking table.  Sex blogs are not allowed to have affiliate links to Amazon.  Therefore, our links are simply to help you guys find the materials and tools needs to create your own milking table. 

Materials for Milking Table

We have searched for the cheapest options possible.  You could get a used drill at Goodwill if you do not already have one.   You can find a table on various websites or local stores, but it will need to be a 72″ table.  In our project, we used a 72″ plastic folding table.  All videos and pictures were taken with our homemade table.   Although the weight limit is 100 pounds on this table, Ryan is 6’4, 245 pounds. But because we just wanted a quick experience and not a full time furniture piece, we risked it a bit and put together a fold-away milking table very quickly.

Materials:

    1.  $12.99  Silicone Lips
    2.  $5         Electric Tape 
    3.  $84        72″ Table

Optional Extras:

Satin Sheet that fits table exactly
Pillows

Tools:

4.  $20     2″ Hole Saw Drill Bit
5.  $30    Drill

 

If these tools and materials already turn you off, that’s okay.  By demand, we have decided to help readers and make the table for you. Please note, we can do a 2″ or 4″ hole and customize it somewhat, but it’s going to be the exact table we use in the photo and videos with the material above.  Because shipping on this item is so high (over $75 UPS), we’d highly suggest trying it on your own first. We don’t mind doing it for you, but please note we have no control over shipping costs.   Check out the shop now:  Homemade Milking Table.   You will need to contact us first so we can make sure we know what you are looking for.  

We built this for a reader that paid extra for a larger hole and sheet to cover the table.

A Brief History on our Milking Table Journey:

Our first idea was to use a cheap massage table you find on Amazon. We quickly learned that because of all the wires and cords which stabilize those tables, it really isn’t possible for a person to comfortable sit underneath.  And I have no idea how safe your penis is with wires all around it.  We then started looking at the expensive homemade tables that have thick wood, cushions, and all the works.  The only problem was we do not want a full time milking table, and we definitely did not want to pay $600+$100s in shipping.   We really just wanted to record a few videos for fun and see what the experience would be like.  This led us to search for the cheapest possible option to simply put a hole in it, climb on top or underneath it, and milk or be milked.  With any DIY project, please make your own decisions on what you feel is safe or unsafe.  Personally, if we used this table more than 4 or 5 times, I’d invest in a professional table that is sturdy and safe.  Proceed with caution. 

Milking Table Instructions

It’s pretty self explanatory.  Lay the table out and position your body on top of it.  Do not get in the center because most tables have a center piece that goes down the middle to help keep the table stable.  Therefore, move over to one side about 6 inches.  This actually also helps you reach around and pull your penis and balls through the hole, as you are closer to one side and it makes it easier to reach around.  Position your body as if you were laying on the table face down.   Make sure you slide down a tad because the table folds in the middle and you obviously do not want to drill a hole there.  Once positioned properly, mark the spot with your hand.   That is where you will put the hole.  With the drill bit I linked, this will literally take 5 seconds.  Since the table is plastic, it immediately creates an exact 2″ hole.  If you just want your penis to go through, get a smaller drill bit.   Or make 2 holes.   One for your dick, one for your dick and balls.  With just the penis, it creates the illusion of a longer dick, since the balls stay on top of the table and your entire shaft will be below.  If you know your measurements with a cock and ball ring, perfect.  Because for me, it was the exact size of a perfect cock and ball ring.  So it not only holds me in place, but it has a tight enough grip that it makes the dick harder and veins more prominent. 

The table linked is not that sturdy, but sturdy enough if you are under 250 pounds.  However, we placed two high stools on each side just in case the legs gave out.  

Once you have the holes drilled, simple cut off about 2 inch pieces of electric tape and go from top to bottom of the hole, making sure to cover all the edges of the new hole.  This will make the hole comfortable so you do not get scratched.  This tape also reacts well to lube so your penis and balls can easily slide in and out when needed.  That’s it!  Have fun with your new milking table!

 

Other Do It Yourself Ideas For A Milking Table

*Edit.  We have been getting a lot of questions about stability.

“How can I secure the legs and make the milking table more sturdy?”

For us, we used 2 stools/benches that we had in our kitchen.  The height was about the same and we put the stools on each side of the table.  The stools did not touch the table and were placed there just in case something happened with the legs of the portable folding table.  We have never had an issue, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.  For us, we wanted a milking table that we could record videos and take photos, but easily put it away when we were done.  So the portable table was perfect. However, there are other much more sturdy do it yourself designs that you could easily put together for the same amount of work.  Just get 2 sawhorse stands and a used door at your local thrift shop.  It may be a bit more costly, but this would be extremely sturdy.  You can follow the steps above and drill the hole in the center of the table. Please note, you will probably lose 1 to 2 inches of penis on the underside of the table due to the thickness of the wood.  With our original design, very little penis is lost because the table itself is made of a very thin plastic.   

This reader wanted one on each side rather than the same side. So we did that for him.

Enjoy Our Milking Table Pics and Videos Below!

Enjoy the pics we captured from our home video we filmed last night!  During the shoot, I had a vibrating wand balanced between my legs with my feet and a glass of wine off to the side!  If you want to see what type of creative things I do with my husband’s cum, read here! 

Interested in seeing other milking table pictures and videos?  Check out the cool reddit we found:  r/milkingtable

More videos here:   Milk Dicks

Check out our other extreme experiences and positions here!

August 17, 2021

Extreme Sexual Ideas: Blood Bath Confessions, Bathing in The Fluids with your Partner

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blood bathsExtreme Sexual Ideas: Blood Bath Confessions, Bathing in The Fluids with your Partner

This blog post is going to be a bit more of “confessions of our relationship” than how relationships should be.  Every couple is unique and different.  A lot of things we do is different than most couples.  For instance, we’ve opened our bedroom to other women,  published experiences online, posted amateur videos, shared our opinions on all types of sex, and religiously post naughty pictures on social media.  I am going to make a pretty safe assumption and guess that the rest of our neighbors don’t do any of those things above (Although if they do…kinky!  Let’s connect!).  This type of thing may not be different for those of us who are in the lifestyle, exhibitionists, or just naughty couples looking to explore new things.  In fact, if you are reading this blog, you are probably more like us, than unlike us.  But you already know, you are different than most couples.   With a long list of things most people consider disgusting, we have posted videos and blogs of us face fucking until she vomits,  tattooing my wife’s name on my penis, urinating in my wife’s throat while she deepthroats, or even sniffing cum off a mirror like it’s a drug (anyone remember that video?).  Just to name a few.  We’ve even been banned from sex and marriage forums because we posted about the advantages of having sex during her period.  We didn’t do any of that to shock people.  Trust me.  Nothing we do is to shock other people.  It’s how we connect. It’s how we explored each other long before we posted on social media.  In our opinion, it’s how we stay in the honeymoon stage after 22 years of marriage.  Blood Bath

And then we share it.  Unsure why, but we share our life.  We share things that we should keep locked in a closet.  We share our skeletons.  We share things that people may find gross.  We don’t do it for the reactions, we do it because it gives us a new connection.  Admittedly, when people don’t get it, it does make our connection stronger.  It also makes more sense to us when people don’t get it.  That’s why we do it.

So let’s get into it.

Blood Baths: How It All Started

Our blood baths started pretty simple.  My husband and I were taking a bath together.  We usually get a bit playful while bathing, or I will watch tv while my husband sits on the opposite side of me and rubs my clit.  I got so relaxed I accidentally peed in the water.   Oops!  I didn’t do it on purpose, my body was just in a numb zone where everything felt perfect.  The warm water, the bubbles, the alcohol, and my clit being played with caused me to urinate in our bath water.   My husband felt the warmth and flow of my urination and came towards me, ducking his lower jaw into the water and scooping up some bath water with his mouth.   As he leaned in, he slowly released the water and let it flow down my breasts.  We loved it.  He then turned around and I gave him a sponge bath.  We washed his hair and I bathed him in the same water that I had urinated it.  It wasn’t gross to us, but more of a bonding experience.  

Continue Reading Extreme Sexual Ideas: Blood Bath Confessions, Bathing in The Fluids with your Partner

July 8, 2021

Q&A: How do I tell my boyfriend that I don’t want to be throat fucked every night?

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Q&A: How do I tell my boyfriend that I don’t want to be throat fucked every night?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Prior to our relationship, he had been in a committed relationship for basically all of his adult life, whereas I have been in numerous shorter-term relationships. He tells me ex was not adventurous in bed – basically only missionary sex, literally nothing else. I’m much more open minded and experienced with other types of sex and enjoy some kinkier things. However, I’ve never pushed any of this on him because he never seemed comfortable with it (for example, early on in the relationship, I pulled his hair during sex and he told me after not to be so rough) and I’m otherwise very happy with our sex life.

My man caught a nice buzz one night recently and a whole new side of him emerged. He threw me around, held me down, choked me – generally played the dominator role and I was REALLY into it. I came super fast. In this adventure, he discovered that he’s really into forcing me to deep throat him and making me gag on his dick – he had me do it for quite some time that night, and I didn’t mind it given how thrilling and sexy the whole evening was.

After all was said and done, we were both super happy that night. It honestly felt like we were brought closer together in this experience because he was finally comfortable enough with me/himself to explore a new side to sex. It was awesome.

However… since then, all he wants to do is throat fuck me. Every time we’ve had sex since, he’s forced me to do it. I’ve played along so far because I don’t want to discourage him, but I really don’t enjoy having this done to me all of the time. I told him the night that it first happened that it’s something I don’t mind mixing into our sexual routines as long as we still do some of the other things we like as well – but he was still pretty drunk at that point, so maybe he doesn’t recall that caveat. I don’t know.

My question – when do I say something again? I feel like I should just play the supportive girlfriend role for a little while so he can keep building his confidence up, but I literally couldn’t even get wet last night because choking on his dick was something I was just NOT in the mood for, but it happened.

I would hate to see my boyfriend lose this newfound confidence because I handle this poorly.

Venice’s response to throat fuck

Great question, easy answer.  Tell him, in a non sexual setting, that you are not interested in getting your tonsils beat up and stabbed each time you guys have sex.  Let him know that although you love it, doing it each time takes away the thrill.  Much like how he didn’t like missionary sex each time in his previous relationship, you don’t like being throat fucked each time.  It becomes less sexy and spontaneous, and more of a routine.   You don’t want your sex to become a routine.  This shouldn’t be that hard to understand, especially since you are using an analogy that compares to how he felt about missionary sex.

Trust me on this, when your boyfriend was 16, missionary sex, or even thinking about missionary sex, wasn’t boring.  Sex isn’t boring.  A routine is.   Do not make your sexual positions a routine.  

Good luck!

Ryan’s response to throat fuck

I really doubt your boyfriend will lose his confidence because you don’t want to be throat fucked every time you have sex.   Just let him know that it is sexy to change things up.  One day it should be soft and sensual.  The next day it should be quick and easy.  The next day it could be throat fucking until you vomit all over his lap and finishing him with a hand job that uses your vomit as lube.  

June 1, 2021

Q&A: My Girlfriend Makes Jokes About My Penis Size

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Q&A: My Girlfriend Makes Jokes About My Penis Size

Initially she used to poke fun at my size, and I was not quite bothered with it, I used to take it in good vein. But it continued (the joking as such as not probably increased, but it is consistent) and now somewhere I have begun to feel insecure about my size, and if she is happy or satisfied with me.

I have talked to her, she said, they’re just jokes, and I believe her also. But the bug of insecurity in my head has already crept in.

Is she just being polite in not confronting me if my size bothers her?

Should I again talk to her? But what will I say ? She will again say they’re just jokes.

Or should I “not laugh” or “not support” her jokes or even object to them outright (honestly this seems pretty rude to me though)?

This seems so trivial, I don’t know what to say or even take an offence on it, or ignore it, or what it she’s really unsatisfied!?

Venice’s response to penis size

I would suggest having an open discussion with her and letting her know these jokes are making you feel insecure.  Once you have told her, do not laugh or support her jokes.  You not laughing is just as rude as her saying a joke you have told her makes you feel insecure.  

Personally, I would never say any joke about my husband that isn’t body positive.  If he gets upset at something I might tease him like,  “Well at least you have a big dick.”   Or if he moves something heavy that I can’t move I act impressed and say, “Dang, all that big dick energy.”    I definitely wouldn’t tease him about anything negative.  The same as if he teased me and said, “Oh that fish smells like your vagina!”  Or, “This shirt is so loose if feels like your vagina!”   I definitely wouldn’t laugh.  Even if it was a joke or teasing me, I do not want to hear negative jokes about my body.  I don’t think its silly to talk to your partner and let them know, these types of jokes just aren’t funny to you.

Ryan’s response to penis size

Whether a woman considers me small, average, or large, any joke about my penis better be about it being too large.  Yes, I am that petty.  I don’t care if my penis was 3 inches erect, any joke better be body positive.  Personally I am not attracted to a person who is insensitive to others’ feelings, especially something as sensitive as a man’s penis.  And as the old saying goes, treat people the way you like to be treated.  Personally, I couldn’t imagine myself saying a mean joke to a person about their body, especially if I knew it could possibly hurt their feelings, and they aren’t being mean to me.

We’ve had various women in our group expose their breasts drunk, playing around, or just getting a bit wild.  And sometimes, because alcohol is involved, the group may tease the person (just an example), “Girl those things are getting saggy!”   No matter the mood,  I personally do not jump in on those jokes.  Whether it’s teasing or playful, I don’t find it funny to tease a person about their body.  

With that said, talk to your girlfriend about her jokes and let her know you no longer find them funny.  I assume she will understand and let it go.  If she continues to say jokes, either don’t laugh, let her know it wasn’t funny, or ask her how she’d feel if you said her vagina was huge?   I’m pretty sure she will understand size jokes aren’t very funny when you respond teasing her about the size of her vagina.

May 24, 2021

My husband and I finally tried anal and it was amazing!

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My husband and I finally tried anal and it was amazing!

I am 29 and my husband is 30.  As someone who was searching for anal advice recently and found your blog, I thought I’d share my experience.

I wasn’t technically an anal virgin when I met my husband. It happened with two previous boyfriends, but both were very painful, unplanned, “oops it slipped into the wrong hole” when drunk situations. Both were awful. My husband and I tried anal early in our relationship, but I was so nervous that we never made it past toys.

The idea of getting railed in the ass has always really turned me on, so I was determined to try again. We picked out an anal plug beginners kit and some good lube. I decided to go the extra mile, so I did a fleet enema (got it on Amazon) before we started. I also had a tiny edible, so I would feel more relaxed.

We started with some basic foreplay and PIV sex. Then we moved on to the plug kit. We got to the biggest plug and decided to give it a go. He was so gentle, slowed down and stopped when I asked without hesitation. Once I was fully adjusted to him he steadily increased speed until he was going for it and it was so. Fucking. Amazing. Legitimately one of the best orgasms I’ve ever had. Will 100% do it again.

My point is, don’t let previous bad experiences scare you away from trying something you’re interested in. With the right partner and open communication, it could become something you end up loving.

Venice’s response to finally tried anal

I am so glad you had an amazing experience!   And you know what else?!  Anal sex and semen in a woman’s ass causes a higher sex drive.   So don’t be surprised if you try this more often and you start having random spurts of being extremely horny.  Trust me, it happened to me.

I have a similar story with orgasms.   The first time I orgasmed while analing (with the help from a toy), my orgasm was so much more intense.   I believe this is because of the pressure and stretch your anus feels, which helps make the orgasm much better.  When I orgasm though vaginal penetration, I liked to be fucked hard while I cum.  When I orgasm while analing, I do not have to be fucked hard because the stretch and pressure is already intense enough to maximize the pleasure I feel during an orgasm.

Ryan’s response to finally tried anal

We are both really happy for you!  I am glad our blog could help you keep an open mind and try something that you previously had bad experiences with.  Maybe your story will help others also see the advantages of anal sex.